Quotes: They Changed It, Now It Sucks

"If you want to make enemies, try to change something."


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    Film - Live Action 

NOOOO! What's it doing? Stupid, fat hobbit, you ruins it!
Gollum, upon finding out that the raw rabbits he caught have been cooked by Sam for a stew, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

    Music 

And its seems ugly, but it can get worse
'Cause even a blueprint is a gift and a curse
'Cause once you got a theory of how the thing works
Everybody wants the next thing to be just like the first
And I'm not a robot, I'm not a monkey
I will not dance, even if the beat's funky
Opposite of lazy - far from a punk
You all ought to stop talking
Start trying to
catch up, motherfucker!''
Linkin Park addressing their fans who want their Hybrid Theory sound back in When They Come For Me

    Video Games 

What happened to the penguin cameos? Damn you, Nintendo!
Elder Xelpud, La-Mulana (apparently complaining about Smash Ping Pong?)

    Webcomics 

I can't believe it! I'm actually going to play the game of my dreams! An embodiment of my childhood! Pipe bombs, pig cops, rechargeable shields, strip—waaaaiiit. RECHARGEABLE SHIELDS? Change to MY nostalgia? UNACCEPTABLE!!
Leo, VG Cats

    Web Original 

I tink Zeruda get stale, so I make Windu Waika.

You hate Windu Waika and tink it fo babies, so I forrow OOT and make Tuwairaito purincess.

Oooooo but nooo now you hate TUWAIRAITO PURINCESS . YOU ROVU WINDU WAIKA NOW.

SO AT THIS E3 I MAKE MORPHU WITH TUWAIRAITO PURINCESSU AND WIND WAIKA CARRED SKYWARDU SWORTU
AND YOU DONUT RIKE SKYWARDU SWORTU TOO. YOU ROVU WIND WAIKA AND TUWAIRAITO PURINCESSU NOW.

WELL YOU DONTU KNOW WHATTU YOU RIKE!

DATS WHY I MAKE WII SPORTS. AT REAST DAH KIDS AND MOMS WIRR ALWAYS RIKE IT!

I always roll my eyes when I hear people complain that there aren't enough dungeons in Wind Waker, when I would argue that the many islands to be explored in the overworld create enough gameplay to make up for it. But no, it's Zelda. Zelda can only frame its gameplay through the medium of dungeon, the Pope is infallible, we have always been at war with Eastasia, blah de blah de blah.

The game game received huge criticism for its 'convoluted' storyline, with the highest praise boiling down to acknowledging its postmodern weirdness. Either way, most of his investment into the game's bizarre design went unappreciated, and fans were left begging for what they felt they could rely on: guns and shooting. 'Except next time, could you make it cooler, like you did with Metal Gear Solid 1, please?'

This was what Kojima feared. Sons of Liberty tested the players to see if his fans were, like Raiden, stupid and unfit to decide things for themselves. Because of the unflattering result, this is where the path to higher success began to grow darker for Kojima.

Comics. The medium for people who resent it when things happen in their media.

Since Elmo hit the big time, grown-ups have been like, "It's a huge mistake to give Elmo the spotlight over the classic characters! The show was so much better before he showed up!" But now the viewers who were in the audience for the first Elmo's World segments are becoming grown-ups themselves, and they're all like, "It's a huge mistake to change the Elmo character! The show needs the classic Elmo!"''

In those years, Skinner had, among other things, been fired, rejoined the army, seen his school strike oil, settled a teacherís strike, flashed back to Vietnam several times, and fallen in love in two separate episodes. At some point, there just isnít a lot left to do with a particular character, and that more than anything explains why both the ďimposterĒ storyline was conceived and why it was so universally loathed. The writers were out of ideas, and the fans were attached to what they already knew. In hindsight, an episode where the two crashed head-on seems almost inevitable.
Dead Homer Society on The Simpsons, "The Principal and the Pauper"

Another round of applause for the waste of a tree Trek guidebook Beyond the Final Frontier that seems to suggest in their review of this episode that fleshing out your recurring guest characters is a bad thing. Nice one chaps, why donít you stick to reviewing Voyager in the future.
Joe Ford on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, "It's Only a Paper Moon"

Despite there being limitless types of stories to be told in the Star Trek universe, the shows and movies have uniformly (with the exception of Deep Space Nine) been about a crew of explorers on a starship either discovering spatial anomalies or trying to save Earth (or occasionally, an alien planet) from getting blown up...And the one time Trek did attempt to do something slightly different by producing a more politically-oriented series set on a space station, the ratings were never more than lackluster. Is CBS or Paramount really going to sink millions into a Section 31 series? ('You mean, that building that Khan blew up in the last movie? You want to make a whole show about that?') Doubtful.

The need for geeks to have things be the way they always have been permeates their existence. It is not simply a desire to never see anything change, it's a point of view that simply refuses to acknowledge the existence of time altogether. A side effect of this is the way that geeks can take anything that's marginally amusing and run it into the ground until it's beyond unbearable. If something was ever funny to them, then it's always funny, and it always will be.
"The Status Quo", Stuff Geeks Love

Jeffrey Dean Morgan: Wait! Donít kill me! I need to bleed onto my yellow smiley face button at an awkward angle so that the raging Watchmen fanbois in the audience are placated.
(bleeds)
Morgan: Okay, ready.
Rapid Fanbois: Boo. The blood splatter is four degrees off.

Hardcore fans of Hellblazer will hate Constantine for not being an exact copy of the comic. Then again, Brazilian hardcore fans of Hellblazer probably don't fill a van.
— Brazilian magazine SET, reviewing Constantine

The second issue of MAD goes on sale on December 9, 1952. On December 11, the first-ever letter complaining that Mad 'just isn't as funny and original like it used to be' arrives.
Desmond Devlin, in a fictionalized history of Mad magazine

Your favourite character has been "promoted" and (they hope) forgotten; your second favourite character's role has been considerably reduced and his characterization changed; the people who look like you have either been made into a caricature or removed from the bridge altogether, and stuck in unattractive costumes as well (I know that's the division color. I'm sorry, but mustard is simply not a good color on black people). The weight of the show has been placed on an occasionally cute but minor character; the writers aren't doing anything with the two remaining characters, who get less interesting as time goes on - and there's a baby on the bridge where an adult should be. Given all that, might you not maybe possibly be just a little, tiny bit upset?
Textual Poachers, by Henry Jenkins gives us a more sympathetic view of this sentiment, quoting a Star Trek: The Next Generation fan called Junius.

You can't just change... You can't just change it, okay? Change is not good! Doesn't matter what Taylor Swift sings about! It's a bad thing!
NuttyMadam on the changes made to Breaking Dawn's ending.

"If there isn't one already, I'm claiming "Jeb's Law": Regardless of what change you do, no matter how small, someone will complain."

    Web Video 

We are like children who, after seeing a cartoon rabbit do a shit in its pants, wants to see the same rabbit do the same shit in the same pants because it makes us do a laugh. We're the reason Matt Groening could barely do anything post-Simpsons, because we demanded more Simpsons, until it's the sad, shallow, shadow of a show it is today. We're the kind of people who, after seeing a funny character like Rafi from The League and, devoid of any understanding of why the character is funny, demand he be taken out of his element and given his own spinoff show. Yes, people demand Rafi spinoffs and it makes me sick.

Lord Of Games: Gamers today don't want all this, they just want to shoot things! But as we're broadening the demographic, I'll have to think of something original. Hmm...
Jon: (Creepy Monotone) "Something original", buh?.... "Broadening the demographic?" ...Okay.... I'll bite. Just what did you guys have in mind?
(beat)
Jon:.....cars?...... CARS?....CAAAAAAAAAAARS?!?!!!

    Western Animation 

The more things change, the more they suck.

    Real Life 

'This show is going to reflect your sensibilities, itís going to be edgier, funnier, grittier, more character driven, and after two years Iím going to hand the show over to you.' So that sounded really good, and thatís why I came back. But almost immediately after the pilot, cold feet started to develop all over the place. It was like, 'Make the show more TNG-like'...the studio got freaked out and said, 'Should we put engines on the space station and fly it through the wormhole?'
Ira Behr on succeeding Michael Piller as executive producer of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

In the beginning, we tried to make Enterprise different from the previous Trek series. But we fell back on old habits and found ourselves revisiting previous episodes. Ultimately, it proved very hard to deviate or tear ourselves away from the original formula. The series never attracted the new viewership we hoped for.
Maria & Andre Jacquemetton on Star Trek: Enterprise, Science Fiction Television Series, 1990-2004

After losing your girlfriend to a tragic accident, you decide to start dating her cousin. This cousin reminds you of your ex-girlfriend but, very quickly, you realize that she is not enough like your deceased ex for your liking, so you start pestering her to dress more like her dead cousin, talk more like her dead cousin, and generally behave a lot more like her dead cousin. When she resists, you get angry and begin harassing her incessantly, stalking her online and wishing her dead as well.
Joseph Mallozzi, executive producer of the Stargateverse

Well, I think we missed the boat...If we could have had Ben [Reilly] adopt the Peter identity right away and just gone forward, onward and upward, it might have worked. But I think part of the problem is that a lot of people saw this blond guy named Ben Reilly running around as Spider-Man and their reaction was, "This isn't Spider-Man! Where the hell is Peter Parker?
Editor/Writer Glenn Greenberg on Peter Parker's 10-Minute Retirement, The Clone Saga

The thing that I can't understand is how could people possibly declare that this isn't Chrono? And for these people, I can't help but wonder what it was that Chrono meant to them? Is it possible that none of the messages that I tried to send out to these people ever really got through to them?
Masao Kato on Chrono Cross

SF writers and fans seem increasingly gripped by the iron hand of the past. I find it striking that at cons writers and fans are always talking about the history of the field, and the great practitioners of the past. The fact that Asimov's begins each issue with Silverberg's column, which is practically dedicated to Golden-Age nostalgia, fits in perfectly with the discourse of the field as a whole. Convention panels gripe endlessly about the bad new days and look back fondly toward the good old ones. Convention discussions often devolve into exchanges of trivia about Golden Age writers who have been transmogrified from being merely a part of SF's historical canon into cult figures.
Judith Berman, "Science Fiction Without the Future", The New York Review of Science Fiction #153 (2001)