History Funny / Cracked

* [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/exploring-the-mysteries-of-the-mind-with-the-sims-3/ Exploring the Mysteries of the Mind With Sims 3.]] Seanbaby creates a nightmarish world for one fat, hydrophobic Sim and watches as madness slowly takes over. What really kills it is the final experiment:

** Related to this is when Brockway wrote an article about gun violence and violent video games. One of his rhetorical suggestions was that we as a society ditch Call of Duty and play [[MyGodYouAreSerious the more peaceful game series]], The Sims. Cue everyone in the comments section asking him if he's ever played the game (or at least read Seanbaby's article) and [[VideoGameCrueltyPotential swapping all the different creative ways they've murdered their Sims]] and other characters from supposed non-violent video games (ie, Rollercoaster Tycoon) in ways that Call of Duty could only dream of. As one commentor put it, at least the [=NPCs=] in Call of Duty shoot ''back''.

* Everything, ''everything'', ''''everything'''' written by Creator/{{Seanbaby}}.

* The article "Five Prejudices That Video Games Can't Seem To Get Over" has proven [[TheScrappy unpopular]], due mostly to the author [[EverythingIsRacist over-analyzing everything]] and [[CriticalResearchFailure making factual errors]]. This prompted a hilarious response in the comments:

* [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/if-time-travel-stories-were-way-manlier/ If Time Machines Were Built by Real Men]]. Creator/Seanbaby marks his return by showing us the world of [[AwesomeMcCoolName Rip Hunter... TIME MASTER]]. In an effort to avert a LameComeback to UsefulNotes/GeorgeWashington, Rip repeatedly goes back to avert his mistakes... and ends up breaking time and reality as we know it.

* [[http://www.cracked.com/article_21480_7-famous-artists-you-didnt-know-were-horrible-sellouts.html 7 Pieces of Brain-Rotting Crap Made by Artistic Geinuses]]. Missteps, rare misses, being OnlyInItForTheMoney... but what stands out from the latter is a Rice Krispies jingle written by... ''Music/TheRollingStones''.

* [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_143_if-every-website-got-dramatic-movie-adaptation Cracked's list of posters for possible movies based on websites.]] [[Wiki/TVTropes Guess which site was #1.]]

-->If ships were people, this one would be the kid who ate paste off a stick. [[UpToEleven And then almost killed the president by accident.]]

'''5pikey8lur''': They later found poor [[YouMakeMeSic Even]] stuffing the remains of the banana meatloaf into a dead hobo's mouth, screaming about the [[MultipleReferencePun Second Cumin]]. The autopsy shows the hobo wasn't dead when he started.

-->'''[[LemonyNarrator Seanbaby]]:''' Wow, [[FromBadToWorse I thought they weren't trying before]]. [[BlackComedy I've seen better comedy from real doctors when they explain the abortion options to a]] Creator/DaneCook [[BlackComedy groupie.]] Looks like the writers typed "INT. DAY: A DUDE'S BUTTHOLE" and figured they were done working for the week...[[NotSoDifferent I guess I can respect that.]] At least when [[ItMakesSenseInContext William Shatner spends an entire scene with his hand up an Aryan]] they keep the racist jokes to a minimum. While I'm on the subject, deaf people, [[CrossesTheLineTwice I've always wondered if there are racial slurs in sign language.]] [[RefugeInAudacity Like if you're signing "Filipino," is there a mean way to hold your nose?]] And when deaf people start to get crazy in bed, do they have a safe gesture? [[NoodleIncident Because that would explain why deaf girls]] [[SelfDeprecation always call me for traveling]] [[CasanovaWannabe when shit gets weird.]]

'''Seanbaby''': [[RealityEnsues Flames and explosions hurt]], but not as much as knowing your kid is a pussy. Don't put your parents through that with firework safety, you selfish assholes.\\

* [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-ways-mankind-would-screw-up-lightsabers-everyone/ Five Ways Mankind would Screw Up Lightsabers for Everyone]]. Forcing RealityEnsues on the world's most beloved form of LaserBlade:

* [[http://www.cracked.com/pictofacts-732-26-ways-being-adult-isnt-what-you-thought-it-would-be/ Being an Adult Isn't What You Thought It Would Be]] is pretty morose due to the heavy-handed dose of RealityEnsues because GrowingUpSucks, but there's one entry that's hilariously [[BlackComedy bleak]]...

-->'''[=LegionOfShrooms=]''': Sooooo... I learned two things today. One, my grandparents generation was obsessed with the idea that gelatin works in any recipe ([[RealityEnsues it doesn't]]). Two, apparently most of them served the Old Ones, and they sought to spread madness and chaos through culinary fortitude [[TooSpicyForYogSothoth that would make the great Cthulhu's stomach turn]].\\

'''likalaruku''': My grandma was guilty of this. I've heard horrors stories of "green bean jello," "broccoli jello" "garden salad jello" & "lima bean jello." [[RealityEnsues It also explained why she & my uncle refused to eat anything with a gelatin-like texture]].\\