Follow TV Tropes

Following

Gargle Blaster / Real Life

Go To

Real Life is full of examples of Gargle Blasters that people actually drink. That being said, their inclusion on this page probably means that you really shouldn't be drinking any of them — several of these are downright dangerous, and the rest eventually turn unpleasant. They're Gargle Blasters for a reason.

Also, while they may seem girly, many real life Umbrella Drinks fall under this trope in general.


    open/close all folders 

    Just Too Much Alcohol 
One of the easiest ways to make a Gargle Blaster is to just put together obscene amounts of already potent alcoholic beverages and drink the result.
  • André the Giant had his own version called "The American", a 1.25 litter pitcher with whatever he may find on the liquors cabinet. Being who he was, it wasn't a rare occurrence to see him having several of them on a hot summer afternoon.
  • Anthony Burgess describes his homemade cocktail, "Hangman's Blood", which contains about ten shots' worth of alcohol:
    Into a pint glass, doubles (i.e. 50ml measures) of the following are poured: gin, whisky, rum, port, and brandy. A small bottle of stout is added and the whole topped up with Champagne... It tastes very smooth, induces a somewhat metaphysical elation, and rarely leaves a hangover.
  • And of course, there are numerous recipes that try to recreate the Trope Namer with real-world ingredients.
  • The cocktail "G.R.E.E.N." consists of Gin, Rum, two shots of Everclear (one for each "E"), and apple schNapps (which may or may not itself be green depending on brand). The joke is that after you drink G.R.E.E.N, you won't care that "apple schnapps" doesn't start with "N" (or that "G.R.E.E.N" isn't actually green, depending).
  • It's possible to do this by accident if a person inexperienced with making cocktails doesn't measure properly and overpours the liquor.
    • Additionally, if someone who prefers and/or is used to more potent mixtures prepares a drink for someone who is either inexperienced with alcohol or prefers a weaker mixture, it can have the same result.

    Insane Ingredients 
The Gargle Blasters that will make you think I Drank WHAT?!, or are at least obviously a really bad idea.
  • Prison liquor is always illegally brewed and consumed, and the measures to keep the guards from discovering it will make it even less appetizing (including but not limited to fermenting it in a plastic bag hidden inside the cell's toilet). American prison liquor is called "pruno", and it's basically made by an inmate fermenting anything he can get his hands on (ketchup, fruit, crumbled bread, whatever). One of the most infamous is the "Pájaro Verde" ("Green Bird"), from Chile. It's made from fermented garbage (turpentine, paint, varnish, even human shit, mixed with cola drinks and lemon to "improve" the taste) and methanol rather than ethanol; this combination is enough to kill several inmates every year.
  • The "Grog" is one that has an equivalent at almost any military function. Each unit brings a different type of alcohol (or other addition), and everything is poured into a large pot. This is how you get things like alcohol mixed with Iraqi sand (and the boot it was brought home in) and shredded paper. Chatham County Artillery Punch lays claim to being the first such drink, deriving from a local legend where all the officers independently decided to spike the punch at an Artillery Ball.
  • Four Loko is so named for its four key ingredients, one of which is alcohol, and the other three being caffeine, guarana, and taurine. As such, it was marketed as an alcoholic energy drink. Consumption led to an increase in alertness coupled with a decrease in awareness, and overconsumption (which can be as few as two cans, since the alcohol content of the drink is quite significant) has led to seizures, comas, and death. The drink was so potentially dangerous to human health that the FDA legally banned it, and other caffeinated alcoholic beverages, outright in 2010. Four Loko would return, albeit with the caffeine and other stimulants taken out of its formula and replaced with the food coloring agent Red 40.
  • The "bar mat shot" (also known as the Gorilla Fart, Matt Damon, Sweaty Bartender, Grey Snail, Dirty Cow, Sweaty Biker, or Jersey Turnpike) is exactly what it sounds like: a collection of all the liquors, other mixers, and ice that accumulate on the rubber mat from spills (or squeezed out from a bar rag) during a night of bartending. It's not uncommon to find fruit flies in it and it's described as tasting like a warm Long Island Iced Tea with a hint of dirty rag. If you get one, you probably either lost a bet with someone or seriously pissed off the bartender at some point.
  • Bored and/or broke rural teens in the southern United States have been known to drink "Dewshine", which is a mix of Mountain Dew soda and automotive racing fuelnote . Rather obviously, this is not a safe drink combination and it has killed people.

    Drinking 'Round the World 
Some countries have their own baffling Gargle Blaster varieties that leave foreigners nonfunctional.
  • Finland: A "Turkish Pepper" shot is vodka mixed with crushed "Turkish Pepper" candies. The Finnish retail version was removed after (false) rumors of fatalities, and the version currently sold has less alcohol content. You really should mix it yourself though, and in this case, it can apparently be too strong for Vince Neil.
  • The Discworld's Scumble is based on Scrumpy, a super-potent British cider that's the drink of choice for the Demoman from Team Fortress 2. According to Terry Pratchett, homebrewed scrumpy has "a kick that lasts for the rest of your life." Scrumpy isn't that strong by the standards of this page, however; it usually lands around 8-9% abv, i.e. the strength of what in the U.S. is known as malt liquor. The kick comes from the fact that the metal details on old cider presses tend to be lead, which reacts with the acids in the apple juice in interesting ways, and the fact that scrumpy is normally sold in pints (an Imperial pint is 568 ml). It's also worth noting the word "usually". Home-brewed variants can be quite a lot stronger and contribute to its reputation as this trope - they've been known to briefly serve as a viable substitute for petrol.
  • Then there is Rakı - the national drink of Turkey. Popularly known as lion's milk rakı is made from twice-distilled grapes, is transparent in color unless mixed with water which causes it to turn cloudy, and is typically 80 to 100 proof. Mustafa Kemal Atatürk, who founded the modern Turkish state, was very fond of the beverage and consumed a large amount of it on a nearly daily basis. That said, it is usually drunk diluted with water and with lots of meze (snacks).
  • Germany: The popular ginger-flavoured schnapps Ratzeputz is fairly throat-ripping on it's own, but it is also a key ingredient in some true Gargle Blasters, such as:
    • The Donkey's Kick: 2 cl Ratzeputz, 2 cl tequila, 2-3 drops of tabasco and salt and pepper on the rim of the glass (or, if you're truly brave or truly mad, on your lips).
    • The Aqua Regia: 4 cl Ratzeputz, 2 cl Fernet Branca Menta, 2 cl Baileys, Rose's Lime and some ice cubes (that are probably regretting all their life choices as they melt).
  • Mexico couldn't be the exception.
    • Since local willingnes to consume fire-waters with gusto tends to spwan inventions such as "Awas Lokaz" (That's "Krazy Fresh Waterz" for you, primos!). Created out of the necessity of hammer as much people as possible with few bucks, most of them employ fruit juice and a local concoction called "Tonayán" (A mid-phase between real fire-water and pure ethilic alcohol). Several recipes can be found over the web having funny names as (Translated) "Punch-drunk Smurf" , "Poor-man's Baileys", "Slum mod girl" or the most infamous "Princess' pee" and if you know a bit of spanish, you will find out why.
    • An example even Older Than Feudalism is "Pasita" (Raisin liquor). An ancestral recipe only known for otherwise harmless mexican old ladies that is Exactly What It Says on the Tin. The issue is you can enjoy a very sweet drink that it isn't half bad, the little glasses it's poured in can inconspicuously make you enjoy 3 - 5 of them, the real problem comes when you try to move after its consumption... it may vary from one case to the next but most common symptom is complete loss of balance, and in the most severe ones a huge case of diharrea.
  • United States:
    • Jeppson's Malört is a popular bitter with wormwood from the Chicago area. The taste has been described as "pencil shavings and heartbreak", "a burning condom filled with gasoline" and "pumpkin spice for sadists" and lingers on the tongue for minutes.
      • Wormwood-flavored liqueurs, known as bäsk, have been popular in Sweden for centuries as digestive aids. The Swedish immigrant Carl Jeppson started to sell what would become Jeppson's Malört for medical purposes in Chicago during Prohibition, and the authorities allowed it, because they believed that no one would be desperate enough to get drunk on something so vile.
    • The Zombie is a classic American drink, a complicated mixture of fruit juices and alcohol which expertly masks that it contains three ounces of standard rum and an ounce of overproof to round things out. The name is coined from the state of the consumer afterwards.

    Location Gimmicks 
Some individual events and establishment will have their own Gargle Blasters that you can't get anywhere else:
  • Sci-fi conventions have started to serve Ryncol, named in honor of Mass Effect 2's resident Gargle Blaster. They make it as potent as its namesake with mostly a combination of absinthe and grain alcohol with just a touch of blue curacao to get the color right.
  • The theme camp Spock Mountain Research Laboratories at the Burning Man festival has served a drink called "Hyper-Whiskey" for years. Though the recipe varies, it has usually contained some kind of chili sauce or horseradish.
  • When you check in at the Society for Creative Anachronism's Pennsic War, you're given the suggested drinking rules for the event. Basically, don't drink it if it smokes, glows, glitters, they won't tell you what's in it, or if the name contains the word "surprise". Case in point: the infamous "Strawberry Surprise" consists of grain alcohol and pepper spray. The surprise is that it tastes nothing like strawberries and everything like pain.

Top