"You know, they make it so you can't defeat Zurg unless you buy this book! It's extortion, that's what it is!"
—Rex, Toy Story 2
"What took a particularly annoying number of attempts was a bit towards the end where my sole instruction was to "take out the tank." But while the tank's weak spot was completely obvious — cause it was the bit behind intermittently closing armor plating — it didn't actually become a weak spot until I'd shot all the tank's wheels off. Oh yeah, obviously. Should've guessed that the wheels are where the enemy keeps all their magic monkey paws and four leaf clovers."
"You need to select the key to enter, the clock to tell you when the sun is rising, you need the medallion so the sun can shine at the right time and mark the spot on the map where you find a shovel to dig for the Ark. Wow. How complicated can it be for an Atari game?? Let alone that this is one of the few Atari games you can actually beat, whereas most of them are just about trying to get a high score—and when I say it "can be beat," that's hypothetical, because honestly I think it'd be easier to find the real lost Ark! Just the fact that you have to feel around secret passage ways and stuff it makes you feel like...Indiana Jones. Well, it got me there."
"You have to ask yourself why [Akitoshi] Kawazu would do this when he knew damn well there were thousands of RPG geeks who would go into conniptions after putting sixty hours into Final Fantasy XII and discovering that they blew their chance at getting the strongest weapon in the game within the first forty-five minutes. The only explanation is that he's a spiteful troll disguised as a legitimate video game developer. Kawazu is the type of person who designs those sadistic Super Mario hacks, only he happens to be an executive at one of the world's biggest and most influential video game companies."
"...Space Quest IV will give you hours of frustration unless you have this hintbook. Want to know how to get the dog into the hanging basket? Want to find out how to attach the melon? Buy this hintbook and it all becomes obvious."
Iolo: "Remind me again why we're doing any of this?"
Steve: "Obviously, to get the jawbone so that we can teleport to Monk Isle and get me a spellbook."
Iolo: "But there's no way you would have known that Erstam had any such thing, or that it could get you there. You just arbitrarily decided we'd go look for the Mad Mage!"
Nerd: Where am I suppose to go?
Kyle Justin: According to this book, you have to bomb the floor and a staircase appears.
Nerd: "Bomb the floor and a staircase appears." Yeah, that's really great. How the fuck would anyone figure that out!?
Sonic: Up... and down? UP... AND DOWN?!? What the f- *Time Over*