Corrupt-a-wish.

Granted, but they hate you and try to kill you.

I wish for the posts on this website to be easier to construct (E.G. buttons for bold/italics).

Granted, but you can never post them.

I wish for a knish, of the potato variety.

Ha! The previous corruption for me isn't one at all. Having everyone else be OOC is your standard Ambush Bug comic.

Granted; your kingdom is destroyed in a flood.

I wish I didn't keep suffering for being Older Than They Look.

To understand that, you must understand the wish.

edited 28th Jan '15 10:58:25 AM by Bisected8

Granted. You're Really 700 Years Old, which means you're dead.

I wish I had any idea what your corruption meant, or what it was referring to.

Granted. It offends you.

I wish that I had a potato knish.

Granted. Unfortunately, no one told you that it was poisoned. You spend the next six days in the emergency room and another six weeks in rehab.

I wish I had all of the supplies I needed for both my art classes.

Granted. You get boatloads of paint... that's dried up already.

I wish to know whether or not I am alone.

The Slenderman kills you. (I don't know a lot about that story.)

I wish for a book.

Granted. The world's thickest encyclopedia falls on your head and cracks your skull.

I wish to get back to writing.

Granted. But you then lose your dominant hand in an unfortunate accident related to kitchen cutlery.

I wish to become a meme.

Granted. You force yourself to be the next advice animal.

I wish for healing powers.

Granted: You are currently acquiring them. In med school. And you'll be there for the next eight years. And you have to pay for it yourself.

I wish I could become a duck at will (and still be able to become a human again).

You are a gangrel

I wish I could become the hulk

Granted, but your pants are not indestructible and your genitals do not grow in size.

I wish for the United States of America to use the metric system as its standard for measurement.

Granted. It happens immediately. Cue Damn You, Muscle Memory! causing innacurate measurement disasters.

I wish for the power to control traffic with my mind.

edited 29th Jan '15 4:45:55 AM by TroperNo9001

Granted, but your powers are so far-reaching and your fine control so lacking that every time you use them, you cause massive global gridlock and/or kill tens of thousands.

I wish for my 2014 tax refund to arrive. *dollar-sign eyes*

Granted. The Mafia steals it.

I wish for the Mafia to kill the next poster.

Granted: They use you as their fall guy.

I wish my mind could be transferred to a robotic body, so I can take my revenge on the Mafia, GitS style.

Granted. You are erased when you enter a magnet shot.

I wish that the Mafia would kill the person who posted first on page 203.

Granted. It gets put in the news, and you now have the blood of an innocent person on your hands. No one can see it, but you can't wash the blood off...

I wish for a pack of chewing gum.

Granted, packing packs of your pack of chewing gum is tied to a pack of stampeding animals packing heat and explosives directed at you.

I wish for Franziska von Karma to appreciate me.

Granted. After that, a rock crushes your head.

I wish for rocks to stop killing people.

Granted. Scissors and paper step in to fill the murder-y absence.

I wish... I wish Caprica had been better.

Granted. It was better... than Twilight.

I wish I had a pot in an appropriate size for my pelargonium plant.

Granted. It is useless at holding things, though.

I wish people would stop being complete douches over the internet.