History Funny / SkinGame

--->'''Michael:''' Harry, I'm fairly sure one is supposed to ''do'' parkour. I don't think one is supposed to say parkour.

-->“Jordan!” I boomed as I came in. I tossed a paper bag with a couple of cheeseburgers in it at the Denarian squire. “Chow down, buddy. They’re hot, so don’t let the cheese burn your ton— Oh, right. Sorry.”

-->But they were doughnuts of darkness. Evil, damned doughnuts, tainted by the spawn of darkness... Which could obviously only be redeemed by passing through the fiery, cleansing inferno of a wizardly digestive tract.

---> Ascher had a plate covered in the remnants of doughnuts that she was apparently struggling to redeem from the hellfire even now.

* When Harry starts worrying about putting Maggie in danger by reconnecting with her, Michael gently reminds him of [[CaptainObvious the glaringly obvious]].

* At the end, when Michael's offered his share of the diamonds, of course he begins to refuse. Charity, however, is more practical and points out they have to put seven kids through college, so they are taking the damn diamonds.

* Harry mentions Molly to her father, then hastily backtracks when he realizes Michael doesn't know about her new job... leading Michael to ''[[EntertaininglyWrong entirely]]'' [[CoitusEnsues the wrong conclusion]].

* Shortly after Uriel gives up his Grace (but before Harry realizes that's what happened), Harry is mad at him for not healing Murphy, and insists he help carry the coat she's laying on.

-->'''Michael:''' Harry, I'm not sure if you noticed this. But [[{{Understatement}} things did not turn out well]] [[Literature/{{Changes}} for the last monster who raised his hand against your child]]. [[KillEmAll Or any of his friends. Or associates. Or anyone who worked for him. Or for most of the people he knew.]] (...) Whether or not that was your intention, [[PapaWolf you did establish a rather effective precedential message to the various predators should they ever learn of her relationship with you]].

'''Hades:''' That much is certainly true. Hecate led Demeter around. And around and around. It was her wedding present to us.

* Michael seems to be ready to give a typical speech about God's mercy and forgiveness and lovingkindness... and then, [[AllLovingHero of all people]] he calls Harry a pigheaded, arrogant idiot. It's just the way he says it, not to mention the sheer MoodWhiplash of it all.

** The sheer MoodWhiplash when nearing the climax of the sex scene, dream!Murphy suddenly gets GlowingEyesOfDoom, pulls out a gun and shoots him.
*** Plus she pulled the gun out while [[SexyShirtSwitch wearing only a shirt]]. VictoriasSecretCompartment is active even in dreams.

** The sheer MoodWhiplash when nearing the climax of the sex scene, !dreamMurphy suddenly gets GlowingEyesOfDoom, pulls out a gun and shoots him.

* Grey's blatant flirting with Ascher can come across as pretty funny, as some of it has him sounding NotSoDifferent from a younger Harry.

* Murphy's reaction to the news that Harry's pregnant. The book cuts back to the scene after ''several minutes'' of hysterical laughter.
** Harry being pregnant in general, actually. Even for '''this''' series it's pretty bonkers.

-->'''Harry:''' Is that a ''bazooka?''
-->'''Murphy:''' No. That is an AT-4 rocket launcher. ''Way'' better than a bazooka.
-->'''Harry:''' [[DeadpanSnarker In case we have to hunt dinosaurs?]]
-->'''Murphy:''' [[CrazyPrepared The right tool for the right job.]]
-->'''[[{{Manchild}} Harry]]:''' [[NotSoAboveItAll ...Can I play with it?]]
-->'''[[OnlySaneMan Murphy]]:''' ''No''. Now go to bed.

* Uriel giving Michael his Grace is more heartwarming/terrifying than funny, but the way it's ''described'' is hilarious.
-->"So, basically, he loaned you his giant passenger jet because you needed a reading light."\\
''[...]''\\
"I trust you," Uriel said. "But, uh, I would still very much appreciate it if you didn't push any buttons or pull any levers in my giant passenger jet."

* Michael notes that one of the statues of the fairy queens in the Underworld looks a lot like Molly (she didn't tell him she's the new Winter Lady). [[SarcasmMode Harry does an excellent job of covering]].
-->"Pffft," I said. "What? No. Maybe. A little. She's got, uh, one of those faces."

* Hades setting the record straight about Demeter and Persephone ("Empty nest syndrome")...and what his wedding present from Hecate was: a honeymoon free of his mother-in-law.
--> '''Harry:''' The stories don’t record it quite that way. I seem to recall Hecate leading Demeter in search of Persephone.\\
'''Hades:''' That much is certainly true. Hecate led Demeter around. And around and around. It was her wedding present to us.
** After Harry asks about it, he has a moment where he wonders if there's a spell to make him melt through the floor in a quivering puddle of please-don't-kill-me.
* In keeping with Butcher's JustForFun/OneOfUs status, Hades [[http://bemusedlybespectacled.tumblr.com/post/50332086608/if-you-ever-think-mythology-is-boring-or-serious points out that he named his dog, "Spot."]]

* "Mac's beer was an excellent argument that there is a God, and that He wants us to be happy." Funny enough as it is; exponentially more so when you remember that Harry is friends with a ''literal Archangel'', which ought to be all the proof he needs.

* Harry mentions Molly to her father and then hastily backtracks... leading Michael to ''[[EntertaininglyWrong entirely]]'' [[CoitusEnsues the wrong conclusion.]]

'''Molly:''' ''(horrified)'' Oh, ''God!'' So ''that's'' what that look was about!

* In keeping with Butcher's JustForFun/OneOfUs status, Hades [[http://bemusedlybespectacled.tumblr.com/post/50332086608/if-you-ever-think-mythology-is-boring-or-serious points out that he named his dog "Spot."]]

** When Maggie tells him that she and Mouse are reading ''Literature/JamesAndTheGiantPeach,'' Harry wonders if this means she's reading the book to Mouse or if ''Mouse'' is reading the book, too. He doesn't immediately dismiss the idea - Mouse ''is'' going to school, after all.

-->'''Harry:''' ''[raises hand]'' I've been meaning to ask, does this master plan of yours come with health coverage?\\
'''Nicodemus:''' ''[flatly]'' Dresden.\\

'''Ascher:''' ''[[[NotSoAboveItAll playing along]]]'' I've always thought that insurance was more or less betting against myself.\\

'''Nicodemus:''' ''[sighing]'' '''Children''', shall we focus on the matter at hand?\\

-->"Perhaps Miss Murphy could serve as your driver. [[StealthInsult She has the shoes for it]]." I couldn’t ''actually'' hear Karrin grind her teeth, but I knew she had.

* An ''exceptionally'' pissed-off Lasciel [[InterplayOfSexAndViolence keeps calling Harry "lover."]] In response, he keeps calling her "babe", as if she was his ex-girlfriend. Extra points go to the bit where he nonchalantly tells her "We wouldn't have worked out, babe." Made even funnier by [[LockedOutOfTheLoop Michael's completely baffled reaction]] to all of it.

'''Harry:''' [[NoodleIncident Well, not at bath time...]]

-->'''Michael:''' Harry, I'm not sure if you noticed this. But [[{{Understatement}} things did not turn out well]] [[Literature/{{Changes}} for the last monster who raised his hand against your child.]] [[KillEmAll Or any of his friends. Or associates. Or anyone who worked for him. Or for most of the people he knew.]]
-->'''Michael:''' Whether or not that was your intention, you did establish a rather effective precedential message to the various predators should they ever learn of her relationship with you.

* Harry and Murphy's BigDamnKiss lasts so long that a nurse who came in cleared her throat several times and eventually went to go complain to Rawlins outside, who found the entire thing hilarious.

* Upon hearing that Kringle has a Christmas gift for him, Harry demands that he prove it by saying "Ho ho ho." Kringle complies.

* The fact that Jim Butcher ''so'' delights in the fact that the utterly sexy love scene between Harry and Murphy--after ''fifteen'' books of waiting--was just a DreamSequence. To the point where he even admitted [[https://youtu.be/Pi7A7axRBjY "My God, it's like heroin for writers!" and all he wants to do is "make us flip tables."]]

*** Plus she pulled the gun out while [[SexyShirtSwitch wearing only a shirt.]] VictoriasSecretCompartment is active even in dreams.

-->'''Harry:''' "Parkour," I panted. "[[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch Bitch]]."

--->'''Harry:''' "Parkour," I panted. "[[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch Bitch]]."

--->'''Harry:''' "Parkour", I panted. "[[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch Bitch]]."

** Furthermore, said aforementioned conversation with Deirdre includes her pointing out to Harry that sharing his life with pretty much just Mister is somewhat sad.

-->'''Harry:''' Because we aren't...We haven't gotten to...there's been a lot of...''[exasperated]'' [[ChangeTheUncomfortableSubject Look, just fuck off.]]

-->'''Michael''': Only a flesh wound.\\
'''Harry''': Yeah. 'Tis but a scratch. Come on, ya pansy.\\
'''Michael''': Pansy?\\
'''Harry''': Oh, you weren't quoting the movie. Sorry.\\
'''Michael''': Movie?\\
'''Harry''': ''[[Film/MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail Holy Grail]]?''\\
'''Michael''': ...Nicodemus still has it.\\
'''Harry''': Never mind.

-->'''Harry''': ''[raises hand]'' I've been meaning to ask, does this master plan of yours come with health coverage?\\
'''Nicodemus''': ''[flatly]'' Dresden.\\
'''Harry''': Because that kind of thing is getting to be more and more important. I mean, I know the government probably means well and all, but those people, honestly.\\
'''Nicodemus''': ''[[[DeathGlare glares at him]]]''\\
'''Harry''': Life insurance seems like something that would be worthwhile too. ''[to Ascher]'' Maybe we should strike until we get a whole-life policy.\\
'''Ascher''': ''[[[NotSoAboveItAll playing along]]]'' I've always thought that insurance was more or less betting against myself.\\
'''Binder''': Nah, in ''my'' experience, you're just playing the odds.\\
'''Nicodemus''': ''[sighing]'' '''Children''', shall we focus on the matter at hand?\\
'''Harry''': But I haven't even had the chance to dip Deirdre's pigtails in my inkwell.

-->'''Nicodemus''': Lower the Sword, or I will order Grey to kill Valmont.\\
'''Michael''': If you do that, Dresden and I will fight to the death.\\
'''Harry''': Right. We'll fight you. Not each other. In case that wasn't clear.
* A '''furious''' Lasciel [[InterplayOfSexAndViolence keeps calling Harry "lover."]] In response, he keeps calling her "babe", as if she was his ex-girlfriend. Extra points go to the bit where he nonchalantly tells her "We wouldn't have worked out, babe." Made even funnier by [[LockedOutOfTheLoop Michael's completely baffled reaction]] to all of it.