Love is Love is Love
With her secretary, her wife, Ron Granger.
My various fanfics.
himitsu keisatsu
We all know Ron would make a terrible Wife. He's her boy toy. While he's also a terrible secretary, that's what she has his assistants for. We all know the job of the secretary is to be, ahem, stress relief.
Also...
Can I get away with making Dumbledore adopt a Totally Radical speech pattern in an effort to annoy the hell out of everyone around him as he totally and utterly destroys Hogwarts' DDR Ladder? And yes, I do mean Dance Dance Revolution. For some reason, I can totally see Dumbledore being flat out awesome at it.
edited 27th Dec '14 9:05:16 PM by IAmNotCreativeEnough
himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari
World's Cutest Direwolf
DDR in Hogwarts, of the "your muggle listening devices will not work in here" thing? Not sure that'd work.
Dumbledore going Totally Radical for his own amusement, sure. You've got all kinds of leeway to have Dumbledore being silly.
himitsu keisatsu
I imagine that if anyone can make it work, it's Albus Bloody Dumbledore. Plus, he does have divine backing...
How's this for a handwave: Magical Arcade Cabinets. Cue Hogwarts getting a game room. Nintendo'll be all over that shit.
edited 27th Dec '14 9:35:41 PM by IAmNotCreativeEnough
himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari
World's Cutest Direwolf
Some muggleborn is getting very, very rich.
himitsu keisatsu
Indeed.
Also, just try to imagine what the addition of magic could do for the gaming industry!
himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari
i'd read it ![[lol]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/lol2v12_4863.png "[lol]"){kind=small}
Not as angry as the name would suggest.
I actually had an idea for one Kingdom Hearts fic where the villains invade the Harry Potter verse and discover that technology doesn't work at Hogwarts. It's mostly a minor setback, but...
"Do you know how long it took me to upgrade all of our computers to Magitek? Do you?! Like TWO HOURS! TWO. HOURS!"
Oh God! Natural light!
Show an affirming flame
Hey, if anyone were to truly systematize magic in HP, it'd be a computer scientist. Maybe someone like Alan Turing—I'm fully convinced that Dumbledore had contacts in Churchill's wartime ministry, as they were both waging a long-range remote-control war, and besides Turing was already a key player in the real-life Wizard War.
(That was the nickname of the scientific war between Germany and the Allies encompassing such things as the Enigma codebreaking effort, the ongoing race between radar and its countermeasures, and the sci-fi-ish Battle of the Beams; if anyone were cued in to the existence of the wizarding world, it'd be the geniuses at Bletchley Park.)
The Magic of Torchwood has just updated. A certain someone is part Dementor. I was loving it, until the Squick Fridge Logic set in. I mean...a Dementor.
I was really feeling the story up until that point, but maybe I'll keep reading.
Show an affirming flame
Heehee, International Relations prof S. M. Saideman joins in the debate over how the Potters got their money.
Y'know, he's got a point. I was never comfortable with the book's explanation that Potter was descended from this family of high-power wizards; it smacks far too much of the destiny/Chosen One bullshit that Rowling did a great job of breaking apart with Dumbledore. Given how the money stays in gold form instead of taking the form of investments, properties, and the like, it seems likely—and, you have to admit, a lot more fun—that it was acquired dubiously at some point or another; ditto their lineage.
edited 29th Dec '14 7:35:17 PM by SabresEdge
Charlie Stross's cheerful, optimistic predictions for 2017, part one of three.
himitsu keisatsu
This is what happens when you design an Escapist Character, give him an object that is extremely useful to steal stuff and then never tell anyone where he got his money.
Also, the idea isn't really new. I know of at least one decently big name fic, I remember it 'cuz of the alliteration, I think it was Larceny, Lechery and Luna Lovegood. Was that the one with Dark Lord Ron Jeremy? 'Cuz that was the best part of the fic. The only thing I remember was that the Potters had magic for thievery, while the Weasleys were all about the sex. (Nevermind that, in canon, Arthur Weasley had to be seduced by Molly and he was apparently incredibly Oblivious to Love)
himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari
World's Cutest Direwolf
I wonder if James would have been aware that his ancestors were a pack of thieving bastards. It would have given him another reason not to hold Sirius's family against him.
Show an affirming flame
To paraphrase Sir Terry Pratchett, having a slave trader as an uncle is cause for shame, but having a pirate as a great-grandfather is a mark of pride. 
Well, duh. Because pirates in fiction are cool. Mostly.
United Earth
They're like today's ganstas, yo, living free of The Man. Even The Highwayman is a gallant figure:
edited 29th Dec '14 10:03:25 PM by TheHandle
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
himitsu keisatsu
Talking about this does give me the idea of writing Harry's family as basically a line of revolutionaries. Only, to kill the cliché, they're not necessarily good guys, so to speak. Of course, they remain popular because, while some of them might've been really fucking evil, they usually stablished themselves by punching out something worse. And Genre Savvy as well as high levels of Charisma help, too.
edited 29th Dec '14 10:29:23 PM by IAmNotCreativeEnough
himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari
I think I'd read that, honestly.
United Earth
The Potters as dashing, arrogant Anti-Hero / Byronic Hero types? Does their leitmotif sound like this?
That'd be a really interesting premise.
I had a love/hate relationship with Love, Larcenry and Luna Lovegood. I really liked the idea of having the Potter's be thieves/ criminals. But absolutely hated how everything just dropped into Harry's lap. And the Torture Porn of characters the author disliked. Bleh.
"But if that happened, Melia might actually be happy. We can't have that." - Handsome Rob
himitsu keisatsu
![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
The only song that can call itself Zero is this one.
United Earth
Sorry, Miss, I don't be playin' with no toy planes. I'll admit, though, the One-Woman Wail on this one, coupled with the guitar...
Well, okay, this one's the better song. Happy?
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
himitsu keisatsu
I'd suggest to at least try it. It's the game that has the most beautiful aversion of Dude, Where's My Respect? I've seen.
himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari
World's Cutest Direwolf
It was May 1999 and Harry Potter was collapsing gratefully into bed. It had been a grueling day, even by the standards of an Auror trainee. Who would have thought that avuncular old Aloisius Hoyle could have been corrupt? No wonder it had taken nine frustrating months since he noticed the first strangeness until the truth came out. There were still a few unanswered questions, but they could certainly wait until he was rested. With the smile from a job well done on his lips, he drifted off to sleep.
He awoke, er, opened his eyes, returned to awareness in a mist-shrouded King's Cross Station that he immediately recognized as a dream. Oh hell, that nightmare tonight on top of everything? But it wasn't the flayed-infant Voldemort that greeted him, but Albus Dumbledore.
“Hello, Harry,” he said.
“Hello, Professor,” said Harry, still a little thrown by this unexpected alteration to the familiar, if unwelcome, course of the King's Cross dream.
“Now, I was very impressed with how you handled foolish old Aloisius and his amphisbaena, but I think some matters still need clearing up. You see, some years ago in Croatia-”
“Wait,” said Harry, holding a hand out to stop the older man. “Wait wait wait. How do I know anything about what happened some years ago in Croatia?”
Dumbledore gave him an odd look. “I rather expected that you wouldn't, or I should have no reason to tell you.”
“But, no, wait. This whole dream, this has to be some elaborate subconscious way of working things out, of putting together the facts that I already know, you can't actually be Professor Dumbledore having one of our end-of-school-year...chats....” Harry paused for a moment, continuing in a more abstracted tone. “Wow, we really did have one of those talks at the end of every school year, didn't we. Even after you died. And it's around the end of the school year now. And I first thought something was up in September, right around when the school year would begin. But that's just a coincidence, right? It has to be.”
Dumbledore sighed and took off his spectacles to clean them. “Harry, as you grow older you will begin to realize that there are patterns that reoccur in our lives, patterns that-”
But Harry, who had had a very long day with more than its share of unpleasant nonsense, walked off into the mist, middle finger visible over his shoulder.
It was May 2003 and Harry Potter was drinking with Ron Weasley.
“I can't take it any more,” said Ron. “Now that we've caught Ratzinger, after most of a damn year-”
“Nine months,” Harry muttered, unheard. He'd been more receptive on his second dreamtime meeting with Dumbledore.
“-I'm done. The Aurors aren't hurting for talent, they can get by without me, and I've had enough horrible things try to kill me to last two lifetimes. We had three separate Dark Wizards trying to murder us before we got out of training, do you realize that?”
Harry, who had been keeping rather closer track of how often that sort of thing happened than Ron, decided the question was probably rhetorical. “So where are you going to be working instead? Did the Quidditch thing pull through?”
“Nah, I already told you they said I wasn't going to 'be a good fit,' whatever that means.”
“What about teams other than the Cannons?” Harry asked. Ron gave him a look that said, quite plainly, that he loved Harry like a brother and would never want to hurt him, so he was going to give him a chance to change what he'd just said to something that Ron's honor didn't demand he respond to with a thrashing. It was one of the most information-dense expressions Harry'd ever seen. “That is, where are you headed if not Quidditch?”
“The joke shop. George needs another hand more than the Office does, really.”
“Can't say I won't miss you, but I know you'll do well there.”
“Thanks mate. Say, did you ever think Ratzinger was never going to get nabbed? That he was just going to be our one that got away?”
“Nah, we got him about a week earlier than I expected. Still fits the Pattern. Bartender! Another round!”
It was November 2009 and Harry Potter was working his way through paperwork when he got the word that there'd been a break in the Goodrich exsanguination case. Varney Ruthven, a vampire with a longstanding grudge against the Goodrich family, was now known to have been lurking about in the general area of the attacks and had no alibi for any of them.
An obvious red herring.
“See that he's kept in a warm cell,” that is, one without a dementor, not that the Auror Office made much use of them these days, “with all the comforts we can provide. Maybe have one of the new blood, pardon the pun, dance attendance on him. It'll probably build character.” Ruthven wasn't going to get exonerated for a good six months, Harry knew, but that was no excuse for not doing what he could.
The rookies might look askance at an order like that, but the old guard, most of whom had known Dumbledore and Moody, didn't even blink. Potter was an odd one to be sure, but he could keep giggling to himself about “patterns” as long as he kept getting his man.
It was September 2017, and Harry Potter was watching the train taking his sons off to school fade into the distance.
“He'll be all right,” murmured Ginny.
Harry let his hand fall to his scar, thinking about all the warnings he'd given both boys, to trust their friends but not expect too much from the adults until the very end, to pay attention to every spell mentioned in lecture because it could be the one that saved their lives, to know that it was never the most suspicious person who was guilty.
“I know he will.”
James and Al knew the Pattern, which had acquired italics over the years. All was well.
edited 1st Jan '15 4:05:59 AM by rikalous
I'd be disappointed in her if Hermione didn't wind up Minister.
himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari