History Funny / TabletopGames

*** Honestly, whether it "should" have happened or not, it's funny. And it's entirely possible the GM was aware that wouldn't normally work, but ran with it for the humor, to reward cleverness, or whatever other reason. ''{{Paranoia}}'' assumes that whatever the GM says, goes to an even greater degree than other Tabletop RPGs. If the GM decides The Computer crashes, it crashes. Deal with it.

* ThisTroper was playing in a [[DungeonsAndDragons DnD]] campaign with only one other surviving party member. We went around the dungeon killing baddies until we walked into what looked like a kitchen. GM: "You see what looks like a green soup in a bowl on the table." my friend: "i drink it." GM:"......Wha...?...... um, 3 points of damage." My friend: "ow.... ok, i drink it again." I ended up knocking his character unconscious and dragged him out of the room to prevent his death.

* This troper played a short lived semi-evil 3.5 DnD campaign involving only two players (including me) and the DM. I had a Dwarf barbarian and the other PC was an arrogant, racist human fighter who somehow got platemail. The DM made an NPC who was the fighter's lost sister who can't talk and was forced into prostitution. When we found the pimp forcing her in the back room at an inn, the fighter went back and killed him. To cover up the noise, my dwarf jumped on a table, dressed in dirty fur and leather with a tankard in each hand and began singing and dancing, having to increase volume several times so that the nearby level 10 town guards having a drink wouldn't hear the sound of the fighter beating the pimp's head against the wall.

* The first time this troper ever GM'ed, I ran a DnD 3rd edition module whose name I can't remember. One early encounter involved the PC's facing orcs shooting at them from across a chasm spanned by a rope bridge. Instead of foolishly crossing under fire, the PC's sensibly stayed on their side of the chasm, took cover, and shot back, then crossed after the guards had been dispatched. Crossing the rope bridge was a DC 5 Dexterity check, and since they weren't under fire they should have been able to take ten and get an automatic success. However, I was a new GM and forgot about this rule, as did all my players, so everyone rolled a Dexterity check. The first two to cross rolled a 3 and a 2, and both PC's fell screaming into the chasm. One of the players then grabbed the map the party had made so far and wrote "DEATH DEATH DEATH" across the chasm, at which point the third player (whose PC was the only one who had yet to cross) said "Instead of crossing the Chasm of [=DeathDeathDeath=], I'm going to leave and look for another way into the caves over there." To this day, we still occasionally mention the infamous Chasm of [=DeathDeathDeath=].

* An old DND session of mine had one of the players be framed for a large number of atrocities against the Silver Marshes. However, the previous session had him do some pretty horrible things, like assault numerous guards, intentionally set fire to a house filled with mostly innocent people, and since one of the other players knocked out a servant girl and hid her body, accidentally kill someone. So when confronted with the long litany of charges, his response was: "I am innocent... of the majority of those crimes."

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* This Troper was [=GM=]ing a 3.5e D&D module that basically involved a small village that had been overrun by goblins. After one particularly nasty combat, the party decided to just [[KillItWithFire burn the entire place]]. They're going along, setting fire to building after building, when one of the places they torch happens to have a nearly-empty wand of Levitate hidden inside. I ruled that the fire destroyed the wand, and then noticed - 3 charges remaining, and 3 PCs... They ended up stuck Levitating for the duration of the spell, unable to reach the ground. The party's [[AxCrazy barbarian]] decides to have a little fun, and simply sticks his greatsword straight out and starts spinning as fast as he can - cue the other two PCs deciding that it was an excellent time to be at a different altitude...

* MadWritter: On a internet forum, I was GameMaster-ing a "CartoonActionHour" game. They were three PCs: a air knight named Skye Emerald, a Marshall Hawk, and a jungle man know as The Shaman. I sent the Turgs, a squad of {{Mooks}} against the PCs. Skye role a flub (1 on a D12) during the battle and the PC got a fish net for her troubles. The other two were able to get rid of the the rest. The Shaman of seeing the fish net laughed and say, "Hey, Marshall. They caught a flying fish!" I was in stitches for the rest of the day.

* A new party member had to br brought up the speed on what had been going on int he world, since he had just done a pilgramage from his monastery to where the rest of the PCs were. Said recap in the form of this troper's ''GenkiGirl'' Fighter pretty much rattling off everything they'd done since the start of the campaign rather quickly. The following (paraphrased) exchange then took place:

* MadWritter: On the same internet form as my last "CartoonActionHour" game, I was doing a superhero game with it. The two PCs in this case were Stuntman and Jim Pee Zee. I had a bad mafia boss laugh at the horros. The following lines were spoken:

* This troper was playing InNomine online with some people once when [[HilarityEnsues hilarity ensued]], for background the PCs involved were a Cherub of War known as Bertha, a Bright Lilim of Music (Israfel is an Archangel in this campaign world, known as Kaydence and another Bright Lilim, of War, known as Susan, they had found an amnesic demon, and brought said demon back to the apartment of another PC (or actually of the guy who's body said PC was borrowing, as said PC is a Kyriotate ((Kyrios are angels that can possess people, animals, and sometimes other things) anyway, said demon ended up on the couch, naked, except for a towel, Kay phoned Susan (who was elsewhere, with another PC) and the following ensued

* One of the PCs in this Tropers first game of 3.5 DnD had rolled a cleric that was a pacifist in the worst way, Often times he would attempt to REASON with the various monsters that we encountered with predictable results. During one game we were making our way through a dungeon in search of a mystic artifact, and Our party became aware that A Very large spider was in the next room without attracting it's attention. Knowing just what the Cleric was about to do, This troper, who had rolled a Paladin, decided to take preemptive action.

** "...Try to manoeuvre around behind [the sentry], using cover as explained in Section 9. ''[[WithCatlikeTread Recite the Litany of Stealth]] (refer to Emperor’s Benedictions) to decrease your chances of being heard''. Creep up behind him..."

* ''{{Munchkin}}''. As a HurricaneOfPuns, there's going to be at least one that makes you laugh.

** The indexes of some Manuals of Exalted Power- the Alchemicals (cyborg/robot Champions of Indutry) mentions [[{{Futurama}} Bender Bending Rodriguez]], and the index for the [[OurVampiresAreDifferent Abyssals]] book has the following little gem:

* A certainly unvoluntary one : take the [[WarhammerBattle Wood Elves]] codex, and get to the part where they show you pictures of the models. There's one of two legendary twin elves, riding a Wood Dragon... And they're facing a lone Dwarf Trollslayer model. Whose face seems to indicate that [[OhCrap he's about to crap his pants.]]

* At one point in a homebrewed superhero game I run with my friends, our heroes were battling a supervillain's giant robot, and a player asked if his hero could attach the mech's head. I declared that the robot's head is not as well-armored as the rest of its body, so the head would have a -2 to its Defense rating. I meant that the Defense rating of the robot's head would be two points less than its body, but the player thought I meant the ''overall'' Defense rating of the head was -2. My deadpan response was, "yes, that's right. The robot's head is made of styrofoam." We were laughing for at least five minutes straight.
* I can't believe no one has brought up [[http://dndshallneverdie.blogspot.com/2007/11/from-dread-gazebo-part-of-blackhammers.html The Dread Gazebo]] yet.
** Actually, someone DID. [[CriticalResearchFailure At the top of the Game Session section, in fact.]]

* In one D&D 3.5 epic-level campaign, one of ThisTroper's party-mates crafted a moon-based [[KillSat]] version of an arbalest, which fired a bolt which was literally a mile long. He only was able to fire it once. He aimed it specifically to kill a Yuan-Ti high-priest. He killed every living thing within the borders of the city he was aiming at, except for the high priest.

*** Anyclone attempting to deceive Friend Computer into violating security protocols is by definition a commie mutant traitor and should be terminated, and possibly also repatterned or simply erased to make sure they don't cause the same problem again. Anyclone ''successfully'' deceiving Friend Computer into violating security protocols is by definition a Machine Empath, and while it's quite possible that there might be something left standing in the sector after Our Friend has finished dealing with the situation, I wouldn't recommend sticking around to see for yourself. The above story isn't funny at all; it's just an example of a crap Paranoia GM.

** I once killed a terminator with a Harlequin's Kiss. For the uninitiated, I will explain. For the initiated, this was all under 2nd Edition. A Harlequin's Kiss is a close-combat weapon wielded by Eldar Harlequins, the FragileSpeedsters of 40K. They wear no armour, just a light-refracting field that means your opponent shoots with -1 to hit. So just getting your harlequins into close combat with Terminators - big, hulking, extra-armoured dudes with automatic weaponry built in - is quite a deal. Landing a hit was about 50/50 or thereabouts, but the real killer was that extra armour. Terminator armour conferred a save of 3+ - on ''2''D6. The Harlequin's kiss has no modifier to that, but does kill the victim instantly if the armour is penetrated. Double One. Insides turn to soup. Well, ''I'' laughed.

* My scratch-built [[Warhammer40000 Daemon Prince]] always earns a few laughs every time he makes it onto the table. The model is a [[MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail rabbit mounted on a flying base]]. To date, his kill count includes most of an Imperial Guard Infantry Platoon, two thirds of a Space Marine Assault Squad, and a [[HumongousMecha Dreadnaught]].

* MagicTheGathering flavor text. The Lhyrgoyf's "Ach! Hans, run! It's [[ShapedLikeItself the Lyhrgoyf]]!" being only one example. This troper's favorite is on Plated Spider: "Most spiders wait patiently for prey to arrive. Most spiders aren't forty feet tall."

--> "[[LargeHam Behold my]] ''[[LargeHam CRYOPIG!!!]]''[[hottip:*:[[RolePlayingGame CRPG]]\\

"It's a beautiful cryopig!"\\

** The forthcoming Rise-of-the-Eldrazi card Daggerback Basilisk has Samila from Murasa Expeditionary House listing its [[EverythingTryingToKillYou talents]]:

* In a Star Wars game, one character who had been illegally smuggling spice was finally cornered by the authorities. As he was being led away he finally shouted out "[[ShoutOut The!]] [[Dune Spice!]] [[ThisIsSparta Must! Flow!]]"

* In a Star Wars game, one character who had been illegally smuggling spice was finally cornered by the authorities. As he was being led away he finally shouted out "{{ShoutOut The!}} {{Dune Spice!}} {{ThisIsSparta Must! Flow!}}"

*This troper's Shadowrun 4th Ed. group has one paticular Butt Monkey. In almost every run, he has been blown up in some spectacular fashion. First I blew his legs off with a grenade (He had tried to betray us and lured me into a room full of zombies). The next run he loitered around on the roof of a building, even though our driver/hacker had warned us of incoming air support. He was then promptly blown to pieces by an attack helicopter. Another run had him blowing himself up to sabotage an Ares megacorp facility. Finally, one time he rushed through a booby-trapped door. Cue five grenades landing at his feet, to spectacular and messy effect. We've petioned that all his characters have the trait, Allegery - Explosions.