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Solution: employ Redemptionists. They always wear red and are willing to die if they get to burn heretics. Just avoid doing anything remotely heretical yourself.
Lesbarian
"To have as many little familiar-esque things she can direct around as possible at any given time" is not a valid thing to optimise for.
Mura: -flips the bird to veterinary science with one hand and Euclidean geometry with the other-
Official Tesladyne Employee TM
Not allowed to encourage people in different campaigns to adopt annoying punning habits.
You are dazzled by my array of very legal documents.
The Singing Cat
I am not allowed to play a half-dragon kobold sorceror (draconic bloodline) with a pseudodragon familiar. That's just too much dragon for any one player.
I'm too old to be cute dammit
Were they draggin' the gameplay?
Official Tesladyne Employee TM
You are going to Hell for that one.
You are dazzled by my array of very legal documents.
Lesbarian
That was the worst pun I've ever heard.
Bear in mind, when I say this, I used to play Magic with Haven. I've heard some terrible puns. A lot of terrible puns. And that, my good man, was the worst.
Mura: -flips the bird to veterinary science with one hand and Euclidean geometry with the other-
I'm not allowed to point out how the reaction to a pun is generally better comedy than the pun itself.
Oh, wait...
Lesbarian
Not allowed to play any character that looks like it might be inspired by 40K ever again. Especially not in a 40K game.
Mura: -flips the bird to veterinary science with one hand and Euclidean geometry with the other-
WAAAGH!
I am intrigued as to how this happened. Did it involve pauldrons?
Just a harmless giant from a foreign land.
I am no longer allowed to quote literature while describing the surroundings to my players. Especially The Divine Comedy.
"You can reply to this Message!"
-I will not use Ghost Sound to speak exclusively in creepy reverb.
- There is no such thing as Ice Sharks, and I should stop trying to take precautions against them.
- The DM is not insisting that Ice Sharks don't exist because he's secretly planning to surprise us with them, and is trying to throw off suspicion.
Basically canon
Am not allowed to yell out "MY OWN CLONE! NOW NEITHER OF US WILL BE VIRGINS!" next time the DM forgets to delete our old pogs when revisiting a previous map.
pearlina brainrot affects millions of people worldwide. if you or a loved one are suffering from pearlina brainrot, call 1-800-GAY-NERDS
The Lunatic in Your Hall
When creating a character, I am encouraged to model them after the following:
- Jessica
- Kyle
- Alex
I will be lynched if they are modeled after the following:
- Nall
What are pogs and what system is that?
Lesbarian
Pog- token.
Mura: -flips the bird to veterinary science with one hand and Euclidean geometry with the other-
Who are Jessica, Kyle, Alex, and Nall?
Prince of the Universe!
In D&D...
- 1. Can't take all my feats and powers from sourcebooks
- 2. Can't name my Elf ranger Drizzt
- 3. My bard can't speak only in Dio lines
- 4. Crushing enemies & hearing the lamentations of their women is not an acceptable motivation for a non-evil character.
- 5. Can't call another player's halfling "Mr. Frodo"
- 6. Can't cover said halfling with ketchup and sacrifice him to a dragon
- 7. Lutes are not electric guitars
- 7a. That means my bard cannot play Power Metal
- 8. My bard did not get his powers from Black Sabbath
- 9. Cleric impersonator is not a real class
- 10. Elves aren't automatically bisexual
- 11. Vampire's can't be distracted by counting.
- 12. Lawful Amazing isn't an aligment
- 13. Those who use two handed weapons aren't Compensating for Something
- 14. My ranger can't take "boring NP Cs" as a favored enemy
- 15. A Super Saiyan prestige class is definitely illegal
- 16. Troll's do not sing "trololololo" in any setting
- 17. If told not to quote Monty Python And The Holy Grail, can't shout "help! help! I'm being repressed!"
p.s. All of these have come up at one point or another during or before play. Yep.
edited 20th Feb '13 9:21:44 PM by CrimsonChampion
I like smoke and lightning. Heavy metal thunder! Racing with the wind, and the feeling that I'm under.
It's Like Arguing on the Internet
Never allowed to say "Roll the dice to see if I make [insert other character name here] my bitch!" again.
Somehow you know that the time is right.
16: Oh yes they do. Pc. Troll Bard. I dare you.
Prince of the Universe!
Hell yeah! With troll strength and regen this bard wouldn't be very spoony... by Odin it would be awesome! I'd have to minmax to get a bard's charisma bonuses, but that won't be much trouble. Maybe I'll blast some Finntroll for his bard songs... and of course there's the possibility of him eating random characters... now the only problem is getting DM to allow it.
Spending three months acting out your Batman Gambit on the GM to get a free merit of Fluent Russian is impressive, but from hence forth discouraged when you had enough xp to buy it anyway.
Basically canon
Should probably stop calling our air genasi barbarian "Hefty Smurf".
edited 21st Feb '13 4:35:06 AM by Midna
pearlina brainrot affects millions of people worldwide. if you or a loved one are suffering from pearlina brainrot, call 1-800-GAY-NERDS
In Rogue Trader, not allowed to have my incredible expendable crew wear red uniforms. That shit's just not good for morale.
Mura: -flips the bird to veterinary science with one hand and Euclidean geometry with the other-