All-Purpose Nasuverse Fanfiction Thread

Saber

Lancer maintained a firm glare at his new enemy.

Just a few minutes ago, he had been running after that red-haired boy who had witnessed his showdown against the bow slash swordsman Archer and his master, the black-haired girl that was the heir to the Tohsaka family.

The pursuit had been infuriating. The boy had turned out to actually been a mage, but even for normal human standards he was so much of a weakling that it was a miracle that he was still alive to witness that fight, furthermore, strokes of dumb luck after dumb luck had stopped the boy from being killed once and for all by Lancer.

Or maybe it was the opposite; strokes of bad luck after bad luck on Lancer´s part had maintained the boy alive.

Whichever it was, it had happened again, somehow, the boy had managed to summon a Servant to the fight at a time when he was finally going to be pierced by Lancer’s spear.

This man, clad fully in black, a cape hiding most of his upper body, using a curious hat, seemed oddly… familiar to Lancer.

“Would I be wrong in saying that you are the Servant of the Lancer Class?” The man in black asked.

“What if you weren’t? What would you do then?”

“Would it be too much to ask to leave my Master alone? I can give you a few things in exchange.” The man in black continued, putting a hand inside his cape, presumably intending to pick up a pouch or something. “I have jewels, money, several sorts of items, do any of those sound tempting for you?”

“No deal.” Lancer said, wondering how he could keep so many things beneath his cape without having it show on his appearance. “I am a warrior, not some two-bit coward you can buy out.”

“I see,” The Servant in black stated, keeping any emotion but a mere sense of acknowledgment to seep in his voice. “We have no choice then,” he put one foot forward and slightly raised his cape, revealing the handle of a sword which he then pulled out. “Lancer, I am Servant Saber, prepare yourself!” as he declared that, he started running aiming his sword at Lancer,

Lancer reacted by making a slight jump back, putting his feet firmly in the ground, and then he started thrusting at the advancing enemy.

Saber blocked Lancer’s attacks, maintaining himself away from within Lancer’s close range. “He is a spearman…” Saber mused, “This means that his inner range is likely less dangerous than his outer range.” Concluding this, Saber dodged Lancer’s latest attack and made a race to get closer to his foe, he then tried to slash at his.

“Imbecile.” Lancer mocked, quickly crouching, easily evading Saber’s desperate cut. He then put all of his force into his fists, and swinged his spear, aiming for Saber’s ribs.

“This can’t end yet!” Saber thought defiantly, he put all of his energy into his sword and redirected it into his enemy’s spear’s path.

“Blam!” The two weapons clashed, and a shockwave could be felt by the two warriors emanating from the meeting of their weapons.

“Tsc.” Lancer was thrown into the air by the shockwave, struggling to regain control of his body.

“Bang!” Came an odd sound from the other side.

Lancer landed, his feet planted firmly in the ground. But what was most important was the light grazing in his right leg, Lancer noticed that wound, then stared at the distant Saber, who was holding a revolver, pointed at Lancer.

“A swordsman using guns? How dishonorable of you.” Lancer stated, recalling how he, at the last second, had changed his body’s position so that it would avoid the oncoming bullet.

“Honor has no place in a desperate showdown for the lives of others,” Saber intoned, a look of utter and complete determination graving his face.

Lancer looked at his enemy more intently, “It also seems that your precious sword is ruined, my dear swordsman.” He then pointed at Saber’s other hand.

Saber examined his sword closer, the blade was cracked completely, the edge was blunt and twisted from the impact, it looked pitiful, it was broken beyond repair.

Saber raised his eyes, and glared at Lancer, “ I no longer need it,” he threw it away into the ground, after that, he lightly opened his cape, revealing two more swords, one of which he proceeded to pull out from its scabbard. “You better bring me all you got, my dear Spearman.”

“Hehehehehehe,” Lancer was excited, his enemy was strong, his life was in danger, he felt all of his blood coursing through his veins, his body was tired from all the fighting, his brain was filled with the feeling only those who faced death knew. Furthermore, was it his imagination? He thought, for a second there, that during the clash between his spear and Saber’s sword, that his enemy’s weapon had been replaced by an axe, a glowing, green axe.

This was it, this was nothing like the irritating pursuit he had been engaging in just a few minutes ago, it was nothing like hunting an enemy that was too freaking weak to put up any sort of decent resistance that didn’t rely on luck.

This was real,

This was an actual battle.

Lancer analyzed his situation, his enemy was at a reasonable distance from him, it would take a while for him to cross it, and by then, it would be easy for Lancer to block it, Saber could try using his revolver, but Lancer had no doubts that he would be able to dodge the bullet.

On the other hand, Lancer could use his superior speed to cross the distance in no time at all, and then he could overwhelm Saber with his attacks.

Deciding his course of action, Lancer leaped at his enemy, crossing the distance in a blink of an eye.

Saber then threw his sword high above, sending it spinning into the air, he then quickly went to the handle of his other sword.

“It’s a trick! He is trying to distract me.” Lancer concluded before focusing all of his strength and speed in his arms and starting to stab at Saber.

Three things happened, in quick succession.

First, Saber’s sword glowed a green light. Second, Saber pulled it out of its scabbard . Third: Saber’s sword met Lancer’s spear.

Lancer quickly tried another thrust which was also blocked by Saber, Lancer then increased his speed and started attacking everywhere.

Upper left, lower right, down center, upper center , lower left, middle right, center, lower center.

Saber was blocking each and every attack by Lancer, all the while his sword was glowing a green light, and all around, the air was being slashed and sliced by Saber’s blade.

Lower left, lower center, upper right, upper center, lower right, upper left, middle left, lower left.

If looked up from high above, one might be able to see a transparent green sphere such was how fast the sword was moving, if raindrops felled they would all be absorbed by the sphere without ever touching the ground, if a bird came near it, it would be cut down.

Lower right, center, lower left, upper left, upper center, middle left, lower left, upper center, lower center.

Up above, the spinning sword who had previously be throw was finishing it’s descending arc, soon it would reach the two warriors.

Upper right, lower center, middle left, lower left, upper middle, lower middle, lower left, lower right.

“You might be faster than me at running,” Saber observed, “But I am still way ahead of you in a sleight of hand!” Saber then stopped his enemy ‘s spear while it was coming back from a lower strike, and forced it down, momentarily making an opening in Lancer’s defense.

“Dammit!” Saber heard Lancer say as he held up his free hand in the air and pulled out the flying sword.

“Prepare yourself!” Saber charged his energy at the sword and started thrusting and stabbing at Lancer, his sword glowing green and morphing.

“What?!” Lancer was surprised; Saber’s sword had suddenly turned into a completely green spear, a spear which was powerful, fast and deadly.

“This can’t end yet!” Lancer forced himself to regain control of his spear, he then used his spear to increase the obstacles of Saber’s weapon to him.

Lancer escaped Saber’s barrage, blocking a few attacks, dodging others, and narrowly escaping a few. He then jumped away, intending to use his distance from Saber to buy some time.

“Grrrk,” Lancer was angry, it seemed like nothing he did had much effect. “This guy is tough. I need to finish this fast. No choice, I am gonna have to use that.”

“Ah?” Saber noticed something was odd, his enemy was slightly bent down, his spear was lowered, yet a great whirlwind of magical energy was gathering all around him. “He is gonna use his Noble Phantasm? No good, I must stop him before that happens!” Concluding this, Saber quickly started running at the enemy.

All around Lancer the energy gathered, he knew that this was the only way out, he knew that his enemy would soon die, and the battle be over. He gathered his strength, and prepared himself.

Saber wasn’t very far away now, one jump and he could attack his enemy from above, gathering his forces, Saber leapt.

Lancer then aimed straight ahead, leapt a little bit behind, and threw his spear.

At that moment, two words left Lancer’s mouth.

“Gae Bolg!”

The spear redirected it’s course, previously it was aimed at a random point in the ground, now it was targeting Saber’s heart, and it was coming fast.

“Damn!” Saber said, desperate, as he saw the enemy’s spear coming at him, suddenly he felt an enormous pain in the left side of his body, as his graceful descent into the ground turned into a confused mess of black, light pink, and red.

“Heh,” Lancer was satisfied, his enemy was finally beaten, to be honest, he was kinda disappointed of that, but Saber was dangerous, if Lancer didn’t kill him as fast as possible, he could have died. “Sorry for not being able to fight with you more, don’t be weirded out by this… but I would have loved to fight more with you.”

“Why don’t we do that?” Came a voice, Lancer turned around to see the wounded, bleeding, but very much alive Saber standing.

“How is this possible?!” Lancer shouted, Gae Bolg was a Noble Phantasm which reversed causality in such a way as for it to first cause a wound, and only later create a direction that caused it, surviving it shouldn’t be possible.

In response, Saber pulled a small cage from within his cape, and held out a finger, a small golden bug soon came to it.

“A… locust?” Lancer said, dumbfounded.

“Yes.” Saber said, confirming Lancer’s suspicions. “From within this cage, locusts come out, these locusts spread around, and bite people, through that bite, they drain people’s luck and bring it back to me, thus greatly increasing my luck. That is my Noble Phantasm, Locusts Of Despair, or, as they were originally called, Luck Locusts.”

“To be honest…” Saber continued, raising his voice. “I first used them here against you much earlier then right now, I, at first, used the moment you were flying in the air because of the shockwave caused by both of our weapons, in order to reach under my cape, into the cage, and release the locusts, I then right after you were bitten, shot at your leg in order to cover up the tracks of my locust’s bite.”

“After that, I prolonged the fight enough so that each of the locusts returned here with the luck they got from people who live nearby and are currently sleeping, you were so focused on fighting me, that you did not even notice the bugs coming from outside and returning to me. Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to have been enough to completely stop your attack, but, instead of a pierced heart, all that I have is a stabbed left shoulder.”

“He had started stacking the chances against me even back then? And he went through the trouble of covering up his tracks by causing a bigger wound?” Lancer was impressed. “This guy… is smart.”

“Obviously… I will give all that luck back to the people from around here by tomorrow, but first we have to settle this fight.” Saber started walking in Lancer’s direction, “Both of us are weakened and tired, I lost one of my swords and damaged another, while you gave your best attack up to your enemy, both of us are close to our last legs. Even so, this battle is still far from deciding a victor, Lancer…” he then held out his sword and started running “Our battle is just beginning!”

-Some distance away-

“We are almost there, Master!” Said the dark-skinned swordsman.

“He better not be dead yet! Seriously, if he died because we got there too late I am gonna have a serious talk with you.” Replied the black-haired young girl who was being carried by him.

“It’s not my fault! There was a banana peel back there.” Protested the Servant.

“What was a banana peel doing on a house’s roof?” Snarked the girl.

“You know… good question.” He replied.

250 years ago, Servant Rays from the Grail Galaxy fell to Earth, saturating several people. Now, in the modern day, an evil organization known as SHADE is using cyborg technology to unlock the hidden power of the descendants of those people. The mysterious Kotomine Kirei recruits 5 teenagers with attitude and teaches them to unlock the power of the Servants Rays through meditation to become... EPIC SENTAI HERONGER!

• Tohsaka Rin: Archer Red. A skilled martial artist, student and teen model, she has no fucking idea why she got stuck with archery-based equipment she doesn't even know how to use. Is always trying to take Saber Yellow's sword. Is really pissed turning into Archer Red turns her into a guy.

• Bazete McRemitz: Lancer Blue. A no-nonsense government agent in the land transportation office, she was just an ordinary pencil pusher in charge of handing out taxi licenses. Now really glad she took that one Naginatado class when she was 9, she fights with the ridiculously dangerous but thankfully user-friendly cursed spear Gae Bolg! Is very glad turning into Lancer Blue doesn't turn her into a guy.

• Matou Sakura: Rider Purple. An Archery Club member who secretly helps her grandfather make old man-young girl porn. Has a chain and spike that aren't really very useful but look really cool. Her outfit is kinda purple with lotsa pink. Her already big chest upgrades two sizes when transformed. All the other girls hate that.

• Illyasviel Von Einzbern: Berserker Black. A foreign loli who magically gets older when she transforms to let them use a normal-sized suit actor. Wields a giant axe-yeah-totally-an-axe-even-though-it-looks-like-a-sword. Turns into a huge muscle man when she transforms. She doesn't really care.

• Emiya Shiro: Saber Yellow. The not-really-all-that-funny comic relief idiot, Rin keeps trying to take his sword. Can walk on water, come back from being mostly dead, and turn water in a good soup using well-chosen and lovingly prepared ingredients. A really housewife type. Turns into a girl when transformed. No one is really surprised.

• 6th Ranger! Medea-san: Assassin Butterfly. A 35 year-old housewife with late-onset chuunibyou syndrome, she believes herself to be the reincarnation of Ozma of Oz. Once a pro tennis player, her career ended when she got married and began blowing off sponsors to have sex with her husband. She now makes a small living making shady candy. Her weapon is some unholy cross between a theodolite and a nodachi. She has no idea how to use it, but it looks cool. Gains a gender-neutral sexy voice and ambiguous body type when transformed. Thinks it's cool and that her power is raging out of her control, covering her in sinful chaos.

Rin: Sakura! I'm home!

Sakura: Welcome back Onee-sama! Would you like dinner... a bath... or me to provide you with domestic support and replenish your mana?

Rin: you know, we really should have let the Matou adopt you. You probably would want to have sex as often...