Push the button?

Real life walking dead? PRESS!

You are the last man on Earth after an outbreak of a man-made virus.

BUT

You get a talking magical companion through it all in the middle.

It would still get very boring, very fast. Pass.

You gain immediate and permanent mastery over any musical instrument of your choice. Everyone who hears you play it shall enjoy it.

BUT

You can no longer wear any clothing and must remain naked for the rest of your life.

I'm okay with that. They'll be too busy dancing to stare at my huge cock. <press>

You are now an assassin. You will be paid $1,000 per hour on the job, and you won't need to pay taxes after your first kill.

BUT

Your target is your waifu/husbanru of your favorite anime/cartoon/movie/book series who has entered the real world. If you refuse, you will be killed.

edited 13th May '15 7:24:43 AM by NegaKingKix

Doesn't seem worth it if you ask me. Pass.

It's now extremely easy for you to get off of TV Tropes so you can do something else.

BUT

You will now unexpectedly transform into my current avatar (Reshiram) without warning at any moment for 2 hours at a time.

Done.<press>

You gain laser vision

But

You are now near-sited.

I'm already nearsighted, so it doesn't matter. -presses-

You have your own Robot Buddy

BUT

The First Law of Robotics is applied ONLY to you.

It still obeys me and will never kill me or rebel against me, I press it (Besides, I can kill people with it).

Any disease/disability you have or will have in your life is cured/repaired

BUT

You turn into a Poisonous Person

edited 19th May '15 5:02:57 PM by DeisTheAlcano

Yeah, sure. Other people can go fuck themselves.

Here's a button.

You get to become a godlike being

BUT

You have to destroy at least one populated planet every day, or you will starve to death.

Provided I will not run of of planets I joyously accept. I would hope that as a godlike being I could create the planets I need? Populations included if the are necessary?

You cannot be killed by any injury or illness.
However;
If you even touch an emerald you are immediately slain and even being close to one will make you fall extremely ill for several weeks. If you are close to one for too long it will kill you.

edited 19th May '15 5:14:24 PM by Laithelryn

Where will I ever come in contact with an emerald? -presses that button-

You will look like a Greek Adonis to your lover...

...but...

...to everyone else, you look like a walking tumor.

Deadpool costume = FIXED! -presses-

You get to travel the entire world

BUT

You do so while under all The Oregon Trail illnesses. In a covered wagon. Without modern medicine.

edited 19th May '15 5:52:49 PM by EarlOfSandvich

Nope.

You'll instantly get the job of your dreams

BUT

No time for leisure.

If it extends to jobs which would normally be impossible for me to attain, such as sovereign of the world I will accept the arrangement it but if it does not I will not consent to this.

You can remold you body at will.
However;
You become very weak willed.

edited 27th May '15 4:29:31 AM by Laithelryn

Tempting but no.

You can date as many men/women as you want, and they won't get jealous if you put them in a harem.

BUT

You must fight an evil-ex/world devouring God every week.

Fight the equivalent of Galactus every week to get a chance at a polygamous relationship? NOPE!

You gain time travel abilities

BUT

You Already Changed the Past is on full effect, that means you cannot actually change anything

edited 27th May '15 3:25:52 PM by DeisTheAlcano

That means I won't screw up the past to alter my present. Sure.

You gain a force field that protects you from harm of all sorts

BUT

It also blocks out women.

Press! I'd be to free to explore wherever and whenever I want without causing any time travel paradoxes.

No thanks.

You get to have your own story with you as the main character in an awesome adventure filled with magic and weapons of all kinds, including firearms. You will also live to see the ending.

BUT

You are The Unchosen One; it's actually your job to find The Actual Chosen One and become The Lancer and the Supporting Protagonist to him. Once you do find him, you'll be shocked to know this chosen one is an absolute ass who treats everybody (especially you) horribly to put it mildly.

edited 27th May '15 3:41:49 PM by aNinjaWithAIDS

So, Kekkai Sensen? Gotcha!

You finally get to do one of your dreams in real life.

BUT

You only have until sunset to complete that dream or else you die.

I'm sure I can switch bodies with Zapdos and back again before then. (Press)

You have the ability to become your favorite Pokemon

BUT

If you transform after sunset and before sunrise, you can't switch back to normal.

...Nah. I have no desire to permanently become Darkrai.

You own the world

BUT

You're also responsible for all the shit that happens on it.

I will accept the deal!

You will live three times longer than you otherwise would have.
However;
You lose your senses of taste and smell.

I would probably lose the will to live if I couldn't enjoy a Red Robin burger ever again. And besides, I would have to watch everyone I know...you know... (Pass!)

You become Hollywood's next biggest star

BUT

You now have enormous ears and a purple nose.

I guess being a real life muppet won't be so bad.

You get your own theme music wherever you go

BUT

You can never turn it off

No thanks. I'd rather have Telepathy with that Power Incontinence instead. Isn't that right...

... dear Haruka Kotoura and Satori Komeji?

You invent a gadget that changes the course of history and mankind for the better!

BUT

your patent for it gets stolen, so history will forget you and remember the thief as the true inventor.

Well as long as mankind benefits it does not matter. -presses-

You can summon whatever food you crave the most and it completely meets your expectations.

But

You can't eat the food ever.