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"Aw, geez - I'm running LATE..."
—First lines, Episode 1
- Episode 0: Freeman goes through the training course and mocks the simplicity of the entire thing before stopping at the "Jump to Target" part as he doesn't want to be injured.
Black Mesa Inbound
- Episode 1: Freeman rides the Tram to work while contemplating the numerous safety hazards of his workplace and reflecting on a squirrel costing his university ten thousand dollars.
- Episode 2: Freeman deals with office politics and basshead programmers as he puts on his suit and heads down to the test chamber..
- Episode 3: Freeman arrives at the test chamber, gets dizzy, and starts the "green apocalypse".
- Episode 4: Freeman leaves Crazyland and makes his way out of test chamber, before encountering facehuggers and acquiring a crowbar. He then proceeds to kill two people by pressing a button.
- Episode 5: Freeman encounters the ghosts of the two guys that came back to haunt him (except they're not, they're just monsters) and finds a pistol.
- Episode 6: Freeman jumps in a sewer, takes a lift that takes a long-ass time to go down, and gets stuck at a walkway.
- Episode 7: Freeman meets a Cthulhu Dog and plays Extreme Hopscotch.
- Episode 8: Freeman encounters bugs, electricity, maintenance shafts and a machine gun turret.
- Episode 9: Freeman gets shot in the ear and teaches a class on- wait, what is he doing?
- Episode 10: Freeman goes through a freezer section before finding a vending machine to get Doritos.
"We've Got Hostiles"
- Episode 11: Freeman hops over lasers and finds an MP5 before encountering two zombies.
- Episode 12: Freeman meets the "rescue team."
- Episode 13: Freeman finally gets to the surface, before immediately going back underground into a vent shaft maze because of the military bombing each other. He then goes into a ventilation shaft maze that leads to several dead ends.
- Episode 14: Freeman finds a wizard, a shotgun, heads downward and takes a tram to a pool of "radioactive...crap".
- Episode 15: Freeman teaches a lesson on muzzle energy and momentum, arrives at the rocket testing engine and gets fingered by Godzilla.
- Episode 16: Freeman wanders around silos and spots a large fan.
- Episode 17: Freeman gets winded, returns to the rocket propulsion test chamber and heads to the power room.
- Episode 18: Freeman becomes a monkey god and restores all power to the rocket engine.
- Episode 19: Freeman finally fires the rocket engine.
- Episode 20: Freeman jumps down a smoking hole where the alien used to be, and discusses Einstein haircuts and radiation poisoning.
- Episode 21: Freeman encounters the Gargantua and compliments the soldiers for finally "doing their job" and attacking it.
- Episode 22: Freeman does the soldiers' jobs FOR THEM and turns on the power generator for the tram. Speaking of the soldiers, Freeman also witnesses them run into their own tripmines.
- Episode 23: Freeman makes it back to track control, only to realize the power is still "off".
- Episode 24: Freeman defeats the Gargantua and gets the tram working.
On a Rail
- Episode 25: Freeman goes around in circles on the tram, encounters a machine gun turret and ends up at a broken elevator.
- Episode 26: Freeman takes the tram back to the area with the crane and heads upwards (with the tram).
- Episode 27: Cap'n Goatbeard Freeman drops every lubber that gets in his way. Yargh.
- Episode 28: Freeman loses his tram (thanks to Rocky the Rocket Ranger) and is stopped by explosives.
- Episode 29: Freeman gets back to the surface.
- Episode 30: Freeman meets The Three Stooges, starts World War 3 and tries to escape only to realize he's in the middle of the desert.
- Episode 31: Freeman decides to head back down after being shot, takes another tram, and finds a big pool.
- Episode 32: Freeman encounters a shark-thing (Ichthyosaur).
- Episode 33: Freeman bypasses the giant pistons and discovers he's being tracked.
- Episode 34: Freeman fights ninjas and is captured.
- Episode 35: Freeman wakes up in a trash compactor and can't remember who what he did yesterday.
- Episode 36: Freeman wanders around the room full of canisters filled with the same radioactive crap, and gets lost.
- Episode 37: Freeman finally remembers what happened by shooting a Bullsquid with a revolver.
- Episode 38: Freeman rides conveyor belts and runs out of ammo, before firing the guy whose job it was to reload.
- Episode 39: Freeman passes through Bio Labs, kills a security guard in cold blood, and stops in the lobby.
- Episode 40: Freeman enters an area with four lasers that converge into one.
- Episode 41: Freeman escapes the Bio Labs (but not without dealing with some rather idiotic scientists), and reaches a damn dam.
- Episode 42: Freeman maneuvers his damn way around a damn dam, some damn soldiers, and a damn shark. Damn.
- Episode 43: Freeman runs around in circles while being harassed by helicopter.
- Episode 44: Freeman goes cliff-climbing, runs across a rickety bridge, and acquires a rocket launcher. He finally takes down the helicopter from the last episode.
- Episode 45: Freeman is the very model of a modern major general.
- Episode 46: Freeman dodges falling debris, avoids landmines, theorizes about alien gravity and the benefits of an extra finger, and meets the sniper from Episode 31 again.
- Episode 47: Freeman stumbles through the trip-wire maze, shoots an alien weapon dead, laments his inability to hotwire a military vehicle, and gets pinned down by a "tank".
- Episode 48: After blowing up the "tank", Freeman plans to become the Lord of War, plays air traffic controller with a rocket launcher, and teaches a guard about the importance of knocking before opening.
- Episode 49: Freeman displays his skill in "shotgun chess" amid alien vs soldier combat, considers if he has murdered enough people to alter the course of the timeline, and gets told to put a well placed satchel charge in his pipe and smoke it.
- Episode 50: Freeman almost shotguns another security guard, is disappointed in his lack of stamina and self-preservation instinct, and finally uses him as a decoy to escape another Gargantua. He also needs an airstrike map of the whole world.
"Forget About Freeman!"
- Episode 51: Freeman laments his One-Man Army status while navigating through Snark mines, only find himself at a dead end.
- Episode 52: Freenab ponders if he's taking the longest possible route through the facility while hopping in and out of water, avoiding mines, sharks, and automated guns while he and the military keep each other's life interesting. Also, more rockets, another dead tank, and a suspiciously quiet elevator.
- Episode 53: Freeman hopscotches around radiation, finds a tank, and ponders the rarity of stupid aliens in media and the possibility that humanity is just better at invading places, stopping at a hallway full of blood.
- Episode 54: Freeman vs. Ninjas 2: Electric Boogaloo.
- Episode 55: As Freeman heads into the reactor core, he worries about guards that may have gone rogue.
- Episode 56: Freeman contemplates honor in battle as he prevents a nuclear meltdown.
- Episode 57: Freeman gets high off morphine as he discovers "portable stars".
- Episode 58: Freeman, still high, takes a detour into Half-Life: Uplink, where he thinks about the cover-up of the cover-up, hears his returning ghost, and realigns a radio antenna. The episode ends when he decides he can't fit through a small gap.
- Episode 59: Freeman sobers up, ponders the apparent growing intelligence of the zombies, experiences strange green flashes, then finds himself on the bad side of a Gargantua.
Return to Lambda Core
- Episode 60: Freeman tortures some sorcerers, discovers that Black Mesa invented teleportation, falls twice, and ponders why the hell his department is performing teleportation experiments.
- Episode 61: Freeman gets through the teleporter puzzle, reunites with the Long Jump Module from Episode 0, goes through the portal to Xen but hears something from Shephard before he went through.
- Episode 62: Freeman finally makes it to Xen. He attempts to adjust and fails miserably.
- Episode 63: Freeman encounters and battles against the Gonarch and laments about it being Made of Iron.
- Episode 64: Freeman finds a new apartment, explores a cave, and almost falls to his death.
- Episode 65: Freeman evades monsters and encounters potential minions in alien hellworld #3.
- Episode 66: Freeman takes over one part of a factory and massacres the other parts.
- Episode 67: Freeman continues his conquest of Xen and desecrates alien religious icons.
Nihilanth & Endgame
- Episode 68: Freeman fights the Nihilanth, plays around with lower gravity chambers, and meets the G-Man. Believing he's from the CIA, he wants to get pardoned, and accepts his offer. Then he doesn't, and has to fight a horde of G-Men. Final Episode of the original series.
- Episode 10.5: Freeman messes up a jump, falls to his death.
- Doom Guy's Mind Episode 7: Doom Guy resumes being hardcore as he murders demons and searches for key cards.
- Freeman Across the Universe: Coming soon, Freeman enters every First-Person game ever made.
- Episode 61.5: Freeman teleports out of Black Mesa into a forest in an unknown location. He 'borrows' a jeep and drives out.
"You threatened me, you took my weapons, and you're a fucking Time Lord. This is bullshit."
—Final lines (Good ending)
"...yeah, I'm feeling pretty good right about now."
—First lines, Episode 1
- Episode 1: Having his personal space invaded, Freeman is awoken out of stasis by the CIA Time Lord, and is placed on Earth many years into the future after Earth has been taken over by the Gestapo with alien tripods. Freeman is left disappointed that he wasn't sent off to Hawaii.