Things You are No Longer Allowed to Do in an RPG

No. Just... No. The multiverse will not accept another guy running around with his atomic shlong in the open.

edited 25th Apr '11 11:43:36 AM by NotSoBadassLongcoat

"what the complete, unabridged, 4k ultra HD fuck with bonus features" - Mark Von Lewis

Ehh, I can probably remove it with By Rage Recast...

13. Not allowed to rename Proxima Centauri Nemesis and redirect it at the sun.
14. Fire may technically qualify as a low-energy plasma, but that's that not a valid excuse for my ranger to call his +1 Flaming Crossbow a 'plasma rifle'.

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Bonus points to who gets what I'm referencing with 13.

edited 26th Apr '11 6:52:58 AM by Vorthon

"If there are any gods whose chief concern is man, they can't be very important gods." - Arthur C. Clarke

Archemedis?

edited 26th Apr '11 8:42:21 AM by Azreal341

Nope. It's a fairly obvious reference, too.

"If there are any gods whose chief concern is man, they can't be very important gods." - Arthur C. Clarke

1) I am not allowed to play a high charisma character ever again. She may be beautiful and charming but whoring your way through a campaign without nuking anyone kind of makes it boring for everyone else.

"Tyyr's a necessary evil. " Spirit

Wait, "redirect it at the sun?" You can do that?

Rule of Awesome/fun + D20 Future = crazy awesome.

Also, proxima centauri is what kind of star? That's the only hint you get.

"If there are any gods whose chief concern is man, they can't be very important gods." - Arthur C. Clarke

I am no longer allowed to make a character who can punch through tanks with his bare hands and bodyslam heavily armored cyborgs to the ground.

I am no longer allowed to speak like Liberty Prime but with all instances of "communism" replaced with "heresy".

I do not have a "prime directive" and if I did, it would not be "punch heresy in the face".

But not punching heresy in the face is heresy.

Add me on Skype: Al Cook (darnpenguin)

^Case in point◊.

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

It's a Red Dwarf isn't it?

• I am not allowed to use the halfling as a step to jump over the enemy for instant combat advantage. Warlords are supposed to have better options for that sort of thing.
• If you plan to role-play Inspiring Word, make sure you are actually inspiring.
• Not allowed to rub in the DM's face that his carefully constructed cinematic boss battle will be over in minutes by treating Wrath Of The Gods as Theme Music Powerup.
• No matter how much the Paladin of Avandra hates slavers, he is not allowed to make a scene when maintaining cover is the smart thing to do.

Heh, I had a barbarian once whose Theme Music Powerup was the theme from Yor The Hunter From The Future with his own name inserted. "Bim's world, he's the maaaaan!"

Add me on Skype: Al Cook (darnpenguin)

...My Druid needs a theme song powerup.

I'm thinking a Jurassic Park rock remix, since he watches over a valley full of dinosaurs.

Also, new ruling:

My Bard does not cast by singing Disney songs in foreign languages.

edited 26th Apr '11 5:03:58 PM by Krautman

...and that's terrible.

"I am no longer allowed to make a character who can punch through tanks with his bare hands and bodyslam heavily armored cyborgs to the ground."

Depends on the system. In Dark Heresy, that's nasty.

In Wild Talents, we call that Tuesday.

• I must not chant in the languages of the damned to give the Paladin nightmares.
• If I keep taking out our enemies with called shots to the groin we will be fighting women more often.

Yes. Now, what hypothetical star is also thought to be a red dwarf?

"If there are any gods whose chief concern is man, they can't be very important gods." - Arthur C. Clarke

No, I can't play a blind Investigator named Kitsuki Terezi.

Still works.

edited 27th Apr '11 6:05:48 AM by Krautman

...and that's terrible.

If I want to threaten npcs by pointing unloaded guns at them and pulling the trigger, I have to remember Rule 1.

I think you need to point him towards the first two Fallout games, where a called shot to the groin does the same thing to a chick as to a guy. Because a 10mm doesn't discriminate based on internal plumbing.

That’s the epitome of privilege right there, not considering armed nazis a threat to your life. - Silasw

Yeah, females actually have more nerves down there. Scientific fact.

...and that's terrible.

• Wands of Wonder (or any other wands) do not make 'cha-chink' noises like a shotgun.
• I cannot challenge Noise Marines to a rock-off.
  • No, not even if I have an electric guitar.
    • And where the hell would I find an electric guitar anyway?
• If I decide to call Amaterasu 'Ammy', I deserve whatever I get.
• I cannot make my Geist manifest by shooting myself in the head with a pistol and shouting its name out loud.
• If my Techpriest starts talking like a /b/tard, he dies.
• I must always keep in mind that no, no one wants their possessions identified.

edited 27th Apr '11 12:51:28 PM by Icarael

"Stealing is a crime and drugs is a crime too BUT if you steal drugs the two crimes cancel out and it’s like basically doing a good."

Might have mentioned this already, but

• Even if the rules allow it, I am not allowed to have a Shadowborn Winterkin Dhampyr hybrid Wizard/Psion multiclassed into Warlock with a Dragonmark, a Spellscar, and a Psionic Wild Talent.

My name is Cu Chulainn. Beside the raging sea I am left to moan. Sorrow I am, for I brought down my only son.