WMG / Haruhi Suzumiya Kyon

Kyons real name is Kyonosuke Sudo

I think i may have found this out from a screenshot from the Haruhi Movie, in which we see the Alt!Kyons phone- mixed with Tsuruya calling him Kyorosuke, a 'nyoro' version of the real name Kyonosuke- so his real name is Kyonosuke Sudo , it would make sense as his register place is infront of haruhi suzumiya!

Kyon is just a druggie

And the entire weird/zany aspect of the series is a result of his hallucinations - Haruhi is a just a super Genki Girl, Nagato is just a introveted book-reader, Itsuki is just an Ambiguously Gay guy, etc.

Kyon has psychic powers, but is unaware and cannot control them.
This is why everyone can hear what he thinks, whether he wants them to or not.

Kyon is either a casnova or The Charmer.
He tries to potray himself as a decent guy who doesn't like that he has a harem of girls that like him.

Kyon is of hispanic origin.
Expanding on the kyon is a foreigner theory, to me he looks like someone who either came from Latin America or Souhthern Spain due to this hair and skin color. Also since his sisters is white, which indicates that they are probaly mixed race, and hispanic people tend to be mixed race. Also a Spanish name would sound more unusual to a Japanese person than an American name.

Kyon is half-Native American.
Another possibility thrown into the mix. Traditional Native American surnames can often be complex and descriptive and usually sound pretty damn awesome.

Kyon and his sister are not related by blood.
Either one or both of them are adopted. They really don't look anything alike and he doesn't seem to have any stories or memories about her from when she was a very small baby. He's also mentioned having a crush on his cousin without any trace of him feeling awkward about it. This could be because he's not actually related to her.
  • This could be because in Japan, it's legal and somewhat common to marry first cousins.

We won't meet any sliders, because John Smith hadn't.
When John Smith told three years ago's Haruhi that he hadn't met any sliders (yet), this made her (subconsciously) think of them as less likely to exist than aliens, time travelers, and espers. This explains why she only created those three groups, which explains why Kyon never met any, making this another Stable Time Loop. Of course, book 9 suggests that this will be Jossed soon, but it's still possible.
  • Not to mention the Sliders that appear (very briefly) near the end of season 2 of the anime.

John Smith in Japanese Hirigana means 'I'm a Cicada'
I got bored and loaded up charmap from Start —> Run and selected the MS Mincho font. I went to the Hirigana characters and selected these:

ぞ (Zo) ん (N) せ (Se) み (Mi) す (Su)

ぞんせみす. Zonsemisu. Zon Semisu. John Smith. I'm pretty sure that's how they said it in the subbed TMOHS. (And yes, I know that usually it would be written in Katakana.) So I put these characters into Google Translate (Japanese to English), and guess what I got? Well, see for yourself on Google Translate if you want to. The result was these words:

I'm a Cicada

Could this be a serious reference to something? Perhaps something to do with the final episode of Endless Eight? Well, I still think it's pretty cool.
  • Actually, it is ジョン・スミス (Jon Sumisu), or じょんすみす, if you prefer Hiragana. As far as I can tell that does not really translate to anything.
    • ジョン (Jon). キョン (Kyon). Makes sense.

Kyon is a physical manifestation of Haruhi's desire to have an ordinary life.
If Yuki, Mikuru and Itsuki are there because Haruhi wants to meet supernatural beings, Kyon is there because part of Haruhi wants to have an ordinary life. Kyon represents Haruhi's wish to fall for an ordinary guy and life a normal life.

Fujiwara is Kyon in the future
The obvious alias tipped me off. His ultimate goal is to prevent himself from becoming such a jerk in the first place.
  • So, Kyon becomes Archer?. Didn't see that one coming. Does that make Yuki Saber, or does it make Haruhi Rin?
    • To get in before anyone else says it, I demand fan art of Haruhi cosplaying as Rin Tohsaka.
      • Already disproved in Surprise by Fujiwara himself when he reveals that he is Mikuru's little brother from a different time line than the one that Mikuru(big) comes from. His entire reason for traveling back in time? So that his big sister, Mikuru, doesn't disappear from his timeline.

Assuming Itsuki didn't lie then Kyon does have a special ability. He is the archetype of normal.

Essentially the opposite of Kyon = God theory. Kyon is so absolutely normal that he is immune to the larger reality warping. He is so normal that having a an "evil counterpart" in the Anti-SOS brigade would negate his normalness. So one one doesn't exist. His role is in being the embodiment of normal also means he is a reality anchor. He's the universe's own willing suspension of disbelief in flesh.

This doesn't mean he is God. The power is still in Haruhi/Sasaki/whoever. Closed spaces are just built up tension of said god powers trying to forcibly pull on the anchor. If the tension grows enough Kyon could/would/has been forcibly yanked along.

Hypothetical examples:
  • The Anti-SOS Brigade need Kyon and Sasaki to agree on her becoming god again not because Kyon's the source of the powers, but her just spontaneously gaining godhood from Haruhi is just too strange with Sasaki. Any attempts would snap the powers back to Haruhi.
  • In the school film things accelerate as Kyon gradually becomes used to things becoming out of control.
    • If Haruhi can change things drastically as in the school film why the closed spaces? Because changes if done too rapidly hit a bottleneck. Closed spaces form when the current god's abilities begin to build up against Kyon's normalness.
  • Itsuki is gradually adjusting Kyon to the strangeness as a form of defense. Imagine if Kyon got pulled into that closed space by himself with just Haruhi? Nervous break down and possible complete loss of disbelief. Letting Kyon in on the "gag" allows the anchor some slack in the tether.
  • The Anti-Haruhi's closed spaces are happy because Kyon believes the world to not be that perfect. Haruhi's are heck with monsters because Kyon knows the world isn't that strange.

Kyon has skin cancer.
That's a big-ass mole on that neck of his. Was it even there before the island trip? If so, was it that big? Changes in size and shape, or appearance of new moles, may indicate melanoma, a very dangerous form of skin cancer.
  • I believe the mole serves to show that Kyon is strait up lying when he tells Koizumi that he knew from the get go that the island trip was staged.
  • Actually, it is supposed to be a reference to the Snow Mountain Syndrome story, in which it is a tip-off for a certain character to know which Kyon is real.

Kyon is narrating because he's relating the story over his blog.
The narration, the exaggeration, the fuzzy-edged-love-o-vision for Mikuru, and the fanservicey camera angles.
  • And he's got hidden cameras everywhere club members are expected to be (small cameras all over the club room, looking out windows of their classrooms onto the quad and athletic fields, a remote-control camera facing the stairs and roof, a buttonhole camera sewn into Haruhi's hat during the baseball episode where she wouldn;t find it). This is why, in the episode where Kyon retrieves the heater, Yuki puts a book in her locker between the camera and Haruhi stripping down Mikuri and then pauses for nearly a minute (staring not at the book, but the camera). Itsuki may or may not be in on it, depending on whether the neckmole shot in the island episode was filmed on location or recreated. Mikuru almost definitely does not know.
  • Alternatively...

Kyon is narrating because it's several years in to the future, Haruhi's power is discovered by the general population and Kyon is writing a book about how he came to know the girl with reality-warping powers.
Well, it's not entirely impossible.
  • Jossed by Endless Eight, since he narrates loops that he wouldn't remember years later in the future.
    • Not in the original short story; we only see the very last iteration.

Kyon is or will be the "slider".
This is the one Speculative Fiction trope Haruhi brings up in her opening speech that hasn't shown up yet. Several times in the novels, Kyon has wondered when one of these guys is going to show up to complete the list. It also explains why all this weird stuff suddenly starts happening to him when he gets to High School (he makes his first leap without realizing it and ends up in Dimension Haruhi), why he ends up in Haruhi's new universe when she starts creating it (survival instinct causes his powers to kick in), and finally why he remembers the Haruhiverse when Yuki creates her new universe in Disappearance. Yuki didn't actually change his history; he just Slid there. Again, a survival reflex action. Of course, Itsuki claims Kyon is perfectly normal, but can we really trust him? ....no.
  • Alternatively, Haruhi has yet to make Kyon a Slider, but will. Aside from the main trio of supernatural characters Haruhi wanted to meet, interdimensional "sliders" are brought up. At one point in the novels, Kyon is impatient that a slider hasn't appeared yet. If Haruhi realizes (or already has realized) that Kyon is "John Smith", she may turn him into a slider. She has already been fed the identities of Itsuki, Yuki, and Mikuru, and the idea that Kyon is important in some way. "Slider" was the fourth type on her list, so she could conceivably decide that Kyon has a unique ability to jump between dimensions.
    • And then there's that odd alpha/beta universe split in the latest novel, which has yet to be explained...
    • Seriously, that practically proves the whole deal. There's past tense narration of two apparently parallel universes. It stands to reason that one Kyon will gain the memories of his other self. I think that it will manifest as an awareness of parallel selves and possibly the ability to switch with them.
      • Turns out you were partially correct. The two time lines are just that, two time lines. They end up being joined together and both Kyons fuse together, and Kyon then has a two sets of memories from the past week. These weren't alternate Kyons however, they were both Kyon. It wasn't so much a slider incident, so much as time diverging and reuniting, and it's even implied that this can and does happen multiple times
    • Methinks that the slider is already there, namely in the alpha-6 chapter, where Kyon strangely miscounts the number of first years, and then describes a perfect first year who seems to be pure and innocent, as well as her unique feature of her hair curling up at the ends like a smiley face. Given that a girl who calls him senpai appears in alpha-1 chapter via telephone, and he doesn't recognize her, it does seem that she will be important.
      • Turns out this girl is NOT a slider. It's even specifically denied by Yuki before Kyon even has a chance to ask. She's actually a manifestation of Haruhi's subconscious created when Haruhi split the timeline in order to protect Kyon and Yuki from the danger of Fujiwara and Kuyo.
      • Remember, friends! All good Five Man Bands eventually get a Sixth Ranger!
      • In a sense Yasumi really was the sixth ranger because she's actually was made the sixth official SOS Brigade member by Haruhi. It doesn't last though.
      • Tsuruya's already kind of the Sixth Ranger, though. She was even name an Honorary Member during the Snow Mountain Syndrome story. A second Sixth Ranger is hardly implausible, though...
      • Tsuruya isn't the Sixth Ranger, she's the Ensemble Darkhorse.
  • Alternatively, an Alternate Universe Kyon is the slider, and he will join the Anti-SOS Brigade as the only Evil Twin of the group
  • Kyon's father is the slider. Kyon's altogether too willing to accept the weirdness, his father's never seen or even hinted at existing in anime or novels, and so obviously he's shoved off to another dimension and Kyon's mom just doesen't mention it to keep up appearances. The kids just take it in stride and say nothing.

Kyon is a slider from the world before 3 years ago.
Basically, he's the only one from that world that Haruhi saved because he believed in such things. He doesn't know it though since the world is more or less the same (just with a lot mroe hidden stuff).

Kyon is a telepath
This isn't the same thing as an Esper, unless Itsuki was lying. We see several instances of Kyon narrating or apparently thinking something...and then someone responds to it as if he had said it out loud. This makes sense when Haruhi does it, (she reads his thought bubbles?) but Kyon's friends have done it at least once as well. This could dovetail into the "Kyon is really the god" theory.
  • Fun fact! Originally in the writers notes, Kyon was going to be an Esper.
  • Kyon's thoughts are also heard by others during flashbacks involving events that happened prior to three years ago which means his telepathy isn't caused by Haruhi.
    • It's implied that the organization has serious material backing from Tsuruya's familiy, who are super wealthy. Arakawa and Mori are implied to have skills that you would not typically find in most of the civilian population. The organization probably has the means to initiate a private investigation of an individual.
  • Kyon is also an Unreliable Narrator, so it is unclear how often his "thoughts" are actually thoughts and not spoken out loud.

The supernatural elements are Kyon's hallucinations.
They only show up after Nagato takes him home and talks at him. Thus, she slipped him something in the team and the supernatural elements are a result of mental trauma brought on by a somewhat unusual fetish on Yuki's part. Mikuru's in on it as well; her tea is also spiked.
  • Let's take note of the intensely surreal graphics used during Yuki and Kyon's conversation, shall we?

Kyon is a manifestation of Haruhi's desire to have a normal life.
Kyon's sexy, fit, sensitive, helps those around him, doesn't leave friends behind ... and just happens to notice the lonely, unpopular, friendless geek sitting alone in the back of class ... and is just conveniently skeptical and blunt enough to bring Haruhi down from most of her crazy moments. While the rest of the SOS Brigade represent different forms of supernatural powers Haruhi wants to see in reality, Kyon is similarly a manifestation of (nearly) every little girl's dream to find someone to settle down with and have a storybook Happily Ever After.
  • Gosh darn it, This troper was writing that fanfic.
    • Tell this troper when you're done, I'd like to read it.

Kyon's real given name is Kiyohiko
"Kyon" is "Kiyo" compressed into "Kyo" and with an -n added. The "-hiko" part is a common ending for male names.
  • I'm more inclined to think it's "Kyousuke". It's slightly longer than "Kiyohiko" and doesn't need mixing the syllables - just take the first one and add "n" in the end and you get "Kyon", and kids (such as Kyon's sister) are known for creating nicknames in such ways. And there's also Tsuruya calling him something similar later in the novels...

Kyon is going to get sick of this nonsense.
No, not the fact that Time Travellers, Aliens, and Espers exist. He's fine with that. It's all the nonsense with secret societies and manipulation that hurts his friends. He's going to get mad. This will not be an unstoppable rage; but the righteous anger of one who knows exactly how the universe works.
  • Goosebumps.
  • Could that be the reason why Kyon has hair reminiscent of a young Julius Caesar? As this Troper recalls, Caesar got sick of all the nonsense in Rome, and he led an army over the Rubicon.
  • Kyon is a pretty impressive dude. He doesn't even attempt to influence Haruhi for his own benefit, not even indirectly, but when you threaten his friends he is ready, willing, and able to destroy the universe if that's what it takes. If he seriously goes on the warpath, nothing is going to stand in his way.
    • IS going to, why not just is, I mean he did in essence make all of us go Did You Just Flip Off Cthulhu? to the IDE at the end of disappearance... I think he's really starting to get sick of the conspiracies and the whole bloody Masquerade.

Kyon's personality isn't really that different from Haruhi's; Sasaki influenced him so badly, that he became a Deadpan Snarker .
In the prolouge, Kyon even states, that he once was a bit like Haruhi is portrayed. But he stopped "being childish", hmmm.... around the same time, he made "friends" with Sasaki?! To connect this with the "Haruhi and Kyon are both god" theory; I think, there are three godnesses: Haruhi, Kyon and Sasaki. Kyon is the one, who regulates between Sasaki and Haruhi, making one of the two always dominant. Sasaki was always aware of her powers and realized, that the influence of Kyon, back then still very Haruhi-like, could change the universe in a way she doesn't want it to be, and therefore "deactivated" him, by feeding him her mind piece by piece. All she had to do, was attending the same cram school as him. Her "plan", however, backfired, by surpressing his real wishes and personality under Sasaki's influence, she made his subcontious desires for the extraordinary even stronger, setting the "in charge for intergalactic reality-warping"-button in his mind on "Haruhi" by default. This is the reason, why everybody wants Kyon on their side. If he ever gets really and completly convinced, that Sasaki was the better choice, she would automatically be the one in charge again.
  • But, the Anti-SOS Brigade said that they need both Kyon and Sasaki's consent for her to regain her powers and Sasaki has flat out said that she can't handle them.

Kyon is related to Captain Picard.
They're both experts at the Face Palm! It has to be genetic!
  • Wait, if Haruhi is Q...

The Computer Society President is related to Kyon
Either he's an unknown cousin, or a long-lost sibling. This is why his name is never heard, despite being a relatively important character; he's party to whatever bizarre tradition keeps us from knowing the real name of anyone in Kyon's family.
  • Alternatively, The Computer Society President is the 'slider' and is actually Kyon from an Alternate Universe.
    • In that case, then a version of Kyon has in fact groped Mikuru. Unwillingly, but still.

Kyon and his sister aren't Japanese
They're either immigrants or the children of immigrants. Their real names have not been revealed to prevent that becoming known. Also, in one of the books, Kyon thinks John Smith would be a sensible alias; if he was Japanese, you'd think he'd go by Takeshi Kuroyama or something.
  • I'll take this one step further...
  • Who said he thought it was a sensible alias? He admits it's an alias almost immediately — obviously he wasn't trying to convince her that John Smith is really his name.
    • Even if he didn't chose "John Smith" as a sensible alias, it is still telling that it is the first alias that comes to his mind.
  • His and his sister's real names are not revealed, not just to prevent readers from knowing they are immigrants, but to prevent Japanese from knowing they are immigrants: the Japanese can be quite xenophobic. Also explains their parents' absentee status.
  • Might be a side effect of Koizumi and Kyon's character design switch: while Haruhi wants a mysterious transfer student, she gets the local Koizumi, who is an esper. Likewise, Kyon was originally meant to be the esper, but has been assigned the role of "foreigner with a mysterious name".
  • Could explain Kyon's attachment to Mikuru: during Endless Eight, Mikuru makes comments to the effect of being surprised by "this time's" clothing/customs. Her status as a chronological immigrant prompts sympathy from Kyon, a geographical immigrant.
  • This, given this troper's understanding of Japanese "alphabetical order" conventions, is highly unlikely. Foreign names are written in katakana, which come after hiragana, and thus he'd introduce himself after all the Japanese students (including Haruhi).
    • Who says his name has to be written in katakana?
    • Keep in mind they were introducing themselves according to seat order, not alphabetical.
  • He probably chose the name since he didn't want Haruhi to bump into someone with the same name in the intervening three four years.

Kyon is Korean.
  • This explains his unusual nickname, and the difficult (to the Japanese) nature of his (supposedly equally unusual) real name.
    • It also explains why Haruhi hasn't introduced him to her parents,and why he rarely sees his cousin.
      • The series is also set (though never explicitly) in the vicinity of Kobe and Osaka, which has an extremely high concentration of Koreans (both immigrants and those left over from Japan's colonial days). It's not impossible, and his nickname's quick spread among people around him could then be interpreted as using his stupid nickname in avoidance of outing him as an ethnicity that's rather disliked in some quarters of Japanese society.
      • Also explains why (in the novels) Taniguchi and Kunikida thought Kyon might be able to get extra kimchi at the cultural festival.
    • Not surprisingly, this theory is met with heaps of scorn from Japanese fans.

Kyon and his sister are only half-Japanese
He was born in the United States but his family moved back to Japan shortly before his sister was born. This explains some of his Gratuitous English and knowledge of western culture and could also explain his name (with an English first name, a middle name, and a Japanese surname. Or a Japanese first name and an English middle name and surname) which is reportedly regal sounding and hard to say. It also helps to frame his oft-mentioned hatred of his morning commute because when he was living in the states he took the bus to school. As to which of his parents is non-Japanese I offer no theories. It's possible he could simply resemble one over the other or half of his parentage is of a race that wouldn't give him any noticeable non-Asian or who is Asian but was born and raised in the States themselves for one or more generations. This is also the reason for his laid-back personality and his First-Name Basis with Haruhi (using first names for classmates, especially ones who sit near you) is more common in American schools.
  • But he calls Yuki, Mikuru, and Itsuki Nagato, Asahina-san, and Koizumi, respectively. For Mikuru, he presumably adds -san out of admiration; for Nagato, he omits it out of familiarity; and for Itsuki, he omits it out of annoyance. He also calls Kunikida and Taniguchi by their last names. He only calls Haruhi by her first name, which I think is a sign of familiarity by prolonged association rather than any cultural background.

The world will become more supernatural/chaotic as Kyon continues to accept weirdness
Kyon is supposed to keep Haruhi's powers and emotions in check, but he's been slowly adapting to all the weirdness around him. Even more, he enjoys his exciting and abnormal life. As he stops wanting a normal reality, he won't put so much into keeping Haruhi stable. This is also why more supernatural characters and organizations come out of the woodwork as the novels progress. If Kyon is the Reality Warper instead of (or alongside) Haruhi, this still works just as well.

Kyon is King Arthur reborn
Assuming he's not Japanese, but his name is "regal sounding" and "hard to spell" (a detail from the novels, according to our own page on the series)... who's more regal than the Once and Future King himself? I don't know how you'd Japanize 'Arthur', though, so I can't say anything regarding how difficult it would be to spell. Kyon no Imouto, of course, is Morgana. She was reborn some years after he was. What possible evidence could I have for this? Rule of Cool, man, Rule of Cool.
  • According to one of those 'your name in Japanese' sites, Arthur would get pretty mangled in the translation process, with the result being pronounced 'Aasa'.
  • But this would mean that Kyon is also Saber...which opens up a whole new level of disturbing implications.
    • No no, that's the gender-flipped universe Kyonko who's Saber. In the Haruhi version of the universe, King Arthur is a male.
Kyon from the future ensured Haruhi Suzumiya gets her powers.
This is all based off speculation from the ninth novel: There's one time loop that never got started, and that time loop is the one where Kyon paints the symbols on the field. Therefore, originally, that did not happen until time travel was created, and that point in time was the earliest necessary time to travel back to. In a previous time line, Sasaki was the real "goddess" so to speak. At this point, Sasaki wished that nothing spectacular would ever happen again, or perhaps that no love would ever occur. She believes love is poisonous and the world falls into a dull, lifeless place, all except for Kyon, the only person who she did not wish to or could not change. Kyon has been shown to be special in some way, perhaps he wrested control away from her and gave it to a chaotic love interest in the future, in other words Haruhi. Haruhi became self aware and wished for time traveling, and Kyon formed the SOS brigade in the future. He then used Future Mikuru and his past self to create a Stable Time Loop where Kyon transfers Sasaki's powers to himself the moment she gains her powers. It's possible Haruhi from the future wished that she would have a normal high school life. Note that this could also give the other two of Sasaki's followers motivations. Kuyoh doesn't want mystical things to exist and Fujiwara hates time traveling.
  • Er...what? All I got out of that was some confusion between "the event" 3YA and Tanabata 3YA, and Haruhi didn't really need Kyon to paint the symbols for her.

Seriously. Just give Kyon glasses and a goatee, throw that signature hat on him, and there you go.

Kuyoh is evolving!

A interesting theory, quoted from Animesuki:

Kuyoh seems to be able to mimic and absorb the other interface's abilities.

At first, she seemed to be like a lowgrade Yuki, barely able to assert any comprehensive sentance. But after the contact with Kimidori in the cafe, her linguistic skills took a sudden leap. The more time she spent near Asakura, the better and better she got, to where she even mimiced her smile. Why did she attack Kyon? Because Asakura was. Kimidori's presence probably nuetralized some of that hostility, but if the DITE doesn't do something quick, Kuyoh's going to have all the capabilities of all their interfaces.

Upon further reflection, her starting point probably WAS due to the brief period in Snow Mountain, where the Canopy Domain got a glimpse of Yuki. (Hence the stoic face, the broken sentances, and the attraction to Kyon.

  • Interesting theory, but it doesn't take into account that when she was with Taniguchi she would occasionally get very talkative, especially about topics such as evolution (and cats), so it's wrong to correlate her increased speaking capability to her interaction with Kimidori.

Kyon isn't nearly as infatuated with Mikuru as he claims
His seeming obsession with her is just an odd way of denying (to the readers, or to himself) that he's in love with Haruhi. This troper finds that the constant praise Mikuru gets from him is a bit much. Of course, this only works if the above theory is true
  • It seems possible that he exaggerates how he feels. There are lots of different kinds of attraction. Perhaps he's most physically attracted to Mikuru. How often does he talk about her as a person besides that she's cute? He has no confidence in her abilities or reliability. So maybe he's infatuated, but recognizes it as such and doesn't put much credence in the idea of a relationship beyond flirting.
    • Subpoint to avoid gigantic paragraphs, possibly Mikuru figures this out and was more attracted than he was, resulting in future Mikuru's 'affectionate' behavior and urge for him not to get too close to Mikuru.
    • This troper points out that Mikuru is also a much more normal crush to have than Haruhi. She fits in very nicely with the ideal Japanese woman. Haruhi, of course, is much more unusual.
    • This troper would also like to remind other tropers that, despite his erudite prose, Kyon is 16. He's practically bound to exaggerate any sort of attraction to a "safe" girl like Mikuru to the logical extreme, while in Haruhi's case, he goes to the same extreme lengths to deny an attraction that obviously makes him uncomfortable. I mean, surely most of the people reading this have been through that age, judging by the Troper Demographics...
      • This troper remembers being a teenage boy, and thinks that Kyon likes both, but for different reasons. Mikuru for the 'really cute older girl with a rack you can lose change in' side of things, and Haruhi for the 'interesting girl my age with a nice ass' angle.
      • In addition to all the above, Kyon has been under peer pressure from Tanaguchi and Kunakida (sp) since first meeting Haruhi to not get too interested in her, in defiance of this he still made a more than 'just being friendly' effort to get to know her. On finally cracking Haruhi's icey persona he then goes about trying to prove to all concerned that he isn't interested which definitely points to a genuine crush rather than a safe but distant infatuation that he shows towards Mikuru.

Kyon's real name is Lawrence.
This is an expansion on the above theory about Kyon not being Japanese. Haruhi at one point mentions that Kyon's real name is hard to say, and Lawrence would be hard for a Japanese person to pronounce. It also brings to mind TE Lawrence, of Lawrence of Arabia fame, a British soldier who wielded considerable power in the Middle East during his lifetime and which ties in somewhat with the statement that Kyon has a 'regal-sounding' name.
  • This Troper is well acquainted with the theory that Lawrence is Lelouch, but for first time sees a theory that Kyon is Lawrence. Also, Horo is Haruhi? Damn. It actually makes sense, imagine what happens if Haruhi becomes infatuated with the middle ages? Then the shepherd girl is Mikuru.

Kyon, who is a slider, comes actually from another universe. And was adopted.
It's all a Laser-Guided Amnesia. In the universe, where Kyon came from, Sasaki was "god", but Kyon rebeled and wanted to get Haruhi from the other universe to fight Sasaki, however, Sasaki managed to erase his memory before he could escape. That's why Kyon's the only one Haruhi's power don't seem to have an as great effect on. Now, Sasaki trying to get him away from Haruhi, before the memory-drain wears of and he can call her in as Sasaki-destruction weapon.
  • So, why did she tell Kyon she doesn't want her powers back, and that she couldn't handle them if she did get them back?
    • She was lying?
    • She wasn't the same Sakaki as the one from his old universe, but merely had similar memories? The data explosion and time rift could have been thanks to two of a single new being simultaneously appearing in the universe (one of the Slider Kyon and one of Kyon travelling to that time). Unless I've got the timing wrong.

Kyon is the only truly normal person in the entire world.
Two possibilities under this possibility: Their powers are dormant, and need to be unlocked by Haruhi. Or, they all know about their powers, but not that everyone has powers; therefore, they gather in small groups that attempt to hide their powers from others. Kyon is normal he is the counterpart to Haruhi; while she is unique because she controls the powers of everyone in the world, he is unique because she has no control over him.
  • By definition, wouldn't that make him the only special person then? But seriously, the idea that her power does not work on him is interesting, it explains his disinterest in her no matter what she does (except when she's genuinely being a decent person like with ENOZ) despite the fact that she clearly DOES want something from him.

Kyon was also at the Game three years ago.
Either directly behind Haruhi or at the same location on the 1st base line, most likely.
  • I lost the Game.
    • You're the Hanshin Tigers?!
  • Given some of the insane time loops I wouldn't be surprised if the Kyon from that time frame was behind her, the present Kyon was at the 1st base line and a Kyon from the future was actually playing the game in some capacity.

Kyon's real name is Genghis
Or perhaps the name of one of the other Khans. As they ruled a large portion of Asia, it definitely qualifies as regal sounding, and the jump from Khan to Kyon is an easy one to make.
  • Which would explain why he introduces himself as thus to avoid ridicule to have the same name as a popular lamb dish.

Kyon doesn't realise Haruhi's feelings for him because she doesn't want him to
It would explain why Kyon, whos shown how intuitive on feelings and motives previously just doesn't seem to get it.
  • He notices, he's just in denial. At least, that's my interpretation.

The SOS Brigade and Haruhi are all Kyon's imaginary friends. The real events take place in:
Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends. Kyon is in fact Mac.

Fujiwara is future Kyon.
Both Kyon and Fujiwara use obviously fake names when they time travel, and both have acted against Mikuru's organization.
  • A powerful sometimes-foe is a more cynical version of the lead male...this sounds suspiciously familiar.
    • According

Haruhi has no powers without Kyon.
The power burst first appeared when Kyon went back in time to help Haruhi. She was dormant for three years until she and Kyon reunited. Even her world destroying monsters do not really destroy the world and only really threaten one person — Kyon — and only when they are together in a dream.
  • Haruhi is aware of this and has done everything possible to keep Kyon interested, including dressing Mikuru up in his favorite outfits and creating an entire world just to entice him. She is afraid that she would not be enough to keep him interested on her own.

Kyon's real name is Hideki Motosuwa.
Well, just look at who voices him.
Kyon drawing the message for Haruhi three/four years ago is why he is important.
it may or may not have been necessary for someone in the world Haruhi created to draw it but it was not necessary for Kyon to draw it. if someone else had done it they would have the role Kyon currently has and Kyon would just be Sasaki's friend with no connection to Haruhi.

Kyon fell in love with Haruhi at first sight.
Disclaimer: this guess is based solely on the Anime, not the light novels. In the first episode (chronologically speaking) when Kyon is first introduced, everything looks boring and gray, right up until he finishes introducing himself to the class. After that Haruhi stands up and gives her weird introduction, prompting Kyon to look at her, at which point the entire thing becomes much more colourful. Also, in the first episode in broadcast order (AKA Kyon order), everything starts off bright, because Haruhi is already a part of his life by that point. His changing the order around (in the original broadcast, he and Haruhi gave the next episode preview together: she would always start to say what episode came next in chronological order and he would correct her, saying what episode would be shown next week in broadcast order) is arguably the first evidence we have that we can't trust everything that he says: if you watch it in chronological order, it becomes easier to see that he's always been in love with Haruhi since they first met, something which he adamantly denies.

Kyon's name represents Haruhi's desire for mystery.
Kyon's name represents the kind of mystery Haruhi wants in her life. Kyon's name remains unknown, because if it were known the mystery would no longer be a mystery.

Haruhi remembers Kyon as John Smith or has forgotten what the person who helped her paint the symbols on the field was called, so she feels like she knows Kyon, which is why she asks him if they had met previously. Because the name Kyon gave Haruhi was an obvious fake, his name has been a mystery to Haruhi from the start.

So because Haruhi remembers Kyon as somebody else, she refuses his real name and because of her powers, "Kyon" is used as a placeholder for his real name, by her and everyone else. Kyon is a strange nickname, because Haruhi decided, subconsciously, that he should have one and it is the kind of nickname that she would have chosen.

The name "Kyon" doesn't come from his real name at all.
This started after I got thinking about how his little sister doesn't refer to him like little kids usually would in Japan. She calls him Kyon-kun, as opposed to "onii-chan". I actually started to wonder if, then, the nickname was given to him by someone in his family based on something other than his name. Some of the theories are more exclusive to the anime, which leaves off the "my aunt gave it to me" explanation.
  • One guess is that "Kyon" is a mutation of "onii-chan", something brought on by his little sister being unable to say "Onii-chan" properly when she was learning to speak. It came out more like "Kyonii-chan" and eventually devolved into "Kyon-chan" (as opposed to "nii-chan") and then "Kyon-kun" once the nickname of "Kyon" stuck and was picked up by family and classmates. The equivalent of her error in English would probably be "big brubber" or similar. This one I like because it would mean that Kyon and his sister are literally known only as "big brother" and "little sister" so you could almost call it Theme Naming.
  • Another guess I had is that "Kyon" actually comes from something Kyon said or did as a small child, and his family teased him about it enough that it just stuck as a nickname.
  • It's a mutation of the Japanese word for "Today": Kyou. It merits a mention, that on the Fridge Brilliance section, it's pointed out that Haruhi could be seen as representing Monday, as she chooses to stick with her "Monday" style for the rest of the series after Kyon pointed out her constantly changing hairstyles (that is, Yellow with zero tie off points). Monday uses the kanji for moon. "Day", as in "today", uses the same kanji as Sun, as does Sunday. Sunday is a lazy day, a free day. Kyon himself wants nothing more than to just be lazy. The use of the kanji ties Kyon and Haruhi together as being the sun and the moon, and also works in favour of the "Haruhi has no powers without Kyon" theory somewhere above this WMG; the moon can't shine without the sun, after all.

Kyon is telling this story to a shrink, but is in a Life of Pi situation
He can say all he wants about the events of the series, which did actually happen, but nobody would believe him because the story *seemed* so unrealistic. Maybe he'd have to water his story down in a different account, but the series as we know it is the version that actually happened.

Kyon is The Doctor.
I'm surprised this wasn't already here. Specifically, he's the Doctor under a chameleon arch to make himself think he's a high school student in order to get close to Haruhi, a physical god, due to the time anomalies she was causing. But he couldn't risk getting close to her and revealing he's a time traveler, so he had to pretend to be human. Koizumi and Mikuru are his current companions, and Yuki is the TARDIS.
  • Yuki could also be a companion. He's had three companions before (in fact the original seven Doctors often had three companions). Yuki might be Kamelion Back from the Dead or, more likely, built by the same people who created the K-9 Units. Kyon has to have his TARDIS lurking around somewhere. The biggest hole in this theory is that Kyon actually has a family (his mother and sister at least), something neither John Smith nor Yana had.

Kyon is waking up from a coma

(Note: this theory is based on events until book 5. It also borrows points from various other WMG entries. It also works along with the theory that When Supernatural Battles Became Commonplace is the same story seen from Yuki's perspective.)

This is not All Just a Dream, the events in the series are mostly true, but the order, details and most of all logical transitions are garbled in Kyon's memory. The coma is probably the accident we hear of at the end of Disappearance.

We know that the series employs Unreliable Narrator and other literary tactics to have the public experience the feelings of the characters firsthand. For example, the TV version of Endless Eight is an attempt at making the public experience the same boredom as Kyon during a long summer, and possibly to experience the frame of mind that the author had to adopt to write it accurately. The same tactics applies to the whole series with regard to piecing events together with confused memories.

We can try to piece facts together.

Three years ago, Haruhi's parents died in an accident after a baseball event and Haruhi inherited a large estate and responsibilities.

At the next Tanabata, she tried to commit suicide, but Kyon/John Smith discouraged her, possibly without realizing what she was about in the first place.

After her depression was treated, she tried to shut down her imagination and became the Academic Alpha Bitch of East Junior High school who prevents all clubs from having activities.

Eventually, she tires of her no-fun life, and as she learns/remembers that John Smith goes to North High, she decides to get transferred from Kouyouen School.

Itsuki is Kyon himself. He is the son of a vice-president of the company Haruhi inherited, possibly a foreigner. He follows her in order to keep her in check and prevent her tantrums from rocking the company's stock prices.

Kyon is so deeply in love with Mikuru that he is completely oblivious to Haruhi's hitting on him not subtly at all. He sees Mikuru as much more cute and awkward than she really is. Mikuru wants to be be a science fiction writer, Kyon acts as her beta-reader but she does not want to discuss plot points that she did not yet write.

Yuki is a genius who skipped several grades but has still trouble distinguishing reality from fiction and understanding human emotions, possibly to the point of being somewhat autistic. She was somehow related to the Suzumiya family and affected by the accident, thus living alone.

More minor plot points:

During the present Tanabata, Mikuru lost her keys and therefore had to crash at Yuki's apartment.

The computers and laptops of the Computer Study Group were donated by the Suzumiya estate, this is the reason Haruhi believes she can do whatever she wants with them.

Yuki switched to contact lenses but was forced to switch back to glasses for some time.

At some point, possibly in the immediate aftermath of Kyon's accident, Haruhi and Itsuki/Kyon transferred back to Kouyouen School but insisted on coming back to North High.

During the ski trip, after the snow storm and bringing sick Yuki back to the lodge, Itsuki finds the locked liquor cabinet, they guess the combination using Haruhi's memories of her father's math obsession and all three of them get drunk, to the point of almost sleeping together.