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Quotes: Suckiness Is Painful
"During a recitation by their Poet Master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found In My Armpit One Midsummer Morning", four of his audience died of internal hemorrhaging and the President of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off."

Fozzie: Boy, did I go to a bad seafood place last night. The catch of the day was salmon-ella. Wocka wocka!
Jack Black: (tied up) Aw! That joke's like 50 years old!
Fozzie: So how 'bout those shopping centers? You seen one, you seen a mall! Take it!

"That was so terrible, I think you gave me cancer!"
Calculon, Futurama

Benzaie: That was the sound of ultimate suffering. My heart made that sound the first time I saw Sonic turning into a werewolf... The Spoony One makes it now.
The Spoony Experiment Let's Plays Pumpkinhead's Revenge

Mike: I wanna be someone that gets killed by a movie. It's happened before: A guy got killed by Avatar because it was so, like, an immersive experience that his heart just went, "Fuck this."
Jay: Well, a lot of people died in the nineties when there was the rise of the gang-banger movies. The Boyz n the Hood ripoffs.
Mike: But they were killed in the theater by gang violence. I wanna be killed by a movie. Like, Avatar killed that guy. I want an Adam Sandler movie to kill me.

"erfh;oerfA:hAHRfAFwe ... Sorry, I was cleaning the vomit off my keyboard."

"I'm only on page four. This comic is 48 pages long. Expect a lot of crying in this episode."
Linkara, on the comic book of Bimbos in Time

Charlie: Did [Edward] hurt you?
Mike: In the sense that boredom can be painful, yes.

"To call Life or Something Like It formulaic would be an understatement of the year. This movie is so goddamn derivative I could recite every contrived plot twist and unbelievable character development. The comedy is flat and uninspired. And if you want to see something that will make your head explode, then watch Angelina Jolie sing an a Capella version of the Rolling Stonesí I Canít Get No Satisfaction. That is a crime against humanity."
Miles Antwiler on Film/Life or Something Like It (2002)

"I have no memory of last yearís Ubisoft conference. Iím told that when the medics finally arrived, I was in a state of catatonic shut-down, common in trauma victims. My psyche had endured such an immense shock, it simply refused to allow any further input. The jokes were that bad."
IGN on Mr. Caffeine's performance during Ubisoft's presentation during E3 2011.

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