History Funny / KingdomOfLoathing

** "I deduce that this monster's name is [[RockyHorrorPictureShow Frank, or possibly Brad.]]"

-->'''You''': "This appears to be eight empty beer bottles tied together on the end of a rope."

* The Spring 2015 special challenge path faced a conundrum of there being no more potential Avatars. The solution? Making it Actually Ed the Undying, as in you are playing as the EnsembleDarkhorse boss himself trying to retrieve the Holy McGuffin. He does ''not'' disappoint.

Being an AffectionateParody of MMORPGS in general, KingdomOfLoathing is bound to have some of these.

** Or any combination of the above. BlackComedy at it's finest.

** Another one is Beyond the Looking Glass, full of references to ''Literature/AliceInWonderland''. At the Tea Party, it has the foods with "Eat Me" written on them, and the following quote takes it to the extreme: "He pulls out a plate of pastries, each with a familiar type of masochistic command written on it. A few say "Eat Me," some say "Drink Me," and one particularly off-putting one says '[[BreadEggsMilkSquick Call Me a Dirty Slut]].'"

** "I deduce that [[PennyArcade candy is delicious.]]"

-->'''Shopkeep''': "...and they're all like [[Franchise/TheDarkTower 'Eee! My eyes! Eeee!']] What? Oh! Oh, yes, naturally, strictly for self-defense purposes only."

** "So a priest, a rabbi, and a stripper walk into a bar, and [[ItMakesSenseInContext it eats all of them.]]"

* Even the basics can inspire some choice giggles. I end up laughing every time I remember that ''Meat'' is the in-game currency, especially after taking the rigmarole of justifications contradicting themselves. Yes, Meat is the currency, but you don't kill any of the monsters. You just beat them up and take their stuff! But where did you get the yeti skin? The yeti was carrying it, of course!

** Another one is Beyond the Looking Glass, full of references to ''Literature/AliceInWonderland''. At the Tea Party, it has the foods with "Eat Me" written on them, and the following quote takes it to the extreme: "He pulls out a plate of pastries, each with a familiar type of masochistic command written on it. A few say "Eat Me," some say "Drink Me," and one particularly off-putting one says '[[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers Call Me a Dirty Slut]].'"

-->A gold coin the size of your face is probably the most impractical form of currency you've ever encountered. Oh, wait -- meat. Right.

* The Sea Monkees quest has you rescuing members of the eponymous family from various dangers under the sea. Grandpa Sea Monkee is in a different pickle depending on your class. Accordion Thieves find him tinkering with a jukebox in a [[IncrediblyLamePun Dive Bar]], which he tries to repair ala [[HappyDays The Fonz]]. Unfortunately he misses and hits the glass casing, shattering it and causing the whole thing to implode.
* Grandpa Sea Monkee in general is a fountain of gags. His purpose in the game is to give lengthy stories that unlock content when asked about key words. When asked about "Grandma", he replies:

** "I deduce that [[ExpospeakGag this monster's dilemmas number four score and nineteen]], [[{{Jay-Z}} yet none is feminine in origin.]]"

* A few things have actually made me laugh out loud in this game. Chief among them is the [[FourChan guy in a]] [[ComicBook/VForVendetta V for Vivala mask]] holding up a sign saying [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment "The Spaghetti Cult is a Cult!"]]

-->'''Grandpa''': Before too long, we got ourselves [[UnusualEuphemism half nelsoned]]. Wait, what do you kids call it these days? Going steady? Right. Back then, when you loved a girl, [[CrowningMomentofHeartwarming you would get down on one knee]], [[BaitAndSwitch and she would get down on all fours]], [[WrestlerInAllOfUs and then you'd put her in a headlock]], and if she couldn't get out of the headlock in thirty seconds, then you were half nelsoned.

-->'''Shopkeep''': "That's right. Ever smash someone in the face with a beer bottle? Concussion, little bits of glass in the eyes, bleeds like crazy! Well with this, you get eight times the bang for your buck, and the rope lets you swing it from a short distance away, so you don't have to get too close to [[RunningGag the person that's threatening your life]]."

-->'''Shopkeep''': "...and they're all like 'Eee! My eyes! Eeee!' What? Oh! Oh, yes, naturally, strictly for self-defense purposes only."

-->'''Grandpa''': Before too long, we got ourselves [[UnusualEuphemism half nelsoned]]. Wait, what do you kids call it these days? Going steady? Right. Back then, when you loved a girl, [[CrowningMomentofHeartwarming you would get down on one knee]], [[BaitAndSwitch and she would get down on all fours]], [[WrestlerInAllOfUs and then you'd put her in a headlock]], and if she couldn't get out of the headlock in thirty seconds, then you were half nelsoned.

-->'''Grandpa''': Before too long, we got ourselves [[UnusualEuphemism half nelsoned]]. Wait, what do you kids call it these days? Going steady? Right. Back then, when you loved a girl, [[CrowningMomentofHeartwarming you would get down on one knee]], [[BaitAndSwitch and she would get down on all fours]], [[AWrestlerInAllOfUs and then you'd put her in a headlock]], and if she couldn't get out of the headlock in thirty seconds, then you were half nelsoned.

-->''Grandpa'': No, whippersnapper, I'm Grandpa Sea Monkee. Look, if you can't tell the difference, I certainly ain't the one to teach you. Don't you have parents? Or pornography?

--> [Playername] hasn't got a tent or house, so you just throw the brick at [them] when [they] aren't looking. It hits [them]in the face. That was mean -- you shouldn't make fun of poor people.

* The new Copperhead Club subquest (part of the ridiculously huge and circuitous MacGuffin Quest) brings a whole new meaning to jackassery. [[spoiler: The proprietor of the club poisons you no less than ''three'' times. Not even one right after the other. He gives you an antidote each time you complete a leg of the subquest, and then tricks you into drinking poison ''again'' each time. When you switch champagne glasses to not get poisoned a second time, he reveals he poisoned his own glass. The second time, you take a drink from your personal flask instead, only to reveal he ''swapped'' it for a poisoned flask! The sheer ludicrousness of the guy's [[{{Troll}} jovial]] [[{{Jerkass}} asshattery]] is matched only by your character's mounting fury, culminating in you [[NoHoldsBarredBeatdown beating nine circles of hell]] out of him until he finally gives you the item you need.]]

* The new Copperhead Club subquest (part of the ridiculously huge and circuitous MacGuffin Quest) brings a whole new meaning to jackassery. [[spoiler: The proprietor of the club poisons you no less than ''three'' times. Not even one right after the other. He gives you an antidote after you find him again. When you switch champagne glasses to not get poisoned, he reveals he switched the glasses again. The second time, you take a drink from your personal flask instead, only to reveal he poisoned that. The sheer ludicrousness of the guy's [[{{Troll}} jovial]] [[{{Jerkass}} asshattery]] is matched only by your character's mounting fury, culminating in you [[NoHoldsBarredBeatdown beating nine circles of hell]] out of him until he finally gives you the item you need.]]

--> [Playername hasn't got a tent or house, so you just throw the brick at [them] when [they] aren't looking. It hits [them]in the face. That was mean -- you shouldn't make fun of poor people.

** Or any combination of the above. BlackComedy at it's finest.

* One optional quest has you playing the role of the WickedStepmother during {{Cinderella}}'s ball, determined to find ways to humiliate her without it looking bad on yourself. You can...

* The new Copperhead Club subquest (part of the ridiculously huge and circuitous MacGuffin Quest) brings a whole new meaning to jackassery. [[spoiler: The proprietor of the club poisons you no less than ''three'' times. Not even one right after the other. He gives you an antidote then tricks you into drinking poison ''again'' each time, after which you invariably trigger a bar-wide brawl. The sheer ludicrousness of the guy's [[{{Troll}} jovial]] [[{{Jerkass}} asshattery]] is matched only by your character's mounting fury, culminating in you [[NoHoldsBarredBeatdown beating nine circles of hell]] out of him until he finally gives you the item you need.]]

* The new Copperhead Club subquest (part of the ridiculously huge and circuitous MacGuffin Quest) brings a whole new meaning to jackassery. [[spoiler: The proprietor of the club poisons you no less than ''three'' times. Not even one right after the other. He gives you an antidote then tricks you into drinking poison ''again'' each time, after which you invariably trigger a bar-wide brawl. The sheer ludicrousness of the guy's [[LaughablyEvil jovial]] [[{{Jerkass}} asshattery]] is matched only by your character's mounting fury, culminating in you [[NoHoldsBarredBeatdown beating nine circles of hell]] out of him until he finally gives you the item you need.]]

* The new Copperhead Club subquest (part of the ridiculously huge and circuitous MacGuffin Quest) brings a whole new meaning to jackassery. [[spoiler: The proprietor of the club poisons you no less than ''three'' times. Not even one right after the other. He gives you an antidote then tricks you into drinking poison ''again'' each time, after which you invariably trigger a bar-wide brawl. The sheer ludicrousness of the guy's [[LaughablyEvil jovial]] [[Jerkass asshattery]] is matched only by your character's mounting fury, culminating in you [[NoHoldsBarredBeatdown beating nine circles of hell]] out of him until he finally gives you the item you need.]]

-->Stop. Your pants are too big. Just stop.