Quotes / Haven

(note: if you came here from anything to do with the TV series, this isn't about it, it's about a community member):

You mean Haven is the force accelerating combustion on a mass scale.
Haven, you are a terrible person for making that terrible pun and you deserve to die for it.

Haven, many, many times.

Oh, Haven! Your dedication is as rock hard as your finely chiseled body!
That is simultaneously the best and worst pun every written. Good Sir, I owe you a beer which I will them immediately slap out of your hands.
—Polymorphus, regarding something I wrote in the FATAL thread

One love is a crooking lie,
Life burns at the touch of the Reaper Haven,
All threads must pass.
I wasn't sure where to put this but it must be put somewhere because it is something you said that was hilarious so here it goes. "They can't be that drunk if they can still enunciate brackets."
Lucky Revenant on why Haven is amazing

Because Haven wears the pants on TV Tropes?
Nobody watches Real Life anymore. So what if you're the main character?
Haven, when you come back from work, could you go shopping for food? Kansas is almost all out of groceries in every time period, and everyone else on TV Tropes is busy doing housework.
I had a snappy and brilliant point, but then I forgot when I saw Haven's picture... Oooh muscles.

And approval isn't really a prerequisite for shipping. Otherwise the only ship allowed is Haven/all hot girls ever forever, and it's a really specific form of shipping where we get a spacestation with a hot tub.

Haven speaks the wisest of words.
Ah, right, poop...ruins so many things.
—wisdom from the man himself

Raw Power: You have ballz of steel.
Arcan Genth: And a head of pudding...
—Three tropers on Haven's demand for critical recognition of Light and Dark The Adventures of Dark Yagami on a dare from Scholastica

Have you ever felt Havenish? Wonderful feeling, really.
—Haven; quote brought to you by Blackmoon...whoever that is...

Grog: Was that an intentional pun?
Scholastica: It's Haven. If it wasn't inentional it is because he was doing it subconciously. Like a reflex.

Haven: Thy will be done.
Vandro talking about avatars, but still

Haven: No. Shut the fuck up. Let us never speak of this again.
No. Fuck you. I am taking away your punning liscense.
rumetzen, evidently not a fan of puns

Anonymous User: So I have it in my mind that Central Avenue, Haven and Ozbourne track down people who refuse to read Homestuck or haven't yet and torture them. You needed to know this.
Central Avenue: But I don't even read Homestuck! I must be in it just for the torture...

Competing with the Pungeon Master is obviously suicide and you should never try it.
The man himself

oh gods I'm not going to be able to sleep I'm afraid that AT ANY MOMENT WITHOUT WARNING I will understand that you just posted a pun
Aiming for about 20% more hopes crushed.
I think the more pertinent question is why wouldn't Haven have a TARDIS?
Stupid Haven. He always gets the sexy useful powers.
A Haven without puns would hardly be a Haven at all.
Juan Carlos: Always attack planeswalkers on sight.
Blackmoon: And never forget: Haven is a planeswalker.
Zudak: He is actually Chandra in disguise.
Count Dorku: I suddenly understand everything.

I keep expecting Haven to pop in and take whatever I say and add "PONY" to it
Central Avenue

The puns. They are endless. Seriously, pun after pun. I am in awe. I would never dream of doing that. It hurts my brain just to make up one pun. To do it over and over...it took James Joyce 17 years to write Finnegans Wake. Haven could've done it over the weekend. Jeez Lou-fucking-ise.
Imipolex G

And Haven is the best thing to have ever happened to the internet. HAVEN DIED AND WAS PUNISHED FOR YOUR SINS! HE WAS ALSO SET ON FIRE VIA MAGIC, OK?
Idler: No-one ever tries to seduce me.
Tzetze: Well maybe you should make more puns.

In the land of the insecure, the one-balled man is king.
- Haven himself

"Haven could beat Caw-Blade with three lands, a get-out-of-jail-free monopoly card, and a stick of gum."
Haven's first act as director of Florida's Turnpike Enterprise was to rename the road "Yuri Turnpike."

However, Haven's time as director was short-lived, as he was forced to resign after spending $20, 000 on signs reading "Speed Limit PONY". He didn't seem too upset, however—he told interviewers, "Eh, that job was starting to take a toll on me anyhow."
Haven, you're like a teddy bear filled with cyanide, you don't get grumpy...You just kill everyone that touches you.
—Counterclock, on cockatrice

"You! You clicked this thread, you have acknowledged your Hitlerism! Why? Why do you like things ironically? Why are you a Hitler!?"