History Main / MathematiciansAnswer

* ''Series/BetterOffTed'': When the company gets sued for product negligence, Ted states that Veronica is an old pro at depositions by volunteering as little information as possible (TruthInTelevision, your lawyer always advises to give as little information as possible while answering questions):
-->'''Lawyer:''' Could you describe your job?\\
'''Veronica:''' Yes.\\
'''Lawyer:''' ''How'' would you describe your job?\\
'''Veronica:''' Cleverly.

* A series of ads for AT&T feature a man talking to young children in a kindergarten classroom. Here's [[https://youtu.be/k5VCFrcZ3AM?t=12 one of the exchanges]]:

"Could you [[JustForFun/DescribeTopicHere describe Mathematician's Answer here?]]"

[[SelfDemonstratingArticle Yes.]]

A final variation is also common - when given two seemingly contradictory possibilities and asked which is the case, to answer 'yes.' It is a somewhat snarky way to say that both are true, and that it is not in fact a contradiction.

Can overlap with ShapedLikeItself when the question is seeking a description, and with CaptainObvious, as these answers tend to be self-evident for anyone with a brain. Usually doubles as a CrypticallyUnhelpfulAnswer, when the "mathematician" is deliberately trying to confound the questioner. Compare NonAnswer, which is a vague "answer" which does not answer the question at all. Mildly related to WhatsAHenway and NotActuallyTheUltimateQuestion. Can also overlap with ComicallyMissingThePoint if the speaker genuinely thinks he/she is giving an answer.

* ''AudioPlay/AdventuresInOdyssey'': In ''The Ties That Bind'', Hadley gives these to all of the questions Detective Polehaus asks when he tries to get a description of the person who broke into Wooton's house. [[spoiler:This is the first bit of foreshadowing that there was no break-in.]]

* ''Film/BigTroubleInLittleChina'':
-->'''Jack Burton:''' How did you get up there?\\
'''Egg Shen:''' Wasn't easy!

* ''Film/TheHighwaymen'': After Hamer buys more than a dozen guns and ammunition to spare, the gun store owner asks him what he needs all the firepower he just purchased for, if he "don't mind him asking". Hamer just retorts "No, I don't mind you asking at all".

** Vaarsuvius [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0749.html does this]] to Haley in another strip

** When Kairi asks a Ralts" whether that's her name or her species, the pokémon answers "Yes!", then translates that Riku's Larvitar says yes as well.

-->'''Bonnie''': Ash, it's a battle junkie. Every fight you throw it into, it's like a rampaging Tauros.\\

* If you ask a [[ManInAKilt true Scotsman]] what he is wearing under his kilt, he may answer, "[[GoingCommando Shoes]]."

* ''WesternAnimation/SpiderManAcrossTheSpiderVerse'': When Miles asks Webslinger why his horse needs a mask, Webslinger answers "To conceal his identity." This is true, but the question of why Webslinger's horse would need to conceal his identity is left unanswered.
* ''WesternAnimation/SpiderManIntoTheSpiderVerse'': In TheStinger, [[spoiler:ComicBook/SpiderMan2099 and [[WesternAnimation/SpiderMan1967 60's Spider-Man]] get into [[SeriousBusiness a heated argument about who pointed at the other first]]. J. Jonah Jameson and a cop witness this, and the cop also wonders who pointed first. Jameson [[SarcasmMode helpfully]] says "Spider-Man pointed first, obviously!"[[note]]Though there's no reason for Jameson or the cop to believe 2099 Spider-Man is actually Spider-Man.[[/note]]]].

* While having dinner at Film/TheGrandBudapestHotel, Mr. Moustafa lists what the requirements were for being Monsieur Gustave's "personal guest." They had to be: rich, old, insecure, vain, superficial, [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers blonde]], needy.

** "Donald Haines, where is Washington?" "First in war, first in peace, and [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers third in the American League]]."

'''Miss Wormwood''': ...I don't suppose I can argue with THAT.

* A number of common street hustles in New Orleans, Lousiana are based on this trope. The most common one is for the hustler to bet a tourist "I can tell you where you got your shoes." If the mark takes the bait, the hustler then answers "On your FEET!" Another common one is to "spell your last name" ("Y O U R L A S T N A M E").

--> '''Random guy on the beach:''' Hey, beautiful, where are you from?
--> '''[[NoSocialSkills Shigure]]:''' My... home.

--> '''Lupin:''' Which direction do you think the helicopter will be coming from?
--> '''Goemon:''' Up.

-->'''Mira''': Hey, Ino. Are those...?
-->'''Mai''': They're maps!
-->'''Mira''': Yeah, I know that! What I meant was... why do you have two?

-->'''Deadpool:''' I just figured out how to kill this "Id" thing.
-->'''Kak:''' How?
-->'''Deadpool:''' With my ''brain''. Duh.

-->'''Vixen''': Where's the Colonel?
-->'''Bronze Tiger''': With Shade.
-->'''Vixen''': Where's Shade?
-->'''Bronze Tiger''': With the Colonel.
-->'''Vixen''': [[ParentheticalSwearing How zen.]]

-->'''Dr. Eggman''': Wait, my Shadow Man [the roboticized version of Shadow the Hedgehog] or your Shadow Man [the ''VideoGame/MegaMan3'' boss]?
-->'''Orbot''': Yes.
-->''(Dr. Eggman [[DopeSlap slaps]] Orbot)''

-->'''Reporter:''' Can I talk to you first, Yakko?
-->'''Yakko:''' I don't know, can you?
-->'''Reporter:''' Uh, tell us about some of your outrageous exploits.
-->'''Yakko:''' I don't have any ex-ploits. [[{{Pun}} All of my ploits are still ploits!]]
-->'''Reporter:''' No, no! Tell us what you've been doing.
-->'''Yakko:''' Well, [[ShapedLikeItself I've been talking to you]].

-->'''Miss Wormwood''': Calvin, pay attention! We're studying geography! [[WhereTheHellIsSpringfield Now, what state do you live in?]]
-->'''Calvin''': Denial.
-->'''Miss Wormwood''': ...I don't suppose I can argue with THAT.

-->''[Calvin and Hobbes are sitting under a tree.]''
-->'''Calvin:''' Why are we here?
-->'''Hobbes:''' Because we walked here.
-->'''Calvin:''' No, I mean here on Earth.
-->'''Hobbes:''' Because Earth can support life.
-->'''Calvin:''' No, why are we ''anywhere''? Why do we exist?
-->'''Hobbes:''' Because we were born.
-->'''Calvin''' ''(angry)'': Forget it.
-->'''Hobbes''' ''(just as angry)'': I will, thank you.

---> '''Schroeder''': It's all right. I can still play.
---> '''Charlie Brown''': That isn't exactly what I meant.

--> '''Susanita''': So, what does your dad do?
--> '''Libertad''': He doesn't know.
--> '''Susanita''': He doesn't know?
--> '''Libertad''': "I don't know what I do there" he always says.
--> '''Susanita''': "There" where?
--> '''Libertad''': "In that stall" he says.
--> '''Susanita''': What kind of stall?!
--> '''Libertad''': "Awful" he says.

-->'''Phoebe:''' So Dakota is basically a glorified mascot? I have to tell her!
-->'''Marigold:''' Out of kindness, or to see her pained, startled expression?
-->'''Phoebe:''' Yes.

%%-->'''Sosa:''' Gilbert, you've either deliberately aided and abetted a federal fugitive's escape, or you're the single dumbest human being I've ever come into contact with. Would you like to know which way I'm leaning?
%%-->'''Gilbert:''' Forward!

--->'''President Shepherd:''' Luce, take a look at this book. This is exciting stuff. It's about who we are and what we want. Read what it says on the first page.
--->'''Lucy Shepherd:''' "Property of Gilmore Junior High School."
--->'''President Shepherd:''' The ''next'' page, Luce.

--->'''Sydney Ellen Wade:''' If you don't live up to the deal you just made, come New Hampshire, we're gonna go shopping for a new candidate. ''(walks toward the door)''
--->'''President Shepherd:''' You can't do that, Sydney.
--->'''Sydney:''' With all due respect, Mr. President, who's gonna stop me?
--->'''President Shepherd:''' Well, if you go through that door, the United States Secret Service. That's my private office. You need to go out that way.

-->'''Willard''': Do you know who's in command here?
-->'''Roach''': Yeah. ''[Walks off]''

-->'''Vanessa:''' Did you use protection?
-->'''Austin:''' Of course, I have a 9 millimeter automatic.

-->'''Tony:''' ''(from inside rotor)'' Okay, tell me what you see!
-->'''Steve:''' ''(staring at a bewilderingly high-tech panel)'' It seems to run on some form of electricity.
-->'''Tony:''' Well, you're not wrong...

-->'''Jack Burton:''' How did you get up there?
-->'''Egg Shen:''' Wasn't easy!

-->'''Bruce''': Uh-huh. ''({{beat}})'' Can I ask why?
-->'''God''': ''(gleefully)'' Yes, you can! That's the beauty of it!

-->'''Smails:''' Well, how do you measure yourself against the other golfers?
-->'''Ty:''' By height.

-->'''Sally:''' Where did you come from?
-->'''The Cat:''' Hmm, how do I put this... when a mommy cat and a daddy cat love each other very much, they decide that-
-->'''Conrad:''' Oh no, no, no, no, no. Where did you ''come'' from?
-->'''The Cat:''' My place, where do you think? *laughs*

--> '''Reporter:''' Mr. Kane, How did you find business conditions in Europe?
--> '''Kane:''' With great difficulty!

-->'''Pam:''' Stuntman Mike's your name?
-->'''Stuntman Mike:''' You ask anybody.
-->'''Pam:''' Hey, Warren, who is this guy?
-->'''Warren:''' Stuntman Mike.
-->'''Pam:''' And who the hell is Stuntman Mike?
-->'''Warren:''' [[ShapedLikeItself He's a stuntman.]]

--> '''Mac:''' (''looking at watch'') Three, two, one, your time's up. You said you'd tell me what the next job is in twenty-four hours.
--> '''Gin:''' It's a bank.
--> '''Mac:''' And?
--> '''Gin:''' And? I didn't say I'd tell you any more.

-->'''Kruger:''' Where am I?
-->'''Kid:''' Earth. Welcome.

-->'''Kate:''' Where are we going?
-->'''Richie:''' Mexico.
-->'''Kate:''' What's in Mexico?
-->'''Richie:''' Mexicans.

-->'''Government Agent:''' (''knocks on window'') Who are you?
-->'''Michael:''' I'm driving.

-->'''Joker''': How can you [[WouldNotShootACivilian shoot women and children]]?
-->'''Door Gunner''': Easy. You just don't {{lead|TheTarget}} 'em so much. (Laughing) Ain't war hell?

-->'''Young Author:''' Why blonde?
-->'''Mr. Moustafa:''' Because they all were.

-->'''Reporter 1:''' Tell me, um, how did you find America?
-->'''Music/JohnLennon:''' Turned left at Greenland.

-->'''Reporter 2:''' Has success changed your life?
-->'''Music/GeorgeHarrison:''' Yes.

-->'''Reporter 3:''' Do you think these haircuts have come to stay?
-->'''Music/RingoStarr:''' Well this one has, y'know, stuck on good and proper now.

-->'''Reporter 4:''' What do you call that hairstyle you're wearing?
-->'''George:''' Arthur.

-->'''Reporter 3:''' What do you call that collar?
-->'''Ringo:''' Mmm... A collar.

--> '''Nick Angel:''' When's your birthday?
--> '''Kid:''' 22nd of February.
--> '''Angel:''' What year?
--> '''Kid:''' Every year.
--> '''Angel:''' [[GetOut Get out.]]

--> '''Tony:''' I gotta say it. It's hard to get a read on you. Where are you from?
--> '''Natalie:''' Legal.

-->'''Hammond:''' Our attractions will drive kids out of their minds.
-->'''Grant:''' And what are those?
-->'''Sattler:''' Small versions of adults, honey.

-->'''Sgt. Luger:''' Do you know a woman by the name of Billie York?
-->'''Clerk:''' You got a picture? ''(Luger then pulls out a shirt with York's photo on it)''
-->'''Clerk:''' Is that her?
-->'''Sgt. Luger:''' No, that's her picture.

-->'''Slevin:''' I'm gonna say the same thing any man with two penises says when his tailor asks him if he dresses to the right or left.
-->'''Lindsey:''' What's that?
-->''[cuts to The Boss's penthouse]''
-->'''Slevin:''' Yes.

--->'''Prosecutor:''' Chicolini, when were you born?
--->'''Chico:''' I don't remember. I was only a little baby.

--->'''Wagstaff:''' "In case I never see you again, which would add ten years to my life, what would you fellas want to play football?"
--->'''Baravelli:''' "Well at first we'd want a football"
--->'''Wagstaff:''' "Well I don't know if we've got a football, but if I could find one would you be interested? I don't want a hasty answer, just sleep on it."
--->'''Baravelli:''' "I don't think I can sleep on a football."

--->'''Wagstaff:''' "Baravelli, who's responsible for this? Is this your picture?"
--->'''Baravelli:''' I don't think so. It doesn't look like me."

---> '''Henderson:''' Say, what's that bed doing there?
---> '''Driftwood:''' I don't see it doing anything.

-->'''Frank:''' I told Jane to meet us at the hotel's rear entrance.
-->'''Ed:''' Where's that?
-->'''Frank:''' In the back.

-->'''Male Examiner:''' You have a history of arrests, but you have never been successfully charged. Is there a particular reason you chose to commit this crime, or a reason you simply got ''caught'' this time?
-->'''Danny:''' My wife left me. I fell into a self-destructive pattern.
-->''({{beat}})''
-->'''Female Examiner:''' If released, do you think you would fall into a similar pattern?
-->'''Danny:''' She already left me once. I don't think she'd do it again just for kicks.

--->'''Clouseau''': Do you know the way to the Palace Hotel?
--->'''Passer-by''': Yes. (Continues on without giving an answer.)

--->'''Clouseau''': I thought you said he does not bite!
--->'''Innkeeper''': That is not my dog.

-->'''Teddy:''' Men or women?
-->'''Harry:''' Oh... definitely.

-->''' Helldorf''': "How many mines did you lay?"
-->'''Nazi sapper''': "All of them."

-->'''Ichabod Crane:''' Katrina, why are you in my room?
-->'''Katrina Van Tassel:''' Because it is yours.

-->'''Customs Agent:''' Anything to declare?
-->'''Avi:''' Yeah. Don't go to England.

---> '''Saavik:''' May I ask how you dealt with the test?
---> '''Kirk:''' You may ask.

--> What do you call a (pick one)woman / black guy / gay man / trans person / etc flying a plane?
--> A ''pilot'', you asshole! Jesus!

-->'''Person A''': What does your dad do for a living?
-->'''Person B''': My dad's dead.
-->'''Person A''': Well, [[AmbiguousSyntax what did he do before he died]]?
-->'''Person B''': He sorta clutched at his chest and fell over.

-->'''Driver''': Excuse me sir, but does this road go to London? (Or the name of any place.)
-->'''Pedestrian''': This road, sir? No, sir. Tends to stay right where it is.
---> '''or:''' No, they keep it here and drive cars on it.

-->'''Tourist''': Excuse me, sir. If I go down the street and take a left, will the train station be there?
-->'''Local''': You know, the train station will be there even if you don't take a left.

-->'''Tourist''': Excuse me, sir. How do I get to Carnegie Hall?
-->'''Musician''': Practice, man! Practice!

-->'''Person A''': Have you lived here all your life?
-->'''Person B''': Not yet.

-->'''Engineer''': Look, sheep in Scotland are black.
-->'''Physicist''': Well, all we know for sure is that some sheep in Scotland are black.
-->'''Mathematician''': All we can be sure of is that, in Scotland, there is at least one sheep that is black on at least one side.

-->'''Student''': Mr. Smith, can I go to the bathroom?
-->'''Teacher''': I don't know, can ya? Sit down.

--> You are in a hot air balloon.
--> Watson, we're in Russia.
--> But Holmes, how can you know that?
--> See, that man below is a mathematician. His answer is both correct and totally useless.
--> I see, but what has Russia to do with that?
--> Because only in Russia do they use mathematicians to herd cows!

--> Watson, look up. What can you deduce from what you see?
--> From the starry sky? Astronomically, there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, Saturn is in Leo. Theologically, God is great and we are small and insignificant. Horologically, it's about 3 AM. Meteorologically, we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What do you deduce, Holmes?
--> I deduce that you're an idiot, Watson. If we can see the stars, then our tent has been stolen!

--> '''Customer:''' Waiter, what is this fly doing in my soup?
--> '''Waiter:''' I believe that's the backstroke, sir.

-->'''Q''': Hey, what's up?
-->'''A''': Birds, clouds, aircrafts, the sky...
-->'''A''': It's a preposition.
-->'''A''': The direction away from the center of gravity of a celestial object.
-->'''A''': [[WesternAnimation/{{Up}} A movie about a flying house]].

--> '''Customer:''' "Can I get a hubcap for a ''<[[TheAllegedCar notoriously bad car]]>''?"
--> '''Shop clerk:''' ''-{{beat}}-'' "Yeah, that sounds like a fair trade."

--> I say, I say, I say, my dog has no nose.
--> How does he smell?
--> Terrible.

-->What would you say to a cup of coffee and a doughnut?
-->Goodbye!

--> '''Jeremy''': Ryan! Why'd you shoot me?!
--> '''Ryan''': I was trying to kill you.

--> '''Danny''': So dad, should we get pizza or sushi for dinner?
--> '''Avi Danny''': Yes!
--> '''Danny''': Okay. [[{{BreadEggsBreadedEggs}} Pizzushi]] it is.

-->'''Waiter''': Anything to drink?
-->'''Spike''': Yes, anything.

-->'''Man:''' Hello?
-->'''Zefla''' Hello. We're looking for a gentleman called Ivexton Travapeth.
-->'''Man:''' Yes.
-->'''Zefla''' ''({{beat}})'' You're not him, then?
-->'''Man:''' No.
-->'''Zefla''' Right. Do you know where we can find him?
-->'''Man:''' Yes.
-->'''Zefla''' Could you tell us where he is?
-->'''Man:''' Yes.
-->'''Sharrow''' Wrong Department. [[LampshadeHanging It's the formal logic building and they're working to rule]].
-->'''Zefla''' Where is he?
-->'''Man:''' Oh, here.
-->'''Zefla''' May we see him?
-->'''Man:''' Oh, yes.
-->'''Sharrow''' ''(quietly)'' Keep going, the passports only last a year.
-->'''Zefla''' ''(trying not to laugh)'' Good. Thank you. We'd have phoned or screened but Mister Travapeth seems to discourage that sort of contact.
-->'''Man:''' Yes.
-->'''Zefla''' Yes. Could you let us in?
-->'''Man:''' Yes, yes.
-->'''Zefla''' Please come down and let us in.
-->'''Man:''' Very well.
-->'''Sharrow''' Wake me when the door opens or the universe ends, whichever's sooner.
-->'''Man''' ''(opens door)''
-->'''Zefla''' Good morning.
-->'''Man:''' [[OverlyLongGag Yes]].

-->'''Shadow:''' Where are we? Am I on the tree? [[spoiler:Am I dead?]] Am I here? I thought everything was finished. What's real?
-->'''Whiskey Jack:''' Yes.
-->'''Shadow:''' ''Yes?'' What kind of an answer is ''Yes''?
-->'''Whiskey Jack:''' It's a good answer. True answer, too.

-->'''Jake''': Did we go forward or back? Are we in the past or the future?
-->'''Ax''': Yes. It's definitely one of those two choices.

-->"Where were you born?"
-->"In a hospital."
-->"In what state were you born?"
-->"A state of innocence."

-->"What are you reading?"
-->"Goddamn book."

-->'''Arthur Dent''': You know, it's at times like this, when I'm stuck in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, about to die of asphyxiation in deep space, that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young.
-->'''Ford Prefect''': Why? What did she tell you?
-->'''Arthur Dent''': I don't know. I didn't listen.

-->'''Belgarath:''' I meant on the other side.
-->'''Durnik:''' I did not ask, but if the fish are biting on this side, it would only stand to reason they are biting over there too, doesn't it?

* ''Literature/{{Momo|1973}}'' is leaning hard into the direction of being a smart ass.

-->'''Bombest:''' How do you do it?
-->'''Beeker:''' Sir?
-->'''Bombest:''' You're a fairly ordinary guy, not at all like Mr. Phule or the uniformed fanatics he's associating with. How do you do your job?
-->'''Beeker:''' Very well, sir.
-->'''Bombest:''' Excuse me?

--> '''Fletcher:''' How did you beat them?
--> '''Skulduggery:''' With unimaginable skill.

--> '''Valkyrie:''' What is it?
--> '''Skulduggery:''' It's a box.
--> '''Valkyrie:''' What kind of box?
--> '''Skulduggery:''' A wooden one.
--> ''{{beat}}''
--> '''Valkyrie:''' OK, I'll try this. Why are we hiding from a box?
--> '''Skulduggery:''' We're not. We're hiding from what's inside the box.

* ''Series/ChicagoFire'':
-->'''Casey''': Is there anything flammable in these boxes?
--> '''Business owner''': No, sir.
--> ''[barrels burst into flame]''

--> '''Mr Baxter''': "Transubstantiation" is a difficult word. Can anyone spell it?
--> '''Hughes''': Sir, you said spell "it". I, T!
--> '''Mr Baxter''': (grudgingly) A point to Grange Hill.

--> '''Beale:''' What are you in for?
--> '''Oakes:''' Two years.
--> '''Beale:''' I didn't mean time, I meant offence.
--> '''Oakes:''' None taken.
--> (Later, when meeting Fletcher)
--> '''Beale:''' Long to do?
--> '''Fletcher:''' (cheerfully) Long enough.
--> '''Beale:''' What are you in for?
--> '''Fletcher:''' Got caught.

-->'''Cowley:''' Where are you?
-->'''Doyle:''' In the car.
-->'''Cowley:''' I KNOW YOU'RE IN THE CAR, MAN! WHEREABOUTS?

---> '''Stephen:''' What do we measure feet in, in Britain?
---> '''Creator/DaraOBriain:''' You measure them in a little slidey thing.[[note]]Also known as a "Brannock device".[[/note]]
---> '''Stephen:''' What is the unit?
---> '''Dara:''' Er, a fraction of the slidey thing?[[note]]It's a "barleycorn".[[/note]]

-->'''John Hancock''': I'm concerned over the continued absence of 1/13th of this Congress. Where is New Jersey?
-->'''John Dickinson''': Somewhere between New York and Pennsylvania.

--> '''Major General''': May I ask – this is a picturesque uniform, but I'm not familiar with it. What are you?
--> '''Pirate King''': We are all... single gentlemen.

'''You:''' "No, I don't mind at all that you're asking."
--> '''Myrth:''' Well?
--> '''You:''' ...
--> '''Myrth:''' Aren't you going to answer?
--> '''You:''' ...
--> '''Myrth:''' Out with it, man/woman!
--> '''You:''' I said I didn't mind you asking, not that I'd answer.

--> '''Jay''': The answer is yes.
--> '''Mike''': Which one?
--> '''Jay''': Mmhmm.

--> '''Ray''': ''(after Geoff kills him)'' "What?!"
--> '''Geoff''': "Uh, that was me killing you."
--> '''Ray''': "Yeah, thanks, but with what?"
--> '''Geoff''': "With a gun."
--> '''Ray''': "Thanks man."

--->'''Customer:''' I need a tire for a 2010 Honda Accord.
--->'''Me:''' What do you have on there now?
---> '''Customer:''' A flat tire.

-->'''Q''': Are there any "dead" celebrities that you think are actually still alive?
-->'''A''': Yes.

--->Emperor: [[AC:You carry knowledge about the history of your sons, the [[spoiler:Imperial Fists]], yes?]]
--->[[spoiler:Dorn]]: Yes.
--->Emperor: [[AC:Can you bring unto me this knowledge?]]
--->[[spoiler:Dorn]]: Yes.
--->Emperor: [[AC:...Can you do it now?]]
--->[[spoiler:Dorn]]: Yes.
--->Emperor: [[AC:...Fucking do it then.]]

-->'''Shay:''' I heard that you're going around calling me a ''fucking liar!''
-->'''Mackenzie:''' Where did you hear that?
-->'''Shay:''' Uh, I don't know, like... thirty-five seconds ago?
-->'''Mackenzie:''' I said "where", not "when", you idiot!
-->'''Shay:''' Shut up! You know I'm partially deaf in my right ear after Matthew Derringer hit me in the head with that fucking hacky sack in the third grade!

-->'''Danny:''' So do you want pizza or sushi for dinner?
-->'''Avi:''' YES!
-->'''Danny:''' Okay. Piz-sushi it is.

-->'''Angel Dust''': Alright, I'll try. Just don't get your taco in a twist, baby.
-->'''Vaggie''': Was that you trying to be racist or sexist?
-->'''Angel Dust''': Whatever pisses you off more.

---> '''Ryan:''' We can't just let Karl Ziktor destroy our old neighborhood, you guys!
---> '''Kaitlyn:''' I know! I mean, what gives him the right to do this anyway?!
---> '''[=JonTron=]''' Land ownership? Deed? There's gotta be some paperwork in there somewhere.

---> '''Friedkin:''' He would allow me to film Christina's ninth exorcism on May 1st. But, with no crew, no lights, and only a small video camera, alone. I didn't know what to expect.
---> '''Jon:''' Probably an exorcism. ({{Beat}}) But I'm just fucking riffing, though.

-->'''Producer:''' Are you excited for the next round?
-->'''Haaland:''' Yes.
-->'''Producer:''' What are you most excited about?
-->'''Haaland:''' The next round.
-->'''Producer:''' Can you just do one full sentence, please?
-->'''Haaland:''' I'm excited for the next.
-->'''Producer:''' You know what? F''[[[SoundEffectBleep bleep]]]''k it. Thank you.

-->'''Disappropriation''': ''n''. The act of disappropriating.
-->'''Bohemian''': ''adj''. Of or relating to Bohemia.

--> '''Spider-Man''': So your name is Logan. Is that your first or last name?
--> '''ComicBook/{{Wolverine}}''': Yup.

--> '''Paris:''' Dad, found [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helen_of_Troy this woman]]!
--> '''Priam:''' Whoa, where's she from?
--> '''Paris:''' She's from Sparta!
--> '''Priam:''' ...Agh, you twit. Nip upstairs, see if there are any ships on the horizon.
--> '''Paris:''' Right. [''he does''] Uhh... Ships. Yeah, yeah, there's ships.
--> '''Priam:''' Well, how many?
--> '''Paris:''' *thinking noises* ...{{all of them}}.

-->'''Caller:''' (''overjoyed'') Where are you!?
-->'''Tech support assistant:''' (''heavy Indian accent'') I am on the phone with you.

-->'''Interviewer''': Do you like your men short, tall, fat, or thin?
-->'''Mae West''': [[ReallyGetsAround Yes]].

--> "Where's the men's room?"
--> "Right next to the women's room."

--> '''Small Child''': Mommy, where did I come from?
--> '''Mom''': I already told you, dear. From Kansas City.
--> '''Older Child''': Mom, if a man and a woman want to have a baby, what do they need to do?
--> '''Mom''': Well, first they need to go out and buy a crib, a high chair, maybe a rattle, etc.

-->'''Sales Associate:''' Can I help you?
-->'''Customer:''' (grinning) Only if you have any free money.
-->'''Sales Associate:''' ''[[[NeverHeardThatOneBefore strained smile]]]''

-->'''Elan:''' The tragic loss to the field of ass comedy diminishes us all.

* This tactic is occasionally used by contestants on ''Series/WouldILieToYou'' when they're trying to stall for time.

'''David''': What was the occasion? And do not define the occasion or the geographical space in relation to Anthea Turner. What else ''was'' it?

'''[[spoiler:Lobsang/Jeremy]]:''' Yes.\\

'''[[spoiler:Lobsang/Jeremy]]:''' Much closer. Yes.

* ''Series/BarneyMiller'': Wojo is questioning a prostitute he has just arrested: