History Main / IWouldSayIfICouldSay

* Two examples in ''Comicbook/DoomPatrol'' from early November 2009:

* In ''Radio/TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy'', Marvin says, "Well, excuse me for breathing, which I never do anyway so I don't know why I bother to say it. [[TheEeyore Oh, God, I'm so depressed.]]"

-->"I would like to say that it is a very great pleasure, honor and privilege for me to open this bridge, but I can't because my lying circuits are all out of commission. I hate and despise you all. I now declare this hapless cyberstructure open to the unthinking abuse of all who wantonly cross her."

* WebAnimation/DuckTaleZ: In the second episode, during the ZombieApocalypse at Scrooge's mannor.

-->'''Angelus:''' "I do ''not'' like being kept in the dark!... [[OurVampiresAreDifferent figuratively speaking]]"

* The Music/JonathanCoulton song ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjcH2UmK1uo&a=p5kUhF3JYpU&playnext_from=ML re: Your Brain]]'' has Bob -- a zombie-- use the following line while trying to convince Tom to let them in and eat him.

** [[TalkingAnimal Gaspode The Wonder Dog]] is fond of mutating the expression "pull the other one, it's got bells on" to "pull ''one of the others'', it's got bells on", since being a dog he has four legs. This almost gets him caught when he has to pass for human at one point.

[[folder:Live Action TV]]

** [[TalkingAnimal Gaspode The Wonder Dog]] is fond of mutating the expression "pull the other one, it's got bells on" to "pull ''one of the others'', it's got bells on", since being a dog he has four legs. This almost gets him caught [[Literature/The truth when he has to pass for human at one point]].

* Or an atheist might exclaim "[[MyGodWhatHaveIDone Oh your God,]] [[WhatTheHellHero what have you done?!]]"

* ''Videogame/KingdomHeartsII'' has Saix, a being without a heart and therefore no emotions.

* A variation in ''Videogame/FalloutNewVegas'', with Mr. House using some proverbs that [[AfterTheEnd haven't aged well]] every now and then.

* In ''Film/TheMatrixReloaded'', Agent Smith describes himself as "A new man, so to speak."

* A variation in one episode of ''[[WesternAnimation/CareBears Adventures in Care-a-Lot]]'': Pleased with a plan, [[AccidentalKiss Grizzle kisses UR-2]], his robot minion. UR-2 is not pleased, and comments, "I'm sick to my stomach, and I don't even have one."

* A variation of this is found in ''Series/DoctorWho'', with the Fourth Doctor telling a girl [[{{Asexuality}} "You're a beautiful woman... probably."]]

** There's another episode in which [[RealityWarper Q]] is BroughtDownToNormal, where he says something along the lines of: "It gets on my nerves, now that I have them."

[[folder:Web Comics]]

* ''WebAnimation/HomestarRunner'': In the WebAnimation/StrongBadEmail "too cool", an Easter Egg has [[AnimateInanimateObject F-Sack]] criticize a PissTakeRap done by [[VisualPun "Couch Z"]].

-->'''Toph:''' ...is what it'll sound like when one of ''you'' spots it. ''*Grins mockingly while waving a hand in front of her face*''

** [[TalkingAnimal Gaspode The Wonder Dog]] is fond of mutating the expression "pull the other one, it's got bells on" to "pull ''one of the others'', it's got bells on", since being a dog he has four legs. This almost gets him caught when he has to pass for human at one point.

[[Folder:Fan Works]]

* ''Disney/{{Hercules}}'': "My friends call me Meg. At least, they would if I had any friends."
* In ''Disney/{{Aladdin}}'' after CrashingThroughTheHarem, Aladdin is hit with a broom by a matron who yells, "I'd blame parents except [[ConvenientlyAnOrphan he hasn't got 'em]]!"

* In the ''Literature/{{Discworld}}'', [[TalkingAnimal Gaspode The Wonder Dog]] is fond of mutating the expression "pull the other one, it's got bells on" to "pull ''one of the others'', it's got bells on", since being a dog he has four legs. This almost gets him caught when he has to pass for human at one point.
** There's something similar in Discworld/{{Jingo}}. A watchman says "well, at least we're all still breathing" and resident zombie (and ZombieAdvocate) Reg points out that this is a "vitalist remark."
** Death, essentially a walking robe-wearing skeleton, does this in ''Discworld/{{Hogfather}}'':

* In ''WesternAnimation/HouseOfMouse'':

* In ''WesternAnimation/ScoobyDooAndTheReluctantWerewolf'', Dracula has an interesting remark to make about how much the Hunch Bunch vex him.

* In ''Theatre/AFunnyThingHappenedOnTheWayToTheForum'' there's this exchange between slaves Hysterium and Pseudolus:
-->'''Hysterium:''' My father will turn in his grave!\\
'''Pseudolus:''' Your father's not dead.\\

[[folder:Web Original]]

** Lindsay Nagael: "This is where the tears would be if I could cry. But I can't. Botched facelift."
* In the ''WesternAnimation/WackyRaces'' episode "Creepy Trip to Lemon Twist", one ghost says to the other, "I'd be bored out of my skull … if I had a skull."

* In ''A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum'', Zero Mostel's character (a slave) says "This will make my father turn over in his grave". His young master tells him that his father is still alive. Mostel replies "Yeah, but this'll kill him!"

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