Provide disproportionate retribution to the misdemeanor above

They later kill you in a drive by.

I am cynical when it comes to politics.

You are forced to live with an even more cynical political commentator, who rants on and on about how the world is coming to an end for literally every second you're in the same room as him, which ultimately transforms you into a paranoid conspiracy theorist who refuses to go outside.

I keep some of my plush toys in my closet because there's no room to put them anywhere else.

edited 20th Jan '17 3:20:05 PM by PresidentStalkeyes

Your plush toys come out of the closet and tell all your childhood misdeeds to anyone you know.

I shivered from the cold.

You are thrown into boiling water.

I take a nap instead of doing homework.

You are put to sleep forever.

I started a joke; it started the whole world laughing...

bunp

Now the world will never stop laughing.

I turn in my library book exactly one day past it's due date.

You're going to the magic labyrinth of I. M. Meen!

I watch Let's Plays and walkthroughs more than I actually play games.

You and every other person who does that are paralysed from the neck down.

I cause someone to Rage Quit.

The said person happens to be a Magical Girl. Good luck fighting off a Witch on your own.

I turned Kyosuke Kamijou into a girl.

edited 28th Feb '17 11:37:06 AM by Mhazard

Remember when they said they were an ex-Navy SEAL and they'd 'fuck you up'? Turns out that this time, they weren't kidding. Oh, and they weren't kidding about being a 'master hacker', either, so they know where you live. :V

...She kills you. Yeah, that's the best I could come up with.

I pick up a coin that someone dropped on the pavement.

edited 28th Feb '17 11:39:59 AM by PresidentStalkeyes

Someone usurps your identity and drains your bank account.

I'm not eager to go to work these days.

Mr. Krabs hunts you down to kill you and take it.

I just looked a a bunch of perverted art.

You get blinded for the rest of your life.

I buy the last copy of a very popular videogame in the store.

You are cryogenically frozen and put inside a glass case in a museum of gaming.

I wind the clock 1 minute too late.

You are killed by Rapid Aging.

I make clickbait videos on Youtube.

You're banned from Youtube.

I killed a Radroach.

edited 1st Mar '17 10:34:45 PM by Mhazard

You are maimed by a Deathclaw.

I read one more chapter before going to bed.

The extra chapter you read completly ruins the whole story.

I spilled some flour on the floor.

You'll be choked to death by a bag of flour.

I used bad grammar on the Internet.

An army of grammar Nazis forces you take a college degree's worth of English classes.

I drank milk right out of the jug.

Your punishment is drinking milk right out of the dairy cow. All of it.

I took the last cookie from the jar.

Your hand is replaced with an empty cookie jar.

I use a risqué picture for my avatar.

You are forced to spend the rest of your life naked.

I stayed up all night looking at stuff on my phone.

Your phone battery is dead and the charger doesn't work anymore.

I went to work wearing a miniskirt.