Quotes / Mistaken for Gay

Ryan: Can I stay with you for a while? We could tell your landlord I'm gay.
Colin: Boy, that would be zany!

Bert and Ernie are best friends. They were created to teach preschoolers that people can be good friends with those who are very different from themselves. Even though they are identified as male characters and possess many human traits and characteristics... they remain puppets, and do not have a sexual orientation. ”
— Sesame Workshop statement, August 11, 2011 (issued in response to a Change.org petition to have Bert and Ernie marry which circulated shortly after gay marriage was legalized in the state of New York)

Marcus: My ass stills hurts from what you did to it the other night!
Mike: Hey, it got rough. We got caught up in the moment, shit got crazy. You know how I get.
Marcus: When you popped me from behind I think you damaged some nerves!
Angry customer: (to the store manager) In front of my babies, you got porno and homo shows up in here? What kind of freak-ass store is this?! (to Marcus and Mike, as they're walking out) And you two motherfuckers need Jesus!"

Scott: I'm in love with my pen pal! I'm in love with Mike!
Cooper: Okay, okay. You know what? I was actually expecting this. And frankly, listen, I'm flattered that you picked me to come out to first. And don't worry about telling your folks, cause, eh, I think they already know.
Scott: No, you idiot, Mike is a girl!
Cooper: No, no, no, I get it, yeah. He's the girl, you're the girl. Sometimes you're both the girl. Right, right? That's hot. But, you know, whatever works for you. I'm not gonna judge it.

Grace: Do you have a girlfriend?
Alex: No.
Grace: How old are you now?
Alex: I'll be 36 in October.
Grace: My grandson's gay, too. I'll give you his number.

Liz: What made you think I was gay?
Jack: Your shoes.
Liz: Well, I'm straight.
Jack: Those shoes are definitely bi-curious.

Gordon: Come on, touch my breast. Just one.
Coleman: I knew it!
West: Now touch my breast. See, that's what a breast is supposed to feel like. Now touch yourself.
Gordon: Oh my God, I'm hard!

And if you look off to the left side of the ship, you'll see a bunch of homosexuals. (Something translated in Spanish)...fanny bandits.

Can't a dude stick his hand down another man's pants without setting off the faggot alarm?
T.J. Hicks, Deuce Bigalow

Michael: She thinks I'm gay! I told her about Julie and she thinks I'm gay!
George: Julie thinks you're gay?
Michael: No, my friend Sandy.
George: Sleep with her!
Michael: I slept with her already! She's still thinks I'm gay.
George: ...oh, that's not good, Michael.

There were three things that people assumed upon first meeting Aziraphale: That he was intelligent, that he was British, and that he was gayer than a tree full of monkeys high on nitrous oxide.

Dean: Of course, the most troubling question is why do these people assume we're gay?
Sam: Well, you are kind of butch. They probably think you're overcompensating.
Supernatural, Playthings

Cpt. Peter Lassard: I need to get my hands on some healthy young men.
Cmd. Eric Lassard: (awkward) ...I guess there are places you could go ...certain bars and so on...
Cpt. Peter Lassard: Eric, what are you talking about?
Cmd. Eric Lassard: Does Margret know about this?
Cpt. Peter Lassard: Eric, I'm in trouble here and I need some new recruits!
Cmd. Eric Lassard: Oooooh! That's easy!

George: Look, we're not gay.
Jerry: Not That There's Anything Wrong with That!
George: No, no, of course not!

Lancelot: We were in the nick of time, you were in a great peril.
Galahad: I don't think I was.
Lancelot: Yes, you were, you were in a terrible peril!
Galahad: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril!
Lancelot: No, it was too perilous!
Galahad: Look, it's a duty of a knight to sample as much peril as I can!
Lancelot: No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on!
Galahad: Well, let me have just a little bit of peril?
Lancelot: No, it's unhealthy.
Galahad: Bet you're gay!
Lancelot: No, I'm not.

Val: Hope you don't mind my saying, Doctor, but you look ever so sweet. You and your partner and the baby.
Doctor: "Partner." Yes, I like it. Is it better than companion?
Val: Sounds old-fashioned. There's no need to be coy, not in this day and age.
- Doctor Who, "Closing Time"

Mels: Come on. Seriously. It's got to be you two. Oh cut to the song, it's getting boring.
Amy: Nice thought, okay? But completely impossible.
Rory: Yeah. Impossible.
Amy: I'd love to. He's gorgeous. He's my favorite guy. But he's, you know—
Rory: —a friend.
Amy: —gay.
Rory: I'm not gay.
Amy: Yes you are.
Rory: No. No I'm not.
Amy: Of course you are, don't be stupid. In the whole time I've known you, when have you shown the slightest interest in a girl?
Mels: Penny in the air.
Amy: I mean I've known you for what, ten years? I've seen you practically every day. Name one girl you've paid the slightest bit of attention to. [Rory's mouth opens, closes, opens...and he runs out of the room. Realisation plays over Amy's face]. ...Oh my God! Rory! [She runs after him].
Mels: And the penny drops.
Doctor Who, "Let's Kill Hitler"

Frank the Magikoopa: Now on your brooms and think happy thoughts. Like titties!!
(Hal and Jeff try to use the brooms and end up plummeting to their doom.)
Hal and Jeff: Ahhhhhh!
Frank the Magikoopa: What are you.... Gay?!
Bowser's Kingdom, episode 2

For the record, if anyone out there still cares, I'm not actually gay.
Dr. John Watsonnote , Sherlock

"I'm just saying," Michael continued without malice, bending to do something delicate and ornate with the fuel pump, "that certain… traits have been called to my attention and I just wanted to let you know that it makes absolutely no difference in our friendship. You are the same man that I met and respected years ago."
"Thank you, Michael, that means a lot to me," Harry said sincerely. "It would probably mean much more if I were actually gay."

Kakyoin: Hey, Jotaro. Could you give me that, please? It's my favorite.
Jotaro: Gasp!? Kakyoin, are you...
Kakyoin: That cherry...that cherry, please.
Jotaro: Oh, a cherry. Yeah, here. There, go you.
(Jotaro gives Kakyoin a pair of cherries.)
Kakyoin: Thanks. Rerorerorero.
(Kakyoin eats the cherry in his trademark manner.)

Jay Cutler: So Rodgers, I suppose that makes you sort of “bye-curious?”
Ben Roethlisberger: IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE HE’S GAY.
Tom Brady: Sounds to me like you’ve been UNDER someone’s junk already.

Hitomi: For you two [Madoka and Sayaka] to have gotten so close in just one night- what did you do after I left yestderday?!
Sayaka: I can't believe she's going there...
Hitomi: You're both girls! [Runs away] Girls can't love girls, girls can't love girls, girls can't love girls!

Freeza: Zarbon, what could possibly be so important that you need to interrupt me during my call?
Zarbon: Well I need to call my girlfriend.
Freeza: Well I- Ginyu, I'll call you back. Come again?
Zarbon: You see our one year anniversary is coming up and I want to see where she wants to go so we can make reservations early.
Freeza: Oh... and all this time I could have sworn you were... never mind.
Zarbon: What, you thought I was single?
Freeza: Well, no, I just... I thought you were into... you know, it really doesn't matter.
Zarbon: Well it matters to me because frankly it sounds like you thought I was-
Minion: Lord Freeza! Vegeta's broken out of the healing tan-[explodes]
Freeza: Oh no, that minion died. Could you go fix that? We'll continue this conversation never.

Kanji: What are you guys doing?
Yosuke: Watching you hanging out with a dude!
Chie: Not That There's Anything Wrong with That!
Yosuke: Yeah! I mean, if you like dudes...
Kanji: You sayin' I like dudes...?
Narrator: And then there was a wacky chase scene.
Kanji: Nooooo come back I love girls!!

Liz: People ask me, "What's wrong with your brother-in-law? Is he gay?"
Arthur: And what do you say?
Liz: I say, "I honestly don't know." I say, "I don't think so, but it's hard to tell these days."
Arthur: Well, thanks!
Liz: Face facts, Arthur - a man your age, living with his mother, doesn't go out with women, does all the cooking - what else is one to think?
Arthur: Perhaps one could think that here is a man who, for a change, puts his mother's welfare ahead of trying to prove his own manhood by chasing after everything in a skirt that moves!
Liz: No, that's far too complicated. They'll just think you're gay.
Maggie: (walking in from the kitchen) Who's gay?
Arthur: I am, apparently!
"Can we get on?" said Crowley. "Goodnight, miss. Get in, angel." Ah. Well, that explained it. She had been perfectly safe after all.