History Funny / KingdomOfLoathing

"That's right. Ever [[GrievousBottleyharm smash someone in the face with a beer bottle]]? Concussion, little bits of glass in the eyes, bleeds like crazy! Well with this, you get [[RunningGag eight times]] the bang for your buck, and the rope lets you swing it from a short distance away, so you don't have to get too close to [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial the person that's threatening your life]]."\\

* During the invasion by Sssshhsssblllrrggghsssssggggrrgglsssshhssslblgl in 2017, players had to have a particular effect active in order to damage it. Many of these had at least some kind of justification, like using the game's ElementalRockPaperScissors. At one point the required effect was Crappily Disguised As A Waiter, which worked because the EldritchAbomination ''couldn't see through your disguise.''

The ring doesn't attack you. That isn't particularly surpising.

* The Copperhead Club subquest (part of the ridiculously huge and circuitous MacGuffin Quest) brings a whole new meaning to jackassery. The proprietor of the club poisons you no less than ''three'' times. Not even one right after the other. He gives you an antidote each time you complete a leg of the subquest, and then tricks you into drinking poison ''again'' each time. When you switch champagne glasses to not get poisoned a second time, he reveals he poisoned his own glass. The third time, you refuse to drink from his [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial "Totally Not Poisoned"]] champagne bottle and take a drink from your personal flask instead, only to reveal he ''swapped'' it for a poisoned flask! The sheer ludicrousness of the guy's [[{{Troll}} jovial]] [[{{Jerkass}} asshattery]] is matched only by your character's mounting fury, culminating in you [[NoHoldsBarredBeatdown beating nine circles of hell]] out of him until he finally gives you the item you need.

** "Many necromancers have been dismayed to find that they've acquired a chalkdust wraith, when [[BeatBag what they had wanted was a cocaine wraith]]."

* The fight against [[spoiler:Ed The Undying]] gets funnier and funnier as you continue fighting him. By the end, [[spoiler:your PlayerCharacter has ''severed his torso'' and he is ''[[{{Determinator}} still crawling at you with one arm left.]]'']] The whole thing is reminiscent of [[spoiler:The Black Knight scene from Film/MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail.]]
--> [[spoiler:"You're making me feel guilty, Ed. Knock it off!"\\

''sigh'']]
* A few things have actually made me laugh out loud in this game. Chief among them is the [[Website/FourChan guy in a]] [[ComicBook/VForVendetta V for Vivala mask]] holding up a sign saying [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment "The Spaghetti Cult is a Cult!"]]

** Another one is Beyond the Looking Glass, full of references to ''Literature/AliceInWonderland''. At the Tea Party, it has the foods with "Eat Me" written on them, and the following quote takes it to the extreme: ''"He pulls out a plate of pastries, each with a familiar type of masochistic command written on it. A few say "Eat Me," some say "Drink Me," and one particularly off-putting one says '[[BreadEggsMilkSquick Call Me a Dirty Slut]].'"''

** "Many necromancers have been dismayed to find that they've acquired a chalkdust wraith, when what they had wanted was a cocaine wraith."
** "Knob Goblin Alchemists can turn any potable liquid into urine, given enough time."

* The fight against the [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Golden_ring_(monster) a golden ring]], from an old Crimbo event. What makes it funny is that most of damage done is self-inflicted.

-->A gold coin the size of your face is probably the most impractical form of currency you've ever encountered. [[SelfDeprecation Oh, wait -- meat. Right.]]

* The Copperhead Club subquest (part of the ridiculously huge and circuitous MacGuffin Quest) brings a whole new meaning to jackassery. [[spoiler: The proprietor of the club poisons you no less than ''three'' times. Not even one right after the other. He gives you an antidote each time you complete a leg of the subquest, and then tricks you into drinking poison ''again'' each time. When you switch champagne glasses to not get poisoned a second time, he reveals he poisoned his own glass. The third time, you refuse to drink from his [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial "Totally Not Poisoned"]] champagne bottle and take a drink from your personal flask instead, only to reveal he ''swapped'' it for a poisoned flask! The sheer ludicrousness of the guy's [[{{Troll}} jovial]] [[{{Jerkass}} asshattery]] is matched only by your character's mounting fury, culminating in you [[NoHoldsBarredBeatdown beating nine circles of hell]] out of him until he finally gives you the item you need.]]

--> [Playername] hasn't got a tent or house, so you just throw the brick at [them] when [they] aren't looking. It hits [them] in the face. That was mean -- you shouldn't make fun of poor people.

-->'''Grandpa''': Before too long, we got ourselves [[UnusualEuphemism half nelsoned]]. Wait, what do you kids call it these days? Going steady? Right. Back then, when you loved a girl, you would get down on one knee, [[BaitAndSwitch and she would get down on all fours]], [[WrestlerInAllOfUs and then you'd put her in a headlock]], and if she couldn't get out of the headlock in thirty seconds, then you were half nelsoned.

-->'''Shopkeep''': "And I've saved the best for last: I call it The Six-Pack of Pain."

-->'''You''': "This appears to be [[RunningGag eight]] empty beer bottles tied together on the end of a rope."

-->'''Shopkeep''': "That's right. Ever smash someone in the face with a beer bottle? Concussion, little bits of glass in the eyes, bleeds like crazy! Well with this, you get [[RunningGag eight times]] the bang for your buck, and the rope lets you swing it from a short distance away, so you don't have to get too close to [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial the person that's threatening your life]]."

-->'''You''': "That's pretty clever," you say, impressed.

-->'''Shopkeep''': "BAM!" he says, smacking his fist into his palm for emphasis. "Right in the head! And they go down like a sack of potatoes! [[{{Dissimile}} A sack of potatoes with shards of glass in its skull and blood spraying...]]"

-->'''You''': "And this is for self-defense?"

-->'''Shopkeep''': "...and they're all like [[Franchise/TheDarkTower 'Eee! My eyes! Eeee!']] What? Oh! Oh, yes, naturally, strictly for self-defense purposes only."
* The Spring 2015 special challenge path faced a conundrum of there being no more potential Avatars. The solution? Making it Actually Ed the Undying, as in you are playing as the EnsembleDarkhorse boss himself trying to retrieve the Holy McGuffin. He does ''not'' disappoint.

--> You consider pushing the button, but this thing looks like it could blow up a lot of people, and you don't really have any reason to kill a whole lot of people at once right now. Boy, what kind of a life do you have, that I had to say "right now"?

* The entire game is filled with strange, quirky, and above all else, hilarious humor, but the Bad Moon adventures take the cake for the sheer punishment your character goes through. [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/This_Doesn%27t_Look_Like_Candy_Mountain One of the more notable ones]] is basically one big CharlieTheUnicorn ShoutOut, complete with [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Missing_Kidney getting your kidney stolen]] (don't worry, [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Spare_kidney you can buy a "new" one later]]).

* The new Copperhead Club subquest (part of the ridiculously huge and circuitous MacGuffin Quest) brings a whole new meaning to jackassery. [[spoiler: The proprietor of the club poisons you no less than ''three'' times. Not even one right after the other. He gives you an antidote each time you complete a leg of the subquest, and then tricks you into drinking poison ''again'' each time. When you switch champagne glasses to not get poisoned a second time, he reveals he poisoned his own glass. The third time, you refuse to drink from his [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial "Totally Not Poisoned"]] champagne bottle and take a drink from your personal flask instead, only to reveal he ''swapped'' it for a poisoned flask! The sheer ludicrousness of the guy's [[{{Troll}} jovial]] [[{{Jerkass}} asshattery]] is matched only by your character's mounting fury, culminating in you [[NoHoldsBarredBeatdown beating nine circles of hell]] out of him until he finally gives you the item you need.]]

* The text from using the Stuffing fluffer (which can be used to bomb the battlefield durring the hippy/frat boy war) outside for wartime.

--> If you're having trouble naming something, set it on fire. That rule has never served me wrong, with the single exception of getting me thrown out of that maternity ward.

** The final boss of the Sleaziest Adventurer Contest is a polite and completely ordinary guy named Leonard... who somehow manages to completely skeeve your character out.