Quotes / The Load

Fiction

Ben: How am I not supposed to take offence to that? What am I, a liability?
Lee: ...
Ben: Great. Just great. Thanks a lot for the vote of confidence.

— The Walking Dead

Take a load off Annie, take a load for free
Take a load off Annie, And (and) (and)
you can put the load right on me"

— The Band, "The Weight"

"Just act stupid, Jamie. Do you think you can manage that?"

—Second Doctor, Doctor Who ("The Dominators")

"I've leaked nothing! Other than accidentally, obviously."

—Robyn, The Thick of It

"You're a constipator, Peanut. You disturb my shit and that's annoying."

—Rube to George, Dead Like Me

"This is unbelievable. Can't cook, won't bathe, and now she's narcoleptic. She's a triple threat."

—John on Noranti, Farscape ("Lava's a Many Splendored Things")

"I'm the tech guy, and I still don't have tech skills, so I'm kind of deadweight."

— Steve "Gooch" Yamaguchi, The Epic Tales of Captain Underpants

Computer: May I remind you, Sgt. Pinback, it was your idea to bring the alien on board in the first place. If I may quote you, you said the ship needed a mascot.
Sgt. Pinback: Awwwwww, I gotta do everything around here!

— Dark Star

"Traveling with Elan is kind of like, say, adventuring with syphilis. It can be done, for a while, but it's not easy and it's not pretty."

— Roy Greenhilt, The Order of the Stick

"I had met Lupino only once. The gangster ran all his rackets through his right-hand man, Vinnie Gognitti. Gognitti was a highstrung whiner on the verge of breaking apart like an overamped Energizer bunny. He had the brains to run the business, but he lacked the balls—always falling short."

—Max Payne

Pops Mc Gillicutty is way too old for this business. Either you force him to retire, or I'm getting out of here!

— Peter "Wolf" Sanderson, Jagged Alliance

"You remember what daddy always said. That God gave you a big sister instead of a brain."

— Meredith (to Flint), Heroes

Anderson Cooper: If you had to do it over again, would you have her on the ticket?
Steve Schmidt: You don't get to go back in time, Anderson, and have do-overs in life.

—Game Change

"Are you sure you want Fluttershy to come along? I mean, that pony is afraid of her own shadow. She's just going to slow us down."

— Rainbow Dash, My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic

Damian: Uh, I know I shouldn't say this...
Su-In Cha: Yeah, my stupid brother is the burden of this group...

—Soul Cartel

[during a training simulation]
Jeffords: Scully, I want you to do nothing. Just stand next to me and say, "Yes Sarge."
Scully: Okay, Sarge.
Jeffords: C'mon, man.

— Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Dru: You have no right to take that! We stole it together!

Gru: Together? (scoffs) You gotta be kidding me! You did nothing but screw up the whole time! I got this in spite of you!

— Despicable Me 3

"It has long been a maxim of MJN Air that when Arthur stops helping, we can do anything."

—Carolyn, Cabin Pressure, "Ipswich"

Reviews

"In the 1940s, the Golden Age of comics defined the modern superhero. Great men and women of unwavering morality and courage! Unfortunately, they were all accompanied by half-naked children, ethnic stereotypes, the morbidly obese and idiots who split their time between getting captured and slipping on banana peels."

—Seanbaby, "The 5 Worst Comic Book Sidekicks of All Time"

"All he does is follow Quaid around and be... funny? I think this is supposed to be funny."

— The Nostalgia Chick, on the Monk character in Dragonheart

"For a start, the film features an actual adventuring party of actual character classes...Even better, they behave as you would: The Rogue has an entire scene dedicated to him detecting and disabling traps, while the Cleric dies just when he's needed the most, just like a real game of D&D."

—Jim Sterling on Dungeons & Dragons: Wrath of the Dragon God

"This is Final Fantasy VIII's only optional dungeon, and it has the potential to be a doozy. Don't listen to a single goddamn word Zell says unless you feel like spending three hours instead of three minutes getting to the bottom. This is something I had to learn the hard way."

—Pat R., "A Series Discovers Its Crack Pipe"

"It is bizarre how well Adric fits with Tom Baker's Doctor as he was originally envisaged, the cheeky monkey who would get a clout around the ear by the most acerbic of Doctors. It was when he was partnered with Davison's moderate Doctor where things started to go very wrong, because suddenly Adric felt as though he could throw his weight around and betray the Doctor on a whim and still hop back in the TARDIS at the end of every adventure. He wouldn't try any of that shit with Tom Baker's sizeable incarnation or he would get a smack and a boot out of the TARDIS into the vortex."

—Joe Ford on Doctor Who, "The Keeper of Traken"

"First they ran out of Red Shirts, and now the writers of The Walking Dead are fresh out of Convenient Burdens, too. Don't mistake the two: Red Shirts are entirely different from Convenient Burdens. Red Shirts are just disposable cannon fodder, while Convenient Burdens usually aren't even killed — they're just perpetually on the verge of it. And they make for bad storytelling because they're usually painfully transparent: The Convenient Burdens only exist as easy plot devices to put the group in trouble when shit gets boring."

— Cracked, "5 Reasons 'The Walking Dead' Has to Get Better"

"If a character only causes a problem, feels no remorse about it, and contributes nothing to the solution, he should invariably get eaten by a dinosaur."

—The Mysterious Mr. Enter on Old Man McGucket in Gravity Falls

Real Life

"Ah, damn...ah, son of a bitch...just that realization that I have to live with you for the rest of the game."

—Arin Hanson, Shovel Knight Co-Op: Daggering Away - PART 13 - Game Grumps

"So sparing you all the painful details of how I literally spent the entire day working on the dumb project by myself... no, you know what? Not even by myself! My team was literally tripping me up, making me end up doing more work than if I just did it completely on my own! And you know how I kept saying that I was really busy during the week with other things? Yeah, I meant busy as in every single day leading up to that Friday, I had a major final exam for a different class to do! You guys suck!"

— JaidenAnimations, My Horrible Nightmare Group Project

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