Quotes: Properly Paranoid

"When everybody is out to get you, paranoia is just straight thinking."
Dr. Johnny Fever, WKRP in Cincinnati

"I have the U.S. military spray-painting my name onto a wall, setting laser trip mines, and firing a fucking rocket launcher at me, and people have the gall to call me paranoid. Fuck them. Fuck everybody! Anyone who doesn't listen to me deserves the fate they get!"

"Everyone's always told me that I'm paranoid and need to calm down, but guess what? I'm alive, and everyone who told me that is dead! That's the ultimate proof that someone doesn't know what the hell they're talking about."
Gordon Freeman, Freemans Mind

"Done the things I've done, there's no such thing as paranoia."
Eliot, Leverage

"Paranoid is what they call people who imagine threats against their life. I have threats against my life."
Garak, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, "For the Cause"

"Every time I think I'm paranoid enough, my enemies find a new way to show me different."
Crimson, City of Heroes

"It's one thing to believe that everyone is out to get you. Quite another when it's actually true."

"A paranoiac, my friend... is a person who has gone crazy in the most intelligent, well-informed way, the world being what it is."
Kurt Vonnegut, Look At The Birdie

"A paranoiac is a guy who knows a little of what's going on."

"No matter how paranoid you are, you're not paranoid enough."

Odo: Aren't you being a little paranoid?
Weyoun: Of course I'm paranoid! Everyone is trying to kill me!
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, "Treachery, Faith, and the Great River"

"It's not paranoia when they really are out to get you."
Martin Willett

"Just because you're paranoid, don't mean they're not after you"
Nirvana, "Territorial Pissings" (from Nevermind, 1991)

"Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you."
Agent Mulder, The X-Files, episode 2x23 "Soft Light" (aired March 31, 1995)

Marco: I live in a paranoid world. But just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean I don't have enemies. I have real enemies. Enemies that would freeze your blood if you only knew.

"Remember: A Paranoid is simply someone in possession of all the facts."
Spider Jerusalem, Transmetropolitan

They are used to ease irrational fears (which is silly; in Alpha Complex there are no irrational fears.)

79. Fear everything, it's safer.

"Constant Vigilance!"
"Mad-Eye" Moody impersonator!, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Some people think this is paranoia, but it isn't. Paranoids only think everyone is out to get them. Wizards know it.

"Paranoia: You only have to be right once for it to be worthwhile."

"How can I be paranoid...when the paranoid mother-fuckers who are making me paranoid are really out there?"

I know I'm paranoid, but am I paranoid enough?
GURPS Illuminati, Written on the cover in dark grey text on black background.

"Paranoia is just reality on a finer scale."
Philo Gant, Strange Days

"You know what, Grady? Some people think I'm overly prepared, paranoid, maybe even a little bit crazy...but they never met any pre-Cambrian lifeforms, did they?"

"Why?" Gareth bleated. "What's wrong? For three days you've been running away from your own shadows..."
"That's right," John agreed, and there was a dangerous edge to his quiet voice. "You ever think what might happen to you if your own shadow caught you? Now ride — and ride silent."
Dragon's Bane

Phoebe: I don't know what you're up to but whatever it is, it is not gonna work.
Cole: Don't you think you're being a little paranoid?
Phoebe: With my demon ex-husband from hell? No, Cole, I don't.

"Paranoid? Probably. But just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face."
Harry Dresden, Storm Front

The Doctor: [The weapons] are useless, Brigadier.
The Brigadier: Not this time, Doctor. [Shows him different bullets] Armor piercing, solid core with Teflon coating. Go through a Dalek. UNIT's been very busy, Doctor. We also got high-explosive rounds for Yetis and very efficient armour-piercing rounds for Robots. And we even got gold-tipped bullets for you-know-what.
The Doctor: No silver?
Brigadier: Silver bullets?
The Doctor: Well, you never know.
Brigadier: Quartermaster Sergeant! Silver bullets, have we any?note 

"Even paranoids have enemies."
Joseph Berke, psychotherapist

"Isn't that the nice part of going mad? You realize you weren't paranoid after all."
Helen Narbon, Narbonic

"Well, I guess it's true; it's not paranoia when someone's really after you."
Terry Stricter, Bowfinger

Leif: You're the most paranoid man I've ever met.
Atticus: I'm also the longest-lived man you've ever met.

"You know, the lesson here might be that fear and paranoia is a bad thing, except that's what saved us."
Ron Stoppable, Kim Possible

"I always think everything could be a trap...which is why I'm still alive."
Prince Humperdinck, The Princess Bride

"Even a paranoid can have enemies."
— rumored to have been said by Golda Meir to Henry Kissinger during the 1973 Sinai talks, after he accused her of being paranoid for refusing to grant the Palestinians additional concessions

Michael: Even paranoids have enemies.
Sam: Yeah, you're living proof of that. [Mike stares at him] Well, you know, a little.
— "Wanted Man", Burn Notice

"Give me a man that's not paranoid in this company and I will show you a man with twelve knives in his back."

"Where I come from, paranoia is just another word for 'not dead yet'."
Kremlin, Ex Machina

"Are there any paranoids in the audience tonight?! Is there anyone here who's weak? Heheheheh, pathetic. This song's called 'Run Like Hell'."
Roger Waters, Once an Episode; live performances of The Wall in The '80s

"Paranoids are only people who imagine responsibly."
New Old Saying

"I do not know what is more terrible, that I have begun to take every possible precaution for the slightest action, or that I have been proven perfectly justified in doing so."
Polo of Sealock, Polo Quest

"Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you."
Spike Logan, Killer Elite

"Only the paranoid survive."