History Funny / JeffDunham

-->'''Walter:''' ''(in his sleep)'' Aw, these kids with their hipping and their hopping and their... Pull up your damn pants, you morons!\\
'''Jeff:''' ''(in his sleep)'' Second Comedy Central special. It's gonna be great. No, Mommy, I don't wanna wear the pink bow!\\

* Peanut's use of the Jef fa fa [=DunHAM=] dot com gag in Spark of Insanity, after he asks Jeff "Am I pissing you off fa fa?"

--> '''Peanut:''' You know, the funny thing is I actually AM pissing him off and he would like to kill me! But he will not because that would be a form of suicide!

* Peanut's first recorded use of the Jef fa fa DunHAM dot com gag, after he asks Jeff "Am I pissing you off fa fa?"

''(Paige screams)''

* For the Halloween Special, the puppets all dressed up as the thing they fear the most (save Peanut & Jose, who were parodies of Batman and Robin). Achmed was an American woman. That is all.

'''Jose:''' ''(to Paige)'' Would you see my ''steek''?\\

'''Jose:''' ''(to Paige)'' Would you see my steek?\\

* Bubba J taking a gun safety course: "Got it. Don't aim it at anyone that you like."

-->''I take a look at my "What would Jesus do?" bracelet. So I tried turning her into a fish. Begone, Satan! Hello, Shamu.''

* For the Halloween Special, the puppets all dressed up as the thing they fear the most (save Peanut & Jose, who were parodies of Batman and Robin). Achmed was an American woman. That is all.

--> '''Achmed''': What the ''fuck'' is polosis.

--> '''Achmed''': This is where Jeff makes up random crap to make Guitar Guy laugh.
** Interestingly "poliosis" is an actual disease, though it obviously has nothing to do with scoliosis ''or'' polio.

-->''I take a look at my "What would Jesus do?" bracelet. So I tried turning her into a fish. Begone, Satan! Hello, Shamu.''

** It's made even more hilarious when you find out "poliosis" is an actual disease, though it obviously has nothing to do with scoliosis ''or'' polio.

** "'''Marnell'''! My arm is stuck in my pelvis, you asshole!"

* Achmed's legs constantly falling of the pedestal.
-->'''Achmed''': MARNELL!!! COME FIX MY [[PrecisionFStrike FUCKING]] LEG!!!
** "He actually brought duct tape."

* During one skit with Walter, a random guy from the crowd gets up to take a bathroom break. Walter decides that he's not getting away with that and shuts the show down to wait for him.

--> ''"Then I thought, 'Damn, if it had been going a just little bit faster, I'd have a new puppet: a chihuahua on a stick!'"''

* During a live show in SouthDakota, Jeff's routine kept getting interrupted by planes flying overhead prompting this outburst-

* Achmed's legs constantly falling of the pedastal.

* One of the few instances where Dunham doesn't use his puppets - relating the story of the [[MisterMuffykins small dog]] his wife and daughter recently adopted. The dog [[TooDumbToLive was quite dumb]], with the particular incident cited being carrying a stick longer than its body in its mouth ''length-wise''. While running and carrying the stick like this, the dog angled its face toward the ground and wound up pole-vaulting. While his wife and daughter rushed to help, Dunham was laughing his ass off.

* One of the few instances where Dunham doesn't use his puppets - relating the story of the [[MisterMuffykins small dog]] his wife and daughter recently adopted. The dog [[TooDumbToLive quite dumb]], with the particular incident cited being carrying a stick longer than its body in its mouth ''length-wise''. While running and carrying the stick like this, the dog angled its face toward the ground and wound up pole-vaulting. While his wife and daughter rushed to help, Dunham was laughing his ass off.

** "He actually brought duct tape."

-->'''Achmed''': [[CrossesTheLineTwice Not yet, dumbasses!]]

-->''I dated Catwoman for some time, but I ended up with something I had to take medicine to get rid of. AND NOW IT BURNS WHEN I FLY!''

* From the ''Controlled Chaos'' special: Marnell using duct tape to hold Achmed's repeatedly dislocated leg in place.

* "They say that women age like fine wine." "...My wife's aging like '''milk'''."

* Peanut on [[AmbiguouslyGay Jeff and Guitar Guy]]: "You are so cute!"

* The "Jingle Bombs" song.

** It's made even more hilarious when you find out "poliosis" is an actual disease, though it obviously has nothing to do with scoliosis ''or'' polio.