Quotes / The Unintelligible

It's unintelligible
I just can't get it through my skull
It's hard to bargle nawdle zouss (?)
With all these marbles in my mouth
"Weird Al" Yankovic, "Smells Like Nirvana"

I don't understand you
I just don't understand you
I don't understand the things you say
I can't understand a single word...
They Might Be Giants, Fingertips (I Don't Understand You)

Meep meep meep! MEEEEEP!

Woodstock, Peanuts

Hey, it's Garbly! Everyone loves him because they can't understand him!
Leela, telling a story to kids.

Mickey: (pretending he's dying) Tell Donald... Tell Donald....
Mortimer: (urgently) YES, YES?
Mickey: I never understood a word he... said.
House of Mouse, "Mickey's April Fools"

He could be so frustrated right now and all I'd know is that he used to be Charlie Brown's English teacher.

Arnold sometimes talks like a man who is both breast feeding and drowning at the same time.

Should any of you wish to see this movie, get the DVD. (Oh, and consult a psychiatrist.) Not that there’s much to in the way of extras on this disc. In fact, it’s rather bare boned. ...No, I suggest the DVD because of the one other feature you can’t get on the video. Subtitles. Sure, the film’s in English. But Seagal adopts a really lame and mushmouthed ‘Western’ accent here. When combined with his trademark whispery voice, well, half the time you can’t make out what the heck he’s saying. Seriously. However, just hit the Subtitle button on your DVD remote and problem solved. Hmm, now if I could just find a button that made the movie less moronic…
Jabootu on The Patriot

David Lee Roth breaks open the crazy with what might be the greatest mashed jumble of words ever committed to tape, which is bookended by two patented David Lee Roth howls...There are a lot of things I don't understand about the world. Chief among them is: Why aren't we all wearing T-shirts with "GoddamnitbabyyouknowIain'tlyin'toyaI'monlygon'tellyouonetimeAhhhyaaaa!" on them?

This clip that’s been making the round of Iggy Azalea mouth farting into the mic at the Splash Festival in Germany will make you laugh, cry and scream for a priest because bitch sounds possessed. While looking like Lady Gaga Lady Russell Stover, the rillest MC in da game spit out the sounds of a train wreck...If you switched Siri’s language to Cantonese on your iPhone and asked her to recite a Kanye West rant backwards, she’d make more sense than Iggy does in that clip. Bitch sounds like Nell speaking tongues in Pig Latin after burning her tongue on hot soup. I did hear a “chickabee” or two in there.

What I’m saying is that this is my favorite Iggy Azalea performance of all-time. All hail the Queen of Scat!

How about some SUBTITLES you JERKS?! It's bad enough we have to listen to these guys, but we can't even understand what they're saying!
The Nostalgia Critic regarding the Wookies talking in The Star Wars Holiday Special

"It isn't an easy language to learn, what with all the growls and howls. Big Z told me the whole point was to make it difficult for outsiders to understand."
Mission Vao, on the Wookiee language, Knights of the Old Republic

"Hey! Hey, speak up! I can't hear you over your obnoxious beat! I've listened to this theme song so many times! Like, I doubled down on how many times I listened to this theme song compared to all of the others, and I've never been able to make out all of the lyrics! Except for, you know, thisnote ."
The Mysterious Mr. Enter, on the theme song for The Nutshack

They whisper his name
Sotto Voce!
His silence is his fame
Sotto Voce!
His enemies all fear him
You can barely hear him
Invincible and inaudible
Sotto Voce!

Sour Cream: Muh! Muh muh muh! Muh muh muh muh muh!
Marty: What did you say?

"Penitenziagite! Watch out for the draco who cometh in futurum to gnaw your anima! Death is super nos! Pray the santo pater come to liberar nos a malo and all our sin! Ha ha, you like this negromanzia de Domini Nostri Jesu Christi! Et anco jois m'es dols e plazer m'es dolors... Cave el diabolo! Semper lying in wait for me in some angulum to snap at my heels. But Salvatore is not stupi-dus! Bonum monsasterium, and aqui refectorium and pray to dominum nostrum. and the resto is not worth merda. Amen. No?"
As this story continues, I shall have to speak again and at length of this creature and record his speech. I confess I find it very difficult to do so because I could not say now, as I could never understand then, what language he spoke.

"God, I'm glad that Genius.com exists; I got, like, four words out of that."
Michael Buckley, on Gucci Gang by Lil Pump (specifically, the lyrics that aren't a billion Title Drops in a row), The Ten Worst Songs of 2017