History Main / HollywoodApocrypha

* The classic Giant Bug movie ''{{Them}}!'' has a character mutter such a verse:

* The classic Giant Bug movie {{Them!}} has a character mutter such a verse:

* This is parodied in ''GoodOmens'', where Agnes Nutter's book and the ''Buggre Alle This Bible'' are both written this way.

## Yea, thy verb conjugations shall be incorrect, even to the point of meaninglessness.

# And behold, many of their stories did deal with Chosen One protagonists, insomuch that these writers did spend much labor crafting [[SophisticatedAsHell phony-baloney scriptural prophecies]] to flesh out the protagonists' back-stories.

* TheBookOfMormon is near-universally agreed to have errors and phrasing consistant with this trope indicative of a man of Joseph Smith's education emulating the King James Bible's style. Whether this is an indicative and an artifact of him ''writing'' it whole-cloth or of him ''translating'' something given from on high to the best of his ability is largely a matter of faith.

## Though the potential origins of thy text shall be many and diverse, thou shalt always generate an English version of thy text, which thy protagonist or his lackeys shall translate from the original in an unrealistically quick amount of time.

-- ''The Gospel according to Hollywood'', chapter 4, verses 1-10

** That book isn't the only one to get the treatment. Pretty much ''any'' religious text of any religion translated into English will have numerous translations going out of their way to pretentiously imitate the King James Version's antiquated English for no reason whatsoever--even if the translation is from, say, the 1970's. The Koran in particular gets it bad.

** That book isn't the only one to get the treatment. Pretty much ''any'' religious text of any religion translated into English will have numerous translations going out of their way to pretentiously imitate the King James Version's antiquated English for no reason. The Koran in particular gets it bad.

* TheBookOfMormon contains many grammatical errors which suggest to critics that the book is a fabrication by Joseph Smith, who was attempting to emulate the style of the King James Version of the Bible.
** Of course, [[YourMilageMayVary to believers it suggests something entirely different:]] that this is [[http://www.nauvoo.com/library/card-bookofmormon.html exactly the word choice you would expect of a translator with little formal education translating a work of scripture in Joseph Smith's time and setting.]]

-->"Moses was right. He that abideth in truth will have frankincense and myrrh smeared on his gums in abundance, and he shall dwell in the house of the Lord for six months, with an option to buy. But the wicked man shall have all kinds of problems. His tongue shall cleave to the roof of his upper plate, and he shall speak like a woman, if you watch him closely. And he shall...the wicked man shall be delivered into the hands of his enemy, whether they can pay the delivery charge or not. And...wait, I have more about the wicked man. I shall walk through the valley of the shadow of death...In fact, now that I think of it, I shall run through the valley of the shadow of death, 'cause you get out of the valley quicker that way. And he that hath clean hands and a pure heart is okay in my book. But he that fools around with barnyard animals has got to be watched."

** TheProphecy uses the exact same idea for a Bible found on a dead angel.

* "Toad Away", from TheFiresignTheatre's ''Dear Fiends'' album.

* ''PulpFiction''.

* ''The Book of Mormon'' contains many grammatical errors which suggest to critics that the book is a fabrication by Joseph Smith, who was attempting to emulate the style of the King James Version of the Bible.

* The U.S. Court of Appeals ruling in ''Zim v. Western Publishing Co.'', 573 F.2d 1318 (5th Cir. 1978) starts out with a parody of the first chapter of Genesis ("In the beginning, Zim created the concept of the Golden Guides") and continues in biblical fashion for a short while:

* DavidLangford's acc [[http://ansible.co.uk/writing/platens1.html#bookoofwar account]] of why ''War In 2080'' didn't have a publicity budget.

** In the same book, a scribe jotted down Cut-Me-Own-Hand-Off Dhblah's eyewitness account of [[spoiler: Om's ascension and Brutha's reaction]], and it's written like this as well. Except that Dhblah's still trying to shift his ver

''VI. And Brave, Too, To Declare Atheism Before Your God.''

## Behold, thy text shall be written in Aramaic, or in Chaldean, or in proto-Mongolian, or in Sanskrit, or in Mayan or Sumerian or some demonic language that thou hast invented on the spot.