Superman General

I thought they ate cameras.◊

That's an awfully specific task to design a robot for. At least they're nice enough to label its purpose in big, blocky letters.

It was specifically designed to oppose Jimmy Olsen, so it needed the extra hint to let him know it was dangerous.

"This robot is trained to smash your camera."

Little did Jimmy suspect the message continued on the robot's back, "By cracking it down against your frail human skull!"

By the way, 'trained'? Wouldn't 'programmed' make more sens— oh wait, Silver Age. Never mind.

edited 20th Jul '14 1:46:57 PM by NapoleonDeCheese

Little kids might not know what programmed meant!

If Superman was a real man he'd shut those robots off manually and not make all alien men look like brutes! ><

#NotAllAlienMen

edited 20th Jul '14 6:23:30 PM by Nightwire

Remember that fic I was gushing about the other day?

You guys were right.

It was crap.

I haven't felt so intimately interested in strangling an author to death since The Great Gatsby Breakdown last year (I got suspended for that one, calls for Book Burning were involved), and The End Of Evangelion many years before. I now understand why people would send Hideaki Anno death threats, that jackass.

edited 25th Jul '14 3:54:36 PM by TheHandle

Oh? What brought about this change of heart pray tell?

edited 25th Jul '14 4:38:23 PM by VeryMelon

If you've read that book or watched that movie, you'll have a pretty good idea of what.

Maybe years later I'll be all like "yeah, but it grew on me, sometimes tragic things happen, and the world is cold and uncaring", but right now I just feel betrayed, and want to make the author suffer.

OH, okay I get it now.

edited 25th Jul '14 4:32:18 PM by VeryMelon

We should have a trope for that kind of sucky ending. It's even worse than Shoot the Shaggy Dog. It has a different quality to it. Ashen. Suffocating. Infuriating. A horrible sense of impotence against cosmic unfairness.

#

edited 25th Jul '14 4:40:15 PM by TheHandle

Having read that ending, I can't help but laugh.

At the ending, or my reaction? You probably haven't even read the build-up, have you?

edited 26th Jul '14 3:14:08 AM by TheHandle

@The Handle

Not to go off topic...but dude you been to any conventions with Eva panel? I'll say this much, "No one left the one I was at thinking "Fuck Anno" " regarding End of Evangelion.

If I was at convention with Superman panel be most belligerent motherfucker there due to how shitty Doom event is.

Alternately, fuck Anno for Rebuild 3.33.

That asshole.

Shouldn't you wait until 4.44 before passing judgement?

Fuck Anno for Rebuild of Evangelion in general.

Yeah, the end of the Superman fan fic was pretty bad.

Well, let's be fair, the alternative happy ending would have been virtually identical to the one in Superman Red Son, except without the pointless fight between Superman and Luthor (who ended up doing the exact same thing he'd accused Superman of doing). I guess the author was going for originality and punch: you never expect Superman to die, of bad luck and from Luthor being Properly Paranoid. Even in the What If? stories where such a thing would happen, the death is appropriately dramatic and hard-earned. But there's a line between "surprising your audience" and "making your audience feel betrayed", and it misfired into the latter.

edited 29th Jul '14 5:23:07 AM by TheHandle

Yeah, it's one of those endings that just kicks the reader in the teeth. "You're hoping for a good outcome of some sort after all this? Too bad! Take that!!"

I haven't read it myself, but where does it say that every story has to have a happy or uplifting ending? Aren't Downer Endings valid as well?

Well, it could have been worse. Luthor could have been a Card-Carrying Villain rather than a The Chessmaster Anti-Villain Totalitarian Utilitarian. I'm still worried about humanity, though; this Luthor's basically a super Gus Frin meets Tokyoumi Sr.; he's a great schemer but he's proven to be a Horrible Judge of Character at critical moments.

Interestingly enough, despite his competence, he lacks the flair and wit and boldness to qualify as Magnificent Bastard. He's way too controlled.

There's the compelling, cathartic kind of Downer Ending. And there's this. This is not it.

edited 29th Jul '14 7:01:29 AM by TheHandle

Not every story has to have a happy ending, that's certainly true. But aren't we generally expecting one with Superman stories? Maybe that's just me, to hope for the best with stories about an inspirational character like Superman, and maybe that's one big reason this fan fic just didn't work for me. Because it takes him apart and makes him look weak and unprepared and out of touch every chance it gets. And then he dies. I have a hard time finding much enjoyment in that scenario.

What it seems to me that the author was trying to say was that Superman can't work in the real world. It would be impossible to keep his secret, he couldn't maintain genuine relationships with those around him, and his power would be of little use with the more complicated issues in life. And in the end he'll die because he's unwilling to take the hard steps to protect himself.

edited 29th Jul '14 7:34:47 AM by andersonh1

How do you think Superman would fare against One-Punch Man?