History Characters / AwfulHospitalTheCafe

* GoodPeopleHaveGoodSex: This trope's inversion may explain why "extra rough discipline" factors into Flair and Joe's relationship.

[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/coffeeshop.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:Thirsty?]]

* TheHypnotoad: Very curious, how Fern felt compelled to empty all her money into The Cafe's tip jar, shortly after drinking that 'free' mocha.

* SurrealSymbolicHeads: He's a barista and his head is an enormous mug full of chocolate mocha.

* SurrealSymbolicHeads: A paper cup full of cheap coffee, and a torc made out of a "caution, hot!" liner.

[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/coffeeshopjay.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:You'd be better off drinking the Neurotoxin than his Blackish Foam.]]

* BlatantLies: She gives Eyeslob a bottle of "safe tea", which contains something that looks an awful lot like Flair as a PuppeteerParasite. His [[Expositron9000 infoid larvus]] quickly confirms that it's hazardous.

[[FOLDERCONTROL]]

--> '''Chip''': s-so... while we're asking q-q-questions.... ww-w-what's it l-like out there in the non c-c-c-cafe z-zones, anyway?
--> '''Fern''': Oh... uh... it's... well... something. It's. Something.
--> '''Chip''': [[SincerityMode W-wow!]] That m-must be p-p-pretty n-neat!

--> '''Commentator''': Ironically he doesn't drink coffee.
--> '''Bogleech''': For him, that would be like drinking human blood, yeah.

--> '''Chip's Memo To Tori''': I KNOW YOU SAID YOU JUST DON'T HAVE ANY DONORS I'D BE INTERESTED IN SWAPPING WITH, BUT I JUST REALLY NEED A BREAK FROM THIS POSITION. I'LL TAKE ANYTHING. I REALLY DON'T CARE.

--> '''Joe''': COME ON, FLAIR, DON'T YOU EVER GET THE URGE TO JUST... ''NNNNNGGGGG''... JUST....' 'CUSTOMERS''.... I DON'T KNOW, JUST, JUST ''RRRRRIP 'EM IN HALF?!''
--> '''Flair''': Well of ''course,'' but it's unfortunately proven... unprofitable. Work before fun, sugar.

--> '''Flair''': I'm so ''terribly'' sorry, miss. Our employee apparently thinks customers want to hear ''its'' problems.

--> '''Joe''': PLEASE CHOKE TO DEATH.
--> '''Flair''': Now, sugarmush, we talked about this. Not until after we have all their money.

--> '''Joe''': WELCOME. TO THE CAFE. I HATE YOU FOR SOME REASON.
--> '''Flair''': Now, Joe, we've talked about this.
--> '''Joe''': Y...YES MA'AM. WELCOME TO THE CAFE. I HATE YOU. FOR SOME REASON. ASK. ABOUT OUR CLUB CARD.
--> '''Flair''': See, was that so hard?

--> '''Joe''': COME ON, FLAIR, DON'T YOU EVER GET THE URGE TO JUST...''NNNNNGGGGG''... JUST.... ''CUSTOMERS''.... I DON'T KNOW, JUST, JUST ''RRRRRIP 'EM IN HALF?!''

--> '''Joe''': FOR A QUASISPIRAL ONLY, EVERY DRINK INCLUDES A COMPLEMENTARY SAMPLE OF OUR BRAND. NEW. HOUSE FLAVOR.

--> ''The only thing you're certain of is that this will never enter your mouth.''

* LethalChef: Joe's Blackish Foam is outright poisonous to EVERYTHING.
** [[spoiler: When Willis soaked the Bandages with Blackish Foam during Team Green's fight with Dr. Man, not only did it corrupt the Bandages' healing ability into a ''harming'' ability, but he eventually [[DeathIsASlapOnTheWrist died from it]]. He still holds a grudge against Fern after being brought back to life.]]
--> [[spoiler: '''Dr. Man''': His previous vessel... turned. He has had no difficulty adjusting to a replacement, as you have done innumerable times yourself, though he found your tactics... distasteful... and has articulated... colorful... opinions of your character.]]

[[/folder]]

[[center: [-[[Characters/AwfulHospital Main Character Index]] | [[Characters/AwfulHospitalTheMotherAndHerSon The Mother And Her Son]] | [[Characters/AwfulHospitalCompanionsOfTheMother Companions Of The Mother]] | [[Characters/AwfulHospitalTheHospitalStaff The Hospital Staff]] | [[Characters/AwfulHospitalTheHospitalPatients The Hospital Patients]] | [[Characters/AwfulHospitalBurgrrIncPersonnel Burgrr Inc. Personnel]] | [[Characters/AwfulHospitalTheAbyss The Abyss]] | [[Characters/AwfulHospitalTheMorgue The Morgue]] | [[Characters/AwfulHospitalTheLibrary The Library]] | '''The Cafe''' | [[Characters/InertSubConceptVesselMG0908BNSKHL3900438093990 Inert Sub-Concept Vessel MG-0908-BN/SK/HL-3900438093990]] | [[Characters/AwfulHospitalTheWorms The Worms]] | [[Characters/AwfulHospitalTheParliament The Parliament]] | [[Characters/AwfulHospitalTheDolphins The Dolphins]] | [[Characters/AwfulHospitalUnaffiliatedEntities Unaffiliated Entities]]]]-]

'''Special Note:''' For tropes relating to the man Joe used to be ''before'' [[spoiler: his Q-36 Procedure,]] please click [[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Characters/AwfulHospitalTheParliament here.]]

SPECIAL NOTE: For tropes relating to Chip ''after'' [[spoiler: his Q-36 Procedure,]] please click [[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Characters/AwfulHospitalTheHospitalStaff here.]]