History FanFic / BecomingFemale

Sypnosis: After Snape makes him drink a potion, Harry falls unconscious. He wakes up in the infirmary to discover that the potion turned him into the perfect female form. He, er, she, suddenly has the hots for [[DracoInLeatherPants Draco Malfoy]] but faces antagonism from [[RonTheDeathEater Ron]], who is sexist.

* CainAndAbel: Ron and Ginny, respectively.

* TheDragon: Lucius Malfoy stops being Voldemort's and becomes Ron Raper's.

* GenderBender: Harry --> Crystal

* GodivaHair: [[NakedPeopleAreFunny Dumbledore]] is given the beard version of this.

* IKEAErotica: Draco and Crystal.

* NakedPeopleAreFunny: Dumbledore.

* StrawFeminist: The author's persona.

* {{Streaking}}: Dumbledore.

* TrollFic: Maybe. The odds are pretty high.
* TyrantTakesTheHelm: Umbridge, then Ron Raper.

* UnusualEuphemism: Pleasure hole. Eurgh.

* WeAllLiveInAmerica: There are quite a lot of references to American culture, especially for a story that takes place in a castle in Scotland. The most egregious is at the talent show, where the buzzers are compared to those on ''Series/AmericasGotTalent'', rather than the ones on its TransatlanticEquivalent, ''Series/BritainsGotTalent''.

* ArsonMurderAndJaywalking: Gilderoy Lockhart (who'd previously gotten a huge dose of AdaptationalHeroism) is posthumously said to be stupid, sexist, and to [[Creator/KennethBranagh not even look like Robert Pattinson]]. The same thing happens to Viktor Krum later.

* BackFromTheDead: Sirius.

* BeautyEqualsGoodness: Gilderoy Lockhart goes from a SmallNameBigEgo DirtyCoward to a dashing hero because he was [[Creator/KennethBranagh allegedly]] played by Creator/RobertPattinson. After the author realized this was not so, Lockhart was posthumously described as evil and sexist. Later, [[Creator/DavidTennant Barty Crouch Jr.]] gets the same treatment.

** That being said, in this world the word "slut" doesn't ''exactly'' mean what it means in ours. One of the so-called sluts is Umbridge, who is so sex-phobic that she '''bans sex'''.

* CompositeCharacter: The author seems to have confused the characters of Gilderoy Lockhart and Cedric Diggory. How ''that'' happened is anyone's guess.
** After Lockhart was revealed to be a bad guy ([[BeautyEqualsGoodness and to not look like]] Creator/RobertPattinson), the author confused Cedric with [[HuskyRusskie Viktor Krum]], and then with [[DracoInLeatherPants Barty Crouch]] [[Creator/DavidTennant Junior]].

* DidNotDoTheBloodyResearch: Near the end of the first story, we’re introduced to a Hogwarts student named Fanny. In Britain, Fanny is considered [[CountryMatters a much more offensive word]] than in America, so using it as a name is unheard of over there.

** Lockhart himself suffers this once the author figures out that Creator/RobertPattinson wasn't his actor. The same thing happens to Viktor Krum for the same reasons.

** Exactly the same happens to Victor Krum, for exactly the same reason. Apparently, '''[[Creator/DavidTennant Barty Crouch]] [[HeelFaceTurn Junior]]''' is the current clone of Pattinson.

* UnexplainedRecovery: Sirius and Ron Raper turn out to be alive after their apparent deaths... because.

* ViewersAreGoldfish: At least every second sentence reminds us that [[StrawMisogynist sexist Ron Raper and his sexist consorts are sexist]]. In the sequel, there is also Uncle Vernon, who is [[ChurchMilitant a Christian fundamentalist.]]

The story pretty much revolves around Crystal's (Harry's female name) attempt to marry Draco, while Ron, ([[RunningGag who is sexist]]), attempts to seduce (and later rape) Crystal. Also, Gilderoy Lockhart inexplicably reappears. After losing control of Malfoy Manor to Lucius (who is also sexist), Draco organises a talent contest to raise money for the wedding. Meanwhile, Ron returns from New York, having changed his name to Ron Raper (did I mention his sexism?). Ultimately, Crystal and Draco get married and Ron Raper is eaten by the giant squid. There was a sequel, called "Being Female" which got deleted.

It can be found [[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5822132/1/Becoming_Female here]]. The sequel is archived [[http://archive.is/D52ms here]].

* ArtisticLicenseChemistry: During the events of Being Female, a barred up window is melted using "the dangerous chemical dihydrogen monoxide". In layman's terms, dihydrogen monoxide means water.

* BackFromTheDead:
** Sirius. Ron Raper also does this in the sequel.
** Umbridge is killed in the first story, but returns in the sequel. She explains that [[VoodooShark it was only a hologram of her that was killed]].

* BananaPeel: Vernon [[DeusExMachina randomly]] slips on one in Being Female, which ends up causing him to land on the TV and die.

* ChurchMilitant: Uncle Vernon in the sequel, to a ridiculous degree.

** From Chapter 26 of ''Being Female'', we get this piece.
---> "HOW DID YOU GET LOOSE, YOU FEMALE GIRLS!" shouted that sexist idiot Ron Raper sexistly in a sexist voice because he was sexist.
** One of the opening lines of Chapter 1 of the sequel reads, "Lucius didn't live there anymore because Draco had epically killed him for being sexist, making him dead and not alive anymore."
*** Just a few lines later, we get:
---->"Hello, I'm a healer," said a healer.
*** "[A]nd I knew he would never be sexist like that sexist idiot Ron Raper who used to be called Ron!"
** From Chapter 2 of "Being Female":
--->"'How about we call him Sunshine Archimedes Malfoy?' I suggested happily while I smiled a lot."
*** " 'Okay!' said Draco and he smiled too with his mouth!"
*** "Then we started to kiss romantically with our lips touching."
*** "Ginny was crying her eyes and it looked like she had been abused by someone abusive."
*** "She was also wearing an ugly pink slutty bikini because she was a slut."

** In the sequel, Arthur Weasley replaces Lucius.

* FamilyUnfriendlyDeath: In ''Being Female'' Ginny makes Theodore Nott's skin fall off, then puts him on fire and laughs as he dies slowly and painfully. That would teach him for being so sexist!

* HeelFaceTurn:
** Bellatrix joins the good side because Ron Raper is sexist.
** Barty Crouch Junior because he (currently) [[BeautyEqualsGoodness looks like]] [[Creator/DavidTennant Robert Pattinson]].

* IronicLastWords: Being Female’s narration outright says as such about Vernon’s last words of "[[WesternAnimation/TheHunchbackOfNotreDameDisney And He shall smite the wicked and plunge them into the fiery pit!]]", stating that Vernon was the wicked one, and ended up dying after said words.

* KatanasAreJustBetter: Vernon has a samurai sword in Being Female, which he attempts to use against Viktor.

* ShotgunWedding: In the sequel Arthur and Molly Weasley plan to force their daughter Ginny into marrying Theodore Nott.

** In Being Female, Umbridge insists that [[KilledOffscreen Cornelius Fudge’s death]] was definitely not murder.
* TakeThat:
** Radio/GlennBeck makes a random appearance in Chapter 16 of ''Being Female'', with Vernon watching his show. He is, of course, described as sexist ([[InsaneTrollLogic after he makes a comment about evolution, which has nothing to do with gender issues]]).
** Also in ''Being Female'', Series/JerseyShore appears as a sexist show which literally dropped Dudley's IQ.
** Also also in ''Being Female'', there is one of the TakeThatAudience kind against one negative reviewer, Jokegirl. She is the star of ''yet another'' sexist show which also dropped Dudley's IQ, and they end up giving her "the lobotomy she needed".
** Ron Raper and Sexist Cooper Advertising seem to be [[TakeThat Take Thats]] against, of all things, ''Series/MadMen''.

--> "HOW DID YOU GET LOOSE, YOU FEMALE GIRLS!" shouted that sexist idiot Ron Raper sexistly in a sexist voice because he was sexist.

* StrawMisogynist: Ron Raper and Lucius Malfoy. Taken UpToEleven.

* VillainDecay: Voldemort gets defeated and locked up in Azkaban offscreen.

* IronicLastWords: Being Female’s narration outright says as such about Vernon’s last words of "[[WesternAnimation/TheHunchbackOfNotreDame And He shall smite the wicked and plunge them into the fiery pit!]]", stating that Vernon was the wicked one, and ended up dying after said words.

* BankruptcyBarrel: Narcissa turns up at Hogwarts wearing a barrel, after Lucius kicks her out of the house. Crystal thinks this is bad because, "[[SkewedPriorities the barrel made her look fat and totally clashed with her skin tone]]." (Because of course even though Harry wasn't raised as a girl, becoming female instantly made him vapid and superficial.)

Sypnosis: After Snape makes him drink a potion, Harry falls unconscious. He wakes up in the infirmary to discover that the potion turned him into [[MarySue the perfect female form]]. He, er, she, suddenly has the hots for [[DracoInLeatherPants Draco Malfoy]] but faces antagonism from [[RonTheDeathEater Ron]], who is sexist.

* {{Chickification}}: Happens to all the female characters, including [[SternTeacher Minerva]] [[ReasonableAuthorityFigure McGonagall]], [[DracoInLeatherPants Bellatrix Lestrange]] and [[GenderBender Harry]]/[[MarySue Crystal Potter]].

* FamousLastWords: Vernon dies in Being Female just after claiming, "[[WesternAnimation/TheHunchbackOfNotreDame And He shall smite the wicked and plunge them into the fiery pit!]]"

* {{MST}}: [[https://web.archive.org/web/20160321132224/http://www.whygodwhy.org/t3236-becoming-female Here]] and also [[http://fictionhunt.com/read/10271875/1 here]].

* HeelFaceTurn: Bellatrix joins the good side because Ron Raper is sexist.
** Barty Crouch Junior because he (currently) [[BeautyEqualsGoodness looks]] like]] [[Creator/DavidTennant Robert Pattinson]].

* ArtisticLicenseChemistry: During the events of Being Female, a barred up window is melted using "the dangerous chemical dihydrogen monoxide". In layman's terms, dihyodrogen monoxide means water.

* BackFromTheDead: Sirius. Ron Raper also does this in the sequel.

* BrokenAesop: The anti-sexist message would be a lot more effective if the characters didn't go around slut-shaming each other willy nilly.

* DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment: Did you know that Ron Raper is sexist?

* NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast: RonTheDeathEater renamed himself "Ron ''Raper'''" because he is sexist.

* RunningGag: Ron being called sexist. It happens 93 times in the story.

** Lockhart discusses how eating a Beauty Flower will make one irresistible to the oppostie sex...not that's he's eaten any, of course.
* TakeThat: Radio/GlennBeck makes a random appearance in Chapter 16 of ''Being Female'', with Vernon watching his show. He is, of course, described as sexist ([[InsaneTrollLogic after he makes a comment about evolution, which has nothing to do with gender issues]]).

** Ron Raper and Sexist Cooper Advertising seem to be [[TakeThat Take Thats]] against, of all things, Series/MadMen.

* UnusualEuphemism: Pleasure hole *shudder*.

* WeAllLiveInAmerica: There are quite a lot of references to American culture, especially for a story that takes place in a castle in Scotland. The most egregious is at the talent show, where the buzzers are compared to those on Series/AmericasGotTalent, rather than the ones on its TransatlanticEquivalent, Series/BritainsGotTalent.

* FamilyUnfriendlyDeath: In ''Being Female'' Ginny makes Theodore Nott's skin fall off, then puts him on fire and laughs as he dies slowly and painfully. [[DesignatedHero That would teach him for being so sexist!]]

** Barty Crouch Junior because he (currently) [[BeautyEqualsGoodness looks]] [[CriticalResearchFailure like]] [[Creator/DavidTennant Robert Pattinson]].

* RousingSpeech: Hermione gives one about how [[CaptainObviousAesop rape is wrong]], so rousing that she wins the talent contest.

* {{Streaking}}: [[{{Squick}} Dumbledore.]]

* WeAllLiveInAmerica: There are quite a lot of references to American culture, especially for a story that takes place in a castle in Scotland. The most egregious is at the talent show, where the buzzers are compared to those on Series/AmericasGotTalent, rather than the ones on it’s TransatlanticEquivalent, Series/BritainsGotTalent.

!!''FanFic/BecomingFemale'' contains examples of:

* ArsonMurderAndJaywalking: Gilderoy Lockhart (who'd previously gotten a huge does of AdaptationalHeroism) is posthumously said to be stupid, sexist, and to [[Creator/KennethBranagh not even look like Robert Pattinson]]. The same thing happens to Viktor Krum later.

* FamousLastWords: Vernon dies in Being Female just after claiming, "[[Disney/TheHunchbackOfNotreDame And He shall smite the wicked and plunge them into the fiery pit!]]"

* BaitAndSwitch: Ginny calls everyone out for celebrating Ron's disappearance, because she's his sister and, thus, [[CainAndAbel should celebrating the most now that he's gone]].

* SuspiciouslySpecificDenial: Crystal's introduces herself as "not Harry Potter".

* DidNotDoTheBloodyResearch: Near the end of the first story, we’re introduced to a Hogwarts student named Fanny. In Britain, Fanny is considered a much more offensive word than in America, so using it as a name is unheard of over there.