Things You are No Longer Allowed to Do in an RPG

now perhaps if we built an enormous wooden badger..

also, I'm limited to 3 Monty Python quips per game

I I play the thief, my first action may not be battling the fighter.

Fire Bolt is not good for nonlethal.

Let's generalize that... anything with "fire" in the name is not good for non-lethal.

• No longer allowed to use a Cobra-class destroyer as a dive bomber.
  • Even if it worked.

• Even if the party's summoner has been putting summonable creatures in everyone else's weapons and gear, I cannot call "dibs" on the ice maiden.
• If I try to take on an entire Old Gods cult with the assumption that the town guard is there to back me up, I should wait until the town guard actually arrives.
• Apparently, a player CAN decide to play a given NPC on a whim.^Context! One of our players, playing the Cloud Cuckoolander barbarian, was tasked with buying the party a new wagon after our old one was lost in the woods, but when he got to the wagon dealership, another player suddenly jumped in to play the wagon dealer like an Honest John's Dealership, down to trying to sell fancy wagons with racing stripes and spoilers, our GM ruling it was an entertaining enough diversion for him not to intervene. Eventually, the wagon dealer relented and decided to sell us the cheapest wagon he had- which turned out to be the wagon we had lost in the woods, complete with the hole in the roof, love stains and spider webbing we had left it with.

edited 25th Jun '16 6:22:53 PM by MapleSamurai

please tell me the dealer said "red ones go faster" at some point...

edited 26th Jun '16 4:51:56 AM by FieldMarshalFry

No, but the one with racing stripes was shilled to basically the same effect, while being very insistent that just painting racing stripes onto a plain wagon later wouldn't work, as those would be "streeps", not stripes.

Not allowed to start playing Roundabout when the GM is wrapping up the session (again, mainly because he didn't get it)

Not allowed to make a Siege Gunner Gunslinger and conspire with our Necromantic Shaman to begin 'collecting' a gun battery and 'crew' by 'aggressive recruiting'

you *BLAM!*ing them and then raising them?

Yes. By the time we have enough crew and guns for a battery of five we could have one cannon fire every round.

you cheeky dickwaffle!

also, quoting Hellsing Abridged will get me *BLAM!*ed by the Inquisitor for Chaos corruption

My Dark Heresy Psyker may not be based on Carnac the Magnificent.

having freezing powers, in any situation, is not an excuse for quoting bad ice puns from a certain movie.

And doing so in Paranoia is treason, registered or not.

Stabbing trees just in case they contain ambushers.

However, one should always stab a shrub because it is a(m)bush.

if I roll a natural 20 for my ballistic skill, I am not allowed to purchase any modifiers, the GM is sick of me derailing plots with super accurate Lasrifle fire and critical hits

I am limited to one (1) terrible accent a session.

As the GM I am forbidden from creating my 4 armed undead biomechanical constructs with mounting for MG-42's to those limbs.

edited 5th Aug '16 3:48:55 PM by TuefelHundenIV

This is for my coworkerbuddy in my Shadowrun game: he cannot "take out a million nguyen loan to open a pizza place" and take the money to the cyber doc, get chromed out, and bail on the loan.

Especially since I told if he does that, I'll roll a die. On a roll of a 1, he'll have ripped off Zurich-Orbital.

Just because my spell will protect us from when the bad guy's castle inevitably collapses when he dies, it doesn't mean we won't still be buried under a load of rubble.

Addendum: Can't tell the bad guy to build better foundations for his castle.

For my players. Nazi Orcs are not the other green meat and are not what is for dinner

edited 5th Aug '16 6:26:54 PM by TuefelHundenIV

For GMs: Make sure everyone is on the same page when it comes to terminology so that you don't have a character whose Fetch is a bear.

edited 13th Aug '16 8:23:28 PM by Aquatica1000

This one is from a friend. System is D20 Modern or something, the one where multiple worlds with differing tech levels have contact with each other.

• No matter how well you roll for blackmail, the gods of Love and Justice never started a flame war on the Sailor Moon forums.