Quotes: The Load

Fiction

Take a load off Annie, take a load for free
Take a load off Annie, And (and) (and)
you can put the load right on me"
The Band, "The Weight"

"Just act stupid, Jamie. Do you think you can manage that?"
Second Doctor, Doctor Who ("The Dominators")

"You're a constipator, Peanut. You disturb my shit and that's annoying."
Rube to George, Dead Like Me

Lt. 'Doc': That's mostly what makes physical heroism: Opportunity. It's a reflex. I think that 75 out of 100 young males have that reflex. You take any one of them—say, even Frank Thurlowe Pulver, here—Put him into a B-29 over Japan, and you know what you'd have?
Doug Roberts: No I don't, Doctor.
Doc: You'd have Pulver, the Congressional Medal of Honor winner. Pulver, who single-handed shot down twenty-three attacking Zeros! Pulver who, with his bare hands, held together the severed wing struts of his plane! And with his bare feet, successfully landed his mortally wounded plane on his home field! Reflex. It's like the knee jerk. Strike the patella tendon in any human being, you produce the knee jerk. Look: [Doc hits Pulver in the knee and nothing happens]
Ensign Pulver: What's the matter, Doc?
Doc: ...Nothing. But stay out of B-29s, Frank, my boy.
Mister Roberts (1955)

Computer: May I remind you, Sgt. Pinback, it was your idea to bring the alien on board in the first place. If I may quote you, you said the ship needed a mascot.
Sgt. Pinback: Awwwwww, I gotta do everything around here!

"Traveling with Elan is kind of like, say, adventuring with syphilis. It can be done, for a while, but it's not easy and it's not pretty."
Roy Greenhilt, The Order of the Stick

"I had met Lupino only once. The gangster ran all his rackets through his right-hand man, Vinnie Gognitti. Gognitti was a highstrung whiner on the verge of breaking apart like an overamped Energizer bunny. He had the brains to run the business, but he lacked the balls—always falling short."

"You remember what daddy always said. That God gave you a big sister instead of a brain."
Meredith (to Flint), Heroes

Anderson Cooper: If you had to do it over again, would you have her on the ticket?
Steve Schmidt: You don't get to go back in time, Anderson, and have do-overs in life.

"Are you sure you want Fluttershy to come along? I mean, that pony is afraid of her own shadow. She's just going to slow us down."

Damian: Uh, I know I shouldn't say this...
Su-In Cha: Yeah, my stupid brother is the burden of this group...

Reviews

"In the 1940s, the Golden Age of comics defined the modern superhero. Great men and women of unwavering morality and courage! Unfortunately, they were all accompanied by half-naked children, ethnic stereotypes, the morbidly obese and idiots who split their time between getting captured and slipping on banana peels."

"All he does is follow Quaid around and be... funny? I think this is supposed to be funny."
The Nostalgia Chick, on the Monk character in Dragonheart

"For a start, the film features an actual adventuring party of actual character classes...Even better, they behave as you would: The Rogue has an entire scene dedicated to him detecting and disabling traps, while the Cleric dies just when he's needed the most, just like a real game of D&D."

Jay: The first shot of Zooey Deschanel is her big, stupid, gormless face. Someone just hit her with a frying pan.
V1: I'll say this: Her character is one of the most frustrating people in the history of the world.
Jay: I really didn't like her introduction, because she's just empty-headed and constantly overwhelmed by everything and can't deal with anything.
V1: She's just a morbidly unhappy person.
Jay: Like, if she wasn't such an arsehole, I'd say that she is a 25-year-old playing a 6-year-old. Mark Wahlberg has two kids to take care of basically.

"It's right about now that I'm beginning to realize that both of my traveling companions are batshit insane. Zell is astonished to the point of wetting his pants at the fact that we actually have a room on the train (Hey, for 3000 bucks, we'd better have room), and Selphie starts working her lolicon, 12-year-old-maturity charms on you, singing a "Train Song" that she made up impromptu...on the train...singing about how much she loves trains...going to the future? Aw, jesus. I'm actually gonna go hang out with Zell seeing as how he's less crazy. (I can't believe I just said that.) Zell, my God, man! You are in your twenties, stop bouncing on the couch! ...And Selphie is already feeling trainsick. Heavy drama in FINAL FANTASY VIII: THE QUEST FOR DRAMAMINE."

"So, Edward Carnby from the very first Alone in the Dark is somehow still alive... He gets joined by a female sidekick who SWEEPS the Horrible Game Character Awards, taking:"

Most Obviously Crowbarred-in Love Interest
Most Irritating
Least Useful to Gameplay
Least Necessary to Plot

and Lifetime Achievement.

"Perhaps the crowning moment of her hideousness is when she nearly dies and the game forces you to press a button sequence in order to revive her with CPR — although the spiteful cow never actually dies, no matter how many times you deliberately fuck up."

"Roger tags along with Eddie, but he's absolutely useless for everything except being a load, where random birds can abduct him and cost you a life out of guilt. Doom's weasels will also butt in to kidnap Roger, where you're forced into a mini-quiz where you need to answer a bad pun....The pun answers are mostly obvious, nothing remotely on the level as Monkey Island's insult swordfighting responses, but you'll get sick of these after the first one with how commonly the dang weasels accost you."

"It is bizarre how well Adric fits with Tom Baker's Doctor as he was originally envisaged, the cheeky monkey who would get a clout around the ear by the most acerbic of Doctors. It was when he was partnered with Davison's moderate Doctor where things started to go very wrong, because suddenly Adric felt as though he could throw his weight around and betray the Doctor on a whim and still hop back in the TARDIS at the end of every adventure. He wouldn't try any of that shit with Tom Baker's sizeable incarnation or he would get a smack and a boot out of the TARDIS into the vortex."

"First they ran out of Red Shirts, and now the writers of The Walking Dead are fresh out of Convenient Burdens, too. Don't mistake the two: Red Shirts are entirely different from Convenient Burdens. Red Shirts are just disposable cannon fodder, while Convenient Burdens usually aren't even killed — they're just perpetually on the verge of it. And they make for bad storytelling because they're usually painfully transparent: The Convenient Burdens only exist as easy plot devices to put the group in trouble when shit gets boring."