- "Welcome To Haven":
- "Sketchy": Jess Minion's attempt to get a bewildered Nathan out to her place by telling him a ridiculous prowler story, while Audrey gleefully collaborates. Jess invents a six foot seven unibrowed slingshotty monster and Nathan still doesn't pick up on the fact that Jess is hitting on him. Audrey finally has mercy on him and arranges the date for him.
- "As You Were": Duke's response to being trapped on an island with a murderous shapeshifter is to walk around with an axe and a bottle of wine.
- "This never would have happened if I still HAD MY AXE."
- "This is why you don't throw people birthday parties!"
- "The Hand You're Dealt":
- Audrey and Duke try to interview an old, fat man about the Colorado Kid Murder, but he is apparently senile and starts stripping in front of them. The two call him crazy and quickly leave.
- Everyone's reactions to Duke hitting on Vanessa, who babysat him when he was a child.
- "The Trial of Audrey Parker": Say it with me, "I NEED A HUG!"
- Duke's response to finding out that Nathan can feel in "Fear and Loathing." Starts with the gleeful realization that he could punch Nathan in the face and Nathan would feel it, ends with him offering to hire a hooker to help Nathan "process."
- Also, this conversation when Duke thinks his potential killer is in the area:
Duke: I want police protection, around the clock! I pay my taxes.
Nathan: No, you don't.
Duke: ...some of them.
Nathan: No, you don't.
- "Sparks and Recreation" onward: The way everybody fawns over Mayor Brody and his son Chris. Particularly Nathan, whose constant smiling and bright eyes make it both unnerving and hilarious.
- Duke's reactions are even funnier, especially in "Audrey Parker's Day Off".
- When both Duke and Nathan realize Chris is troubled, their constant attempts to avoid looking at him are just as hilarious.
- "Friend or Faux":
- Duke sarcastically confesses, "I'm secretly afraid of bananas, I've never been windsurfing naked, and deep down in my heart I KNOW that Bigfoot is real."
- Nathan gets drunk and tries to dance. He can't.
- "Business As Usual": Audrey needs a legal excuse to arrest someone she suspects of kidnapping a Troubled man, since Nathan wants her to follow police procedure. The one she uses?
Audrey: Nathan, that man is jaywalking.
- Then later, after she's arrested him and has the man handcuffed to a pipe, Nathan's trying to talk her down, she peeks over his shoulder to shout...
Audrey: State law, you need to cross at the corners!
- "Sins of the Fathers": Duke, thinking he is dreaming, looks out the window and tries to find mermaids in the water.
- "Silent Night": Audrey repeatedly telling everyone it's not Christmas, Duke hitting on girls while dressed as Santa Claus, everyone getting confused when Audrey throws a Christmas party, Nathan and Duke excusing themselves when they find that they're Under The Mistletoe.
- In "Stay", after Duke finds one of the cavemen:
Audrey: (to Duke, on the phone) Listen, can you restrain him?
*Duke sees a truck pulling in*
Duke (to new arrival) Hey, Dwight. I've got Audrey on the phone. *points at snarling caveman* She wants you to restrain that guy.
- Later, when they see a naked man run past the window, Dwight, Dave, and Vince rush out to help. Duke shrugs and continues reading.
- Duke's reaction to being sent to 1955: "Oh God, I hate this town."
- And when he finds out what's actually happened:
Man: It's 1955. It's the year you should think about sobering up.
Duke: Actually, I think that it's the year I start drinking. Heavily.
- Sarah grabbing Nathan by the ear and dragging him out of the building.
- "Burned": Duke acting like a pirate under Ginger's influence.
- "Last Goodbyes": Audrey knows Vince and Dave aren't the Skinwalker because they aren't telling her everything.
- "Thanks For The Memories":
- Dave getting locked in the trunk of a car repeatedly.
- Nathan trying and failing to stop Audrey from seeing his memory of him having sex with Sarah.
- Duke asks Jennifer to help him escape the hospital.
: All you have to do is get me a paperclip. (Beat
) And my pants.
- Duke proves his identity to Dave by revealing Dave is a fan of Oprah Winfrey.
- "Bad Blood": Jordan explains Duke's Trouble to Jennifer, taunting him all the way.
Jordan: He's a sponge...
Duke: Shut up!
Jordan: For Troubled blood. An evil sponge.
Duke: I said shut up, Jordan!
- "The New Girl":
- Lexie keeps getting Nathan's last name wrong.
- Lexie comments that given how dangerous Haven is, "Why the hell does anybody still live here?"
- Every word out of the mouth of the crabby coroner lady Gloria, dragged out of retirement to deal with the latest Trouble-related killing is hilarious.
: Okay, Seth Hughes, 25. Running errands, walks out of a bakery with a dozen muffins, and... gets rigor mortis. Yes, normally that happens after death, but in Haven. Look at that. It's like the actin and myosin in his cells went bonkers. Duke
: Bonkers? Gloria
: Yeah, it's a medical term
Gloria: You're a cop?
Gloria: I bought weed from you.
Duke: I...was undercover?
- "Lay Me Down":
- During Jennifer's job interview, she keeps alternating between wearing or not wearing glasses, after she was told that Dave has a glasses fetish and Vince doesn't.
- Gloria orders Nathan to never interrupt her while she is talking, yet ignores Lexie doing the same thing.
- Nathan gets an Erotic "Not Wearing Pants" Dream where Audrey is his Hot Teacher, who gives him a spanking. He wakes up with a Raging Stiffie.
- "William": Dwight's attempt to covertly tell the others where he's being held turns funny toward the end:
Dwight: ...plus, there's this guy, runs an underground poker game. Always has lots of money and lots of girls. I'm not supposed to know about it, but...
Duke (wincing): Okay, I know where he is.
- "The Trouble With Troubles": Nobody in-story brings it up but well... in the alternate universe, Dave has a full head of hair.
- Really, seeing the alternate-reality versions of all our main characters is good for a laugh. No-nonsense police detective Duke Crocker? Nerdy, squeamish Doctor Nathan Hansen? Dave Teague with a horrible toupee? Funny stuff.
- "Shot in the Dark":
- Seth, the host of Darkside Seekers, tripping over a trash can during his introduction.
- Seth mocking Haven's overuse of the gas leak to explain supernatural phenomena.
- Dwight reveals that he is not very tech-savvy, and resorts to Buffy Speak most of the time.
- Jennifer says she read Unstake My Heart and comments it is even worse than Twilight.
- "When the Bough Breaks": Watching Nathan and Duke snark at each other like old times after learning how the Troubles were matched up to people's personalities is a refreshing bit of funny in an otherwise dark-as-night episode:
Duke: Hunh. You were always kind of stiff growing up, so now you're numb.
Nathan: And you're a sponge.
- "The Lighthouse": Nathan realizes that there is one way he can hurt William without hurting Audrey...
- "See No Evil": It's a bit of Black Comedy, but there's something hilarious about Mara shooting Nathan right in the middle of his The Power of Love speech. You can tell from her expression that she did it largely just to shut him up.
- The Lighthouse bites it again. Gloria lampshades it, and a city official whines about how their insurance will go through the roof if they want to rebuild.
- "Much Ado About Mara":
- Vince and Dave childishly throwing popcorn at each other.
- Duke's new Trouble just makes him speak gibberish.
- A member of The Guard reveals he doesn't have a Trouble, but joined because he thought he could meet chicks.
- "The Old Switcheroo": Dwight and Gloria switch bodies, and boy is it hilarious. Much more so with Dwight, as seeing the big guy act like a Cool Old Lady is just wonderful. When Duke and Nathan are trying to figure out how to get Audrey back:
Duke: Nathan, we're supposed to treat her like Audrey, and you've got her chained to a bed. I'm pretty sure that's not how you and Audrey spent your evenings, and, if it is, please forgive me, I'm impressed.