is a website cataloging hilarious and downright bizarre texts that are sent in from around the United States and occasionally around the world. It is very much
as 90% of the texts sent in are under the influence of alcohol or drugs, or mentions of sexual encounters. Other times, it's perfectly sober people making extremely poor decisions.
It's become a popular meme in many fandoms to copy and paste texts from TFLN onto stills or screencaps, as if the characters are the ones sending the texts.
- A Date with Rosie Palms: A frequent topic.
(636): I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
(636): And then audibly agreed
- Alcohol-Induced Idiocy: The entire point of the site...although sometimes, it's just perfectly sober people making extremely poor decisions.
- All Men Are Perverts
- All Women Are Lustful
- Atomic F-Bomb:
(614): Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
(1-614): FUCK YOU.
- Bad Ass: Quite a few.
(970): Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
- Clingy Jealous Girl/Crazy Jealous Guy: Occasionally strays into this territory.
(847): i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
- Cluster F-Bomb: The word "fuck" is about as common as "the" on the site.
- Cordon Bleugh Chef: On occasion.
(913): Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
- Dating What Daddy Hates:
(585): don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
- Death by Sex
(205): I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
- Even the Dog Is Ashamed:
(423): What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
(602): My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
(440): I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
- Everybody Has Lots of Sex
- Gargle Blaster:
(916): I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
(845): Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
(603): you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
- Groin Attack/Share the Male Pain: Happens to both men and women, this is a very notable example.
- Incest Is Relative: Every now and then.
- I Need a Freaking Drink:
(253): I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
- Lethal Chef:
(509): after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
- Malaproper: A common occurence.
(412): He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
- Moment Killer: Sometimes accidental, sometimes deliberate.
(715): I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
- Mushroom Samba:
(828): I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
- My Sister Is Off Limits: Occasionally straying into Anyone in My Family is Off Limits.
I'm fucking your sister right now. (1-813:)
You motherfucker. (813:) She's next.
- Never Mess with Granny:
(651): It happened again.
(651): I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
(973): You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
(908): That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
- Noodle Incident: Since all of these texts are posted out of context, you often wonder what the circumstances are that would entail such responses.
(845): It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
- Office Romance: Or rather office trysts. Sometimes invoked, sometimes averted.
(305): If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
(303): Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
(513): DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
(504): NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
- Oh, No... Not Again!
(240): Banned from zoo.
(520): Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
(480): Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
- Only Sane Man: A vibe frequently picked up from some of the multi-part texts, along with Deadpan Snarker:
(613): IM WEARING A FLAG
(1-613): So that's a no to the clothes, then
- Really Gets Around
- Sexy Whatever Outfit: The Halloween texts.
(512): halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
(480): exactly, that's why i want something interesting
(512): slutty neuroscientist?
- One hilarious saga is apparently a group of friends deciding to dress one of their male friends in a French Maid Outfit for Halloween, complete with fake breasts and leg waxing.
(412): i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
(412): his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
(412): we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
(412): he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
(412): he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
- Stoners Are Funny: As a part of Truth in Television.
(650): Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
- Stupid Sexy Flanders:
(206): Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
- The Internet Is for Porn:
(917): his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
(847): His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
- What Did I Do Last Night?: The website.
- Wholesome Crossdresser
(+61): yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
- Your Cheating Heart: Often.
(303): Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
(484): She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.