History FanFic / AvatarsIIWhenQwaritchTakesRevenge

* CasualInterstellarTravel: Qwarich had not one, but two spaceships on Earth ready to go to Pandora in the time it takes to listen to ''You Could Be Mine''. Especially {{egregious}} seeing as this was {{averted}} in the movie.

** It's also an obvious shout-out to fellow TrollFic ''DoomRepercussionsOfEvil''.

** There's also shoutouts to ''Franchise/MetalGear'', ''VideoGame/SplinterCell'', ''Film/{{Watchmen}}'', ''Film/Terminator2JudgmentDay'' and ''Film/{{Predator}}''. The last one in particular is mentioned in the great lines "they did that handshake like [[Creator/ArnoldSchwarzenegger Arnold]] an [[Franchise/{{Rocky}} Oppollo Creed]] did in The Predator" and "Jak was stealin a machine gun an gunnin down soldiers with a minigun like that black guy on The Predator had that he leveled the jungle with after the Predator killed [[Wrestling/JesseVentura that wrestler]] or something (AN: I havent seen that movie in a while so be easy on me homies ok)"

Needless to say, while ''When Qwaritch Takes Revenge'' isn't nearly as brain-meltingly horrible as something like ''MyImmortal'', it still isn't remotely good. [[SoBadItsGood But that's not to say it isn't entertaining.]]

** Some grammatical errors/bizarre literary devices are also similar to those of MyImmortal (like the usage of long elipses)

** There's also shoutouts to ''Franchise/MetalGear'', ''VideoGame/SplinterCell'', ''Film/{{Watchmen}}'', ''Film/Terminator2JudgmentDay'' and Film/{{Predator}}. The last one in particular is mentioned in the great lines "they did that handshake like [[Creator/ArnoldSchwarzenegger Arnold]] an [[Film/{{Rocky}} Oppollo Creed]] did in The Predator" and "Jak was stealin a machine gun an gunnin down soldiers with a minigun like that black guy on The Predator had that he leveled the jungle with after the Predator killed [[Wrestling/JesseVentura that wrestler]] or something (AN: I havent seen that movie in a while so be easy on me homies ok)"

** There's also shoutouts to ''Franchise/MetalGear'', ''VideoGame/SplinterCell'', ''Film/{{Watchmen}}'', ''Film/Terminator2JudgmentDay'' and Film/{{Predator}}. The last one in particular is mentioned in the great lines "they did that handshake like [[Creator/ArnoldSchwarzenegger Arnold]] an [[Film/{{Rocky}} Oppollo Creed]] did in The Predator" and "Jak was stealin a machine gun an gunnin down soldiers with a minigun like that black guy on The Predator had that he leveled the jungle with after the Predator killed [[JesseVentura that wrestler]] or something (AN: I havent seen that movie in a while so be easy on me homies ok)"

* DontExplainTheJoke: "It was a long flight so he put on You Could Be Mine by Music/GunsNRoses (get it because that song was in [[Terminator2JudgmentDay The Terminator II]] which was also by James Cameron so its an injoke!)"

** There's also shoutouts to ''Franchise/MetalGear'', ''SplinterCell'', ''Film/{{Watchmen}}'', ''Film/Terminator2JudgmentDay'' and Film/{{Predator}}. The last one in particular is mentioned in the great lines "they did that handshake like [[Creator/ArnoldSchwarzenegger Arnold]] an [[Film/{{Rocky}} Oppollo Creed]] did in The Predator" and "Jak was stealin a machine gun an gunnin down soldiers with a minigun like that black guy on The Predator had that he leveled the jungle with after the Predator killed [[JesseVentura that wrestler]] or something (AN: I havent seen that movie in a while so be easy on me homies ok)"

* InstantAwesomeJustAddNinja: One scene sees a ninja "snakin up" on Jak before being shredded by the latter's minigun.

** There's also the name Qwaritch takes when he meets the Navis in his Avatar: [[TenThousandBC D'leah]].

** There's also shoutouts to ''Franchise/MetalGear'', ''SplinterCell'', ''Film/{{Watchmen}}'', ''[[{{Terminator 2}} T2]]'' and Film/{{Predator}}. The last one in particular is mentioned in the great lines "they did that handshake like [[Creator/ArnoldSchwarzenegger Arnold]] an [[Film/{{Rocky}} Oppollo Creed]] did in The Predator" and "Jak was stealin a machine gun an gunnin down soldiers with a minigun like that black guy on The Predator had that he leveled the jungle with after the Predator killed [[JesseVentura that wrestler]] or something (AN: I havent seen that movie in a while so be easy on me homies ok)"

* CombatTentacles: During the final battle, Qwaritch uses his Navi tentacle (the same one used for NaughtyTentacles) to rip off a man's head. For no apparent reason, he likens it to the time he killed a Korean transvestite with his penis.

* NaughtyTentacles: While only implied in ''Film/{{Avatar}}'' that the Navi's ponytail USB things were used for sex, It is entirely canonical in this story.

* {{Defictionalization}}: TerraNova starring StephenLang.

* FridgeHorror: So if the Navis have sex with their "tentacle things", which they also use to tame Pandoran wildlife... doesn't this mean that they're essentially taming the wildlife by raping it into submission?

* {{Narm}}: The whole thing.

* BarbieDollAnatomy: It turns out that "Navis" (and Avatars, as Qwaritch finds out when he [[ADateWithRosiePalms tries to masturbate]]) don't have penises or vaginas, and instead [[NaughtyTentacles use their]] [[FanNickname USB ponytails]] [[NaughtyTentacles for sex.]]

The story used to be split up into 5 parts, but the author has recently deleted the individual entries and put them all together in [[http://hunterjeanmidna.livejournal.com/3301.html a "special edition"]] that includes a new beginning and ending, works in Parker "Selfrige" and Grace Augustine, and adds a list of the characters (with bios, useful if you didn't know that Master Chief is "A robot guy like RoboCop") and pictures from the movie.

* EverythingsWorseWithBears: In Qwaritch's flashback to his time as a Cub Scout.

* IncrediblyLamePun: Qwaritch drops a groaner when his "hoes" arrive and see him in Avatar form.
-->"Hey ladies" said Qwaritch grinnin "Could you lift me up? I'm feelin blue."
** Na'vi "hoes" could be an IncrediblyLamePun...given the comparisons with Native Americans in the original Avatar.

* CrossOver: The protagonists of ''{{Halo}}'' and ''{{Metroid}}'' make appearances.
** The new final battle features [[StarWars AT-AT walkers]].

However, there's action, action, more action, horses "yelling" as they "explode all over the jungle, appearances by "[[{{Halo}} Master Cheef]]" and "[[{{Metroid}} Samus Arin]]" (who is referred to as a male...guess the author never got [[SamusIsAGirl the message]]), and at the end there's a brief foursome with "Neytri".

''Avatars II: When Qwaritch Takes Revenge'' is a fanfic brought to us by "hunterjeanmidna". Acting as a "sequel" to the JamesCameron [[Film/{{Avatar}} film]], the story stars "Kernal" Miles "Qwaritch", the villainous ColonelBadass we all know and love (or hate), and opens with him watching porn in his house in Nevada when he gets a distress call. According to "the dude on the other end", the "NAVIS ARE KILLIN EVERYBODY!". So "Qwarutch" "wants revenge cuz the Navis blew up his spaceship an speared him in his robot" so he gets in his little spaceship and takes off for Pandora while listening to Music/GunsNRoses. "Qwarich" then gets to Pandora and fights the Navis and....well, there's not really much of a plot to speak of.

* YouKnowImBlackRight: Parker Selfrige's "homie" Montana says this almost word-for-word when Selfrige compares Qwaritch joining the Navis to an African-American joining the KKK. Selfrige then changes his analogy to a Jew joining the [[ThoseWackyNazis Nazis]], but it turns out Montana is Jewish as well.

** There's also shoutouts to ''MetalGearSolid'', ''SplinterCell'', ''Film/{{Watchmen}}'', ''[[{{Terminator 2}} T2]]'' and Film/{{Predator}}. The last one in particular is mentioned in the great lines "they did that handshake like [[Creator/ArnoldSchwarzenegger Arnold]] an [[Film/{{Rocky}} Oppollo Creed]] did in The Predator" and "Jak was stealin a machine gun an gunnin down soldiers with a minigun like that black guy on The Predator had that he leveled the jungle with after the Predator killed [[JesseVentura that wrestler]] or something (AN: I havent seen that movie in a while so be easy on me homies ok)"

* DontExplainTheJoke: "It was a long flight so he put on You Could Be Mine by Music/GunsNRoses (get it because that song was in [[{{Terminator}} The Terminator II]] which was also by James Cameron so its an injoke!)"

* ShoutOut: To ''{{District 9}}'', by Qwaritch. The Navis also kill him the same way Koobus was killed in the climax. It's supposedly "poetic justice" because Qwatrich quoted the movie.

** Speaking of the minigun, the scene where he kills a ninja with it seems to have been inspired by [[http://www.doomworld.com/10years/doomcomic/comic.php?page=8 this page]] of the infamous ''{{Doom}}'' comic. "DAAANCE BONE DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADY"

''Avatars II: When Qwaritch Takes Revenge'' is a fanfic brought to us by "hunterjeanmidna". Acting as a "sequel" to the JamesCameron [[{{Film/Avatar}} film]], the story stars "Kernal" Miles "Qwaritch", the villainous ColonelBadass we all know and love (or hate), and opens with him watching porn in his house in Nevada when he gets a distress call. According to "the dude on the other end", the "NAVIS ARE KILLIN EVERYBODY!". So "Qwarutch" "wants revenge cuz the Navis blew up his spaceship an speared him in his robot" so he gets in his little spaceship and takes off for Pandora while listening to Music/GunsNRoses. "Qwarich" then gets to Pandora and fights the Navis and....well, there's not really much of a plot to speak of.

The story used to be split up into 5 parts, but the author has recently deleted the individual entries and put them all together in [[http://hunterjeanmidna.livejournal.com/3301.html a "special edition"]] that includes a new beginning and ending, works in Parker "Selfrige" and Grace Augustine, and adds a list of the characters (with bios, useful if you didn't know that Master Chief is "A robot guy like [[RoboCop RoboCop]]") and pictures from the movie.

* AdaptationDecay: Obviously.
* AlienBlood: The "Navis" have dark blue blood, despite them having red blood in the movie.

* CrazyPrepared: In addition to having two ships prepared for FTL interstellar travel, Qwarich had a pre-grown avatar on Earth with which he could transfer his mind into in case of death.

* {{Defictionalization}}: TerraNova starring StephenLang.

*** And then Qwaritch comes back for his revenge in Book III.

* OutOfCharacter: Nearly everyone. Which makes Grace Augustine coming back all the more shocking, mainly because she's written at least slightly accurately.

** There's also shoutouts to ''MetalGearSolid'', ''SplinterCell'', ''Film/{{Watchmen}}'', ''[[{{Terminator 2}} T2]]'' and Film/{{Predator}}. The last one in particular is mentioned in the great lines "they did that handshake like [[ArnoldSchwarzenegger Arnold]] an [[Film/{{Rocky}} Oppollo Creed]] did in The Predator" and "Jak was stealin a machine gun an gunnin down soldiers with a minigun like that black guy on The Predator had that he leveled the jungle with after the Predator killed [[JesseVentura that wrestler]] or something (AN: I havent seen that movie in a while so be easy on me homies ok)"

** There's also shoutouts to ''MetalGearSolid'', ''SplinterCell'', ''Film/{{Watchmen}}'', ''[[{{Terminator}} T2]]'' and {{Predator}}. The last one in particular is mentioned in the great lines "they did that handshake like [[ArnoldSchwarzenegger Arnold]] an [[Film/{{Rocky}} Oppollo Creed]] did in The Predator" and "Jak was stealin a machine gun an gunnin down soldiers with a minigun like that black guy on The Predator had that he leveled the jungle with after the Predator killed [[JesseVentura that wrestler]] or something (AN: I havent seen that movie in a while so be easy on me homies ok)"

** There's also shoutouts to ''MetalGearSolid'', ''SplinterCell'', ''Film/{{Watchmen}}'', ''[[{{Terminator}} T2]]'' and {{Predator}}. The last one in particular is mentioned in the great lines "they did that handshake like [[ArnoldSchwarzenegger Arnold]] an [[{{Rocky}} Oppollo Creed]] did in The Predator" and "Jak was stealin a machine gun an gunnin down soldiers with a minigun like that black guy on The Predator had that he leveled the jungle with after the Predator killed [[JesseVentura that wrestler]] or something (AN: I havent seen that movie in a while so be easy on me homies ok)"