Pirate AND writer!
I think this exchange is clever:
"That's insulting! I prefer 'investigative historian.' "
edited 17th Jul '12 10:05:33 AM by Mort08
Looking for some stories?
I find dialogue very difficult to write, so one of my best exchanges would probably be this one, which I thought up on the loo of all places.
“Anything worth doing is hard, Lauchlan. Besides, you are hardly the sort of person who attracts violence.”
“I’m not following you”
“ Look at yourself! You’re over six feet tall, you have a barrel chest, shoulders to match and scars all over your face. The first thing that would go through a muggers brain is “oh dear god, I’d better avoid him if I want to see tomorrow” you’re the last person who would be bashed to death in an alley!”
“Am I really that intimidating?”
“Sure you are, physically. But then you open your mouth and the illusion is ruined.”
Cmdr. of His Supremacy's Armed Forces
She enjoyed killing. To torture, and burn, and stab and shoot. She would pin a man down and beat him to death one night and kill off his squadmate the next, after hounding him through the day, watching him cry in terror at the quietest twig snap, at the leaves rustling...
At the pilot light of a warm flamethrower.
Normally, I'm terrible at writing stuff like this. I just like this.
FIMFiction Account MLPMST Page
"Sorry, my finger slipped."
"Sorry, my fist slipped!"
edited 17th Aug '12 1:51:34 AM by PsychoFreaX
Help?.. please...
Pirate AND writer!
"Stay back! I'm a master of ikebana!"
Looking for some stories?
Writer: Tokusatsu 5YrWar
Can I do a entire Scene?
As the heroes backed away for a second round a low rumble rose from Raven’s throat, drawing a cold shiver down their spines. “Is that the best a dozen ‘heroes’ can do?” he laughed as the room grew cold and the cribs of the nursery rose in a deafening wail and then were silent. “let me show you what real power is.”
Colonel Meatshield gasped a moment from the wall where he had been set down against, his voice harsh, “You monster.”
“What?” Nala demanded as a chill ran through her, and the other heroes.
Connie, Way, Burn, and Purple seemed to be the most phased by whatever was happening…each one shuddering a moment along with the Colonel. From the two dozen plus cribs an orb of light rose, hovering a moment in the air before moving with the speed of thunder to spread out and strike each hero. One by one the heroes crumpled to the ground, passing into darkness. The energy lifting from Purple to reveal a girl in spandex not unlike Pink and Burn, though the color was obviously different and where as the helmet visor of Burn and Pink was that of night Purples visor was the color of blood.
“You shouldn’t have done that,” Burn coughed, struggling to remain conscious, his hand trembling as it rose.
“Oh?” Raven said mockingly, choking his head to the side to look at Burn Warden, “Why is that?”
“Because the dead do not like it, and the dead demand retribution.”
Raven laughs, unlike before this is a laugh of joy, oblivious to the small furry hands reaching up from the cribs around him. “Oh? And what are they demanding, exactly? What do I have to fear of the dead?”
There was a click and Burn’s helmet snapped open, clattering to the ground unceremoniously, the face revealed was not even old enough to drink, but the eyes, the eyes sent a chill through the core of Zion. “If you stare into the abyss long enough the Abyss learns all your secrets.”
Raven was paralyzed, unable to break contact with those eyes, he did not understand how or why but he was afraid as well, truly afraid. And then he noticed the children, crawling from the cribs to cling to his body like leaches, this bodies cold like ice, hard as steel and their eyes, their eyes were white and pale, the eyes of the dead.
Burn smirked as he slowly flicked his wrist, “See you in Hell…Corpse Explosion.”
And the darkness took him.
7 friends, a robot, and a spirit, will find a way to protect us...if it kills them.
Pronounced YAK-you-luss
![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
Permission to take some critical knives to that one?
"Yes we both grew up in a world of pain, fear and hatred. But see, unlike you, I belonged..."
Help?.. please...
Writer: Tokusatsu 5YrWar
Sure go ahead
Hilarious injoke
When his abilities were first discovered he was barely old enough to walk and yet was somehow able to file his parents’ tax return. By the time he entered school it didn’t take long for the other students to exploit him for academic purposes. This of course didn’t go unnoticed by the teachers, who soon had Mel grading all of the homework he’d done for the other kids. Once the district got wind of this it resulted with the entire school system, both students and teachers, being composed of Melvin Ponerson.
If you find the text above offensive, don't look at it.
Ded
"The overly complex domino effect we humans affectionately call life"
"Most of the time, however, it was a drive through the cactus patch, on the way across the dangling rope bridge"
If you wanna PM me, send it to my mrsunshinesprinkles account; this one is blorked.
The future of warfare in UC.
"Take care in asking such questions of those who are both intelligent and thorough. They might actually know the answer."
edited 7th Oct '12 1:12:58 AM by Night
Nous restons ici.
Apparition in the Woods
Kiskol looked up at her, dumbfounded. Slowly he spoke...
"...Was it really necessary to climb your ship to make a point?"
"Such a boring kid..." Eva thought to herself as she slid off one of her ship's wings, landing on the ground feetfirst.
Trans Siberian Anarchestra (it/they)
"Well if that's how you boast it would be highly embarrassing for you to fall after the first punch."
Not really the line itself that's great. But what it results in.
Help?.. please...
(The Alpha Bitch has just threatened to ruin the protagonist's reputation for not fawning over her.)
Protag: "Let me tell you where you're wrong. First, you seem to care that they will listen to what you say about me; second, you think I won't retaliate. It's on you now."
(An explosion has just rocked the school. It's traced to a flashbang grenade booby trap in Alpha Bitch's locker.)
Protag: "Hmm, I forgot that the interior of a locker acts as an echo chamber. Oh well."
My Blog | My Steam profileOne of my villains henchmen:
"I guess I'll be having some time to kill. Get it? Time to kill?"
So you get it?
edited 16th Oct '12 10:25:36 PM by PsychoFreaX
Help?.. please...
A first draft, probably needs tweaking, but I'm proud of the general exchange of my sorta-villains Alice, Isaac, and John doing what they do best.
"...and feet, knees and elbows," Isaac cut in. "Ain't a proper beating 'til someone gets an elbow to the face. Or a ghetto stomping."
"...yeah," John said, with a look of weary resignation. "And Alice there really just wants to rip out your intestines and strangle you with them."
Alice cleared her throat. "No, no, that's not what I said at all. Intestines make terrible strangling rope. Too thick to really get a grip on, too easily breakable if you pull too hard, and besides, they usually bleed to death before the strangulation kicks in. No. What I want to do is rip out his stomach and douse his face in its digestive acids."
With a wince of disgust and irritation, John looked back towards the mage. "You see my point."
edited 17th Oct '12 5:01:44 AM by KillerClowns
Dapper Gentleman
"Who are you?" she asked.
"Mr. Westgate," said Mr. Westgate.
"And every life is a special story of its own." —The Stargazer, Mass Effect 3
"He couldn’t move, every muscle focused on holding himself still, like the slightest shock would send him tumbling to the ground, fingers and toes and organs falling in all directions."
www.curiouslylydean.net - comics, writing, and other geeky things
One of my absolute favorites is Leviathan's Establishing Character Moment in one of the books he acts as Big Bad:
TheAccountant entered in the room, startled, despair running across his body as he worried about warning his master of recent events. There he saw Leviathan, a glass of the finest skotch in the land his hand, gazing at the streets below with eyes of arrogance and greed.
"What are you doing?" Asked The Accountant, recovering his breath.
Leviathan's baritone echoed through the room as he answered without taking his eyes from the streets below "Playing chess."
"I see no chessboard." Commented The Accountant, confused.
Leviathan then turned, a smile of arrogance on the side of his wrinkled face "I do."
That thing could be the page quote for The Chessmaster.
"All you Fascists bound to lose."
turning and turning
That's an incredibly arrogant thing to say. If this does epitomise the trope The Chessmaster, it's not because it's such a wonderful piece that gets to the heart of that kind of character with precision and style; it's because, lacking more inventive ideas, you've used tropes to do the literary equivalent of putting together flatpack furniture from IKEA.
I like this exchange because previous to this exchange, the party just assumed Tartagin was extremely studious and knowledgeable in obscure information. It also inspires the team Magician to make continuous attempts to stump him.
“Yes.” She straightened and slipped her arms from Naida and Derrek and took a step away from them.
“I’ve been there a few times, it’s a lovely place,” Tartagin said. “You live in the quarter of coin, correct?”
“Yeah,” Zam said, “The Glemeis manor isn’t the largest house in the Quarter, but it’s nice enough.”
“I don’t recall the building that well. It is painted yellow, with four rows of mettle stone above a brick base. The rest is common granite, with fine carved Maplewood planks.” Tartagin pressed a finger on his chin.
“You don’t remember much? But you remember the details of its materials?” Derrek raised a brow. “Usually the first thing that stands out when I look at a building is its stability. I probably could tell you the materials just from how it stands.”
“Well. I just remember what I see.” Tartagin shrugged. “Maplewood has the most remarkable grain work, very striking.”
Derrek considered the priest’s words. It made sense from a layman’s perspective.
“That’s... pretty detailed,” Hush said, “How’d ya know that stuff Graymer?”
“Oh. I’m going to sc… err… Training to be an Architect,” Derrek said.
“I think you’d love Coulain then. Especially Ms. Glemeis’ neighborhood; it’s a beautiful section of the town, very striking.” Tartagin smiled to himself.
“I don’t even know that much about my own house Tartagin.... that’s a little unsettling,” Zam said.
“Really? It’s the first thing that came to mind when I thought of it.” Tartagin pushed on the center of his glasses.
“Well. In his defense, if you’re fond of a neighborhood there tends to be some consistency among its houses,” Derrek said.
“And... what about my neighbor’s house? The one just down the road past my gardens?” Zam raised a brow.
“A much less striking building if you ask me. Almost entirely made of granite, but the bottom is polished to allow the effect of your house. But it lacks the appeal because of its drab green paint covers the house from top to bottom. It reminds me of ground slightly dead leaves.” Tartagin shrugged casually.
“...and the house past that?” Zam wore a blank expression.
“Similar to that one. But a muddy brick red, lovely woodwork trim makes up for it though,” Tartagin said without pause.
“I ain’t gonna lie, Brogin. That’s creepy as shit,” Hush said with a laugh.
“Is it?” The priest seemed genuinely surprised. “I don’t know how anyone could forget such remarkable buildings.”
Derrek grew quiet; he probably would have remembered the same details. There was the fact that Tartagin didn’t know Zam before they met on the way of the city of water though.
“Tartagin." Shay surprised everyone when she spoke, all eyes went to her. "From the grand library of Geldmoor, down the main road, seven buildings in, on the Son-touched side. What color is the door?”
Tartagin smiled coyly. “Pale blue. It’s a bakery, housing a very talented baker at that.”
All eyes that were fixed on Shay and shifted to Tartagin, then back to the Dendargian woman.
Shay shrugged her shoulders. “That’s correct. His memory is fascinatingly accurate.”
edited 6th Jul '12 6:00:44 AM by Dimanagul
All Heroes die. Some just more than others. http://dimanagul.wordpress.com