Recap / Father Ted S 2 E 11 A Christmassy Ted

You let Dougal do a funeral?!

Ted manages to avert a major catastrophe when he, Dougal and a group of other priests become lost in the lingerie section of a clothes store. For getting them out of the store without being caught (thus averting a major scandal), Ted is awarded a Golden Cleric. Ted is undoubtedly pleased, but things take an unexpected turn when a priest called Father Todd Unctious turns up who claims to be an old friend of his. Although Ted can't for the life of him remember who he is.

Tropes

• Accidental Pervert: Ted and Dougal in the lingerie section.
• Affectionate Parody: A few.
  • The escape from the lingerie department turns into a war film pastiche.
  • Unctious tries to steal the Golden Cleric while suspended from the ceiling, like Ethan Hunt in Mission: Impossible, which came out in the same year.
• All Just a Dream: The intro, which has Ted imagine himself as part of Ballykissangel and having a romantic encounter with Assumpta, only to be awoken by the sound of Dougal offering him peanuts.
• Artistic License – Traditional Christianity: In this episode there's a mass on TV that's being broadcast from St. Martin's Cathedral, Dublin. Somewhat surprisingly, there are in fact no Roman Catholic cathedrals in Dublin; the two cathedrals in that city, St. Patrick's and Christ Church, are both owned by the Church of Ireland, which is Ireland's Anglican denomination ^note  an unusual set-up even when you don't factor in the fact that the Church of Ireland has always had significantly less adherents than the Roman Catholic church in Ireland; Christ Church is the diocesan cathedral for the Church of Ireland's Diocese of Dublin and Glendalough, while St. Patrick's is designated as the national cathedral for the Church of Ireland . The Catholic Church (which, like the Church of Ireland, has an Archbishop of Dublin) merely has a Pro-Cathedral, St. Mary's Church, in that city as — officially — it claims that Christ Church should be its cathedral.
• Bait-and-Switch:
  • When Mrs Doyle calls Ted the second best priest in Ireland, one might think she was talking another Catholic priest. However, she starts rambling about a Protestant minister after saying it.
  • Also, when Ted gets the phone call after the lingerie department escapade, he thinks it might be someone such as Bishop Brennan making an angry phone call over the affair. The call turns out to be related, but it relates to his nomination for Golden Cleric for his actions during the incident.
• Bavarian Fire Drill: The priests fake a store announcement in order to escape the lingerie section.
• Berserk Button: Responding to Ted's Golden Cleric Award by calling him maybe the second best priest in the country goes down about as well as one might expect.
• Blatant Lies:
  • How the priests slip out of the lingerie department - they hijack a tannoy and claim that "the store is about to close". It's a wonder they didn't get caught.
  • The bishop who calls from Rome to tell Ted he has won the Golden Cleric says the Vatican is too "strapped for cash" to offer a cash reward. He's seen puffing on a cigar while in what appears to be a high-end nightclub, and he's not the only clergyman there.
  • When caught watching a horror film with a glass of milk, Dougal claims he was up in the middle of the night to "carry the milk around".
• The Bore: Father Fitzgerald is not boring in himself, but he has a voice so boring others lose interest before he can even finish speaking. He is fully aware of this.
• Call-Back:
  • If you listen carefully in the scene where Dougal talks over Ted, you can hear him saying that he's going to feed Sampras — his pet rabbit from The Plague.
  • This is not the first time Ted and Dougal have become Accidental Perverts.
• The Cameo: Guest appearances from Stephen Tompkinson and Dervla Kirwan as their respective characters from Ballykissangel.
• Christmas Episode: As the title implies, this is the Father Ted one — complete with Christmas decorations in the parochial house and sleigh bells being added to the theme tune.
• Cold Ham: Father Fitzgerald.
• Cringe Comedy:
  • The scene with Unctious in his pants.
  • Also the lingerie department incident.
• Curse Cut Short: A visual example. When Jack is left in a department store creche, he assembles his three favourite words in alphabet blocks. Cut to him with only one gap remaining, "F-CK", hesitating to put down a block with both an "E" and a "U" on it...but the scene cuts away before he can decide.
  • Ted stops mid-sentence when talking about a baby sucking milk from its mother's breast.
• Damned by Faint Praise: "I'd say, Father, that you might be the second best priest in the country!"
• Doorstop Baby: Ted finds one but the mother comes back realising she left it at the wrong house. Ted laments about the escapades they could have had while trying to look after it.
• Dream Intro: The episode begins with Ted talking with Assumpta from Ballykissangel. Just when they're about to kiss, Dougal wakes him up.
• Driving a Desk: During the shot of Larry Duff skiing, the background looks like it was an obvious blue screen shot.
• Duck Season, Rabbit Season: When Dougal claims to be Ted and that Ted is Dougal, Ted accidentally says "No, I'm Dougal. He's Ted".
• Embarrassing Damp Sheets: In his speech, Ted rants about Father Barry Kieran who would pour water over Ted's bedsheets back in priest school. However, the priest that Todd stole his clothes from said that Ted used to wet the bed back in school.
• The Exit Is That Way: When Ted, Dougal and several other priests try to sneak out of a lingerie section of a store that they accidentally wandered into so that it won't cause a public scandal, they hijack a P.A system so they can say the store is closing to lure out the shoppers. However when they start wandering around aimlessly...
  Ted: (Hijacks P.A) NOT THAT WAY FOR FECK'S SAKE, THE OTHER WAY!!!
• Every Car Is a Pinto: The "Fun" in Funeral scene climaxes with the hearse exploding.
• Eye Scream: Poor Father Cleary.
• Eyepatch After Time Skip: Father Cleary accidentally snaps a bra into his eye when fiddling with it in the lingerie section. When we next see him at Ted's Golden Cleric award ceremony, he's got an eyepatch on.
• Failed a Spot Check: Dougal fails to notice Todd dangling from the living room ceiling mere inches from his face. He's too distracted by the "scary film":
  TV: Some say the thief may be in the room right now!
• Fan Disservice: Todd Unctious, middle-aged and paunchy, in his grey pants.
• Floating Advice Reminder: During some soul-searching, Ted is laughed at by the ghosts of Mrs Doyle, Father Jack, Dick Byrne, the cast of Ballykissangel ... and finally Father Dougal, who doesn't appear to know why he's part of Ted's vision.
• The "Fun" in "Funeral": Dougal officiates a funeral which somehow turns into a blazing hearse crashing into the grave and exploding.
• Got Me Doing It: The kids in the store's play area pick up Father Jack's foul language surprisingly quickly.
• Heroic BSoD: Ted's reaction to being called second-best.
• I Lied: The Craggy Island Police Chief gets Todd to admit why he attempted to steal the Golden Cleric by insisting his testimony will be off the record. Once Todd's confessed...
  Police Chief: Well, I've got news for you, so-called Todd Unctious. That wasn't off the record! I'm using that as evidence against you!
  Todd Unctious: Ah now, that's completely unfair!
• I Need to Go Iron My Dog: Later in the episode, the six priests whom Ted and Dougal helped in the lingerie section attempt to leave an area again, this time trying to get out of the paroichal house so they won't have to listen to a Mass on television. They use this tactic in their efforts, including one of them saying he has to see someone on death row.
• I Was Having Such a Nice Dream: The cold open is one of these; Ted is woken from his dream where he's in Ballykissangel by Dougal offering him a peanut. When he tries to go back to sleep, he has a nightmare in which he is running for his life from giant peanuts.
• Job-Stealing Robot: Ted buys Mrs. Doyle a tea-making machine for Christmas, naturally she hates it but ends up admitting it to him at the end.
• Kids Shouldn't Watch Horror Films: Ted refuses to let Dougal stay up to watch a horror film because the last time a movie scared him, he had to sleep in bed with Ted. It's implied that the last movie that scared Dougal was a Herbie movie.
• Large Ham: One of the Priests escaping from the lingerie department offers his booming voice for use on the tannoy. When Father Fitzgerald reminds him they need a dull voice, he apologises profusely for interrupting.
• Long Speech Tea Time: Ted’s acceptance speech
• "Mission: Impossible" Cable Drop: Father Todd Unctious uses one of these to attempt to steal Ted's Golden Cleric Award. It breaks partway through, leaving him hanging helplessly in full view of Dougal, who fails to notice him anyway. And afterwards Mrs. Doyle uses it to clean the windows.
• Nightmare Sequence: Ted’s peanut dream.
• No Indoor Voice: Jack and Father Reilly.
• Noodle Incident:
  • The Scottish bishop calling from Rome says he needs to lie low for a while and that "she's going to write a bloody book about it", implying some sort of scandal.
  • Also the funeral Dougal did, which was a rare visual version.
• No Sense of Personal Space: Todd shows Ted his groin scar and gives him a Christmas hug after entering their room in just his pants.
• Not What It Looks Like: Eight priests wandering around Ireland's biggest lingerie section because most of them wandered in by mistake and can't get out. Or at least, Ted and Dougal did; the other six give Suspiciously Specific Denials when questioned as to how they got there, which Ted naturally believes, no questions asked.
• Now You Tell Me: More like 'Now I Tell Myself'.
  Ted: [After having just called Larry Duff and given him another misadventure] Oh, wait now. He's on holidays. I won't disturb him.
• Oh, Crap!: Ted goes into full panic mode when he learns Dougal is doing a funeral.
  Father Ted: DOUGAL'S DOING A FUNERAL?! YOU LET DOUGAL DO A FUNERAL?!
• Pragmatic Hero: Played with when Ted has a tannoy hijacked to distract shoppers so that the priests can get out of the lingerie department. He's not the most moral of protagonists, but the Church takes his actions as having done some good for their reputation.
• Pun: Ted: Tea-riffic, bloody Hell Dougal.
• Rapid-Fire Name Guessing: Mrs Doyle. Descends into a hurricane of Inherently Funny Words:
  Mrs Doyle: Father Andy Riley.
  Priest: No.
  Mrs Doyle: Father Desmond Coyle. (priest shakes head) Father George Byrne? Father David Nicholson? Father Declan Lynch?
  Priest: I'll give you a clue.
  Mrs Doyle: NO CLUES! I'll get it in a second. Father Ken Sweeney? Father Neil Hannon? Father Keith Cullen? Father Ciaran Donnelly? Father Mick McEvoy? Father Jack White? (fade out and back in; Mrs Doyle still guessing) Father Henry Bigbigging? Father Hank Tree? Father Hiroshima Twinkie? Father Stig Bubblecard? Father Johnny Hellzapoppin’? Father Luke Duke? Father Billy Ferry? Father Chewy Louie? Father John Hoop? Father Hairycake Linehan? Father Rabulah Conundrum? Father Peewee Stairmaster? Father Jemima Ractoole? Father Jerry Twig? Father Spodo Komodo? Father Cannabranna Lammer? Father Todd Unctious?
  Priest: YES!
• Refuge in Audacity: Father "Todd Unctious", and how he infiltrates the trio's house comes down to this.
• Rule of Three: Ted storms out of the parochial house three times after coming back to get his coat and then his keys. Each time, more Christmas decorations fall down.
• Screw This, I'm Outta Here: Priests leave a room to avoid hearing an extended Latin Mass on television.
• Second Place Is for Losers: Ted takes great offence at Mrs. Doyle saying that he's only the second best priest in Ireland.
• Serious Business: When Ted must get the priests out of the lingerie department without being noticed.
• Shaped Like Itself: How Mrs Doyle describes the tea-making process:
  "Perching an optional Jaffa Cake on the side, like a proud soldier, standing to attention besides a giant ... cup of tea."
• Shout-Out:
  • Early on Ted says "You slave away to the needs of your parishioners and what do you get? A one-way ticket to Palookaville." This is a reference to the famous taxicab scene from On the Waterfront.
  • The scene where Mrs Doyle must guess the name of "Todd Unctious" is supposedly based on a similar scene in the novel The Third Policeman.
• Suddenly Shouting: As above when Ted learns Dougal is doing a funeral.
• Super Window Jump: Attempted by Jack, who just bounces off the window and falls back into the room. Then lampshaded by Ted, who tells the other priests that he had plexiglass installed to stop Jack from doing this.
• Troll: Two jokers call the priest helpline while Ted is trying to use it.
• Unwanted Gift Plot: Ted getting Mrs. Doyle the TeaMaster machine.
• Wrong Bathroom Incident: Played for laughs; a group of Catholic priests somehow find themselves in the women's underwear section of a department store and must sneak out without being seen to avoid causing a scandal for the church. The whole scene is played as a parody of rescue sequences in war movies.
• You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me!: Ted is shocked when he realises that Mrs. Doyle let Dougal do a funeral.

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