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This is a "Wild Mass Guess" entry, where we pull out all the sanity stops on theorizing. The regular entry on this topic is elsewhere. Please see this programme note.
"Weird Al" Yankovic
The virus in Virus Alert is the virus from Snow Crash
Possibly in addition to the below, this virus seems to cause havoc with both machinery and the human body (permanent wedgies and a physical attraction to sheep stand out.)

The virus in Virus Alert is actually in the e-mail message containing the song.
So when you gave in to the song telling you to forward it on... you were actually just continuing the virus, which was real, and not a hoax. The only false detail mentioned in the song is that the virus was NOT in the "Stinky Cheese" message.

When I Was Your Age was told by multiple narrators/in the view of multiple people.
That's how the song managed to reach an end.

All of the food songs are sung by the same character with Grapefruit Diet being the end of the series.
There was been no song about food on either Poodle Hat or Straight Outta Lynwood. The album before that, Running With Scissors, had Grapefruit Diet, about a very fat man who is going on a diet. The guy from Grapefruit Diet is the same as the guy from Fat, and all of the songs dealing with food in between. Now that he's on a diet, there probably won't be another food song.
  • Piecing this together, it seems that this character is an overweight Italian-American who can speak passable Spanish, he's a parent, and he has suffered from addictions to bologna, rocky road ice cream, potatoes, spam, and Oreo cookie filling. He may have also become a waffle industry giant. Yipe.
    • Now I want to make Fat a Rock Opera with the Waffle King as a villain. (Somehow I see Waffle King as a Villain Song of the series.) And his addiction is really more to whatever is on his plate at the moment.
      • In that case, "Eat It" should probably be a flashback song about his childhood, explaining how his parents forced him into his gluttonous lifestyle. The problem is that this postdates two significant food songs, so either the songs need to be presented out of album order or the flashback needs to be three songs in.
    • Considering Trapped in a Drive-Thru could be a food song, could he be relapsing? Or could it be placed before Grapefruit Diet? Oh and congrats on the marriage, food guy.
      • It could be that his new wife has become a moderating influence in his life, so that he can now occasionally have some fast food without becoming obese again.
    • Would Living In The Fridge be in here? If so, where?
      • That's silly. We're listing songs about food.
      • It is about food. Namely food that's been left in the fridge for so long it may have started to develop rudimentary thought processes.
      • Presumably that's what became of any non-grapefruit food the fat guy has left in the fridge when he starts his grapefruit diet.
      • No, that sludge is from his room mate.
    • Theme From Rocky XIII is likely discussing his friend. Maybe he met his wife there because Girls Just Want To Have Lunch.
  • Another thing that should be noted is that Grapefruit Diet is basically the anti-Fat. Both songs are largely a string of various fat jokes, but while he is proud of his size in Fat, in Grapefruit Diet he realizes that it is a problem that needs to be solved.
  • Here is an idea: Trapped in the Drive Thru is a nightmare abut losing his respect if he becomes lean. Living in the Fridge is him making excuses. I can't go on a diet now, my food will go bad! Of course, he will overcome this.

The viewpoint character in "You Don't Love Me Anymore" is the same as the one in Bruno Mars's "Grenade".
He's a bit more savvy about her personality in "Grenade", but his feelings haven't changed, as both songs are about a guy who's hopelessly in love with a woman who is sufficiently not into him to do such things as administer beatings and tamper with his brakes, topics that come up in both songs. Everything he describes in the chorus of "Grenade" is something she's actually done to him (tossed him grenades, shot him in the head, thrown him in front of a train, etc.) And yet he is still willing to take her back, and may in fact be becoming masochistic.

Also, the piano he's pulling contains Robert Goulet's body, and he's trying to get rid of the evidence.

One Day, Al will parody one of his original songs
The Weird Al Effect will apply to Weird Al regarding ALL music of the past few decades
INCLUDING The Beatles, Bob Dylan and other respected artists.

"Weird Al" Yankovic turned to music as therapy against an eating disorder.
Look at his songs. "Fat". "Eat It". "My Bologna". "Lasagna". "I Love Rocky Road". "Living in the Fridge". "Spam". "Addicted to Spuds". "Girls Just Want to Have Lunch". "Taco Grande". "Waffle King". "Grapefruit Diet". I posit that no other human being has ever written this many songs about food. Not to mention other things, such as the fact that he did a much-belated parody of "MacArthur Park" (which is about a cake), and "Albuquerque" is bookended with a rant about sauerkraut and has a roughly one-minute stretch where all he does is list different types of doughnuts. But hey, it seems to have worked for him; he's been thin as a rake throughout recorded history, except during parts of the "Fat" video.
  • That's because his eating disorder is/was bulimia.

One day, a Weird Al tribute album will be made with the original artists singing their parodies.
Because it would be AWESOME.
  • You have successfully made Michael Jackson's death even more tragic.
  • But "Eat It" won't be sung by Michael Jackson for... obvious reasons. It will be instead sung by the Far East Movement.
    • Neither will Kurt Cobain be able to sing "Smells Like Nirvana", but perhaps Dave Grohl and Krist Novoselic will...
      • Or The Muppets Barbershop Quartet...

"Skipper Dan" applies to Weird Al's life.
I'm sure when he's deep in a tour sometimes he wishes he was working a humble desk job or something more fitting to his education - something that would give him more time at home with the family. I'm not saying he regrets it - it's just even in the best jobs you have days you wish you were doing something else. He was a a grade-A student, graduated early, went to Cal Polytechnic, etc - and now he's a showman.
  • He's said before that one of his main drives to get an education was so that he would have something to fall back on if his music career didn't pan out.
    • He's also said that he went with a degree in architecture because other people told him he'd be good at it, and he's rather heavily implied he wouldn't have liked doing it for a living.

Weird Al is Pinkie Pie's father.
That's why Pinkie's always singing wacky songs... she learned them from Dad! Her Amish family was imaginary, but was heavily inspired by "Amish Paradise".
  • Well, we've got Cheese Sanwich, a pony based on and voiced by Al now. Maybe he's her real father...
    • Apparently Jossed. Cheese Sandwich, in his colthood, encountered Pinkie Pie, who was just as young at that time.

Skipper Dan is stretching the truth.
Despite what he says, his "phenomenal rave reviews" were really pretty average. He's not the worst actor who came down the pike, but he's hardly the best. He just can't stop thinking about his Glory Days, which look better to him in hindsight.

The narrator of "Mr. Frump in the Iron Lung" pulled the plug himself.
What Mr. Frump was saying was to kill him.
  • Or the narrator was tormenting Mr. Frump for years.
    • My take is that Mr. Frump was wanting to die, but the narrator's annoyingly sunny disposition and inability to understand his request was driving him more and more crazy.
      • If Al was playing that accordion during the visits, I can hardly blame Mr. Frump.

One day, Al's daughter Nina will follow up in her father's footsteps.
And may very be just as successful. Heck, before that, they might even do a father-daughter duet!
  • It worked with Ozzy Osbourne and his daughter...for a given value of "worked."

Al actually sued some, if not all, of the companies he mentions in "I'll Sue Ya."
And he won each lawsuit.

The virus in Virus Alert is actually the Metavirus.
  • What other virus could be so destructive? It translates your documents into "Swahili", but would an American know the difference between Swahili and Babylonian? Not to mention that it obviously messes with both your computer and you.("Make you physically attracted sheep" for example.)

The viewpoint character in Truck Drivin' Song is female.
Sure, Weird Al used a deeper voice to sing it, but nothing in the song specifies that the character is male. It's just a very fashion-conscious female driver.
  • The main counterpoint is that this song is meant to be an American parallel to the Lumberjack Song that Monty Python did.

Pauly Shore became an Acceptable Target in Al's music due to A Goofy Movie fulfilling a prophecy from a subliminal message
Obviously, Pauly Shore isn't an Unacceptable Target in general, far from it, but Weird Al's songs pick on him on multiple occasions. The earliest instance of Pauly Shore-bashing in a song is in "Albuquerque", which was released in 1999. A Goofy Movie came out in 1995. But what does that have to do with anything? Pauly's character in that movie was shown with a can of Cheez Whiz, not once, but three times in his extremely limited screentime, including eating it straight from the can and from a giant blob in his hand. Now, in the song "Nature Trail to Hell" (released in 1984), there is a subliminal message that says "Satan eats Cheez Whiz." Clearly, no one is more interested in eating Cheez Whiz than this character, so the character must be Satan. Since Pauly Shore speaks for him, he must be Satan, and Weird Al simply pokes fun at him to keep him in line and prevent him from destroying the world.

The couple in "Trapped in the Drive-Thru" is having serious marital problems
This one is somewhat implied in the song. They are constantly arguing. She asks him where his wallet is, and he dodges the question. She possibly suspects him of cheating. He is possibly cheating. She sounds suspicious when the lady at the window asks if he is Paul. She might suspect that Paul is an alias he uses to pick up women.
  • The arguments sound like an average married couple's mild tiffs than anything serious, perhaps excepting the part about Paul.

Weird Al's gonna write a parody song that recaps the events of one of the Star Wars sequel trilogy films
He already has "Yoda" and "The Saga Begins" which recaps the events of The Empire Strikes Back and The Phantom Menace respectively. It would be extremely surprising if he were to pass up an opportunity to make a parody song for Episode VII/VIII/IX.

Bernie from "The Biggest Ball Of Twine In Minnesota" hitchhiked with the narrator's family entirely as an elaborate scheme to steal their camera
It is the very first thing he does when he gets the opportunity. Maybe he makes all his money hitchhiking across the US with tourists, gaining their trust, and stealing their expensive cameras in order to sell them to pawn shops for cash.

The hermaphrodite mentioned in "Jerry Springer" as being on the same show as the slut and the crack ho is the same one who stole the protagonist's snorkel in "Albuquerque."
Note that these songs both appear on Running With Scissors and that the term "hermaphrodite" does not appear elsewhere in Al's oeuvre.
YesWMG/MusicYoure So Vain Theories

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