Quotes: The Load

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Take a load off Annie, take a load for free
Take a load off Annie, And (and) (and)
you can put the load right on me"
The Band, "The Weight"

Ace Ventura: War is hell. The last thing we want is a fight.
Ouda ("translating"): I want a fight, so go to hell!
Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls

Computer: May I remind you, Sgt. Pinback, it was your idea to bring the alien on board in the first place. If I may quote you, you said the ship needed a mascot.
Sgt. Pinback: Awwwwww, I gotta do everything around here!

I tend to see Elan more as an obstacle that this team overcomes on a regular basis. Traveling with Elan is kind of like, say, adventuring with syphilis. It can be done, for a while, but it's not easy and it's not pretty.
Roy Greenhilt, The Order of the Stick

I had met Lupino only once. The gangster ran all his rackets through his right-hand man, Vinnie Gognitti. Gognitti was a highstrung whiner on the verge of breaking apart like an overamped Energizer bunny. He had the brains to run the business, but he lacked the balls—always falling short.

You remember what daddy always said. That God gave you a big sister instead of a brain.
Meredith (to Flint), Heroes

When it comes to helping his own side, Stanley is somewhere between Gilligan and Starscream.
Parson, Erfworld

Anderson Cooper: If you had to do it over again, would you have her on the ticket?
Steve Schmidt: You don't get to go back in time, Anderson, and have do-overs in life.

Are you sure you want Fluttershy to come along? I mean, that pony is afraid of her own shadow. She's just going to slow us down.

Damian: Uh, I know I shouldn't say this...
Su-In Cha: Yeah, my stupid brother is the burden of this group...

    real life 

One reason I didn't like football was the boredom of putting on and taking off all that gear. Even so, at an early school, I made what I thought was an unusually brilliant touchdown against what proved to be, upon closer inspection, my own team.
Gore Vidal, Palimpsest

Despite the fact that every other kid in America masters the art of sliding by the end of their first year in tee ball, this skill continues to eludes Mike Vick. Instead, he prefers to dive forward, slam his body to the ground and fumble directly into the hands of a linebacker, preferably at the most crucial moment of the game.

On their own, the giant infant scientists survived another minute, and then crashed.
MST3K, episode #816: Prince of Space

In the 1940s, the Golden Age of comics defined the modern superhero. Great men and women of unwavering morality and courage! Unfortunately, they were all accompanied by half-naked children, ethnic stereotypes, the morbidly obese and idiots who split their time between getting captured and slipping on banana peels.

All he does is follow Quaid around and be... funny? I think this is supposed to be funny.
The Nostalgia Chick, on the Monk character in Dragonheart

Who the fuck is this? "Iolo"? He looks like Grant Imahara from MythBusters...You can compare their starting abilities and equipment here: Like, Dupre has the most health but low magic, and he starts with a sword and armor. Okay. Whereas Iolo is a complete pussy and he starts with a bow and handburger.

He starts....with a fucking hamburger. Yeah. "Mariah" gets a wand of fireballs, Iolo gets a Big Mac.
Noah Antwiler on Ultima: Runes of Virtue

So, Edward Carnby from the very first Alone in the Dark is somehow still alive... He gets joined by a female sidekick who sweeps the Horrible Game Character Awards, taking:

Most Obviously Crowbarred-in Love Interest
Most Irritating
Least Useful to Gameplay
Least Necessary to Plot

and Lifetime Achievement.

Perhaps the crowning moment of her hideousness is when she nearly dies and the game forces you to press a button sequence in order to revive her with CPR — although the spiteful cow never actually dies, no matter how many times you deliberately fuck up.

As irritating as pubic louse and just as nasty. Adric declares that all women are mindless, impatient and bossy and judging by the look on Tegan’s face she's ready to shove his little winkie in a blender and serve it up as an Alzarian smoothie...Only a true geek that is asking for a bruising would ask for 'sodium chloride' rather than salt. Nyssa gets a gentle shove and Adric, that well-known boxer of men, steps in: ‘Don’t you do that to her!’ When Adric agrees with Monarch, he finally puts to rest the hotly debated topic of whether Adric thinks and acts like a retard: yes, yes he does. It's not even as though the little dunce is going along with Monarch's ludicrous scheme to put himself in the position to affect their escape, he genuinely believes in this crusty frog and his web of lies. This is the middle adventure of three that sees Adric working for the enemy and you have to ask yourself why the Doctor bothers keeping him around...The final insult is that Adric has to be convinced to help the Doctor defeat Monarch.

First they ran out of Red Shirts, and now the writers of The Walking Dead are fresh out of Convenient Burdens, too. Don't mistake the two: Red Shirts are entirely different from Convenient Burdens. Red Shirts are just disposable cannon fodder, while Convenient Burdens usually aren't even killed — they're just perpetually on the verge of it. And they make for bad storytelling because they're usually painfully transparent: The Convenient Burdens only exist as easy plot devices to put the group in trouble when shit gets boring.

Chris: Shredder ends up interrupting his own origin and doing his best Angus Scrimm impression at Danny (“boyyyyyyyy”), waving his various arm-knives around until he finds the drawing of Leonardo in Danny’s pocket. By Danny betrayed! Again!
Matt: Even when this kid wants to help, he f**ks everything up.
—Chris Sims and Matt Wilson on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles