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Film — Live-action
How many times have I told you not to call me "Urkel?!" My name is Jaleel White! Urkel was a character I played when I was a child!
"George Lucas ruined my life and I mean this in the nicest way possible."
Jay: Hey wait a second, aren't you that guy that fucked a pie?
Jason Biggs: You see man? You see? It's never "Hey, you were in Loser weren't you" or "Dude you rocked in Boys and Girls". No it always comes back to that fucking pie, I'm haunted by it!
James Van Der Beek: You put your dick in a pie.
Jason Biggs: Enough! I'm Jason Biggs.
Jay: Holy shit you're the Dawson!
James Van Der Beek: James, actually, James Van Der Beek.
This man had to be Captain Kangaroo for over thirty fucking years! No scandal, no controversy, drank a lot. You would too. I don't think he knew the show was going to go thirty fucking years. 'Goddamn it, I'm fucking Captain Kangaroo. Thought the fucking gig would last two or three years, I didn't think I'd spend my whole fucking life as Captain Kangaroo! I was an actor, I was in the Actor's Studio, I wanted to do Death of a Salesman, I wanted to play Willy. My God, I'm Captain KANGAROO!'
Then why does my head turn in response to a stranger on the street who calls out that name? Why do I feel a twinge when someone says, “What happened to your ears?” I am not Spock.
Then why do I feel a wonderful warmth when I hear or read a compliment aimed at the Vulcan?
Spock for President reads the bumper sticker on the car in front of me. I’m filled with pride and I smile. I’m not Spock.
But if I’m not, who is? And if I’m not Spock, then who am I?
Princess Leia was famous, and I looked like her.