I have seen the amateur, and it is me.
Goofus drops the bass in the library at the height of final exam cram sessions.
Gallant never tilts when aiming for the high score on pinball tables.
I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!
Asgore Adopts Noelle
Goofus only plays pinball by tilting.
Gallant always keeps his Mac Afee subscription up-to-date.
Typing the internet since '90
The only protection Goofus can afford is a condom over his computer screen
Gallant knows how to defuse a bomb
Dakota's blog An odd agent of justice
Lovely Legilimens
Goofus plays with it.
Gallant watches only the movies that are appropriate for him.
"I just want what everyone else has, that's all."
Goofus has yet to find a movie inappropriate enough for him.
Gallant always helps his friends when they´re moving.
I have seen the amateur, and it is me.
Goofus steals furniture from the moving truck.
Gallant turns on the burglar alarm before leaving the house.
I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!
Typing the internet since '90
Goofus lives in a box, so all his stuff gets stolen by hobos.
Gallant's anaconda don't want none.
Dakota's blog An odd agent of justice
Goofus is a judgmental prick whose anaconda only wants skinny butts.
Gallant cannot lie about liking big butts.
edited 27th Dec '14 2:51:02 PM by EarlOfSandvich
I now go by Graf von Tirol.
Typing the internet since '90
Goofus does, terribly.
Gallant only reads Shakespearean novels.
Dakota's blog An odd agent of justice
Lovely Legilimens
Goofus reads Fifty Shades of Grey
Gallant makes sure to buy discounted items.
"I just want what everyone else has, that's all."
Goofus steals them. And then resells them at bloated prices. To old ladies.
Gallant recycles.
edited 27th Dec '14 5:53:48 PM by Cappuccino
Shadow of Legends
Goofus litters.
Gallant watches TV shows and movies for the plot.
"We can handle what is true, for we are already living it."
Lovely Legilimens
Goofus watches them for the "plot."
Gallant plays fair and helps out the newbies.
"I just want what everyone else has, that's all."
Fly Air Madeline
![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
Goofus only cares about how many scenes featuring guns there were in a particular show or film.
Goofus beats down newbies without helping them at all and doesn't care.
Gallant only administers Ketamine as a painkiller and antidepressant.
edited 27th Dec '14 6:29:08 PM by lewattoo
"I'll show you all of Paris, I'll take you on a tour, we'll go up and up and up so high they'll long for an encore!"
I have seen the amateur, and it is me.
Goofus takes all kinds of drugs ending in -ine, often without a doctor's prescription.
Gallant reads the f!&%ing manual.
I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!
Spooky Scary Boneheaded Man
Goofus has Outgrown Such Silly Superstitions.
Gallant knows what Willis is talking about.
edited 27th Dec '14 6:54:58 PM by OmegaShadowcry
"The Stick has sentimental value. It's like an enormous, hideous teddy bear we can kill things with." -rikalous
I have seen the amateur, and it is me.
Goofus ate Willie's cat.
Gallant excels in sports without using performance-enhancing drugs.
I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!
Lovely Legilimens
Goofus dopes like Lance Armstrong.
Gallant takes care of the environment.
"I just want what everyone else has, that's all."
82123
Goofus runs a plastics factory with a spotty carbon footprint, and feels no remorse for it.
Gallant always lets his friends have a turn on his PlayStation.
oh, that's why I need this binary mind // ⌘
Typing the internet since '90
Goofus plays with himself while on the Wii U.
Gallant believes in Jesus Christ.
Dakota's blog An odd agent of justice
Goofus consider himself God.
Gallant always leaves generous tip.
Lovely Legilimens
Goofus slaps those who ask for alms.
Gallant takes good care of his Pokemon.
"I just want what everyone else has, that's all."
Goofus is the true mastermind behind all the evil teams in all Pokemon games. All of them.
-obligatory comment about kicking Lillipups-
Gallant always waits in line politely.
edited 28th Dec '14 9:57:16 AM by Cappuccino
I have seen the amateur, and it is me.
Goofus cuts in the express line with 11 items in his cart.
Gallant cleans and secures his guns regularly.
I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!
Goofus is the type of person who says "you wanna go?" and means it.
Gallant always reads silently in the library.
oh, that's why I need this binary mind // ⌘