Just because my character is evil doesn't mean I want to slaughter my party. They're a means to an end — it's a lot of work recruiting a group of grunts, and why would Suleidan waste time doing that when he has perfectly good damage sponges already living in his manor?
— I Have a Secret article on Wizards' site.
I am compelled to do evil, regardless of its utility.
— Dmitri Noumenon - Dark Kantian, Dresden Codak
When they were halfway across the river, the scorpion stung the frog. "You fool!" croaked the frog, "Now we shall both drown! Why on earth did you do that?" The scorpion shrugged. "I'm a scorpion. It's in my nature."
Chimera: Uhmmmmmm... excuse me... but what in the seventeen hells are you doing?
Dewcup: Pardon me. I was told that poking and otherwise annoying huge, fearsome creatures was 'bad'.
Chimera: An apt description. Why would you want this?
Dewcup: I am Princess Dewcup of the Wood Elves. A recent encounter with a Drow has showed me a new way of life. A life of power and strength. I am abandoning my Wood-Elf ways and turning to badness. I wish to join the Drow.
Chimera: Gotcha. I see your problem. You have confused 'bad' meaning 'evil' with 'bad' meaning 'really stupid'.
Dewcup: And that's not what I wish to become?
Chimera: No, you seem to have that one down pat.
Zim: I blew up more than all the other invaders!
Tallest Red: You blew up all the other invaders.
Dr. Sivana: This is why you're always losing money, getting thrown in jail and killing each other!
Shimmer: Why, because we're evil
Dr. Sivana: No, because you're schmucks.
Arcade Gannon: What are you thinking?! Do you want to see Vegas turned into the new slave capital of the west?!
Courier: Actually, yes. I would like to see New Vegas turned into a slavery hub.
Arcade Gannon: Great. You're either unimaginably cruel or profoundly insane!
Kreia: Are psychotic urges all that drive you?
Tyrion Lannister to King Joffrey: We've had vicious kings and we've had idiot kings, but I don't think we've ever been cursed with a vicious idiot before!
"I theorize that the halfling does not possess a true sentient brain, like you or I, but rather a simple, primitive 'proto-brain' that can only process two emotional reactions to people: Hate or Lust."