Dear Bill,
NO.
You think I'm afraid of you? Your "Dream Demon" thing is nothing compared to Christmas magic! Good will always conquer evil, so don't even think of touching a hair on any of their heads.
F*** you,
Santa Claus
Dear Santa Claus,
I know it's rather odd for an adult to write to you, but after all, we're all mad here!
This year has been quite a lot of fun, and what better way to cap it all off than a mad Christmas tea party?
Forget Batman's gloomy cowl! I want you to know that I'm stopping by your workshop this year, and I'll stop at nothing to obtain your trademark red cap! Then (after a little bout of hypnosis) you and your elves will join me for a pleasant tea party!
And once I gain control over your workshop, I'll be practically UNSTOPPABLE! Ignore this part, please. Heh.
Champion of Io!
Dear Mad Hatter
No, no, no, no, no! The only thing more stupid is to the same, but for The Joker.
Sincerely
Santa
—————————————
Dear Santa
It's us, BlogClan! Santaclaws isn't here this Christmas, so could you take over for him?
Love, BlogClan
edited 30th Aug '16 2:07:20 PM by BlizzardeyeWonder
Oh look, a ghost!
Dear BogClan,
uhhhhh, idk who you are, but if you are what i think you are, then no. not after what happened last time. i couldn't get the smell of expired peanut butter out of my nose for a month because of that.
with regards, Santa.
—
Dear Santa,
Can you get those two dreamy-yet-broody white boys to stop fighting over me? I can't concentrate on fighting the totalitarian government that's oppressing us and making us fight.
*Vague plotting intensifies*
Dear insecure but somehow extremely capable protagonist,
Your problems are your responsibility, and many people would give anything to have even one person who cares that badly about them. Just try to consider the consequences of taking down, say, the corporation that gives literally everybody jobs.
- Dear Santa,
Can you please send down another human? I and the monsters are very lonely, and we need another hope to be... Liberated from that condition...
My new plan is so secret that even I cannot understand its full scope!
This is an actual screenshot.
Dear Chara: Sorry, but we're out of humans.
Dear Santa Claus:
How have you been? Did you have a nice summer? How is your wife? I have been extra good this year. So I have a long list of presents that I want. Please note the size and colour of each item, and send as many as possible. If it seems too complicated, make it easy on yourself: just send money. How about tens and twenties?
edited 31st Aug '16 3:21:43 PM by CamelCase
ME!? You want ME to be the director of your Christmas play?!
Woah, communism!
Dear Sally Brown,
I have made note of the presents, but I can't counterfeit money.
-Santa
Dear Santa,
I wanna be a PowerPuff Girl! Daddy made me a costume and everything but they won't let me be one! Can you make the PowerPuffs make me a PowerPuff Girl?! Please? I'll give you as much money as possible, or I'll sue the money back if you don't!
My stuff. Dynamic dinosaur
*Vague plotting intensifies*
Dear Princess Morbucks,
Santa's workshop makes a point of being fair and obeying the law, and we don't take bribes. And you would lose the lawsuit. If you want powers, you should earn them.
Santa
Dear Santa:
I have sadness! My star of darkness failed like a toddler in calculus and now I am a talking head of shame. Can Fawful have more artifacts which are bringing doom? If not, I will have fury!
My new plan is so secret that even I cannot understand its full scope!Dear Fawful,
You have been very bad this year. Conquest and revenge should not be your priorities. If you decide to forgive the Mario Bros., maybe you will get a nice present.
- Santa Claus
HI, SANTA!
All I want for Christmas is for lots of people to be sick! Then they can come to the hospital and be my friends!
- Dr. Doom
I haven't played the particular game that Tango is from, but still... robo kitty. :D
Hi Doctor Doom,
You're doomed. But don't worry, you're just another doombot.
- Santa Claus
Hi Santa,
Do you love me?
- Jesus
May the Fourth, yeah yeah.
Dear Jesus,
Of course I do. Happy Birthday!
-Santa.
—-
Dear Santa,
Are you worried that your home is melting from global warming?
-A concerned citizen.
It's over Anakin! I have the high ground!
Red Like Santa
Dear Citizen:
Of course. That's why I'm giving all the global warming deniers stuff from the Reindeer's stables!
Sincerely, Santa.
Dear Santa:
I'd like to get a new arm. Please can you give me one? Oh, and can you resurrect my friend Pyrrha? I'm missing her already.
Sincerely, Yang Xiao Long
Now known as Cyber Controller
Dear Yang.
I can at least give you a prosthetic. But...Not even all of the Christmas Magic in the world can bring someone back from the dead.
-Santa Clause.
Dear Santa...
"Hey there! I wanted to know how Earth was. I think I used to live there as a kid? I'm not too sure."
"Maybe you could send us a photo or two? Or get our radios back up!"
"From, Caboose!"
edited 23rd Oct '16 5:49:01 PM by RandomWriter413
Champion of Io!
Dear Caboose
Well, why not? It's not like that'll result in anyone getting shot or anything.
From
Santa Claus
——-
Dear Santa
Please tell the fandom I don't die that much.
edited 23rd Oct '16 6:18:27 PM by BlizzardeyeWonder
Oh look, a ghost!
Dear Zero,
Okay, go find a better player, still, you can't stop Iris from dying.
This is what you are fighting for, isn't it? Have a nice holiday! Ho! Ho! Ho!
- Santa Claus.
Dear Santa
Can I have a doll?
edited 24th Oct '16 2:10:48 AM by Mhazard
Dear Hunter,
A doll? If that is what you wish for, I will give it to you. If that's all you want, you don't seem too bad, but just in case...
Please keep in mind that if you intend to hurt others, and especially if you use the doll to do so, you will be punished.
Otherwise, I will get a lovely doll for you! Merry Christmas!
- Santa Claus
Dear Santa,
I don't know what good this will do, but I'm desperate for someone, ANYONE, to hear me: GET ME OUT OF THIS HELLHOLE!
I haven't played the particular game that Tango is from, but still... robo kitty. :D
The Best Worst Psychonaut
Dear Barry Chuckle Ill,
I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I've also received lots and lots of letters demanding Sparklecare updates, and since I can't deliver those if you're not actually in the hospital, I'm going to have to decline. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, am I right?
~Santa Claus
_________________________
Dear Mr. Claus,
We've received word that you have somehow been replicating hundreds, if not thousands, of copies of various goods, protected by copyright law, using undocumented slave labour, and we have the evidence to prove it. We recommend you come clean to the authorities or we will be forced to arrest you.
~Interpol
edited 20th Dec '16 3:43:46 PM by PresidentStalkeyes
"If you think like a child, you will do a child's work."
May be Stupendous Man
Dear tEMMIE,
I LOVE you.
~Santa Claus
Dear Santa,
Can I have Kyosuke as my Christmas gift?
~Miki Sayaka
edited 31st Dec '16 9:47:11 PM by Mhazard
Fits in Heavy's pocket!
Dear Sayaka
No. I'm afraid you can't make people like you. Relationships do not work that way.
From Santa
P.S. You'd be surprised how often I get letters like this.
Dear Santa
Make all the children in Lazy Town quiet and lazy and stay indoors like good children. No more playing and jumping and singing. And make Sportaflop go away FOREVER and never come back. Ever. And give me lots of presents.
From Robbie Rotten
P.S. I have been very good all year, I promise, so you don't need to check your list.
The last thing you hear before an unstoppable juggernaut bisects you with a minigun.
PINNACLE OF MAN
Dear Robbie,
Think who you're talking to. I don't need to check my list to know that you were absolutely naughty this year.
- Santa.
Dear Santa,
I'd like to understand. What is the point of this holiday? I have never experienced it until this point of my life.
~ X-6
edited 1st Jan '17 1:35:52 AM by arcada188
I am the most suitable partner for Gaia. I have some bad news. You will not make it to Eden. This is the end of your journey.Dear X-6,
Christmas is a time where everyone exchanges gifts - but more importantly, spends time with each other. Of course, that's not the only meaning of Christmas. Ever heard of The Bible? You should read it.
...And while you're at it, read a book called How the Grinch Stole Christmas!. It talks about the "spending time with each other" part.
Merry Christmas to all!
- Santa Claus
Dear Santa,
Could I maybe have a new magic wand for Christmas? One that's more powerful? Powerful enough to beat Mario? He's really getting on my nerves. How am I supposed to be a great circus performer when he keeps getting in the way?
- Lemmy Koopa
edited 1st Jan '17 9:59:03 AM by DrNoPuma
I haven't played the particular game that Tango is from, but still... robo kitty. :D
Dear Lemmy.
No, I don't send gift to naughty children. Besides, why don't you just turn off your console so he can't fight you?
Sincerely,
- Santa Claus
Dear Santa,
Can I have my ring back?
Sincerely,
- Sauron
edited 15th Jan '17 11:42:32 AM by Mhazard
Dear Sauron,
lolnope
-Santa
Dear Santa,
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I am Painis Cupcake
And I am going to eat you
-Painis Cupcake
The King Without a Kingdom
Dear Painis,
I'd love to see you try.
-Santa
________________________________________________________________
Dear Santa,
I'd like for you to send me the strongest fighter you have. I ask for no presents, because I know I would be considered "naughty".
-Cell.
It's been 3000 years…
Dear Mewtwo
DEENIED!
-Best wishes, one of the humans you threatened when you were evil.
Dear Santa Claus
Could you please help me deal with some of the Pines? I can make it worth your time!
Best Wishes,
Bill
PS: Before you say no, you may want to stop and think about what could happen.