Quotes / Gargle Blaster

The effect of drinking a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is something akin to having one's brain smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick.
Official Guide entry, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Likely dropped to avoid seizure by authorities, or because of seizure due to drinking it. Garbolg only brewed from 8:74 to 8:92 Blessed, killed when the vapors in his beard spontaneously combusted.
— Description of "Garbolg's Backcountry Reserve", Dragon Age: Origins

*BELCH* "Not bad."
Oghren (after drinking from a cup containing, among other things, lyrium and darkspawn and archdemon blood), Dragon Age: Origins Awakening

"Scumble's made of apples. Well, mostly apples."

Maître Folace: Problem is, the ordinary fare got hijacked by the kids. What do we do? Do we go for the weird stuff?... This won't make anyone younger. [he pulls out a bottle]
Raoul Volfoni: Good, we're saved.
Maître Folace: Saved... we'll see!
Jean: Hey, did you pull out the vitriol?
Paul Volfoni: Why are you saying that?
Maître Folace: Well.
Paul Volfoni: Looks honest enough, though.
Monsieur Fernand: Without being frankly dishonest, at first glance, like that, it... looks a bit weird.
Maître Folace: It's from the Mexican's time, during the golden age... We had to stop making it, though, some clients were getting blind. Ah, this was causing no end of troubles!
[they prudently drink]
Raoul Volfoni: Gotta say... it's brutal!
Paul Volfoni: [tears in his eyes] You were right, it's the weird stuff, huh?
Monsieur Fernand: I've known a Polish woman who drank this for breakfast. [drinks, winces] Still, you gotta admit: it's rather a men's drink... [he coughs]
Raoul Volfoni: Do you know what it reminds me of? That funny kind of thing we used to drink in a low dive of Bien Hoa, not very far from Saigon. "The Red Shutters"... and the boss woman, a blonde bombshell... What was her name already, dammit?
Monsieur Fernand: Lulu la Nantaise.
Raoul Volfoni: You knew her?
[Monsieur Fernand rolls his eyes]
Paul Volfoni: I believe it tastes like apples.
Maître Folace: There's some.
[later, they're drunk]
Maître Folace: And... And... And... 50 kg of potatoes, a bag of sawdust, he could get you 25 liters of first-rate stuff from the alembic; a real wizard, Jo. And that's why I'm taking the liberty to intimate to folks inclined to sully memories that they'd better shut their stinky trap!
Paul Volfoni: You can say whatever you want, there's not just apples... there's something else... It wouldn't be, by any chance... beetroot? Huh?
Monsieur Fernand: Yes, there's some too.

Ratch: Ryncol's a local favorite. Don't try to act tough; it'll tear your insides apart.
Grunt: He's not joking. Ryncol hits aliens like ground glass.

Bartender: Okay — for you, something special. This is krogan liquor — ryncol. You'll set off radiological alarms after you drink it. Should I pour you a quad?
Shepard: Hell yeah! Put more stuff in the... the thing more stuff goes in.
Bartender: Your funeral, pal/sister.

Garrus: Excuse me, can you tell me where the bartender keeps the hard stuff? Like say, turian horosk?
Guard: I'm sorry, sir, but we aim to entertain our guests, not put them in a coma.

Bartender: What are you having?
Shepard: Nothing too crazy. I want to be able to walk a straight line.
Bartender: Thessian Temple coming up.
Shepard: Are asari drinks usually mild?
Bartender: Not all of them. Mr. Khan had us put out some gelatin shots earlier. Also asari, but they kick like a shotgun.
Bartender: Evening.
Shepard: What's popular tonight?
Bartender: Well, some adventurous souls are trying the mindfish. It's what hanar like to do instead of alcohol.
Shepard: Huh. I guess since they're mostly water, the dehydration would be bad.
Bartender: Right. So there's this fish with hallucinogenic skin oil. Gets hanar buzzed right up.
Shepard: What happens if humans eat it?
Bartender: Way more potent, and it releases into our systems slowly. Best to clear your schedule for the entire weekend.
Bartender: What can I do for you?
Shepard: I'm curious; what's the craziest thing you've ever served up?
Bartender: Well, there's the burukh. That's a krogan drink you set on fire, put out, then drink from the scalding-hot cup.
Bartender: There's a "Weeping Heart." That's a martini with drell-skin venom. The venom's pretty mild, though.
Bartender: Oh, wait — a volus bina. The alcohol puts you on the floor, and the ammonia lets you clean up the mess you made. If you live.
Mass Effect 3, showing that the only safe drink in the Mass Effect franchise is probably water.

Call: (chokes) Shit Johnner, what'd you put in this, battery acid?
Johnner: Just a little. For colour.

Richie: What's in this?!
Eddie: Brandy...
Richie: Good!
Eddie: ...meths, Pernod, paintstripper, Mr. Sheen, brake fluid and Drambuie!
Richie: Drambuie?! Oooh hoo-hoo ooooh!
Eddie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right. You've gotta put something in for the birds, haven't you?
Richie: (taking a whiff) Jesus! How are you alive?
Eddie: I may very well not be!
Bottom, "Hole"

"I pick up the martini glass and sip it slowly. The cocktail, made by some insane bartender on the homeworld, is damned good but like its name says it hits like a hammer."
Captain Kanril Eleya (regarding the "Hathon hammer"), Bait and Switch

(916): I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?

(845): Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.

(603): you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important

(615): The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.

LCDR. Worf: (holding his head and groaning) Romulan ale should be illegal.
LCDR. Geordi La Forge: (matter-of-factly) It is.

Guybrush: What's in that grog stuff, anyway?
The Three Important-Looking Pirates: Grog is a secret mixture that contains one or more of the following: Kerosene, Propylene Glycerol, Artificial Sweeteners, Sulphuric Acid, Rum, Acetone, Red Dye No. 2, SCUMM, Axle Grease, Battery Acid, and/or Pepperoni.

"Of the sparkling wines, the most famous is Perth Pink. This is a bottle with a message in, and the message is BEWARE. This is not a wine for drinking. This is a wine for laying down and avoiding."
Monty Python's Flying Circus, "Australian Table Wines"

Stan Lee: I gotta have some of that!
Thor: Oh, nonono. See, this... this was aged for a thousand years, the barrels built from the wreck of Brunhilde's fleet. It is not meant for mortal men.
Stan Lee: Neither was Omaha Beach, blondie. Stop trying to scare us. Come on.
Thor: All right.
(Thor pours Stan a shot. One shot later, an incredibly drunk Stan is being dragged off by two men.)
Stan Lee: Exshellsior...

"We call it dragon's milk. If you drink enough it's possible to set your breath in fire."

Freya: We brew the Atuta into a broth which we drink before battle. It brings on the spirit of the bear and gives us strength to swing our swords.
EMH: It's more likely to bring on profuse sweating, convulsions and acute delirium! This is an amonita muscaria, a fungus common to sub-arctic climates and, let me assure you, quite poisonous.
Freya: Yes, but those it does not kill it makes strong. A most hardy plant.
Star Trek: Voyager, "Heroes And Demons"

Fyodor: What are these beverages made of?
Leman Russ: This is my attempt at remaking the good ol' recipe for Fenresian Ale by combining Bylestim and the distilled liver-juices of a Bloodthirster!
Fyodor: ...Are you telling us to literallly drink liquid chaos?

Now listen, ang moh. Listen. Forget everything you've learned about getting drunk. That bottle of Chivas cut with bottles of cheap Coke might get you there, but Graveyards are a one-way ticket on the fast train to Knockoutville. A trifecta of whiskeys, triple sec, equal amounts of rum, vodka, gin and tequila. Mix with beer and stout. Consume. You won't know what hit you.
Actually, you will. Because unless you've lived a truly unfortunate life, chances are that first sip will be the worst thing you've ever put in your mouth.
Food Of The Gods by Cassandra Khaw

"It's not often you see wine with a head on it."

"It's not actually beer, cap'n," a zailor confides. "It's eel-blood fermented with zee-fungus, or somefin'. I didn't hear the whole account. I was too busy throwin' up."
Shore Leave in the Chelonate, Sunless Sea

Legs: Frankly, my dear, it's full of stars!
Schlock: Medic!
Legs: I see dead people!
Schlock: HAZMAT!!