History Funny / DarkSoulsIII

** Not just one. ''[[AllOfThem every last one]]'' is in braille.

* Seeing the Ashes of the Lords of Cinder is meant to be a solemn reminder of how far you've come in the game thus far... except for the Abyss Watcher's Cinders, which manifests in-game as four skulls wearing their [[NiceHat metal cone head caps]]. The imagery--essentially a bunch of dunce caps on a stone chair--seems so out of place with the tone of the game as to be absurd.

* If you follow Hawkwood's questline, Andre will eventually tell you that he left the shrine, but gives a message from "that crestfallen, Hawkwood." Except that this line sounds remarkably like he's saying "That crestfallen arsehole".

!! The Ringed City
The apocalyptic landscape of the Dreg Heap is dotted with messages from Slave Knight Gael. Each one is set at the edge of a long, typically-lethal fall, encouraging the player to jump, as if in reference to [[{{Troll}} the many messages players have left throughout the series to trick others.]] But unlike all those player-orchestrated deaths, these thousand-foot drops are not lethal this time! Just be sure that Gael is at the spot before you charge over the abyss.

* Speaking of hilarious item descriptions, here's the one for the Preacher's Right Arm, whatnot with the sudden mood change near the end:

* After you [[NightmareFuel undo the enchantment on the Ringed City, and age it to dust]], there are only five beings left. You (obviously), [[TheJuggernaut final boss Slave Knight Gael]], a Pygmy Lord who dies of old age in front of you, a pissed to high hell [[ThePaladin Shira]], who gives you a ReasonYouSuckSpeech for what you've done.. and a random Ringed Knight. Yes, it drops a [[FullPotentialUpgrade Titanite Slab]], but that's only once. Otherwise, it's just a random, nameless Ringed Knight who somehow survived the entire city suffering from NoOntologicalInertia, and is just wandering around the end of the world, unfazed.

** The Fallen Knight Set also carries a bit of Fridge Humour: Its name can be interpreted as a set of armour which belonged to a knight who fell from somewhere high above. A bit further from where you find that armour set, you can get on a bridge, where the Stray Demon mini-boss resides. This demon has a grabbing attack, where it throws you away after grabbing hold of you, which can result in you being hurled off the bridge to your doom. The funny part settles in once you connect the dots: the knight, of whom the armour set used to belong to, challenged the Stray Demon, but eventually was thrown off the bridge to his death. The aforementioned part of the Trousers' description above even alludes to this with its line of [[BringMyBrownPants "stained with the misery of flight".]]

* After you [[NightmareFuel undo the enchantment on the Ringed City, and age it to dust]], there are only five beings left. You (obviously), [[TheJuggernaut final boss Slave Knight Gael]], a Pygmy Lord who dies of old age in front of you, a pissed to high hell [[ThePaladin Shira]] , who gives you a ReasonYouSuckSpeech for what you've done.. and a random Ringed Knight. Yes, it drops a [[FullPotentialUpgrade Titanite Slab]], but that's only once. Otherwise, it's just a random, nameless Ringed Knight who somehow survived the entire city suffering from NoOntologicalInertia, and is just wandering around the end of the world, unfazed.

* After you [[NightmareFuel undo the enchantment on the ring city, and age it to dust]], there are only four beings left. You (obviously), [[TheJuggernaut final boss Slave Knight Gael]], a pissed to high hell [[ThePaladin Shira]] , who gives you a ReasonYouSuckSpeech for what you've done.. and a random Ringed Knight. Yes, it drops a [[FullPotentialUpgrade Titanite Slab]], but that's only once. Otherwise, it's just a random, nameless Ringed Knight who somehow survived the entire city suffering from NoOntologicalInertia, and is just wandering around the end of the world, unfazed.

* After you [[NightmareFuel undo the enchantment on the ring city, and age it to dust]], there are only four beings left. You (obviously), [[TheJuggernaut final boss Slave Knight Gael]], a pissed to high hell [[ThePaladin Shira , who gives you a ReasonYouSuckSpeech for what you've done.. and a random Ringed Knight. Yes, it drops a [[FullPotentialUpgrade Titanite Slab]], but that's only once. Otherwise, it's just a random, nameless Ringed Knight who somehow survived the entire city suffering from NoOntologicalInertia, and is just wandering around the end of the world, unfazed.

* In the Ringed City DLC, set after the player has returned the Lords to their thrones, the apocalyptic landscape of the Dreg Heap is dotted with messages from Slave Knight Gael. Each one is set at the edge of a long, typically-lethal fall, encouraging the player to jump, as if in reference to [[{{Troll}} the many messages players have left throughout the series to trick others.]] But unlike all those player-orchestrated deaths, these thousand-foot drops are not lethal this time! Just be sure that Gael is at the spot before you charge over the abyss.

* After you help Lapp find the Purging Monument in the Ringed City DLC, he will point you towards a nearby ledge, saying that there's treasure there (which by itself is hilarious if the player recognizes where that happened before). After you take a look, you guessed it, Lapp, now revealed to be Patches, kicks you off the ledge and leaves after wishing you good luck. After you look around, it turns out to be the right way to proceed. After thinking about it, this makes Patches seem less of a {{Jerkass}} and more of a {{Tsundere}}.

** Not just one. ''[[AllOfThem every last one]'' is in braille.

--> '''Yorshka:''' May I pose thee a question? This tower, this prison, stands tall and solitary, the contraption bridging its lower reaches long unmoving. So... by what path didst thou here ascend?

Art thou a creature of the air, or other winged thing?"

** The same goes for the Four-Pronged Plow. It has the same skill, Charge, as many spears. The main difference, however, is that using the skill causes you to trip at the end:

* So you're running at top speed through a swamp strewn with discarded weapons, under fire from a giant archer in a nearby tower. You duck into cover and eventually come across an elevator to reach the top of said tower. Except for some reason [[FunnyBackgroundEvent it's leaving without you]]. There's ''[[{{Beat}} just]]'' enough time for you to figure out what's going on (or [[TrollingCreator curse out the developers]]) before another elevator pops up from below you, carrying none other than this year's Onion Knight model, [[PluckyComicRelief Siegward]]. One can imagine the Ashen One's response to be some variation of "oh, that explains everything."
** Even better, Siegward explains that he's trying to get to the top of the tower ''as well'' but can't figure why the elevator only goes ''down''. Note that when you respawn or warp in via bonfire, the elevator starts with the top elevator in the middle position. And there's no way he could've arrived in town via the Road of Sacrifices, because the room is shut and there's a tough enemy still there guarding the way. Oh, and when you go up, talk to the giant, and go back down again, you can find him at the mid-point of the tower when you drop off the elevator onto the wooden platform... [[AchievementsInIgnorance Except he didn't use the elevator to get there, despite claiming he solved the elevator problem.]]
** Oh and he came up with ''undead booze''. [[http://darksouls3.wiki.fextralife.com/Siegbrau Literal. Undead. Booze.]]
* Seeing the Ashes of the Lords of Cinder is meant to be a solemn reminder of how far you've come in the game thus far... except for the Abyss Watcher's Cinders, which manifests in-game as four skulls wearing their [[NiceHat metal cone head caps]]. It seems so out of place with the tone of the game as to be absurd.
* Nearly all the equipment used by characters from previous games is referred to by some cool title instead of the name of the person they belonged to. The main exception is [[FatBastard Smough's set]], which is named after, well, Smough. You'd think it'd be be named the "Royal Executioner's Set" or something, which sounds far more cooler and dignified. It just comes off as a well-deserved StealthInsult.
* The very first bonfire of the Profaned Capital is in a ruined tower, with the floor of it being covered in ladders. Right next to the bonfire lies the body of [[VideoGame/DarkSoulsII Laddersmith Gilligan]], who gives you a "lying on the floor dead" gesture when you interact with him. It almost looks like he escaped from the Irithyll Dungeons just to die from falling.

* Making various gestures in front of the Firekeeper is either this or heartwarming. She will dance for you if you start clapping, and if you pretend to slump in front of her, she turns her head away as if she's giggling.
* This may sound like a [[NightmareFetishist weird example]] to some, but in the Irithyll Dungeon, there are corpses with items that [[JumpScare will scream a horrifying shriek]] when you pick them up. The funny part is that [[AntiClimax they do nothing]]. As in, their screams do not attract enemies, nor cause damage or even a debuff. You could argue that they were put in for ambiance, but by the [[TrollingCreator fourth time this happens]], most people will be usually screaming "Are you serious?!"
** Oh, the fourth one does something, alright. The last screaming body will make all the jailers patrolling on the ground floor rush into the cell to see what all the racket's about. Bonus points for letting us get used to the ambiance before springing the trap. A more superstitious man would claim [[FourIsDeath that makes sense]], but we all know that FROM just hates us all.
* Also in the Irithyll Dungeon, if you've opened the cell Siegward can be found in but haven't continued his questline that far, then wander back to Irithyll of the Boreal Valley and progress the questline, when you go back to the Dungeon, Siegward will still be sitting there patiently waiting for you to rescue him. They don't close or lock the door after sticking him in it. He's waiting to be rescued ''from an unlocked cell''. Nice going, dude.
* A minor Stance-related one is using the Dancer's Enchanted Swords special move. The Ashen One can pull off her [[ThatOneAttack spinning pirouette move]] until they run out of stamina, at which point they stop spinning and take a moment to wipe their brow. That's right, you can be hauling around the heaviest stuff in the game, but trying some fancy footwork is when the Ashen One gets tired!

* Thanks to how Summoning works, it's possible to have Knight Slayer Tsorig [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2lzZ-8fVsQ fight himself]] in the Smoldering Lake. Unfortunately, Phantom Tsorig doesn't immediately poof out of existence if he wins.

** Referencing a 19th-century invention in this fantasy-medieval world is just so hilariously out of place, you'd think it was a joke, ''until you actually find a Tome.''

* There's a small bit of morbid humor to be found in the design of the [[DemonicSpiders Jailers]]; that branding iron you've become so acquainted with? The branding end appears to be in the shape of a peace sign.

* The item description for 'Rubbish' is just dripping with humor, with the ''game itself'' asking why you're even carrying it around. And naturally, Patches sells it.

* There is something just absurdly hilarious at how out-of-place the living skeletons are in the Catacombs of Carthus. While there are more interesting enemy variants, a good chunk of the enemies you will encounter there are literally just [[DemBones living, unarmored skeletons]]. In a game where a good chunk of RPG tropes are averted, subverted, and played with, it's rather amusing to see such a significant one played so utterly straight.
** Not only that, the creators seem to go out of their way to make skeleton enemies as characterful and silly as possible without making them {{Joke Character}}s, giving them overblown diving sword spin moves, bringing back the infamous wheel skeletons, and having a setpiece that consists of two skeletons in hats that psychically control a pair of ''rampaging clustered balls'' of the skinless bastards that roll up and down stairs on a set path trying to crush anything that gets too close.

* If the Ashen One kills the Giants in the Cathedral of the Deep before Patches tricks them, he'll [[FailedASpotCheck fail to notice]] until the bridge starts to lower. His reaction to this is priceless, as he drops what's likely the closest we'll get to a ClusterFBomb in the Souls Series.

* If you follow Hawkwood's questline, Andre will eventually tell you that he left the shrine, but gives a message from "that crestfallen, Hawkwood." Except that this line sounds remarkably like he's saying "That crestfallen arsehole"
* In the Ringed City DLC, set after the player has returned the Lords to their thrones, the apocalyptic landscape of the Dreg Heap is dotted with messages from Slave Knight Gael. Each one is set at the edge of a long, typically-lethal fall, encouraging the player to jump, as if in reference to [[{{Troll}} the many messages players have left throughout the series to trick others.]]

* ''The Ringed City'' is supposed to be an especially difficult DLC, but the way that difficulty asserts itself is humorous in its brutality, as the first thing you face when you reach the City is face the Ringed City Archers, who attack you ''en masse'' with obscenely powerful volleys that can reach you even when you get to their summoner.

* ‘’[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NQizrXHYPc Dark Souls III in One Hit]]’’ by Inferno Plus is him going through the game as a [[Anime/OnePunchMan caped baldy]], doing his best to [[OneHitKill kill every boss in one hit]].
** The video’s intro is a parody of the [[MemeticMutation memetic]] intro of the ''Manga/BlendS'' anime, instead with Dark Souls III characters.
---> '''Great:''' Smile!
---> '''Fire Keeper:''' Sweet!
---> '''Sister Friede:''' Sister!
---> '''Patches:''' Sadistic!
---> '''Siegward:''' Surprise!
---> '''Andre and the Shrine Handmaid:''' Service!
---> '''Oceiros:''' [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers IGNORANT SLAVES…]]
** Before Wolnir’s boss fight, the game implores him, “DO NOT TOUCH SPOOKY CUP” (the goblet which takes you to the arena). He touches it anyway, [[StuffBlowingUp and it explodes]].
** When he beat Pontiff Sulyvahn, he pointed down at exactly the right moment, because Sulyvahn was taking his last breath and he flopped to the ground dead afterwards.
** Inferno introduces his friends, who, having all used Dragon Stone items, look like [[ThemeNaming skinny deer monsters]].
*** Dæ, the starving deer,
*** Paddy, the malnourished deer,
*** Jelly, the anorexic deer,
*** Touka, the very hungry deer,
*** And Ninja, the synonym deer.
* [[https://mollyjames.tumblr.com/comics Molly James' Dark Souls comics]] is a bit of tragedy and a bit of comedy.
** [[https://mollyjames.tumblr.com/post/162525288410/the-nice-part-about-losing-to-yhorm-repeatedly-was After Yhorm gives his]] MotiveRant, Halply decides to chuck a fireball at him. A strategy she was specifically told by Siegward wouldn't work.
** [[https://mollyjames.tumblr.com/post/167995571040/not-all-of-my-boss-fights-were-the-grim-and Her battle with Aldrich]]. Unlike the main game, Aldrich is quite talkative, and goes on a long spiel about his infinite power and all that jazz. Then he tries to summon his magic... And it doesn't work. There's even a panel of him waving his arms to get it to work. Halply reveals that she brought the Vow of Silence miracle to cancel his magic, and has a fully armored knight to do the heavy lifting.
*** [[https://mollyjames.tumblr.com/post/168032302235/alternative-dialogue-aldrich-is-almost-certainly Don't worry, Molly is well aware that the black sludge is Aldrich]].
-->'''Halply''': '''ALDRICH!''' Your reign of terror ends now!
-->'''Aldrich''': blargssklikkkmkctakcptmataarglessplart
** [[https://mollyjames.tumblr.com/post/170425807410/its-a-pity-boulder-heave-competes-for-the-same Halply plays Rock, Papers, Scissors with a silver knight.]] He chooses scissors - a sword. She chooses rock - Boulder Heave.
** Champion Gundyr's smug and condescending personality.
--->''' Halply:''' Am I boring you?\\
'''Gundyr:''' [[BluntYes Yes.]]

* On the way to the ballista in the Smouldering Lake, you will come across a Black Knight guarding the bridge you need to cross to get above ground to turn it off. If, while fighting the knight, you manage to roll off the bridge into the lava below, you'll get the "My thanks!" gesture for your suicidal effort.

* On the way to the ballista in the Smouldering Lake, you will come across a Black Knight guarding the bridge you need to cross to get above ground to turn it off. If, while fighting the knight, you manage to roll off the bridge into the lava below, you'll get the "My thanks!" gesture for your suicidal effort.

'''Gundyr:''' [[BluntYes Yes.]]

* If the Ashen One kills the Giants in the Cathedral of the Deep before Patches tricks them, he'll [[FailedASpotCheck fail to notice]] until the bridge starts to lower:
-->'''Patches:''' ...What? Where's the bloody giant?!

** The video’s intro is a parody of the [[MemeticMutation memetic]] intro of the [[Manga/BlendS Blend S]] anime, instead with Dark Souls III characters.

---> '''Oceiros:''' [[OneOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers IGNORANT SLAVES…]]

** [[https://mollyjames.tumblr.com/post/170425807410/its-a-pity-boulder-heave-competes-for-the-same Halply plays Rock, Papers, Scissors with a silver knight.]] He choses scissors - a sword. She choses rock - Boulder Heave.

* So you're running at top speed through a swamp strewn with discarded weapons, under fire from a giant archer in a nearby tower. You duck into cover and eventually come across an elevator to reach the top of said tower. Except for some reason [[FunnyBackgroundEvent it's leaving without you]]. There's ''[[{{Beat}} just]]'' enough time for you to figure out what's going on (or [[TrollingCreator curse out the developers]]) before another elevator pops up from below you, carrying none other than [[spoiler:this year's Onion Knight model, [[PluckyComicRelief Siegward]]]]. One can imagine the Ashen One's response to be some variation of "oh, that explains everything."

* Item descriptions are almost always written from an objective, accurate perspective. The [[spoiler:Black Leather]] set, which is worn and sold by [[spoiler:Patches]], [[BlatantLies clearly was not]].

* This may sound like a [[NightmareFetishist weird example]] to some, but in the Irithyll Dungeon, there are [[spoiler:corpses with items that [[JumpScare will scream a horrifying shriek]] when you pick them up]]. The funny part is that [[spoiler:[[AntiClimax they do nothing]]. As in, their screams do not attract enemies, nor cause damage or even a debuff]]. You could argue that they were put in for ambiance, but by the [[spoiler:[[TrollingCreator fourth time this happens]]]], most people will be usually screaming "Are you serious?!"
** Oh, the fourth one does something, alright. The last [[spoiler:screaming body will make all the jailers patrolling on the ground floor rush into the cell to see what all the racket's about]]. Bonus points for letting us get used to the ambiance before springing the trap. A more superstitious man would claim [[FourIsDeath that makes sense]], but we all know that FROM just hates us all.

* Once you arrive in the [[spoiler:Untended Graves]], it's very likely you will find player messages stating "[[MindScrew This]] [[DarkWorld place]] [[OhNoNotAgain again?!]]" You can ''read'' the exasperation in the text.

* While the very fact that Patches was able to steal Siegward's armour and trap him in a well is funny in and of itself, it gets even funnier when you think about it: the well is fairly narrow and it's hard to imagine just how Patches got him down there. Then there's also the fact that he won't come out of the well until you give him his armour, which is odd considering he'd had more freedom of movement outside of his rather sizeable armour. Siegward could get out at any time, but he's naked. He just won't come out because he's ''embarrassed!'' His dialogue even hints at this, as he's more concerned about the armour rather than the well. It's funny to picture that this knight who's brave enough to [[spoiler:fight a Lord of Cinder]] would be so bashful as to hide in a well rather than let anyone see him naked.

* In Irithyll of the Boreal Valley, if you go upstairs from Siegward's location, you'll find a Silver Knight staring intently at a picture on the wall. Get closer and you'll see it's an aged, faded painting of [[spoiler:[[MsFanservice Gwynevere]]]]. Even divine knights need their cheesecake.

* A common player anecdote about the [[spoiler:Soul of Cinder]] is getting to the second phase, [[spoiler:hearing Gwyn's music]], and [[DamnYouMuscleMemory instinctively going for a parry]]. [[SoLastSeason Cue "You Died".]]

* [[spoiler:After you help Lapp find the Purging Monument in the Ringed City DLC, he will point you towards a nearby ledge, saying that there's treasure there (which by itself is hilarious if the player recognizes where that happened before). After you take a look, you guessed it, Lapp, now revealed to be Patches, kicks you off the ledge and leaves after wishing you good luck. After you look around, it turns out to be the right way to proceed. After thinking about it, this makes Patches seem less of a {{Jerkass}} and more of a {{Tsundere}}.]]

*** [[https://mollyjames.tumblr.com/post/168032302235/alternative-dialogue-aldrich-is-almost-certainly Don't worry, Molly is well aware that the black sludge is Aldrich]].

*** And Ninja, the synonym deer.