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Quotes: Guide Dang It
"You know, they make it so you can't defeat Zurg unless you buy this book! It's extortion, that's what it is!"
Rex, Toy Story 2

"I utterly missed a certain character who only appears in an area you've got no reason to go back to, and who is needed to open up a way into an entire fucking vital section of the game. From Software, are you getting backhanders from the GameFAQs people?"

"You need to select the key to enter, the clock to tell you when the sun is rising, you need the medallion so the sun can shine at the right time and mark the spot on the map where you find a shovel to dig for the Ark. Wow. How complicated can it be for an Atari game?? Let alone that this is one of the few Atari games you can actually beat, whereas most of them are just about trying to get a high score—and when I say it "can be beat," that's hypothetical, because honestly I think it'd be easier to find the real lost Ark! Just the fact that you have to feel around secret passage ways and stuff it makes you feel like...Indiana Jones. Well, it got me there."
The Angry Video Game Nerd plays Indiana Jones for Atari 2600

"You have to ask yourself why [Akitoshi] Kawazu would do this when he knew damn well there were thousands of RPG geeks who would go into conniptions after putting sixty hours into Final Fantasy XII and discovering that they blew their chance at getting the strongest weapon in the game within the first forty-five minutes. The only explanation is that he's a spiteful troll disguised as a legitimate video game developer. Kawazu is the type of person who designs those sadistic Super Mario hacks, only he happens to be an executive at one of the world's biggest and most influential video game companies."

"...Space Quest IV will give you hours of frustration unless you have this hintbook. Want to know how to get the dog into the hanging basket? Want to find out how to attach the melon? Buy this hintbook and it all becomes obvious."
Space Quest IV, cheerfully hanging a lampshade on its own genre [1]

Iolo: "Remind me again why we're doing any of this?"
Steve: "Obviously, to get the jawbone so that we can teleport to Monk Isle and get me a spellbook."
Iolo: "But there's no way you would have known that Erstam had any such thing, or that it could get you there. You just arbitrarily decided we'd go look for the Mad Mage!"
Steve: "Hey. Avatar. Trust me on this."

Nerd: Where am I suppose to go?
Kyle Justin: According to this book, you have to bomb the floor and a staircase appears.
Nerd: "Bomb the floor and a staircase appears." Yeah, that's really great. How the fuck would anyone figure that out!?

Sonic: Up... and down? UP... AND DOWN?!? What the f- *Time Over*
— Sonic in Sonic Shorts, voicing the frustrations of many players at the barrels in Carnival Night Zone Act 2 of Sonic 3 & Knuckles

Strong Bad:Besides, everybody knows the way to save Senor Cardgage is to cut a bunch of motor sports magazines in half and pour gravy on a defibrillator.

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