Teenagers Having Sex

So an upcoming project/novel of mine involves a group of 10th graders and their class teacher (European schools have a lead teacher assigned to a single class) playing THE AVENGERS in a world where all myths are true i.e. Urban Fantasy.

Two of my characters are planned to be in a relationship and what initially starts off as a one sided infatuation (from the girl's side no less) becomes mutual attraction.

I want to portray them or at least imply them having sex (thanks to a hilariously entertaining sex education course) but don't want to write them as "lustful" which is a bad way of saying I don't their love life to turn into 50 Shades of Whatever. Going for a more "old school romance" if that makes sense.

So my questions are:

1. The story is for the Young Adult/Hunger Games crowd. So is it acceptable to write two 15+ year olds having sex or is that frowned upon or does it go into Erotica territory?

2. Would you as a reader be interested in a sweet/successful love story that lacks relationship drama? The conflict instead comes from everywhere else including the very real chance of being killed. Their relationship is the one majorly positive thing that keeps them going. Or do these kind of stories not sell and people want angst?

3. What is the general consensus of the Girl being the "aggressor" in the relationship? She comes onto him and is sort of the dominant party of the duo. Is it considered positive?

edited 30th Apr '15 7:45:05 AM by SmokingBun

One or two twists in a story is fine, Shyamlan-esque even. But please don't turn the poor thing into a Twizzler!

1: Age of Consent tends to be around 14 or 15 in many European countries. So as far as plausibility goes, teenagers having sex shouldn't be a problem. Whether people will accept that is an entirely different question that I can't answer.

2: If you've got a bunch of story-tension elsewhere, I'm tempted to say that "no relationship drama" is a good thing. Also, look at the pairing of Zoe and Wash in Firefly — they're happily married, with no drama outside minor disagreements, and it works! So yes: it can be done.

3: I'd be okay with the girl being the "dominant" half of the relationship. What I have an issue with is the idea of either side being an "aggressor" — male or female. To me, that sounds like someone would be abusive, and an abusive relationship would probably kill any "no drama" goals.

Award-winning screenwriter. Directed some movies. Trying to earn a Creator page. I do feedback here.

Why is their having sex important to the story? Assuming that nobody is going to get pregnant, that nobody is going to catch an STD, and that you aren't going to play the "I lost my virginity to a total psycho" card, why do we, in the audience, need to know anything about your character's sex lives?

1: Age of Consent tends to be around 14 or 15 in many European countries. So as far as plausibility goes, teenagers having sex shouldn't be a problem. Whether people will accept that is an entirely different question that I can't answer.

2: If you've got a bunch of story-tension elsewhere, I'm tempted to say that "no relationship drama" is a good thing. Also, look at the pairing of Zoe and Wash in Firefly — they're happily married, with no drama outside minor disagreements, and it works! So yes: it can be done.

3: I'd be okay with the girl being the "dominant" half of the relationship. What I have an issue with is the idea of either side being an "aggressor" — male or female. To me, that sounds like someone would be abusive, and an abusive relationship would probably kill any "no drama" goals.

@Aw Sam Weston

1. Naturally. I'll do my best to keep it tasteful and "magical" Two lovers discovering each other and all, going for a Great Expectations style feel despite being set in modern day

2. Good to know.

3. Agressor shouldn't be taken in a negative sense even though the word is negative. It's more that the boy (call him Jake) saves the girl (call her Cindy) when she's going through a period of severe trauma and suicidal depression. She pined for him and then he goes and saves her life, one she strengthens her will, she becomes protective and sticks to him like glue. Devoted enough that she single handedly helps Jake when he undergoes a period of "darkness" There is no ambiguity, they do love each other.

@Ambar Sonof Deshar

We don't need to see their sex lives but I wanted to portray a degree of physical intimacy between the two. In addition they have to hide it because other people including parents & friends may take issue of with them fooling around including concerns that they're too young for this stuff. However, I won't be writing Mills & Boon type erotica here. They get inspired by the sex education class that is forced onto them since their Teacher tries to actually educate them and it's not a case of "scare them straight"

Or is all this giving people the wrong idea?

edited 30th Apr '15 9:01:55 AM by SmokingBun

One or two twists in a story is fine, Shyamlan-esque even. But please don't turn the poor thing into a Twizzler!

The important point is that any scene you write, romantic or otherwise, should support their development as characters. If their relationship gives them the motivation to be the kind of people they are, then it's relevant. Another example is Haley and Elan from "The Order of the Stick" webcomic. They have a perfectly successful drama-free relationship even as both characters undergo significant change as people.

@De Marquis

Point noted. The character's are each other's rocks on which they support each other and as said their relationship is way to get away from the monsters & magic craziness that pervades their lives.

I do plan on having it play into their development, Cindy especially in fact goes from a shy, shrinking violet to someone who can stand on her own and defend herself. Jake on the other hand comes out of his shell and opens up to Cindy and everyone else by proxy.

If it seems too happy it's not, they earn it.

One or two twists in a story is fine, Shyamlan-esque even. But please don't turn the poor thing into a Twizzler!

Take That!, sitcoms!

edited 30th Apr '15 9:53:43 AM by Demetrios

I like to keep my audience riveted.

Teens have sex regardless of age of consent. It's very common for teens to start having sex at sixteen or seventeen, so fifteen might be considered a little early for some, but not that much.

In Hunting the Unicorn, it's a character-driving point that one of my characters is WAY too idealistic. The problem isn't that he had sex at sixteen, it's that he tried to invoke Sex Equals Love with an older guy, which is a disaster on your emotions, especially at that age. Therefore, he has a Paralyzing Fear of Sexuality as consequence.

His friends, on the other hand, are much better adjusted regarding sex. Some of them are confirmed to have sex, others probably don't have sex, but more importantly is that they aren't as terrified about it as the main character.

I will repeat—if the characters having sex is important to the plot, that's one thing. If it's not, I see little reason why it needs to be shown, be it explicitly or implicitly. This may just be a personal taste thing on my part, but if the main "save the world" plot is interesting and well-written, then I'm not liable to be that interested in whether the characters have actually consummated their relationship.

I would recommend against writing actual sex scenes, by the way, for two reasons. For one, your teenage characters will be underage somewhere, and even if they're legal, it can still be squicky. Secondly, unless you're very good at them, it's easy for sex scenes to fall into Ikea Erotica, which will kill any momentum you are aiming for. If you can't write it well, and write it tastefully, I'd suggest keeping it offscreen.

EDIT: Just saw what you added above. If you're going to do the whole "parents don't want them having sex" plotline, be very careful with it. If you make even a slight misstep, you run a decent chance of some, or even all of your audience agreeing with mom and dad. Conversely, go too far in the other direction, and the parents end up less as characters, and more as plot devices, impediments to the romance.

edited 30th Apr '15 7:41:54 PM by AmbarSonofDeshar

Personally I'm in favor of Fade to Black when it comes to sex scenes - once the clothes start coming off, it's time to skip to the next scene, because rarely is the actual sex important to the plot. You certainly can write the sex out if you want, but expect to have Moral Guardian readers blast you for it. As was noted, it's a little young but not rare, and it can be done believably.

Now, the idea of them actually using the sex education they received is funny, but you don't need to do that in a sex scene, you can have them discussing things beforehand, or in a situation where they want to but can't rigt now, or go a little more action/comedy and have them discussing tips while mid-combat (with the bonus of distracting their enemies).

That’s the epitome of privilege right there, not considering armed nazis a threat to your life. - Silasw

"Hey, remember the slide with the Chinese vase in Sex Ed today? I was thinking we could try some of the positions tonight."

[distracted mook slices off his own kneecap with his machete]

I've actually considered writing a sex scene or two between teenagers, but I'm honestly kinda nervous about it because, even though Florida has close in age exemptions for 16 and 17 year olds, I don't trust websites to hold up to that.

But on topic, if you can, write the sex scene as something that, say, "emboldens them. Have it as something that pushes them into becoming more assertive and firm about themselves, as Character Development.

In RWBY, every girl is Best Girl.

Heh, I like how this thread has morphed into the writing of actual sex scenes, which is not what the OP was asking. How do you write good sex scenes, and does the age of the participants make any difference to how you write it?

Oh, fine, I'll answer the actual questions. Yes. Like I said before, expect any Moral Guardian to flame you for writing it, because they're under 18. But don't think you can't write it, because there's plenty of stories out there, even in classical literature, with underage participants. IMO, any explicit sex scene does go into Erotica territory, but that's not automatically a bad thing.

I find it hard to believe that there would be zero drama between them, but by all means dispose of standard movie/sitcom "drama" BS. The very fact that they're fighting for their lives is still going to put some strain on their relationship; I forget the trope but maybe one of them wants to get laid right after a fight while the other wants nothing more than a long nap.

I think that depends on how it's portrayed. Certainly I have no problems with it, my wife can be quite demanding sometimes. It's also something that could be used to Lampshade or defy typical relationship tropes.

The only sex scenes I write are the ones I dream about, and the few I write out I only show to the people involved.

That’s the epitome of privilege right there, not considering armed nazis a threat to your life. - Silasw

I'ts acceptable to write anything. It's the presentation of it that is far more important. There will be people who frown upon it. Depending on how you write it with more or less justification. If it's erotica also depends on how you present the scene. It could be comedic in nature instead, for example.

I prefer sweet/successful love actually. Not that they can't have disagreements of course, just like any other relationships such as friends or family. But constant relationship drama is annoying, distracting and unrealistic.

It's positive as long as both parties like it that way and are shown to have agency in the relationship.

@Sharysa

Well obviously no laws are going to stop hormonal teens from doing what they do best. My protagonists are fairly well adjusted although the girl, Cindy undergoes physical trauma and loses her sight which after the initial horror wears off makes her feel lonely and alone.

So she craves the touch of someone and be able to touch someone she cares for since she can no longer see them. Jake is the one who ends up helping Cindy adapt partly because he was ordered too by the class Teacher since she knows Cindy has a huge crush on Jake and would be comfortable with being lead around by him.

Does this make sense?

@Ambar Son Of Deshar

Well naturally, but I wanted any lull in the action that involves Cindy & Jake to have a romantic feel to it. Not all pauses need to be like that which I understand and also realize that it would get boring if the book has like two modes i.e. Avengers style destruction OR Cindy & Jake making goo goo eyes at each other.

I don't really plan on write full on sex scenes and yes it can get into squick territory but like I said, I have no intention of turning this into Mills & Boon style erotica. One scene in particular I wanted to write was, in a private moment Cindy takes off her clothes in front of Jake and asks him what he thinks. Jake gets a bit frightened and tries to give safe answers. Eventually Cindy persuades Jake to show himself too out of fairness and feels his skin. They sort of stroke each other but Jake stops it before it goes too far.

Cindy is relieved that that they did stop despite knowing how to keep it "safe". She's also relieved that Jake didn't try to take advantage of her since that is something others warned her could happen, "don't get too comfortable around him, he seems weird" is basically what one friend told her.

The whole "parents found out! oh no!" was really more of an assumption. Jake's (single) mom tries to be "cool, hip and modern" to a fault (which is portrayed with flaws and not perfect), she suspects that something is going on and essentially warns Jake to be super careful even if "nothing" is all he does with Cindy. Cindy's parents are devout catholic but they're abroad and don't know anything. The Nick Fury of the group, the class teacher finds out too and basically counsels them though she prefers they didn't engage in such business at all, since they have other dangerous problems to deal with.

Cindy trusts Jake though, she knows better and the "scene" mentioned above occurs fairly late in the story after the two have been through hell while watching each other's back. It's an earned moment and not something that would make either look reckless or foolish.

Any actual hanky-panky or sex is kept vague and up to the reader to interpret. Also, I'm unsure if all this seems too "sugary" or "perfect" since as mentioned before, everything besides their romance tends to go wrong. The sex education class ends up ensuring they don't screw up and ruin their lives.

@Blue Ninja 0

Fade to black is my plan, moments of intimacy and "foreplay" like the example above will be shown but no actual thrusting will be describes especially since I doubt I could write it properly.

Though the "sex ed" class ends up being a highlight of the year, they don't really discuss it that openly. The class itself happens to be something due to a government mandate to curb teenage pregnancies and the like but the content is so awful and "scare them straight" type that the class teacher throws it out and offers them actual advice and educates them. It's a genuine learning experience although the fallout is that there is a somewhat heated PTA meting where some parents raise an issue about whether school is the right place for discussing such things.

Haters will hate. Moral Guardians will shout no matter what. I'll live with it. It's funny though, not like I'm writing about something "unnatural" or doesn't happen in the real world but what can you do. But again, no plans for detailed descriptions or Game of Thrones style fat pink past/myrish swamp metaphors. Yes, those are from the books.

Good point about the fight putting a strain on the relationship. Though honestly at that stage neither character is the type to demand sex, cuddle perhaps or cry-into-shoulder or sleep-cute.

Cindy being the one to take charge will definitely be shown in a positive light, Jake's kind of a coward while Cindy sort lost her true sense of fear after her "accident." No she's not Daredevil.

@Serocco

That's the plan. It's cathartic for both and they get a huge confidence boost.

edited 1st May '15 9:00:13 AM by SmokingBun

One or two twists in a story is fine, Shyamlan-esque even. But please don't turn the poor thing into a Twizzler!

@Antiteilchen

1. I'll do my best to justify it and write something tasteful. As mentioned before I want any scenes to feel romantic, almost in the vein of Great Expectations though I shouldn't compare. Not going for comedy, sweet. Then again a little comedy would lighten the mood but no plans to turn this into Seinfeld

2. Good to know.

3. That is definitely the case. If Jake doesn't like her pushing him, she backs away. Although some may interpret in a wrong way assuming Jake is whipped or henpecked or whatever. I suppose it's my job to ensure that doesn't happen.

One or two twists in a story is fine, Shyamlan-esque even. But please don't turn the poor thing into a Twizzler!

That makes perfect sense. Humans are HUGELY reliant on vision, so when that's gone, you naturally start relying on the other four senses to get your bearings—touch is the most instinctive one. And with her vulnerable state, she'd naturally start to gravitate towards something that enables physical and/or emotional closeness, like sex.

As for potential readers thinking a dude is "whipped" because he feels like she's going too far, I say go ahead and let her respect his boundaries. Guys can be insecure or not ready for sex as much as girls.

Of course, he'd probably get very conflicted because he might know that she's not intending to push him because she's horny, but because she feels isolated and desires connection, and then we've got "she's doing this for the wrong reason" or "I don't feel ready for this" grappling with "yay sex," and that's always messy.

edited 1st May '15 9:52:39 AM by Sharysa

Smoking Bun, all that sounds perfectly fine to me. In fact, I am sufficiently intrigued by the mutual touching scene that I wouldn't mind reading it once you're done. I cant speak for anyone else, but I dont see anything particularly objectionable about it. I mean, after all, you're depicting two teens acting responsibly and mature.

Um ... quite frankly that adds a whole level of creepy to it for me. I don't think any of my teenage relationships would have worked out with a teacher pushing us together. Is the teach supposed to be a Shipper on Deck? Yeah ... that makes it sound even more creepy. You don't "earn" sex. "Well, if you don't want to teach them this at home, I will teach it to them at school, whether you like it or not." Or, to really zing on the parents, "Your son wears a super suit! He clearly knows more about wearing protection than your husband does!" I recall being 15 ... if a girl got naked and invited me to touch her, I wouldn't have been stopping there.

Actually, it reminds me of the scene in Sword Art Online, if you've seen that?^note Guy recommends that they sleep together, meaning sleep, because he's worried about getting attacked; girl promptly strips naked, thinking he meant sex, and when he hesitates says something like, "We've already gone this far, why stop now?"

To be fair, he's just as capable of misreading her intentions, too - there's no reason she can't be feeling isolated and horny and wanting to have a relationship with her crush. (Does he know she has a crush on him at this point?) So would I! That's what's objectionable about it! They're being all responsible!

edited 1st May '15 9:12:51 PM by BlueNinja0

That’s the epitome of privilege right there, not considering armed nazis a threat to your life. - Silasw

Yep, should have made my meaning clearer that she can feel all three of those things and that shit gets overwhelming for a lot of teens.

Also, I didn't catch the teacher part and it just feels contrived to me even though I'm not getting creepster vibes like another troper is. It's one thing for a friend/family member to be Shipper on Deck for their young companions, but unless that teacher is very close to one of the pair, it could very well end up hackneyed instead of sweet. We'd all see it coming, and in the eye-rolling "eww, this is a True Love moment, isn't it?" way.

Just cut the teacher shipping them and you'll avoid both potential creepster vibes AND potential eye-rolling.

edited 2nd May '15 1:21:34 AM by Sharysa

About the Class Teacher (let's call her Josie), it's not really case of Shipper on Deck. What happens is that the kids are part of what is called the Occult Sciences Club where they research the supernatural as a way to earn extra credit. Jake is made to steal a forbidden book of sorts and the Club accidentally summons a monster. Jake basically turns tail and runs as fast as he can, Cindy begs him to help but he's long gone and falls victim to the monster only to be saved by Josie (who finds Jake screaming his head off.) This is also the first time the Club finds out that their class teacher has powers.

Jake is guilt ridden and crushed at his own cowardice, to twist the knife further even Cindy who's normally polite and nice (mind you she's bitter and depressed) says "That's it's okay to be coward, just make sure everyone knows so that no one expects anything from him ever again." So Josie and Jake have a talk and the former decides that the best way to atone would be for Jake to act as the now-blind Cindy's helper, guide her through school etc. The love that blossoms is a happen-stance, not something planned.

Sex is not earned, the private moment between them is earned/justified. What I meant is that late in their relationship Cindy trusts Jake enough to expose herself to him without fearing that he make take advantage or exploit her. Cindy tells Jake she wants to touch his bare skin and after that she lets him touch her out of fairness. Jake for the first time feels comfortable around someone else and they sort of sleep into each others arms. They're not exactly, "OMG! SO HOT! LETS BONE!" kind of people.

Josie is pretty snarky and does indeed snark her way through the PTA much to the Principal's chagrin but the parents reach a grudging understanding that the faculty didn't exactly do anything wrong though some of them request a warning before hand so that they can remove their children from class that day.

Jake is a horny teen but after his screw ups he's constantly walking on egg-shells especially around Cindy. He just wants to enjoy being loved and is content with it not going beyond a certain point. Even Cindy gets nervous and doesn't egg him on or anything.

Jake is well aware Cindy has a honest to god NOTICE ME SENPAI!! grade crush on him but he lacks self esteem and is all, "Why a loser like me?" The attraction is mostly physical (Jake is fairly handsome) though Cindy has an attraction towards "mouse-like guys". She enjoys the feeling of power but tries to bring him up to her level rather than keep him down.

I suppose Responsible Teens sound like an oxymoron to some. It's all about upbringing.

Should I still cut the Teacher's involvement? Jake wants to atone and Josie gives him a way. Although I will note that Josie claims responsibility too and has Cindy moved from a Paying-Guest/Hostel kind of deal to her own house. Or is that too much and her parents would have hired someone else?

EDIT:

One more thing. The Club kids get powers based on various religions/mythologies. Jake gets Buddhism which involves meditation and letting go of material desires. In exchange he gets Chi powers (Iron Fist/Dragonball style) with the caveat that he should use his powers purely for defense and protection, never for offense or retaliation. If he gets hit, only then is he allowed to strike back. Else he loses his abilities. He adopts a sort of pseudo-Shaolin lifestyle which keeps his hormones in check. I.E. Justification of why he's not a total horn-dog even in the presence of a naked woman (which if you know Buddhism is a reference to a story about Siddhartha Gautama.). I realize this is an unnecessarily complicated justification of why Jake doesn't bone Cindy whenever he gets the chance.

edited 2nd May '15 2:47:27 AM by SmokingBun

One or two twists in a story is fine, Shyamlan-esque even. But please don't turn the poor thing into a Twizzler!

Just make it clear that the teacher is not involved in any sort of shipping and she's only encouraging them to work together and it's them who took it further, and you should be fine.

But really make it clear. If it can be implied otherwise from the teacher's behaviour and what is not being said and/or done, it does not count.

Not like the whole "age of consent" thing and all the related "moral guardianship" isn't something that shouldn't be inserted into all of their collective ... bottoms anyway, but some people will get stupid and annoying if there's an adult person that might be involved in romance between teenagers who are at least a few years younger. And while that doesn't sound all that bad to me (seen worse, felt worse, although not necessarily worse worse, more like "more noticeable" "supposedly-worse-because-it's-noticeable") for as long as the teenagers are responsible about it, some people are hypocritical and forceful prudes and will think otherwise.

@Kazeto

I always appreciate your input. Yes, the Teacher is more, "You broke it, you fix it" in terms of her intentions as opposed too, ""Tee Hee! I'm gonna make my students sex!"

One or two twists in a story is fine, Shyamlan-esque even. But please don't turn the poor thing into a Twizzler!

My complaint here is that there isn't "that kind of people". Being naked, horny, and teenage is by itself enough that if they had sex right there it wouldn't surprise me. Honestly I'd be more surprised that they didn't, no matter how responsible they are^note or think they are, which is more likely My problem isn't the teacher suggesting he help her to atone for his mistake, it's the implication that she's doing it because she knows about Cindy's crush. That is what makes it seem creepy to me.

That’s the epitome of privilege right there, not considering armed nazis a threat to your life. - Silasw