Quotes: It's Not Supposed to Win Oscars
One evening I introduced the editor of The New Yorker
to several hundred of the essential players, as stars and magnates of the largest multitude are currently known. I quoted myself: 'To be truly commercial is to do well that which should not be done at all.' Silence like the tomb
engulfed these words. But the commercialites have their own weird integrity
, and their productions are often rather better than those of the auteurs
, as 'serious' directors are inappropriately known in these parts.
When you talk about a great actor, you're not talking about Tom Cruise.
How much money did Transformers 4 make? Exactly. Those people can complain – they all go to the theater. They're gonna love it. And if they don't love it, they can fuck off, and that's the end of that.
I had a big argument with an actress friend of mine who said, 'The worst actors are in daytime!' And I don't even take it personally, because it's just out of ignorance. If she had said the worst acting is in day
time, I could go along with it, because time does not permit anybody to have the kind of quality that we'd like. It's like doing summer stock, and you can't compare summer stock to a Broadway show. It's tough.
It was only later that I realized that the older fans had reacted badly to it, so I went, 'Well, it's a shame that they have, but it wasn't meant for them.'
Every medium, of course, has things like this. Not every song is 'Famous Blue Raincoat,' and not every movie is The Fountain
. (And as an aside, that is the best song and best movie ever, and if you disagree you are wrong) ...Frankly, the world would be no worse off if Sugar Ray's 'I Just Wanna Fly' were eradicated, and that was a horrifically popular song. But all the same, there is some sort of line between acts of creation that matter and ones that don't.
''Hey, it’s Stallone
, not DeNiro
. The man’s emotional depth as an actor is basically a kiddy pool.'
Now if you'll permit me, I'd like to compare Revenge Of The Sith with what is widely believed to be one of the greatest motion pictures ever made: Citizen Kane. Is that fair? NOPE.
Should I even mention the plot of this movie? Do you ever think Hudson Hawk will have some brilliant Mamet dialog or tight scripting?
Fifty Shades Of Grey is going to win Oscars in the same universe where Parasite Hilton is going to sweep the Grammys, Tori Spelling is going to sweep the Emmys, Meryl Streep is going to sweep the Razzies, I’m going to win a Pulitzer for my dedication to writing about dick cheese and Lindsay Lohan is going to win something besides another court date. But
Fifty Shades of Shit’s screenwriter, Kelly Marcel, thinks that at the 2016 Oscars, 2015′s Best Actress Oscar winner, January Jones for The Mother Theresa Story, will say the words, 'And the Oscar goes to JAMIE DORNAN,' as hell freezes over...If anybody’s going to get an Oscar for
Fifty Shades of Mom Jizz it better be the tampon, because it probably gives the most multi-layered performance in that shit.
— Michael K.
, "Jamie Dornan Will Get An Oscar For Playing Christian Grey, So Says Fifty Shades Of Grey
Neelix getting his rocks off with a buxom Klingon babe? What the hell is all this
shit? ...At least most of the episode is played for laughs (or at least I hope that it is…most of the material is really very daft so there is no other way to view it!) so it is b-movie watchable, but throughout I was scratching my head thinking ‘why am I watching this?’ which has become my default
...if I was hard pressed to find something actually good about the show, I’d have to say that it does a decent job with Lois. Not the best job, and not even the best on TV — she’s not as smart, sassy or well-acted as Dana DeLaney on Superman The Animated Series, but that’s like comparing the Mona Lisa to fingerpaints.
Some people like to use the word ['overanalyzing'] as a replacement for 'this movie's dumb, and you're going to ruin it for me if you make me use my brain!'
"But SO many people keep telling me 'Oh, it's a popcorn movie! Can't you just have fun? Nyeh...' Well, let me tell you something; a water slide is fun. All the slipping and sliding, it's just great. But if someone took you off the waterslide, shook you, gave you a noogie and then spat in your face and put you back on the water slide, you'd be like... 'That wasn't fun; that was weird and annoying.' And THAT'S this movie."