History Main / HappyEndingMassage

* ''Series/SchittsCreek'': The SeriesFinale puns on the idea that the characters are all getting some form of happy ending with one of the main characters getting a massage happy ending. On their WeddingDay, Patrick gifts David with a massage, and David is surprised and blissed out that it includes ''that'' kind of happy ending. Patrick is mortified, as he didn't intend that to be part of the gift and only left the masseur an envelop of cash and instructions to take very good care of David. Thankfully, David and Patrick are a solid couple and talk it out, and David even tells Patrick that he is his "happy ending" during their vows.

Not to be confused with a hero who gets a massage as a reward for his hard work of saving the day.

* ''Webcomic/PennyArcade'': [[http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2008/11/19/ The Jubilant Culmination]] references this, as seen in the page image.

[[folder:Other]]
* The Magazine/{{Playboy}} massage video series which consists of ''The Art of Sensual Massage'', ''Euromassage'', ''Oriental Massage'' and ''Complete Massage'' teach the viewer how to give these kinds of massages. Nude male and female models, including Magazine/{{Playboy}} Playmates Teri Weigel (Miss April 1986), Rebecca Armstrong (Miss September 1986) and Pia Reyes (Miss November 1988) and demonstrate these massage techniques on each other while a narrator describes the execution of their intimate physical contact.
[[/folder]]

[[quoteright:251:[[Webcomic/PennyArcade https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/happy.png]]]]
[[caption-width-right:251:You just know this won't end "happily"]]

Massages are good fodder for comedy, because the near-intimate touching is uncomfortable or can create [[RagingStiffie an uncomfortable situation]].

* A now-banned commercial for the NFL has a guy getting a massage from an attractive-looking nurse, and appearing to make this request (she objects, insisting she'd be fired if she did). Eventually, she gives in and turns the television in the room on to football. (What he had actually wanted.)

* The titular character from ''ComicBook/DarkReign: Mister Negative'' is a crimelord, who among many other criminal businesses owns a brothel masked as massage parlor. In one scene inside it we see a guest that just asks for "happy ending" - seconds later both he and girl are killed by a supervillain working for ComicBook/TheHood, who had just declared a gang war on Negative.

* In the end of ''Fanfic/KaraOfRokyn'', [[ComicBook/{{Supergirl}} Kara]] gets one of her boyfriend, which leads to a marriage proposal.

* The ''Fanfic/EmpathTheLuckiestSmurf'' story "Monkey On Your Smurf" plays with this idea when Papa Smurf complains about the massage Polaris Psyche is giving him, and wishes he could have had one with Smurfette as the masseuse.

* ''[[Series/KolchakTheNightStalker The Night Stalker]]'' (1972). Kolchak is investigating the murders of several women, including a masseuse/prostitute. He goes the massage parlor to interview one of the girls, and ends up being arrested when the woman (actually an undercover vice cop) thinks he's asking for one of these.

* "Couples' Retreat" includes a scene where a bickering couple gets massages. The husband is aroused by his female masseuse, and hints to her that he wants her to finish the job. She tells him, "I'm sorry, but THAT will not have a happy ending."

* A man goes to a massage parlor, and asks masseuse about if it's true you can pay for a sexual version there. The masseuse confirms it, and once they've haggled on the price, takes the money, leaves the room... and comes back five minutes later asking if he's done masturbating.

* Mass murderer Kevin Olmstead in ''Literature/AlexCross'' novel ''Cross My Heart'' targets parlors that offers these.

* In ''Literature/TheDresdenFiles'', Gentleman John Marcone, the crime boss of Chicago, owns a fitness center/massage parlor that's blatantly a front for a brothel. He also gives Harry a complementary Platinum Membership and run of the facility, for two reasons. One, he's hoping to keep Harry DistractedByTheSexy, and two, he's very well acquainted with Harry's reputation as a PersonOfMassDestruction and figures that since Harry's too powerful to be stopped if he decides to break into any of Marcone's properties, it's much cheaper to simply give him free access instead of having Harry blast his way through. Harry, being a ScrewTheMoneyIHaveRules person, never takes advantage of the former benefit.

* Phoebe from ''Series/{{Friends}}'' worked in a real massage parlour. Her idiot brother thought it was the other kind. [[HilarityEnsues Awkwardness ensues]]. In a later episode she mentions that the manager fires people who do this sort of thing with clients, which lands Phoebe in hot water when she develops a crush on a client and starts making out with him while on the clock.
* They tried to bust one of these in ''Series/{{Reno 911}}''. The Masseuse gave him a very painful and entirely non-sexual massage, and he determined that this place in not a HappyEndingMassage. After he left, we find out that it is.

* In the short-lived series ''In Case of Emergency'' Kelly Hu's character works at one of these parlors. Naturally she puts on the [[AsianHookerStereotype Asian Hooker Stereotype]] for the clients. When she has a phone conversation in front of a client and talks normally, he asks what happened to her accent, and she puts on the accent again and replies "It go in and out love

** In another episode, the detectives stake out a place suspected of doing this. All of them fail to find evidence, until Wentworth goes ''twice'' and succeeds, discovering a male prostitute is offering them.

* One of the cases on the half-hour courtroom drama show ''Superior Court'' had police taking over a massage parlour and busting guys asking for "extra service." The guy on trial in the case was a D.A., and produced a witness who was mistakenly busted when he went into the place looking for a legitimate massage. The witness (played by comic actor Phil Leeds) tells his story so amusingly that the judge himself is {{Corpsing}} during the guy's testimony.
* ''Series/LawAndOrderSpecialVictimsUnit'' has an instance of a billionaire defense contractor receiving his "happy endings" from underage girls. Naturally, TheSquad hammer him with everything they've got.
* On ''Series/MyNameIsEarl'', Earl is trying to cross the man he and his ex-wife accidentally kidnapped in an earlier episode off his ListOfTransgressions. He decided that, since he caused the man a lot of stress, Earl would book him a massage with "Camden's only legal masseuse." She's a bit worried, because many guys in Camden (including, [[NoodleIncident apparently]], Randy) would attempt to invoke this trope. [[spoiler:Of course, they find that Josh has died in an unfortunate MurphysBed incident, and (as Earl puts it) "there was ''no one'' who could massage the stiffness out of him now."]]
* PlayedWith once on ''Series/NCISLosAngeles'' when Sam tracks down a shady business man at a massage parlor. He silently takes over for the masseuse, and then sticks his gun into the back of the businessman's neck and promises a very ''un''-happy ending if he doesn't start talking.

* Wei from ''VideoGame/SleepingDogs'' is heavily implied to get these whenever he visits certain massage parlors dotted across the map. With enough leveling he even gets a "special bonus" every time he buys one. PlayedForLaughs in a later conversation, in which a character states that he wants to get a groin massage, which [[TooMuchInformation creeps Wei out]]. The person then clarifies that he means a real one, telling Wei to get his mind out of the gutter.

-->'''Lilly:''' At this point, I've got my fingers crossed that this is a Romeo & Juliet-type massage, because I ain't hoping for no happy ending!

* One episode of ''WesternAnimation/TeenTitans'' ends with Raven getting one from a bunch of aliens. Three inch tall HiveMind aliens. One of the more pleasant endings, but no "happy ending". [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar Not that it didn't sound like it...]]

* Attempted and failed in a gender-inverted example in ''Film/LooseScrews'' as Brad Lovett tries to pose as a Japanese masseuse in order to give Mona Lott an arousing massage, but instead gives her shoulder pain.

* Attempted and failed in ''Film/LooseScrews'' as Brad Lovett tries to pose as a Japanese masseuse in order to give Mona Lott an arousing massage, but instead gives her shoulder pain.

* "Fanfic/TheLifeAndTimesOfAWinningPony": Rarity ''inadvertently'' sets up one of these for Cloud Kicker when arranging a spa trip for her as an apology for tricking her into [[BadlyBatteredBabysitter foalsitting the Cutie Mark Crusaders]]. Rarity had no clue she had set up ''this'' kind of massage until Cloud Kicker told her. For the record, the twins only agreed to it because it was Rarity their most loyal, long-term customer (who had saved the world three times, to boot) asking.

--> "My name is Bob Kelso and I like whores."

* On ''Series/MyNameIsEarl'', Earl is trying to cross the man he and his ex-wife accidentally kidnapped in an earlier episode off his ListOfTransgressions. He decided that, since he caused the man a lot of stress, Earl would book him a massage with "Camden's only legal masseuse." She's a bit worried, because many guys in Camden (including, [[NoodleIncident apparently]], Randy) would attempt to invoke this trope. [[spoiler: Of course, they find that Josh has died in an unfortunate MurphysBed incident, and (as Earl puts it) "there was ''no one'' who could massage the stiffness out of him now."]]

* The Magazine/{{Playboy}} massage video series which consists of ''The Art of Sensual Massage'', ''Euromassage'', ''Oriental Massage'' and ''Complete Massage'' teach the viewer how to give these kinds of massages. Nude male and female models, including Magazine/{{Playboy}} Playmates Teri Weigel (Miss April 1986), Rebecca Armstrong (Miss September 1986) and Pia Reyes (Miss November 1988) get intimate and demonstrate these massage techniques on each other while a narrator describes the execution of their physical contact.

* Phoebe from ''Series/{{Friends}}'' worked in a real massage parlour. Her idiot brother thought it was the other kind. [[HilarityEnsues Awkwardness ensues]]. Though she did once bite the arse of a guy she fancied, which implied that she'd be happy to do it for the right customer.

->'''Josh''': I loved them so much...\\
'''Alex''': You loved who? \\
'''Josh''': The girls of Madam Camae's Filipino Palace... \\
'''Alex''': You've been spending our rent money on Filipino hookers? \\
'''Josh''': They're not hookers, they're massage therapists. \\
'''Mover #2''': Yeah, she'll massage your cock for money. \\
'''Mover #1''': There's a word for that, I think it's hooker. \\
'''Josh''': YOU'RE A HOOKER!

A recent variant in fiction has no "happy ending" offer after a massage, but rather the massage itself has that effect. The masseuse, with or without realizing it, is actually so incredibly skilled that (s)he can bring a client unbelievable pleasure with a massage that's never shown to involve anything remotely sexual. [[noreallife]]

!!Examples

[[folder:Anime and Manga]]

[[folder:Film]]

* In ''Full Frontal'', Gus (played by Creator/DavidDuchovny) asks for a happy ending to his massage - and wonders if he can wear a plastic bag on his head while doing it. The masseuse refuses but blames herself later [[spoiler:when he's found asphyxiated in his room]]. And this is all played for laughs.

[[folder:Live Action TV]]

[[folder:Stand Up Comedy]]
* Creator/RonWhite has a skit where he talks about how an upscale hotel's services are top-notch even for his dog. The concierge for dogs even offers a relaxing massage for his animal, to which Ron White says he replied "he's going to want a happy ending."
* Creator/GabrielIglesias encountered one of these.
-->'''Lady''': Hey, you! You, come inside!
-->'''Gabriel''': No, no thanks--
-->'''Lady''': No, really, you ''come'' inside!
-->'''Gabriel''': ''[suddenly interested]'' Felipe, you hear that?
-->'''Felipe''': Fool, I'm inside!
* Referenced in [[WebOriginal/IISuperwomanII Lilly Singh's]] video "The Awkward Massage", recounting an incident when she wandered into a random parlor and received very suspect treatment from her masseuse.
-->'''Lilly:''' At this point, I've got my fingers crossed that this is a Romeo & Juliet-type massage, because I ain't hoping for no happy ending!
* Creator/DanielTosh has turned these into something of a running gag; Japanese chiropractors, little old ladies, "pleasure coaches," chickens...
* Creator/RodneyCarrington on massages:
-->I don’t understand the whole concept of a massage. You get a woman to rub all over every single part of your body except the one part you really want rubbed on. And it's not like she didn't know what part I was talking about. I kept pointing at it and clearing my throat.
* Creator/CraigFerguson has a bit on this in one of his standup routines. He says that every time a man goes to get a massage, he knows it's not going to be a HappyEndingMassage... but in the back of his head, he always thinks it might turn into one. He logically knows it won't. But it miiiiiight.
* Creator/BillEngvall has a bit where his wife sends him to a massage parlor to help relieve him of stress. His struggle to maintain his SeductionProofMarriage when greeted by the MsFanservice masseuse only leaves him ''more'' stressed.
* A man goes to a massage parlor, and asks masseuse about if it's true you can pay for a sexual version there. The masseuse confirms it, and once they've haggled on the price, takes the money, leaves the room... and comes back five minutes later asking if he's done masturbating.

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Webcomics]]

* Referenced in ''Webcomic/{{Spinnerette}}'', [[CatGirl Katt's]] massages [[SubvertedTrope aren't this]] but she is offended by people thinking about it.

* ''WesternAnimation/{{Sealab 2021}}'': when the other Debbie went on vacation, she insisted on getting one of these.

The best way for an honest citizen who really needs a massage to get one without the sex getting in the way, by the way, is to look for a registered massage therapist rather than some random parlor. If you just go to some random place, it's probably going to be one of these; they're surprisingly common. If you ''do'' wander in to the wrong type, keep in mind that there is nothing wrong with just saying, "No, thank you" to whatever is on offer.

* In ''Full Frontal'', Gus (played by Creator/DavidDuchovny) asks for a happy ending to his massage - and wonders if he can wear a plastic bag on his head while doing it. The masseuse refuses but blames herself later [[spoiler: when he's found asphyxiated in his room]]. And this is all played for laughs.

* Played with in a ''very'' disturbing way in Creator/TennesseeWilliams' short story "Desire and the Black Masseur": the client finds himself getting a sexual charge from when the masseur hits him too hard. It escalates to broken bones [[spoiler: and eventually cannibalism]].

* Parodied in a ''WesternAnimation/RobotChicken'' sketch where the customer tries to decline the "happy ending" and ends up being chased all over town by his [[ImplacableMan overenthusiastic masseuse]]. Even snapping an officer's neck. It turns out [[spoiler: the "happy ending" was actually a free egg roll.]]

* In one episode of ''Series/LasVegas'', the staff struggle to find a tactful way to explain to the Montecito spa's new masseur that he is not supposed to be providing Happy Endings. BTW, Sam(amantha) Marquez goes to "investigate", but is miffed when nothing happens. It turns out the guy has some sort of superstition about only doing it to people with "positive spiritual energy".

* In one episode of ''Series/LasVegas'', the staff struggle to find a tactful way to explain to the Montecito spa's new masseur that he is not supposed to be providing Happy Endings.