Quotes / Properly Paranoid

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    Comic Books 

Where I come from, paranoia is just another word for "not dead yet."
Kremlin, Ex Machina

Remember: A Paranoid is simply someone in possession of all the facts.
Spider Jerusalem, Transmetropolitan

    Film - Live-Action 

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
Spike Logan, Killer Elite

I always think everything could be a trap. Which is why I'm still alive.
Prince Humperdinck, The Princess Bride

Paranoia is just reality on a finer scale.
Philo Gant, Strange Days

You know what, Grady? Some people think I'm overly prepared, paranoid, maybe even a little bit crazy... but they never met any pre-Cambrian lifeforms, did they?

    Literature 

I live in a paranoid world. But just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean I don't have enemies. I have real enemies. Enemies that would freeze your blood if you only knew.
Marco, Animorphs: The Predator

Some people think this is paranoia, but it isn't. Paranoids only think everyone is out to get them. Wizards know it.

"Why?" Gareth bleated. "What's wrong? For three days you've been running away from your own shadows..."
"That's right," John agreed, and there was a dangerous edge to his quiet voice. "You ever think what might happen to you if your own shadow caught you? Now ride - and ride silent."
Dragon's Bane

Paranoid? Probably. But just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face.
Harry Dresden, Storm Front

Hastur was paranoid, which was simply a sensible and well-adjusted reaction to living in Hell, where they really were all out to get you.

Constant Vigilance!
"Mad-Eye" Moody impersonator!, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Leif: You're the most paranoid man I've ever met.
Atticus: I'm also the longest-lived man you've ever met.
Hounded

A paranoiac, my friend... is a person who has gone crazy in the most intelligent, well-informed way, the world being what it is.

Fear is what keeps a man alive in this world of treachery and deceit.

It's one thing to believe that everyone is out to get you. Quite another when it's actually true.

    Live-Action TV 

Garibaldi: For starters, I don't know you, therefore I don't trust you.
Lochley: The world's full of people you don't know.
Garibaldi: I worry about that all the time.
Babylon 5, "Strange Relations"

Michael: Even paranoids have enemies.
Sam: Yeah, you're living proof of that! (Mike glares at him) Well, you know, a little.
Burn Notice, "Wanted Man"

Cole: Don't you think you're being a little paranoid?
Phoebe: With my demon ex-husband from hell? No, Cole, I don't.
Charmed

The Brigadier: Armor piercing, solid core with Teflon coating. Go through a Dalek. UNIT's been very busy, Doctor. We also got high-explosive rounds for Yetis and very efficient armour-piercing rounds for Robots. And we even got gold-tipped bullets for you-know-what.
The Doctor: No silver?
Brigadier: Silver bullets?
The Doctor: Well, you never know.
Brigadier: Quartermaster Sergeant! Silver bullets, have we any?note 

Done the things I've done, there's no such thing as paranoia.
Eliot, Leverage

Only the paranoid survive.

Give me a man that's not paranoid in this company and I will show you a man with twelve knives in his back.

Paranoid is what they call people who imagine threats against their life. I have threats against my life.
Garak, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, "For the Cause"

When everybody is out to get you, paranoia is just straight thinking.
Dr. Johnny Fever, WKRP in Cincinnati

No matter how paranoid you are, you're not paranoid enough.

    Music 

Are there any paranoids in the audience tonight?! Is there anyone here who's weak? Heheheheh, pathetic. This song's called "Run Like Hell."
Roger Waters, Once an Episode during live performances of The Wall in The '80s

    Stand-Up Comedy 

How can I be paranoid... when the paranoid mother-fuckers who are making me paranoid are really out there?

    Tabletop Games 

They are used to ease irrational fears (which is silly; in Alpha Complex there are no irrational fears.)

I know I'm paranoid, but am I paranoid enough?

    Video Games 

Every time I think I'm paranoid enough, my enemies find a new way to show me different.
Crimson, City of Heroes

    Webcomics 

Isn't that the nice part of going mad? You realize you weren't paranoid after all.
Helen Narbon, Narbonic

Tagon: Kevyn, Thurl, I need to be one hundred percent sure that nobody else has a back-door into this artificial intelligence you're installing for the ship.
Kevyn: Sir, it's all commercial hardware, from six different vendors with three completely unique value chains. The only way for there to be out-of-spec back doors or faults common to all these systems is if there were a secret cabal or conspiracy among all the manufacturers and vendors we used. Of course, if there were such a cabal, they probably wouldn't have our best interests in mind...
Tagon: Welcome to my world, Kevyn.

Sploorfix: Vexxarr, why do you always have to be so cynical?
Vexxarr: Oh, I dunno... always being right might have something to do with it...
Vexxarr

    Web Original 

I do not know what is more terrible, that I have begun to take every possible precaution for the slightest action, or that I have been proven perfectly justified in doing so.
Polo of Sealock, Polo Quest

Everyone's always told me that I'm paranoid and need to calm down, but guess what? I'm alive, and everyone who told me that is dead! That's the ultimate proof that someone doesn't know what the hell they're talking about. "Aliens aren't invading, Freeman. You're just being paranoid." "The mailman's not spying on you, Freeman. You're just being paranoid." What else... "There's no society of anthropomorphic frog people living in the sewer, Freeman. You're just being paranoid." "Owls can't read your thoughts, Freeman. You're just being paranoid." Bet you wouldn't call me paranoid now if you were still alive!

79. Fear everything, it's safer.

    Western Animation 

You know, the lesson here might be that fear and paranoia is a bad thing, except that's what saved us.
Ron Stoppable, Kim Possible

    Real Life 

Even paranoids have enemies.
Joseph Berke, psychotherapist

A paranoiac is a guy who knows a little of what's going on.

Even a paranoid can have enemies.
— Allegedly Golda Meir to Henry Kissinger during the 1973 Sinai talks, after he accused her of being paranoid for refusing to grant the Palestinians additional concessions

It's not paranoia when they really are out to get you.
Martin Willett

Paranoia: You only have to be right once for it to be worthwhile.
— Anonymous

Paranoids are only people who imagine responsibly.
— New Old Saying


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