Reviews: My Immortal
Oh, Mercy! Mercy Upon My Poor Brain Cells!
I have to say that this is the second-worst piece of literature (and I use that word more loosely than a pair of baggy pants) I have ever read. Even with my luck of finding a readable version(Yes, somebody actually made a version that is not chock-full of spelling errors), my poor brain cells were begging me to stop reading. Not only does Ms. Ebony Ravenheart I-don't-care- act like a lovesick female dog, every character who is "goff" (Draco, Harry "Vampire", etc.) is depicted as so, which just makes them all, even Hermione, sound like whiny little brats with a touch of Edward Cullen. Tara, the author of this...thing, reaches Marina's Trench in terms of describing what Ebony Shoot-her-heart is currently wearing. Heck, there are only two positive(?) things I can say about this train-wreck. First, there are many hilarious commentaries of it. Secondly, the ambiguous ending is kinda cool. Lastly, just to say it, I'm surprised Tara could spell "mediocre" correctly, even though it means "average", and she used it in the phrase "mediocre dunces". If you wish to read it, the best way to soften the blow is to read a commentary version or use the patched-up version I mentioned earlier. Though if you're daring (or just plain stupid) enough to read an unadulterated version, remember to stock up on Brain Bleach. You're gonna need it when you're done...
The Epitome of Fail.
My Immortal is a fanfic that is good in it's own right. Failing in every way. This is the king of badfics; the epitome of fail. Filled with one-liners too
A work of art and coherence.
Tara is a truly gifted writer, brining fourth writing no man, woman or demon could possibly imagine. She stands ahead of her pers and will be remembered through history as one of the great writers of her time, her work dominates her genre and she will be remembered like Peter Chimera, Squirrel King or Stephanie Meyer.
WTH..... and I don't mean this as a curse.
Seriously... what have I done *gsps* my eyes are rotting and my sides hurt from laughter! First thing- I'm glad I'm part of the 53% of people who can read words by reading only the first and last letter. even with that super ability *covers eyes* I could barely read the thing. I know it's down from the website now, but there's plenty of copies and reviews on the Net... Which leads me to... Who were the people who actually congratulated her on writing such a fabulous (plz, note the sarcasm)story! Oh wait! I didn't! It was hilarious, but mostly I was wondering (especially in the later chapters) if she was dyslexic. But then again it didn't explain how there were several versions of the same word- like Ebony and Enoby. I'm still not sure which one's the right one. I later found out that even the readable earlier chapters were edited by Raven. And then I sent a round of applause to Raven who could read the script. And then a nod of recognition to the writer, who could actually create the worst fanfic about Harry Potter. Almost EEVERYTHING (and I say almost bc she kept the name Hogwarts) was non canon. And wrongly spelled. Or grammatically incorrect. Or had large holes. Phew. Done with the rant. Anyways, I guess it had one good point. *shrugs*. It was hilarious to read.
WTF did I just read
This is the most horrible thing I've ever read. Its descriptions are bad. Its lack of plot is bad. Heck,everything about it is bad. Plus, the author is a bitch.
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!
This fanfic... just... wow... While people say it is the worst fanfiction ever made, I disagree. This fanfiction, while absolute shit in pretty much every way, was fun as Hell to read. It's grammar so awful, it's plot atrocious, it's characters blander than bread, it's an amazing experience simply by how hilariously awful it is. Simply put, there is so much Narm and so many Out-of-Character Moments, it's a wonder why it hasn't earned a literary prize for sheer awfulness. The plot... well, what plot? There basically is no plot whatsoever. The characters are bland and OOC, but this leads to some hilarious moments, such as Dumbledore exclaiming "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!" Over all, just read it. It's shit, but hilarious shit. I recommend it to anyone who wants a good laugh.
Stupid at face value, accidentally ingenious in retrospect.
The act of reading My Immortal is painful in ways that are hard to explain to anyone who has never experienced it. There are occasional glimmers that might make you feel like it will all be worth it going forward ("VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD" for instance), but ultimately, it can't be enjoyed. You get worn down by things you might have found amusing five chapters in. The appalling spelling, grammar and syntax; the comparatively pornographic level of detail committed to chapter-long descriptions of outfits compared to the lazy, dry excuses for world building elsewhere; the incessant need the author feels to make an appearance in the middle of sentences to explain puns or her crippled understanding of gothic subculture. Everything drags you down, as individual sentences seem to stretch themselves to the lengths of whole chapters. Details fade into a dark, muddled haze as you start to lose order of chaotic events. Instances of enjoyment become rarer and rarer, smaller and smaller. The weight builds and builds, the question of whether you'll make it to the end or give up answered only by your willpower, and no matter how far you go the tunnel never breaks to light. My Immortal is ingenious, because the act of reading My Immortal is actually a meta-commentary on a losing battle with depression.
So Bad, it's Good
This fanfic is so unintentionally hilarious, I nearly spewed my pepsi several times while reading it. Ebony(or Enoby) is such a Mary Sue and her interactions with with Draco, Harry(now called "Vampire") "Dumblydore" and the rest of the characters were very amusing, and the general low quality of this Fan Fic made my stomach hurt from laughing so much. If you are a fan of Harry Potter and need a good laugh, I cannot recommend this enough. Huge "fangz"(geddit?) to Tara for making this.
Bite me, I like it.
I unashamedly and in all seriousness nominate this for the title of best fanfiction ever written. That isn't a joke, and it's not to say that there's no such thing as a good fanfic (in the end there isn't, but that's neither here nor there). But even if I were to combine the qualities of every good fanfic I've ever read into one, it still would not equal the fun I have listening to just one dramatic reading of My Immortal (while I'm at it, allow me to advertise for LRM Reading's Youtube channel; they're hilarious and one of the best). It's not conventionally good, obviously, but it's just so ridiculous how people hate on it and call it the "worst fanfic ever". A real contender for "worst fanfic ever" would have to be one of those abominable, nausea-inducing torture/smutfics that we sometimes hear about, not something like this, which makes you laugh. It's seriously one of the funniest things I've ever read. And when you get right down to it, the terribly undescriptive and bland prose during the sex and action scenes work to its advantage. There are tons of bad fanfics out there, but how many of them can actually be enjoyed like this one? Canon and character defilement? I don't care. The fact that it gets almost everything about Harry Potter wrong is half of its charm. I actually was exposed to this fanfic well before I read any of the books or saw any of the movies - consequentially, I'm a bigger fan of Ebony Way's story than I am of Harry Potter's (not that I don't also like the books). So that's probably why I'm not a part of the canon nerd-rage crowd. I just enjoy it for the imaginative inglorious masterpiece that it is. So yeah.
I love My Immortal. It's perhaps one of the most hilarious fanfics ever conceived, written almost mathematically to piss off Harry Potter fans. Every character is delightfully wrong, many a Fandom Specific Plot is adressed (like Enoby going back in time to "sedouce" Volxemort to make him good), the author and it's characters are so stereotypical that it can't possibly be a real thing... In short, if you can have fun with your fandom and have a nice good laugh, My Immortal is seriously recommended, especially for true fans who will "geddit". If you can't and are a stuck up prep, not recommended.
Actually, My Immortal is one of my favourite stories. HOLD YOUR FIRE!!! I like it because it's SO spectacularly HORRIBLE. I read it whenever I'm feeling bad and need a laugh, or whenever I think how much my story sucks, or whenever I feel like making my eyes bleed. Plus I'm sporking it, so I kinda have to at the moment.
<sarcasm> This is actually the best fanfic ever to be written for Harry Potter. The spelling and grammar is perfect. I could actually sympathize with the characters and the story is well thought out. Its so well written, that I really got the feeling I was experiencing it myself.</sarcasm> Actually the only reason I read this slime was because of the (unintentional) humor it provided. Like professor Lupin masticating on a video, constant deja vu's, a non-threatening Voldemort who speaks like a a combination between a shakespeare story and an SMS message, cameo's from Lord of the Rings and Star Wars and of course Dumblydore, who is so enormously out of character that he acts like a Type III anti hero instead of the nice old man he really is. But even then he is still much more likable than the main character, who gives people the finger just for not being her. When you read this and you actually expect anything good(like consistency, plot or realistic characters) you will be dissapointed. When you read this and expect it to be crap, you will actually laugh about the fact that it is much worse. Recommended only for people who like to see the deepest depths of human creativity.