History Funny / ChickenPika

[[AC:[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZhxKnPXkvw Q&A Announcement]]]]
* In a meta-example, just the fact that he took a normal announcement video, and made the second half of the video into a poop of what was just seen.
* "I'm Kentucky Fried Chicken."
* "My purse, my goat, et cetera."

* "I was born on the 77th of April, [[TakeThat I dismember]] [[FurryFandom furries.]]"

** "I think it's really bad news they don't put [=PayPal=] in our school loos. If you need a blow from Eileen, you have to have change."
** "I've been sent a care package! You know, one of those boxes full of alien penises."
** "I've got eyes. If you see me staring, that's why."
** "Presence. I'm here."
** (AHABHBCHBUHGH) "I done saw a funny noise."

** Michael singing Ashens' opening theme.
** "What a noice."
** "Buy or go and get your partner's favorite candy and give it to her/him as a gift. Warning: this constitutes an offense in Scotland."
** "Before your partner goes to bed, he may have an aneurysm and die. That would probably quite please people, although confuse them."
** "[[TitleDrop A patriotic Canadian sus.]]"

** "Oh goody, it's a [[VisualPun nun]]."
** "Anyway, I shall leave you with this British pub classic trick: if you've got a pint and you don't really want it, stick it up your bum and then offer the pint to the barman and say: ''BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!''"

** "I've got big black dicks in my bum. At the end of the week, I got syphillis."
** "We had a teacher who was so fascist, you had to be poor people in her lessons."

** "My best friend Mart said that we could take rucksacks and ''rucksacks'' and [[{{mondegreen}} rough sex]]..."
** "The [[VideoGame/PokemonXAndY Gogoat]]."

** "[[TitleDrop Mum reads the gas meter]], part twenty-thousand and three quarters."
** "And I broke a [[VisualPun tuigoffitt.]]"
** "Solomon the [=SoS=]... [[SubvertedTrope no, I better not, actually.]]"
** "And Bubbe tells stories that go on for OW!-urs about people she knows who are dead. And at the end of the story, it always seems as if she's been cheating on Zeyde with a man who read the Bible."
** "It was then I noticed the woman in the window. She was sexy. ''Nice.'' The red light's on. '''NICE.''' I put up my hand. 'Yes?' said the whore. 'Queen Julianna is a fat banana!' I mean, 'Suck my fat banana.' Sheesh. She looked horrified. 'I'm just washing the window!'"

** "Mum sits on my big dick. Whoever came went away with a [[Creator/{{cs188}} JoJ]]."
** "CHEESE-cake."
** "In the morning, my dad goes to the bathroom to [[SuicideAsComedy hang himself.]]" (''color bars'') "...my dad goes to the bathroom to masturbate to tentacle hentai. Don't do, don't do, don't do that! Don't pull yourself. Don't cum on the baby! And don't stick fish up his butt!"
** "I got a letter from a girl in America. She said she had won a Christian science competition judged by the Pope. She'd won with a poem that went, 'Down behind the dustbin, I met a dead man called Jesus. He's fucking hot, bitches!'

** "[[TitleDrop A patriotic Canadian sus.]]"

* "When I was 8, I became a [[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic brony]]. Oh, that Rainbow Dash, always knew you were a bit gay."

* "We had a teacher who was so strict, black people weren't allowed in her lessons. She used to stand up front going, 'No niggers!' And there was always a whiny kid going, 'Eh, can I go out and get some purple drank?'"

* "I gave her the Michael Rosen Rape It was… *click* [[SubvertedTrope Wonderful!]]"

* "[[DontExplainTheJoke See, the joke here is that, by not including any visuals,]] your brain [[FreudWasRight interprets what he's saying as unpleasant or sexual]] despite the fact that he's talking about [[ItMakesSenseInContext getting old ketchup out of a bottle]], thus allowing me to let your brain do all the work of making things funny [[SelfDeprecation because I'm a lazy fuck like that]] and have a massively inflated perception of your ability to [[FreezeFrameBonus read things quickly]]."

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PcRAWqVL4EI The Car Tripnotizer]]

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1n8NMM-QqiQ Shashens Chokes on Patriotic Canadian Sus]]

* "[[Franchise/{{Pokemon}} Raichu. Weedle. Combusken.]] Knife. [[GagBoobs Jugs]]. Michael Rosen. Gaben. Presents. Pheasants. Peasants. The Skyfoogle. elgoof{{google}}. Lullullul.

[[AC: [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VPomlhz6EI Barbers, Woodmills, and Sticky Christmas Presents]]]]*

* "I want to tell you about a favorite food- well actually, my favorite food in the world; plums. When I come home, I rush to the fridge and I drink Plum Wonderful." (drinks a bottle of Pom Wonderful with the "Pom" replaced with "Plam") "And everything was plum-derful. No-one cares!"

* "But then Harrybo started being a prick, so I left him in the projects." ("Black people, black people.")

* "I became the MILF inspector. So off went my tongue, around Miss Goodall's jug things."

----

-->'''Plummybo''': Yes.
-->'''Michael''': Really good. I've got the first one.

-->'''Michael''': Make this round fishtank disappear and then kill Harrybo.
-->'''Plummybo''': That's two, you fool.
-->'''Michael''': Okay. [[LoopholeAbuse Make the fishtank and Harrybo disappear.]]
-->'''Plummybo''': Smart ass!
* "It was then I noticed the electronic gorilla in the corner of the room. Plumtastic! I press the silverback. The gorilla starts roaring. Then I said, 'right, Mr. Gorilla—'" (Inspiring gorilla music incoming) ([[FreezeFrameBonus How the fuck do poopers like RobGBA manage to do this regularly? It took me nearly half an hour to get this four second piece of shit right]]) "'You go kill Harrybo's grand-diddle.' The gorilla shoves the door really hard and really fast. And it bangs againandagainandagainandagain until Harrybo's grandfather looked like a great big slimy mush."

* "I dismember furries."

[[AC:[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-MEcPk8Muo The Useless Outing]]]]
* "Right, sex class. I'm Michael Rosen. I think you know me. I'm king of the fucking Vikings. I want complete global domination."
* "[[RagingStiffie Wood]] you believe it? I can see that Fan has opened her can of plums. Do we have plums? No, we have peaches. Jizz." ([[SelfDeprecation Oh my fuck what an amazing, totally original joke! ChickenPika, you've truly outdone yourself this time.]])
*

-->'''Eileen Ogle''': My name is Eileen Ogle and I'm living in a snatch.

-->'''Eileen''': Ha, fuck you!

-->'''Michael''': If you don't stop it, I shall give you dicks.
-->'''Eileen''': Great! I want some dicks.

-->'''Michael''': Look out the window!
-->'''Eileen''': Oh no, this is horri—BOOM
-->'''''SHE FUCKING DIED'''''

* "My brother can speak another language. It's a language that some Jewish pricks speak. It's called Yiddle-Diddle. I don't understand it. So now, my brother, all puffed up, says…" (''starts dancing around'') (Yiddle-Diddle to English translation: "Clear the fluff out from under your bed, you floppy-testicled miscreant.")

* "And I read in a book that the fiercest way to kill someone is with a knife in the back. Well, actually, in the [[RunningGag snatch]]."

* "Teachers sometimes ask me: what's the best way to get laid? First thing to do is to create pleasure stimulation. Feel a penis and stick it up an ass."

[[AC:[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-spF-h33bdAMichael Rosen's Jamaican Rampage]]]]

[[AC:[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRH-8SgsuvwMichael Rosen Is a Horrible Teacher]]]]

* (three Rosens talking at once) "Would you believe it? I can see that Fan has opened her can of drink." (Okay, I'll stop doing that) "I shouted out, 'No drinking in class, bitch.' And then she started crying, so I threw her out the window."

* "We had a teacher who was so strict you weren't allowed to fix a toilet in her lessons. She used to stand up front going, 'No plumbing!' And you had the whiny kid up front going 'meh', and you had the shiny kid up front going 'meh', and you had the tiny kid going 'meh meh meh', and you had the waw going 'Nice.'"

* "She said, "eating people is cruel. Eating people is murder." And so I said, "If you don't shush, I'm gonna eat YOU.""

* [[AC:[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1vHPfbqEYI The Babyslitter]]]]

* "Spots in my [[LastSecondWordSwap Eileen]]. My name is Eileen Oh-shit and I runnur. My name is [[PunnyName Eileen Over]] and my snatch is full of oil! Thick wood in my cooch!"

* The caption "Michael Rosen: Tips for reading bedtime stories" changing to "Tips for making lots of masturbatory hand gestures" for [[FreezeFrameBonus a few frames]].

* "[[Franchise/{{Pokemon}} Raichu. Weedle. Combusken.]] Knife. [[GagBoobs Jugs]]. Michael Rosen. Gaben. Presents. Pheasants. Peasants. The Skyfoogle. Website/{{Google}}."