Destroy the quest.

It's not everyday somebody wants to become an emoticon.

I am here to ignore common sense and die skydiving into a volcano!

Then why did you move to Wisconsin?

I'm here to purchase your restaurant and turn it into a massive, multi-national franchise!

edited 8th Sep '14 1:47:23 PM by DingoWalley1

You're here to purchase a Mc Donalds?

I have the mayor's MacGuffin, he has my sister's diary. I'm here to trade them for each other.

The mayor has a backup MacGuffin, and he never had your sister's diary.

I'm off to write a story that will make teenage girls cry!

It's already been done, and it's called Twilight.

I am here to survive 5 nights as a security guard of Freddy Fazbear's Pizzaria!

I'm sorry, but Freddy Fazbear's Pizza has already closed down shortly after the previous guard's firing.

I'm here to solve global warming!

edited 8th Sep '14 7:17:32 PM by ironcommando

It's Global Cooling. Get it right.

I'm here to kill the Hamburgerler

Oh, you mean him? *points to dead body*

I will stop at nothing to create the largest pizza ever.

Dominos arrives at your door with an order for "World's Largest Pizza".

I'm going to play video games all summer long!

You only have games like Drake Of The 99 Dragons, Superman 64, Big Rigs Over The Road Racing and Ride To Hell Retribution.

I am here to spout out that Justin Bieber sucks despite most of the world knowing that.

edited 8th Sep '14 11:00:32 PM by AxMachina

Justin Bieber puts out an album which is universally praised, and continues to put out stellar records for the rest of his career.

I will destroy all airplanes in order to prevent air travel from destroying the environment.

Granted, teleporters are invented in their place which costs much more electricity and hence requires more environmental destruction to function.

I wish fully functioning (that means no teleporter accidents or incorrect destinations) eco-friendly teleporters were invented and that I could use them!

Granted, but nobody else likes them and the company that manufactures them runs out of business shortly.

I wish to discover the truth hidden by the corrupted government!

Wrong bloody thread!

I am here to differentiate this from Corrupt-A-Wish!

It's not that hard. You can use the effort in other more useful ways.

I'm here to exterminate that pesky Time Machine people keep using to go kill Hitler with. It's causing more trouble than leaving the idiot alive.

Sorry, but the "time machine" (one of Calvin's cardboard boxes) has already been recycled.

I'm here to make a Candy Crush Saga clone without any exploitative microtransactions.

edited 10th Sep '14 1:05:21 AM by MathsAngelicVersion

You mean the one that you created, which is incredibly buggy and low optimized?

I am here to tell everyone that this isn't bloody Corrupt-A-Wish!

William Radar Storm has pretty much said that this isn't Corrupt-A-Wish. Your quest is redundant.

I art here to speaketh Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe.^note I know it should be "I am here to speak". The grammatical errors are intentional.

edited 10th Sep '14 2:40:27 AM by MathsAngelicVersion

You get bitchslapped and hit over the head with a dictionary. When you wake up from the Tap on the Head, you realize to your dismay that you can't speak in any other way than Sublime Rhyme (Every Time) or Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness.

I am off to learn magic at the finest wizarding school in the world!

edited 10th Sep '14 2:28:29 AM by MicoolTNT

You mean the wizarding school that's full of hormonal teenagers with Reality Warping powers?

I'm here to teach people how to use "its" and "it's" (in normal, modern English, of course).

edited 10th Sep '14 2:44:56 AM by MathsAngelicVersion

Look, honestly, its a lost cause at this point.

I am here to whip someone with a rose stem.

edited 10th Sep '14 11:50:07 AM by Surt

That's how you declare war on this planet.

I am here to flower the king with gifts I have purchased.

We're a democratic republic.

I am here to ask the queen's daughter's hand in marriage.

Still worth it, I was mostly after the money.

edited 17th Sep '14 12:49:16 AM by MicoolTNT

The royal family's functions are mainly ceremonial and monarchy will be abolished soon, so why bother?
When it was discovered how much the queen was spending on expensive shoes, the funding to the royal family was greatly reduced.

I am here to prevent Bowser from kidnapping Princess Peach.

edited 17th Sep '14 7:15:24 AM by MathsAngelicVersion

He just came over to go go-carting this time...

I am here to eat some food.