Quotes: Only in Florida

"After previous investigations in four different states, we've seen and heard some strange things, but even we were surprised at what we found here in Florida."
Chris Hansen, Dateline: To Catch a Predator

“Kim Jong-un doesn't understand that we aren't afraid of him. What that guy doesn't get is that we already have an unstable peninsula that will ultimately bring down America. It’s called Florida.”
Conan O Brien, at the 2013 White House Correspondents' Dinner

"It was what amounted to a happy ending for the starring couple in a tragic and inimitably Floridian morality tale involving sex, liquor, self-defense law, erectile dysfunction and a man shot to death with his pants around his knees."
The Tampa Bay Times, describing the case of a man killing his wife's lover.

"Everyone in Florida is stupid.
Everyone in Florida is dumb.
I may not be the brightest guy, but next to them, my IQ's high.
If they played guitar, this is how they'd strum.
(unprofessional guitar solo)
Family Guy, "Into Harmony's Way"

"I've heard a bit about [Florida] from demons who used to live there when they were humans. Apparently, it's essentially a very large retirement home in which bizarre, sometimes Lovecraftian events are rather commonplace. Is that about right?"

"Florida, mmmh! I feel like Florida and Arizona are locked in a harm's race!"
Jon Stewart, on the Trayvon Martin shooting and the Stand Your Ground law, The Daily Show

"Florida, you don't get to judge others when your state motto is, 'If Darwin was right, we wouldn't be here.'"
Jon Stewart, The Daily Show

"[The Miami Floridians] was a franchise with its own special lore. I don't know if it was the warm weather and people feeling like they could do anything they wanted, but there were a lot of crazy stories coming out of there, even by ABA standards."
Rudy Martzke, quoted in Loose Balls: The Short, Wild Life of the American Basketball Association by Terry Pluto

O! Florida!
A southern drunken land!
Let's all get nude!
Because God's son commands!
We've filled our bras
With strange gew-gaws!
In the true South,
Mad and free!
With chainsaws in hand,
O! Florida!
We snort bath salts for thee!
God so commands
We get naked and party!
O! Florida!
We loose our tops for thee!
O! Florida!
We'll destroy the world for thee!
Florida Anthemnote , Written by Derek the Bard for Radio Dead Air